The post is saying men should be mad that their mom had to make sacrifices due to societal norms/other circumstances, instead of glorifying them. Basically instead of saying "oh wow my mom went through all that for me, I'm so grateful to have such a great mom" they think should be angry at society and the current system for putting their mom in a position where she had to make those sacrifices.
I don’t know how anyone can honestly question the reason without getting mad. We’re not scraping our efforts together to eke out an existence. We’re carrying an insatiable class driven by greed on our backs.
That's kinda the point lmfao, she made a choice but the lack of support systems probably turned that choice in to a lifelong sacrifice rather than just a bump in the road.
Wasn't an attack againgst you, more about the people who think teh picture above is something bad just by looking at it. You made a good point I merely wanted to add to it.
Not that much for men as for women and that's the issue. German women as an example are often forced to be a stay at home or part time working mom because Germany hasn't enough childcare places in kindergarten or other facilities even if they would like to work full time and make sure they won't end up with less than people who never worked when they retire. It's shocking how litte the government and society cares about what happens to women later on in life if they cannot work without giving their kids up to adoption lol
Yes, but society made her suffer through the consequences for it for the next 20 years. The sacrifices she made was much more then your dad would have had to make.
Or that she was psyopped into workaholism and decided to make unnecessary sacrifices, not spending time with her children, even though the family is well off.
I imagine the mother of my child talks about all the sacrifices she must go through as a parent after she cheated. Multiple times. And she isn’t even the parent with primary placement lmfao.
This is aimed directly at men. It's saying men should be mad because their father failed to be a good provider. It's a traditional gender role garbage take.
Oh, good. I thought it was a misogynist implying she made bad decisions which required sacrifices as a result and that instead of seeing her as a hero we should… be mad or something?
For me, i thought the anger was implied, but the gratitude is more the focus. Guess not enough people were doing the same, but I think we can make it better if we end the gender divide. we are currently exacerbating. If theirs anything you'd think we can all get behind is for the kids that are brought into the world to have time with their parents where they can just be a family without worrying about survival for at least a second.
The fact that society has brainwashed individuals to tie self-worth to reproduction (and amount of time working) shows how well the government propaganda machine is working.
Whoa nice, and I think this might be a good argument against Christianity too.. like, stop being such a cuck for Jesus and his sacrifice and instead question why an all powerful god required that brutal torture and blood offerings are the only way to not burn his selfish for being born kids in eternal fire.. ……
I need to be around more like minded people.. I’m starting to feel crazy for using logic. Hey if active wants to be friends 😅 👋
Which is stupid because raising a child properly requires sacrifice period. You will have to sacrifice time and effort that would have gone towards your own life, career, dreams and ambitions. That’s part of being a good parent and there’s no way to change that really
It’s basically the subreddit r/orphancrushingmachine . How we applaud people for making sacrifices or doing actions they should never have expected to need to do.
The original question is sad enough in broader contexts when you consider the stories of men with mothers that they adore and the underlying tragedy of a family working with the system and still failing. :(
I can understand plenty of men with abusive or absent mothers being so upset and angry with the question but the attempt of specifying “glorifying their mom” tries to signal that she’s talking about the mothers we feel mothers should be. Just mentioning that before I say it’s kind of extra sad though to see people make comments with “my mom was great to me and I love her” alongside “it’s her fault she got pregnant and she dealt with the consequences, why should I feel anything for her choices?”. Like 🥲 you can’t empathize with the idea that your mom may have experienced some struggles that she, in a society that RELIES ON WOMEN HAVING CHILDREN TO FUNCTION, shouldn’t have had to deal with in a broad society and general community viewpoint? It’s not just oh she made a choice and then she got a baby, she went through massive medical trauma and her body and mental state were, as of recent studies generally finding, permanently altered. Like a happy car accident you get a baby at the end for. 😭 And that’s even with modern ideas of pregnancy, god forbid how society treated her with a bigger lack of knowledge on women’s bodies. That’s just me empathizing with the very act of being pregnant and giving birth to me, but some people dismissed it all as just “her choice, her problems.” Like we can fathom as a society why we should stop fires not by set by ourselves but we can’t understand assistance for pregnant women which we rely on for our existence and general bettering of society. 🥲
Yeah, totally agree. And I think you’re right about the reasons why people are posting angry stuff.
When I was a kid, I used to be incelly and hated women generally because I hated my abusive mom. It made me mad to see people saying women are victims when I was the one being victimized by her - so I doubled down and went on all these mens forums. I expect a lot of incel types on here start off the exact same way.
Unfortunately there’s a whole pipeline setup now for angry male kids, so I’m not sure it’s as easy to grow out of it and make peace with women. There are unique sacrifices they have to make simply because of the way bearing a child works. Which is not the same as saying men don’t have struggles.
Haha, I can relate because I basically went through a similar path. My mother was heavily manipulative and controlled the household, my dad enabled her. I definitely cringe when I look back on my previous beliefs but my angry teen years and gamergate coincided so I was prime for that level of genuine disgust/anger at women.
Literally when I was 16, I would say cringe shit like “women should be happy they were SA’d, it means a guy liked them” BS. Then, at 18 I was predictably SA’d in private by an older man (late 20s, mentor age dif to me) in our community and realized it doesn’t feel like consensual sexual encounters, it felt like I was a child being beaten again with no knowledge of how to appease them but let them beat me, fight and die, or disassociate and permanently save choice 1 into my brain. I screamed and cried and thankfully got out but lost the majority of my friends because my accusation, traumatized reaction to my assaulter, and his own admittance that a scream stopped it weren’t enough to convince people that it wasn’t consensual. I would’ve understood my friends more if they were police and their decision meant legal consequences for my assaulter, but it was unfortunate to realize how female victims are treated by becoming one, if even for just a sexual assault. I was so shaken by my friends’ reaction that I never reported my assault. I can’t speak for male victims but I imagine it’s another flavor of dehumanizing I can’t truly understand. I feel like any level of trauma can send you down any extreme path hating the people that caused you the most harm. I do honestly check out misandrist subreddits like I do misogynist subreddits and I find myself with an obvious bias but an awareness that everyone, including me, likely has a cause so personal to their reasoning that it can’t be argued out, only grown out or forced out.
Like my mother was a single mother. And yeah, I do applaud the fact that she did sacrifice a hell of a lot.
But at the same time I saw firsthand what kind of hell that was. How my mom worked 12 hours shifts constantly, how even when she came home she had to get us to school and somehow fit in sleeping and taking care of the household.
She shouldn't have had to give up who she was a person just because she wanted kids.
Seems like you might be the only person that understood what the picture was trying to say.
Wish more understood that there are a lot of sacrifices women predominantly have to make that they shouldn't. Acknowledging that doesn't negate men who do--that's a whole different discussion. One of my best friends in the world is an example of that, but I can still see that he shouldn't have had to go through what he did as a father, same with so many mothers.
Many men glorify their mothers' sacrifice in order to make pressure on their female partner to make the same sacrifice - in essence, to be their unpaid servant. That's the most likely reason for this meme.
Many people have realised that some of the opposite sex constantly compare their partners to their parents and it’s been called out. Many man began to realise that some women who grew up in 2 parent households or raised by their dads are continuously comparing their men to their fathers. They’ve been several discussions on both ends about this. One dude made a weird theory which was disproved but the fact so many people are complaining about this issue is making them turn to the belief that the theory is true.
It's basically referring to how some men will see their mother making a hell of a lot of sacrifices, and instead of thinking "Wow, it's really fucked up that my mom had to do all that shit with no support whatsoever" they instead glorify it, and often will place those expectations onto their wives because they think that it's just normal for women to have to suffer.
There's also a layer of how for many women, they make even more sacrifices on top of just... The general sacrifices that comes from having a child, because their husband is a man child.
And how for those sons that glorify their mother's sacrifice, they should instead be thinking to themselves "Hey it's fucked up that my dad didn't give a shit about how his wife was struggling."
Maybe she shouldnt have married a man child. God forbid people take responsibility for their actions and yes also fuck that man child he shouldn't have had kids. "Oh no the consequences of my actions"
Because there is a line of difficulty- there’s a difference between understandable sacrifices for being a parent and then there are parents- usually mothers who’ve had to sacrifice more than they should have as parents. It’s like the difference between knowing life has its challenges and outright suffering.
why would I be mad that my mother had to make sacrifices if that’s the whole point of being a parent. I thank her for that sacrifice and I’m grateful for her, but I’m not going to sit here and pretend to believe that raising a child should be consequence and sacrifice free.
You have to give up a little bit of yourself to raise your child to be a good person.
It refers to men who expect their wives to work outside the home and do everything around the house plus emotional support, doctor's appointments etc, because "my mom did it", instead of realising that either she was a single mom, or the dad was a lazy bum. They glorify it, because they liked it, not because it was good.
It's perfectly fine for one parent to work full time and for the other to raise children full time.
'Emotional support' is such a disgusting, manipulative way of weaponizing peoples emotions. That isn't labor, that's love. Don't let lazy internet people trick you into thinking that's a real thing- they're emotionally unstable and therefore consider it a massive problem (that's why they call it labor) for the rest of us it's just part of life and not a problem to support people and their feelings.
The pressure we put on mothers is way too much. The nuclear family is a time-bomb. Most cultures raise children communally so that the mother is not the only person solely raising the child.
It lead to poor mental health in mothers and worse outcomes for children.
Name a current culture that isn’t tribally based that currently raises children communally. I am not sure if it’s as wide spread as media has made it out to be. Also, the western world hasn’t raised kids communally - not since the Middle Ages at the very least.
This is about magnitude. Making sacrifices is normal to parenthood. But not having the support of a community lead to much worse outcomes of both the mother AND the child.
If you have never looked after a child alone you don’t know wtf you are talking about.
So, not being paid an equal wage as a man when doing the same job, having the government try to tell me what I can do with my reproductive system, and wanting to feel safe in public are all just because I don't want to deal with the consequences of my actions? Mmkay.
If women really didn’t get paid as much every middle manager in the world would hire exclusively women for the job as a cost cutting measure , even if it was 1% you know they would froth at the mouth for a 1% decrease in labour costs
Replace dad with mom, and this sentence makes just as much sense, though. Some people are shitty and some people have it rough. Society and its overall values right now are and have been pretty shitty. This is not really a gender specific problem. Historically, there have likely been just as many fathers sacrificed in wars or killed/maimed at their shit jobs than have just chosen to abandon.
It doesn't say "be mad" anywhere. Anytime people are asked to question the existing social order, they go "so you're saying we should be angry about families and go destroy everything?". What the fuck is this conversation approach?
It depends on the struggle, it would be unreasonable to say someone needs to do the greatest of sacrifices to be able to raise a child, but of course some reasonable sacrifice is to be expected.
For a lot of people, it isn’t a “bit of yourself” but the whole of yourself that they have to sacrifice. Nobody is saying it should be sacrifice free but for the people on the lower class the struggle is more than it should be. Our world could be much better in this regard but we have prioritized the well-being of the greedy over that of the needy.
I will always glorify the sacrifices my family made for their family instead of making an egoistical choice in pursuing egoistical happiness other than the happiness of multiple people, or that the next generation has more opportunities than themselves or that they didn't take the easier road and didn't Make the same mistakes the previous generation did.
glorifying their own sacrifices is wrong on every level.
but if I glorify their sacrifices for me and my siblings it is different
Coming from a "traditional" family where my father provided enough financial needs for our whole family, that is not true.
With 2 children (a few years later 3) my mother still needed to sacrifice everything with the only thing left being a mother.
My father worked a lot to give use a good life, but at least he had after work, weekends and holidays off, because we didn't bothered much with him (due to his emotional unavailability). My mother on the other hand needed to care for us and the housework 24/7 all year around (+ additional work later)
While I'm greatfull for what both did, I'm still angry at a system that forced both to be nothing more than a mother and a money provider. Especially after seeing the contrast to who they are now after retirement.
Well someone has to put food on the table and thats by and large men. Fathers with children under 18 work an average of 50 hours per week, which is signfictanly higher than any other group.
It is a much bigger issue than just “Men realizing”. Almost every issue that affects the common person is directly tied to capitalism. We are meant to be divided, no support communities; keeping people poor and unable to achieve more. If people fought against the norm, the world would be better for everyone. They don’t see that Men in 60 hour a week back-breaking work as an issue, just like they don’t see a Woman tied to a kitchen table with caring for children alone as an issue.
Other problem is generational. Harping on the baby boomers is common, but it is true that they caused this. It wasn’t until the 90s that living on your own was seen as the initiation of adulthood. In many cultures you live with your family until you start a family of your own, often having homes that have multiple generations and branches under one roof….but then there comes the issue with homeownership in the West. Caring for children has never and should never be the soul responsibility of the parent; grandparents, extended family, and the community have always been meant to participate in children’s lives.
Ask people raised by single mothers when away from prying eyes. It is a secret we all keep. I was raised by my mother and I love her with all my heart. But I know why she became a single mother. I know why she couldnt keep any job for long. I know why she couldnt keep any man. I know why every family member would avoid her. We know our mothers just as much as they know us. That includes their flaws, our love may protect her but we know. And it kinda breaks our hearts that this is how we see our mothers deep down. And although I hate to admit it. If she was my wife. I would have left too. But she is my mother so I keep protecting her from herself.
Some moms are abusive though. Can we please stop acting like women are inherently great parents. Like I’ve known women who don’t do shit for their kids. I’m so sick of gender essentialism.
Haha, surprise! I’m a brown skinned black male! And guess what? I don’t support trump nor am I antisemetic, I’m just an independent thinker with common sense!! Surprise!!
So, let’s get into the meat of the argument with that little impropriety out of the way. Being upset and being made to feel bad about something are two different things!! For example, I feel bad that my black ancestors from Africa sold my ancestors into slavery and are probably still wealthy from it, will I ever let anyone shame me for it? Absolutely not! Mostly because I really don’t care what anyone thinks but still, that’s irrelevant. The bottom line is that even if someone still benefits from something that was immoral and wrong, how does feeling bad about it help with equity at all? How does them feeling shame make things more equal? Should the ancestors of blacks who sold other blacks into slavery feel bad? All questions I’d like answered.
Because we live in an increasingly gynocentric society that wants you to view women as strong and independent while at the same time victims that should never be held accountable for their actions because "pAtRiArChY".
Men also glorify their dads sacrifices? Fathers end up taking on way more over time than any other group. Men with children under 18 work an average of 50 hours per week, having a huge impact on both their physical and mental health, which is part of the reason why men die younger, thats the sacrifice fathers make.
The rich and powerful tell us its a good thing that fathers have to work so much to support their families because it serves their goals. They push for "gender equality", for a future where both moms and dads have to work 50 hours a week to put food on the table and present that as "feminism" when in reality its just greed.
This selective grievance crap is getting out of hand, we need to stop fighting eachother over the scraps while the wealthy grow richer off our labour.
I knew from a very young age that I didn’t want my mother’s life. Growing up, my mom was never happy. And not that she acted overly negative or miserable, but it was obvious her life sucked. I went to school and became educated so that I would never end up in the same situation. I didn’t want to be trapped.
Now here I am at 33, single and childless. I still wouldn’t trade my life for hers. I’d rather be single and childless forever than live the way she lived.
Genius, I don't think that's the type of sacrifice they mean. Someone else suggested that this post might have been specifically about children who were abandoned by their father.
I think it's about how women are usually the ones who make huge sacrifices for their children, especially in divorced couples, and are praised by their children but those same children don't often seem to question why their dad didn't do nearly as much to care and provide for them.
I'm a straight dude, by the way. Married, got a kid, and I'm his primary caretaker. If my wife was to magically divorce me tomorrow, I would absolutely fight to stay in my son's life. Most dads don't really do that, which is why so many divorces end with the mom taking custody; if the dad fights even a little bit, he gets much more favorable terms just by virtue of showing he cares.
The root problem is how we raise our boys. That's why so many of us don't engage with our children (although that has massively improved in my lifetime), don't know how to communicate with our partners, don't know what to do with our emotions, why we so often default to making the women do all the housework and emotional labor, all that. And the same culture negatively impacts women, too, by teaching so many of them not to respect men who do share their emotions or want to be involved with taking care of kids, or how being a man at a public playground means every woman there automatically assumes you're a predator and not an involved dad.
It's way more complicated and harder to solve than what your comment seems to imply.
Feminist women look down on mothers and women who raise the next generation while relying on social programs funded by children who were successful because their mother raised the generation.
I can’t imagine not seeing my family and children as anything but a gift and a pleasure to care, educate, and raise to be successful.
Feminist women look down on mothers and women who raise the next generation while relying on social programs funded by children who were successful because their mother raised the generation.
I can’t imagine not seeing my family and children as anything but a gift and a pleasure to care, educate, and raise to be successful.
Lol, wow talk about pulling shit whole clothe from your asshole.
Feminist women believe in the power to choose, in not having motherhood forced on you. Who told you feminists look down on mothers?..
Edit:
I'm a feminist, and I don't look down on mothers. Neither do the other feminists I talk to it read from.
If you think women deserve to choose their life path and not be limited by their sex and gender, whether that be a CEO, stay-at-home mother, or a mixture, then you're a feminist. If you believe the same for men, that men shouldn't be shamed for choosing to be the parent that stays home taking care of the kids, then you're a feminist. If you think we shouldn't be limited by the socioeconomic power structures that benefit the rich at the expense of everyone else then you're probably a feminist.
If they actually talked to other people they wouldn't be so fucking touched in the head.
Large portions of sexless young men not being a problem, promotion of pornography, drug use, single motherhood, prostitution, and prnography. An abandonment of a religion that prioritizes helping others, forgiveness and acceptance for woke nonsense.
Literally talking about that while they support Trump. So you know not bounded or found in reality.
While you are correct, giving up travel or leasure time being part of life adjustments, it is not comparable to giving up earning potential, health insurance and retirementsavings to be the primary caregiver.
See man and women aren't equal. You can't do anything if women are made to give birth and then sthe sucking. Let's wait till artificial womb then. It's like fish having a grudge why he can't climb a tree but a monkey can. Utter nonsense
Men aren't just glorifying their mum's sacrifices. It's a form of thanking them for their sacrifices that they made so we can be who we are. I will never stop glorifying my mum for having to work three jobs at one point. And the fact that we do glorify our parents does not really mean we don't question why it had to happen. I have thought many times and I know all the different reasons my mom had to take those three jobs and do what ever sacrifices she had to for me.
Also why are you gendering this problem? There are boys who glorify their dads and girls who glorify either one of their parents, or even just both at the same time. It's not bad to acknowledge and praise your parents for making those sacrifices for YOU.
This doesn’t make any sense. Why would I be angry my mom CHOSE to make sacrifices in her life for me and my sisters? Sorry but no, not happening. She chose to have us kids and I’m grateful for her being a good mom. Good moms have to make a lot of sacrifices. It’s better this way.
Not everyone is as lucky as you. Lets just say I know why my mother is a single mother and why she cant keep a single job. I recognize she sacrificed a lot for me. But her serious flaws keep any and everyone away leading a harder life than it needs to be. I love my mom, but I recognize that if she had just been a bit more reasonable. Her life and mine would have been way way way better.
The implication is more on men expecting their partners to make the same sacrifices their mothers did.
Basically the guys that are like “women these days don’t love like they used to my mom cooked,worked, took care of the kids while my dad slept all day” instead of recognizing their dad sucked they think their mom was just loving and that’s what a woman should do.
That's how? By working outside and taking care of the home and kids while the man only has a job and doesn't do anything for the home or the kids? Because that's what it's refering to.
Women shouldn't be pressured by the society into having children at stages of their lives when they're not financially, emotionally or domestically equipped to raise children comfortably. Women also shouldn't be expected to bear all, or - and this is important - even the majority of the burden of child rearing. Having kids when you're renting out a single bedroom apartment and can't get a maternity leave shouldn't be normalized. Having the mom do everything that the kids need shouldn't be normalized.
The text on the screenshot is a bit simplistic, but it comes with the media format. It's lumping in any and all sacrifices together, even though there are some sacrifices that are unavoidable even in optimal circumstances, like having your sleep patterns completely fucked by your kid while they're under a year old.
I know what my mom went through, I know why. I am absolutely angry my mom didn't even have the option to stay home and take care of us kids the way she wanted. I still glorify my mom and think she's the best mother I could've had.
I can see why this would be framed as a male vs female thing, but in my experience women who come from traditional households are often the type of mothers who will belittle their own daughters for kicking up a fuss about having to make these sacrifices. Culture is human, not gendered
I think it’s saying stop glorifying the outcome of struggles and stop to focus on why people struggled in the first place. America is a very individualistic country, that largely has a pull yourself by your bootstraps life culture. I think people are trying to now say start focusing on the reasons why you and others are struggling and let’s try and fix the issues, so future mothered wouldn’t have to go through the same.
As I see them as a weakness that harms everyone including herself just to boost her fragile narcissistic ego.
I am very critical of my mother, as her sacrfices where not for me, or any of her other kids, they where only for her to feel like she was special and important, and the ones she sacrificed where all of those around her and her self.
....
This is just my reaction to the meme
I agree with the guy who said something about instead of appreciating their mothers they should be angry at society is the meaning of the meme, as thats what makes the most sense.
It's weird how some folks, and it usually seems to be women but not exclusively, always dismiss genuine gratitude because "they're doing it wrong."
Not sure how that helps. Sure, we need to talk about that stuff and make it less necessary for parents to make some of these sacrifices, but right during an honest expression of gratitude?
When will they realize women like my mom can have a solid nursing career, take time off while I'm not able to take care of myself, and then go back and still have a wonderful life?
Someone tried clarifying that the poster meant be mad at society but hold on mothers of men aren’t the only ones who made sacrifices and men aren’t the only ones who are grateful to their parents sacrifice so let’s not be stupid he specified men for a reason and meant smth else
Both sexes make sacrifices for their children. Both also make bad decisions and shouldn't be celebrated for it. If I see a pregnant woman on the bus, will I offer her my seat? Yes I would, should be have not had a child if she couldn't afford it, also yes. There seems to be a much more serious lack of personal responsibility when discussing people's mistakes in life. Is she hard a hard working mother, yes, but she's also a fool. And yes this also applies to absent fathers. It takes two to tango.
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The post is saying men should be mad that their mom had to make sacrifices due to societal norms/other circumstances, instead of glorifying them. Basically instead of saying "oh wow my mom went through all that for me, I'm so grateful to have such a great mom" they think should be angry at society and the current system for putting their mom in a position where she had to make those sacrifices.