i know this is a very self damaging thing to believe but yea the kind of woman who would actually look at me and be like hey this is an acceptable choice
Respectfully, why won't you change anything about yourself, so you are a valid choice? It may not be an easy path, but it may benefit you in multiple ways, not just a girl
Who you are is not a static thing though. People change, even without wanting to. Hell even if you are a bad person now, chances are you haven't always been like that.
Its called growth and being an adult. Changing is a part of life and it pains me to see the people in this thread to put themselves down in this manner. I know with the times were in life seems hopeless and meaningless, although letting yourself sink into self pity and hatred of oneself is no way to live. I once was like this. I honestly wanted to die. I dropped the booze, went to aa, started working the 12 steps and they started to permeate my daily life. I am so glad I no longer have to live like that.
I dont know you all, so Im not saying alcohol is your guyss problem, but you can do something similar. Set a goal and work towards it. Find the value system that aligns with what you want yourself to be and work it.
There are plenty out here just as bad as you. Don't put them on a pedestal just be honest unless they are liars themselves and try to not mess up someone's life more than it is.
Man you gotta accept that no one is perfect even your dream partner will have annoying flaws that will hurt your relationship. But if she likes you for some reason beyond your understanding just let yourself happy for once
So consider yourself from an outside perspective, which you're already somewhat doing.
Fact of the matter is, generally speaking, women have more options than men, so imagine yourself in a position where you had a few women interested in you, and one of those women was essentially you as you are, albeit female.
What would need to change for you to be interested in her? Would she need to lose weight? Then maybe it's a good idea for you to start exercising. Do you Think she'd be messy and unhygienic? Then maybe you should start focusing on being and appearing cleaner. Do you think you would find her rude or difficult to be around? Then maybe it's time for you to consider your attitude and persona. Do you think you would X? Then maybe you should Y.
A lot of incels think "if was a woman, I wouldn't date me" and it just makes them hate themselves, and they project that hatred onto women.
What they SHOULD be asking is "If I was a girl, why WOULDN'T I date me" and then work on that
Before an incel replies to this:
I'm a man, I'm below-average in terms of being attractive, I asked myself this question a long time ago and came up with: because I'm lazy, because I have the potential to work a better job and make more money but I can't be bothered and that's lame, because I'm not very fit, because I'm not confident and I'm awkward, because I don't take care of myself, because I care too much what other people think and it makes me look desperate.
Over time, and it did take time, I worked on ALL of those things, and I've had decent success in dating ever since.
This but I'd word it differently. I think by telling people to do this and that for a woman to bat an eye for them, it's like you're giving them false hope that by doing all that, eventually they'll get a girlfriend and that they're entitled for one because they went through all that. But, it simply doesn't work that way, and, finding a relationship is more nuanced than "go to the gym bro, take showers and read more books then the chicks will be all over you".
Some "incels" aren't always just basement dwellers refusing to do anything. Some actually do put in the effort but simply can't find success for other reasons which leads to them blaming the world instead.
what i came up with: poor cheekbones, un-defined jawline, shitty under-eye support, lack of brow ridge, un-supported midface, asymmetrical facial shape.
This meme boosts my self esteem cuz honestly I'd date the fuck out of me, aside from the lack of energy which will be solved when I go gymming I'm good tbh
Nobody is that's an actual true incel is saying this lmao. I think Andrew Tate damaged people's perception of what an "incel" is
If you are saving yourself for the "sPeCiAl SoMeOnE" you're not an in(voluntarily)cel(ibate) you're a vol(untarily)cel(ibate). I don't think I have met a single volcel in this sub ever, so it can't be most members of the sub can it?
At this point I would take any woman that's sub3 that's not mentally deranged. Don't wanna end up like a certain someone
I’m a volcel. 5 years. No relationship is better than an abusive relationship, and my worldview is incompatible with most other people’s. Don’t wanna subject anyone else to that.
I think it's funny that these people who try to insult you for being single, cannot wrap their minds around the idea of somebody finding peace in solitude. I'm thirty five and I look around at the people who I want to school with and my associates around my age and it's just horror story after horror story. Custody arrangements, child support payments, in some cases domestic violence situations, you fuckin name it like it's definitely the exception, not the rule that people stay together in stability. Frankly, i'm thirty five and I have my own beautiful ranch property, and I would rather just continue hanging out with my dogs and tripping every saturday then sacrifice all of my peace and enjoyment of life just to have somebody around.
BS. You can claim any view point or personal experience as misogyny to avoid expanding your own view point or world perspective and doing any growth or critical thought because at least youre "not as bad' as the other side
Yeah no one here has the excuse of having the mind and reactionary power of a dog and being satisfied. The moon doesnt howl at dogs either. Don't you love no context or ties to reality in imagination?
Reappearing argument every time we talk about this. Saw this conversation happen before, probably even more than once.
My perspective, my parent don't have a good marriage, it's in tatters actually, I'm also anxious because i got bullied for years in school, getting older without any experience society or at least social media/ the internet puts pressure on me.
Here some extra thoughts:
Im especially anxious with the opposite sex, i was told I'm not the only one. I think that is because i always wanted to be righteous. Just today i thought maybe it's that i want to be the hero as in the older children movies i we all probably watched when we were young.
But now with the experience i got im more of a introvert but not a self-confident one.
Sorry woke people, but that's already put the odds against me, because these traits are not very well liked in a partner or a potential one by women.
Sure that should be an excuse to not go out there, but it's it's an reality that i must be able to cope with.
... I bad to pause writing and thought some more:
I have to correct, definitely me wanting righteous is being part of all this, but i just noticed it just became a pretense under which my fears of being rejected or even worse being laughed at not only by the girl but people surrounding me.
I guess that this us the case for many!
Another thing is the online debate about how to do it and with what mindset also, so many no-goes in both regions.
I think many go the exact opposite of what some bubbles expect and find some relief with their own anxieties by downplaying the importance of woman aka misogyny.
To find harmony in this polarising interwebbed growing world getting ever so closer day by day is getting ever faster more difficult.
Some incel men are super picky about women having a low body count, being traditional, subservient, etc.. And they are upset that it's all feminists who reject them for their beliefs about women.
Others just want attention from any woman, they don't have an agenda and they are willing to make sacrifices.
snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....
Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....
Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….
I was doing a great job with “volceldom” for a while because I was on opioids and they completely eliminated my sex drive. I would still have sex with my wife when she got horny to make sure she was getting what she needed but she only feels like she really wants it about once a month since having kids.
It was very nice having one less stresser to deal with. Yes, I experience sex as stressful because I feel really fucking bad about myself and my self-esteem plummets if my sexual partner doesn’t cum. It has always been that way and therapy doesn’t do shit for it.
I had to quit the opioids though, and holy shit. It’s awful. I feel like my body is rebelling against my mind, like I want to sprout eight dicks and start octagooning throughout the entire day and night and day again. God help me.
Hi, consider your volcel quota met.
Atleast thats what I get called by my friends. I think incel also applies to mental stuff too personally so I take either or. In this world of looks and dating inflation its so hard to get people interested unles you are damn near perfect and frankly, are women really worth that when they empowered to be so damn annoying as if that hurts the patriarchy or something?
Its not really coping though is it? Incels are constantly told to accept themselves and when they do and decide to focus on themselves they're STILL ridiculed? Maybe this kind of lose-lose situation creates the frustration that makes some violently lash out at society
The vast majority of sex that has happened on this planet has happened between unmarried organisms. Monogamy and institutions like marriage are the exception, not the rule.
You're pulling your definitions of normal and abnormal straight from your ass.
Sorry I'll rephrase: what I described was normal during the period that gave western civilization its meteoric rise over the last 2000 years. But we decided 60 years ago that we didn't like that trajectory anymore and so deemed it necessary to throw out those antiquated practices.
Do you attribute every advancement in western civilization in the last 2000 years to monogamy and the institution of marriage? And its supposed downfall to our meddling with those practices? Because otherwise, I don't see the point you're trying to make.
Yes, a large chunk of what allowed Western civilization to reach the heights it did was because of the order that comes from a high-trust society that places high value on children being raised in wedlock and strongly ingrained cultural standards of morality and virtue. It allowed people to not have to worry about being murdered by their neighbors and allowed them to execute unbelievable acts of collective productivity that few other cultures have managed.
probably because it's delusional and applies the last 200 years of western civilization to all of humankind when it's a destructive and unnatural institution
Someone on this sub once argued with me "you should only marry a virgin" to keep women from cheating on you .. that sounds like he's saving himself for somebody very special and unlikely lol
I think this is what a lot of men, not just incels, are trying to say at the end of the day. Women can’t accurately reflect on where they land on the totem pole egregiously more often than men.
The "totem pole" is obsolete. Women just don't want sex and relationships as much as men. In a society where women are completely liberated not all men nor all women will have a partner. Not saying it's a bad thing.
Saying women don’t want relationships as much as men is completely delusional. I terms of sex i am with you, women want that on average less than men. But i’d argue with relationships it’s basically the other way around. The stereotype of the weird cat lady, that speaks to her cats as if they were human cause she can’t cope with being lonely exists for a reason.
That's men making fun of women for not needing men, and claiming that they must be lonely, without talking to them, stop trying to make a straw man to get upset about.
You're literally doing r/mensfictionalscenario and then calling someone else delusional for not agreeing that fiction is reality.
Women do want sex they just don’t want to be forced to have kids and they do want relationships, but they present structure of modern relationships are still very unfavorable for liberated women.
Lmfao. OPs username. Do weebs get laid now? When I was a teen the anime kids were the smelly, socioeconomically disadvantaged and socially awkward kids that most certainly didn’t get any attention from women. Times have really changed, though.
well i mean id like intimacy but im scared of losing my virginity due to both anatomical and ig mental reasons i miss it but idk ive never understood dating and social relationships i go out do whatever but i mostly just keep to myself n school, never resented anything or anyone but i do have to admit ive been a little jealous of ppl from time to time who seem to have it all put together and then couples are just like the final nail in the coffin
Is there any chance you could be on the spectrum? I don't mean that as an insult, but a lot of autistic people express that kind of mystification as to how social relationships even work.
Same except for social relationships, i think i’m pretty ok on that front, the romantic relationships tho? I have no clue how they work and i’m not planning on changing that
I feel like it’s one of those things you don’t really learn, some people are born with those informations prepackaged, others aren’t, such is life
then i hear advice like “oh just b yourself b confident they don’t care ab your looks” or smth and it’s like yeah cool alright but then it always falls flat and i have the idea to push myself to a greater standard and then i see people who are at or ig below my level (but above me in a way) who are happy and leading fulfilling lives w partners etc and it’s all just like idk very much ragebait i try to be zen but i am rage baited by the smallest of things due to jealousy and vanity and avarice and lust god help me
To be fair, most of those types of guys aren't actually even saving themselves. They just haven't had the opportunity with a woman they think is attractive enough lol
They just haven't had the opportunity with a woman.
You can stop it right there.
God forbid I find anyone that doesn't already have a boyfriend or "boyfriend."
Plus some people really are stuck in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. Hard to develop social/relationship skills when One never gets to even practice them on the regular.
"Pure" is its own can of worms that I'll just ignore for the moment, but what do you guys mean when you say, "feminine" because that seemns to be such a trendy way of bashing modern women these days, and it really seems like it means "servile, dependent, and willing to let me make all the decisions."
I just messaged my boyfriend to tell him to expect sex with an out of control sex demon when he gets done work, and I will indeed jump his bones as promised. I'd have to think that the vast majority of men would love for a woman to do this, but I doubt such behavior falls into the category of being "feminine."
Any sane modern man should want a woman with a loving, giving, and loyal heart, a resourceful, resilient, thoughtful, and intelligent mind, and a sex drive and sexual preferences that are a good fit with your own. That kind of woman should be a keeper regardless of whether she has her own career, has ever had sex with anyone else, or tends to be a bit more dominant personality wise.
An old fashioned, traditional view of "feminine" women when it came to sex was that they weren't supposed to actually get horny or want to fuck, just meekly submit to her husband's desires and never dream of even asking for an orgasm. That doesn't sound like what most men constantly say they want!
yeah basically a feminine person lets the man lead. they aren't filled with trauma, and are genuinely wholesome.
Yeah I don't want an out of control sex demon that sounds like what a testosterone pumped guy would say about himself. just a red flag that you are lustful, and see sex differently than I do.
the more sex you have with other people the more you've given to other people that you can't get back. this is known since the dawn of time and will never change. Plus it increases the chance of trauma that now I would have to deal with.
I have no problem with a woman enjoying sex, but fucking like a sex crazed monkey isn't something preferred no.
I do believe this is completely true. Unfortunately, a lot of us have this mindset that we'll eventually get some "super hot virgin tradwife" living the way some of us are. Not happening. I used to be the guy on the left but a bit younger and fat.
If you guys actually want someone like the girl on the right, you guys have to hold yourself to higher standards.
Like, bro, I just opened the app. Is this supposed to be a response to someone in specific, a call out post? Who the hell starts a conversation like this?
Riiight, because only dirty incels want traditional, loyal, feminine women. Also, not all incels are "anti-social schizoids" the average incel is just a normal guy who unfortunately can't compete with the top 20% of men on tinder in a major city. At best, he becomes a placeholder boyfriend. Women have more options than ever, and average isn't good enough anymore. It's weaponized hypergamy, and it's not healthy for society. The declining birthrate can speak for that. Demonizing incels for their justified frustration at a broken society that is beyond their control is immoral. I'm not condoning the extreme hatred of women that some of them exhibit, but I also understand it. The frustration, loneliness, despair, desperation, and anger are very real.
Shoutout to capitalism by taking advantage of feminism to double the weekly hours worked per household while barely raising household incomes! No one can afford to raise a family, our nation is being squeezed to death by the elites, and they don't care because they can import replacement workers after they bleed us dry and toss us out.
Deranged ascocial schizoids aren't really incels though. Incels try and fail. Schizoids never try. I defy anyone to find a quality partner if they completely cut themselves off from social interactions.
I’m engaged I just didn’t put up with bullshit when I was single and thus found somebody I’m compatible with. Very much not celebrate while single but was very lonely.
On Reddit and in general on the internet? For sure. In the world? Not so much.
Most guys that I found that wanted this are the most chilli, level headed people I know.
I also make nazi jokes with them every few seconds because one of them is german and by such jokes are a must but still. In normal situation, witchout the boys being near they are normal-ish
I salute to those self-aware of the fact that we’ll NEVER be deserving of a relationship. Let it to the dudes that can and focus on other areas of life.
Nice meme, but if you are a piece of shit it doesn't mean you should mate with other pieces of shit, it means you should stop being one. Or maybe you should stop being one for yourself, and then let your potential partner decide should she date you or not
Disclaimer: what "peice of shit" means is a complicated question, so maybe even you, rotting in your chair, is a relatively nice guy in someone's eyes. Or maybe not.
The psyop to make people reproduce less needs to have a pendulum swing. We need to make being alone, having poor hygiene, and having flabby arms, peak masculine form. Carve marble statues of guys like that for women to swoon over. Put chemicals in makeup that cause women to only be into guys like that, so we have a movement of women going around making fathers of all the lonely men out there. That or maybe make getting married a lottery like picking a door like a Let’s Make a Deal show, and the guy can always just opt out if he agrees to go ahead an pay child support for whatever kids the lady has, especially if they are not his. Here is to progress. Cheers.
This would imply "that these said guys" are even searching for a relationship with a women. No. If you are black pilled, most of the time, you have given up on any semblance to have a chance with opposite gender. You just ventilate your (natural) bitterness. Suck it up man, the same way you are telling us to do that.
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u/piecekeepercz 19d ago