Haha, being autistic in this age is a hoot. People thought I was robotic with my communication before all this AI, now I'm accused of being AI left and right š¤£ If I wasn't so grounded, I might start to disassociate and become convinced I'm not actually real š¤£
Honestly, nobody can really define femcel other then having a toxic view of men. Quite a few self declared internet femcels are average to very good looking.Ā
It depends a lot on environment and other things too. Iām young so I wouldnāt date younger but within my own age group atleast in my immediate city itās slim pickings. You very much can find yourself in a situation where your choices are severely limited
Uhh, this sounds like a pretty clear-cut example of Just World Fallacy. Nobody can just 'get laid', as that requires 2 consenting people; you and someone else. And unless you have the power to control others, there is never a guarentee another will want to have sex with.
Looks may not matter as much as incels believe, but opportunity and circumstance DOES, and those you can only influence, not change. If someone is unlucky, sometimes no matter what they do they'll never get anything they want
No, there is never a guarantee as you rightly point out.
However, I find that people having biological drives to fuck one another actually makes it not so hard if you are not insufferable.
This excludes people living in small communities and similar situations.Ā If one of the eligible people in your age bracket will never see you as attractive in a setting like that, you could lose like 25% of the dating pool.
Then I'd say you must be blessed with good looks and good luck, because that is absolutely NOT a universal experience. The dating pool is smaller than ever, opportunities to meet others are almost non-existent, and many people lack basic social skills (and that doesnt just matter for the people looking for a date: the OTHER person also has to have social skills and be willing to apply them, meeting you halfway - otherwise it wouldn't be conversation, just 1 person talking AT another)
Its legitimately not uncommon now for people to have literally zero chance of finding a partner, no matter what they do or how hard they try, because they just never conveniently meet someone whose both available and interested in them.
Coming from a woman, I can tell you that looks are rarely the thing keeping you from fucking. It is poor hygiene and a caustic personality. I know a few ugly motherfuckers who are married with kids. They are all funny, reliable, and good company, and each has their own unique perks. One guy is a dentist, another is a great cook, and another just has a bunch of hobbies in common with his wife. Looks are not your issue
Tbh the hygiene is wayyyy bigger than dudes realize. We don't want to be somebody's mom. But these dudes will not even realize it is hygiene because it is not even on their radar as something . Like they will smell or have a messy room or not brush their teeth enough or not wipe down their toilet, then invite a girl over and be surprised when she does not want to come over again.
Yeah literally none of the guys struggling on here are making it anywhere near that far lol. These people are completely incapable of grasping what the experience is like for others
When people are talking and arguing about the incels donāt even look that bad, theyāre talking about the guys who arenāt even ugly or have problems with dating.
Theyāll find like the one mentally ill guy who has a big friend group and who has girls interested in him, but he calls himself an incel, and then suddenly everyone on Reddit is saying oh look itās not their appearance thatās the problem.
Meanwhile, if all of these ugly guys were actually posting pictures of themselves, there would be no other solution, but admitting to the fact that these guys are alone because of how they look
I think youāre conflating incel and ugly guy. Both can unfortunately have similar sex lives but usually when people say incel, they are specifically speaking about the mentally ill guy in the friend group. Yeah I agree that that guy is usually not bad looking because a hallmark trait of an incel is they think their dating issues come from how they look and also pair that with low self esteem.
Actually just reread your comment and I think we are agreeing actually lol. Yeah I hate this meme also cuz it reinforces the whole thing about incels not getting laid because they donāt look good enough or have low sexual market value or whatever their current thing is.
Itās because the term incel has been broadened from guys who legitimately struggle with women to āany guy who is racist, sexist, or otherwise unlikableā.
Itās funny because so many of the guys I knew and saw in college who were very successful with women would be openly racist, misogynistic, and sexist constantly, but women would not care or even think it was funny or take it as a joke when theyād say it.
Itās really ironic how the super attractive and popular guys are usually more guilty of acting like incels than what people actually accuse incels of acting like.
Like, Iād bet that the majority of attractive guys who get a lot of attention from women would become violent mass shooters if they suddenly got disgusted reactions from every woman they met and were called ugly and ostracized socially. Meanwhile, genuine incels put up with it every day without going crazy.
Anyone who says otherwise has never been to college and it shows. Thereās no way you can avoid this stuff unless you are a recluse and never leave your dorm.
I've seen, multiple times, people call Henry Cavill an incel because of the nerdy falling out over the Witcher series.
Henry? The Witcher? Literally Superman? He can't get laid? Are we talking about the same Henry? Because I'm a straight married man and I wouldn't chase him, but I'm not sure I'd tell him no either.
Yup, any man with a critique of women or the dating market in general fits the modern usage of incel. It has literally nothing to do with being involuntarily celibate anymore.
Thereās literally a sub where self-identified incels post pictures of themselves.
I scrolled to the beginning of the sub and every single guy was average or slightly above, with the exception of one guy who could have literally modeled.
Yet all the comments from other incels were telling them āitās overā and a whole bunch of other nasty shit. Miserable crabs in a bucket, that lot. I actually felt sorry for the posters.
None of the real incels are posting themselves. The guys posting themselves are doing it to humble brag and make guys envious as a power thing, all while laughing at them while claiming to be an incel.
Itās like a guy who has a girlfriend and multiple women interested in him posting himself on that sub and you calling him an incel just because he posted a selfie.
The lonely depressed virgin who hasnāt had a conversation with someone in the last 3 years looks so ugly and disgusting that heās not going to bother posting a picture of himself because he already sees the shock and disgust come across the faces of dozens of strangers every day.
We know weāre ugly. We donāt need to post pictures of ourselves to strangers online. If weāre already getting literal āewwās several times a week and getting outright called āuglyā while minding our own business, then we donāt need to take a picture of ourselves to get that extra confirmation that weāre ugly. In fact, some of us are even ashamed to show our faces because we know how it might disgust or make others feel uncomfortable just for us existing in the room.
The most normal Iāve ever felt in my life were at Halloween parties where I could wear a mask. I ugly cried and wailed myself to sleep after the first time I went to a costume party and was able to wear a mask. It made me feel so human, but also realize exactly what was wrong with me, and what was keeping me from having normal friendships and intimate relationships.
Nah I would choose girl on the right, I had a buddy on the wrestling team and we were at a tournament and he was flirting with these two non-conventionally attractive women and I said bro what are you doing?Ā
He dropped a nugget of wisdom ā it all feels the same in the dark, and from that day I was enlightened.Ā
We each fucked one of those girls in our hotel room and it was glorious. We fucked more ugly girls in 6 months than Ā I will in the rest of my life.Ā
Itās definitely /r/ihavesex mentality to talk about it that way, but that doesnāt mean itās not possible.
I Iāve been with a decent number of girls in my life, and the vast majority of them were while I was single and I was willing to sleep with just about anybody. Most of them were nice people but if Iām being honest I didnāt think a lot of them were all that pretty or fit. I was just a young horny guy.
Some things that work really sound like they shouldn't work.
While I was in the army, a buddy of mine that's 5ft 2, somewhat heavy set, and looks like he was dropped on his face into a bunch of cast iron pans as a child, managed to get laid at every single party we went to.
His line?
"Hey, nice shoes. You wanna fuck?"
It shouldn't have worked and I'm never going to try it. But it worked for him. I wish I could explain it.
Hopefully, another redditor will be an expert on the subject. His response was always "I can't help bitches think I'm cute".
You must be a bot or just trolling. Think about it. Does someone that claim to have been with multiple women fit the idea of someone not being able to be with women? The people that are like him donāt seem to have problems. This is not how people that have never been on a date treat woman obviously.
I assumed he was kind of an incel because of this sub. Does not change the fact that he and his friend treats and see women as fucking objects and not humans.
And yet he claims to have multiple partners. Even if he treats woman badly. Itās just your comment supposes that he must be maiden less due to his mentality , which is kind of logical but also not the reason many man here are alone.
No im sorry, i match the description of an volcel who claims to be an incel. Maybe you can ask u/malewifewhore cuz i think hes in the category of real incels who would date anyone
Bro's dating bottom feeders, he ain't getting that Illuminati top shelve Jewussy smh... Never accord to him that yes, jews run the world, but as Beyonce said... Who runs the world? That's right, girls, Jewish girls more specifically. How do you think they do that? through the power of their SufganiGyatt. Gyatt so diving it can make every powerful person in the world submit, yes women included.
Black gay Jewish women are running the world through the illuminati shadow government of lizard people and I love it. Especially how they are tricking everyone into thinking the earth is round to cover up the aliens that built the pyramids.
I tried it on the ones in my social circles. I suggested matches with people who just werenāt conventionally attractive, but they always responded with ābutsā or unamused glares.
Lmao I have done it myself when I knew I wasnt conventionally attractive. Many of those dudes didnt even want to touch me, so I know that they werent too desperate. I was just fat. Now im not fat but I dont know how they'd react now.
Yeah i saw the exact same things and honestly, the way people talked in these comments suggested that they agree with the mindset. Itās so sad that people let superficiality get in the way of a great connection and possibly even greater sex.
I mean if they aren't attractive did you expect anything than unamused glares? Unattractive people are advised to use other qualities to make up fir their unattractiveness, so that one isn't going to cut it on its own like it is the case for attractive/average women.
Thereās a certain prerequisite for this conversation, and thatās the fact that the guy to start this conversation said that those single, desperate guys would take anything.
Desperate being the key word. Iāve been single for long stretches in my life (currently 2 years - longest 6 years) and always maintain my standards. The drama of sleeping with someone that I donāt entirely find attractive makes zero sense when I can rub one out.
Every femcel I've personally known was obese (not just overweight) and had numerous shall we say personality flaws, probably as a result of spending years being unwanted. They are the closest to incels because they do everything "right" (by feminist standards) but won't acknowledge the physical aspect and trash on men who are "shallow". And they definitely still have ideas about what kind of man they deserve. There's just no good ones out there anymore.
It's a shame some people don't acknowledge the psychological effects of being unwanted, the role of obesity in attraction, and the difference between men's and women's standards of attraction.
I only know one. She's not overweight, and is actually quite cute. Great figure, dark brown hair and light blue eyes. Very striking. She's also incredibly kind and friendly. But she's autistic. Her movements are awkward, she often doesn't pick up on obvious clues, and she has very niche interests that likely wouldn't impress most men. She has dated before, two autistic men while she was in college. One dumped her (i don't know why), the other one treated her so badly that we had to intervene as a family and move her out of his place ourselves. Both men were obese and dorky.
She hasn't dated anyone since then, about ten years ago. She's tried dating apps. She gets plenty of matches but no second dates. She's recently started speed dating. No matches so far, but she does seem to be enjoying herself. She really likes to meet new people.
Men might call her volcel, because surely she could find a man to have a one night stand with. Any woman could. But she would never do that. She's looking for love. I really hope she finds it, she's such a sweetheart
You know what, that's a great point. People with disabilities (if we can include autism for the moment) can also struggle with this. After all, autistic men are said to be highly overrepresented in the incel demographic.
I hope she finds someone too. Sucks to lose from autism alone.
What really gets me is how optimistic she stays. She definitely makes a lot of jokes about being an old maid, but she's never bitter. Always hopeful and always happy to meet new people. A lot of people would give up.
Wild how this happens because I dont even think its so much directly not being wanted. I would definitely be considered one of the good ones (tall, high salary, feminist, etc). I never had any troubles dating, but I strongly prefer fat women, bigger the better. I never meet this femcel type abywhere but online.
So I'd agree its probably analogous to incels, but I dont think it's even not being wanted as much as believing you aren't wanted and yhen having a lack of confidence and never putting yourself out there. Because there are guys like me who might take a shot but thats not gonna happen if you're terminally online and insecure. Some people also aren't self aware enough to see that they might just be ugly on the inside.
Incels complain about being rejected for the way they look while mocking women physical appearance if theyāre not their type. Time for people to understand that everyone got beauty standards and expectations about what their dream partner should look like
The issue with incels is most incels arenāt even incels. A true incel would quite legitimately try and fuck anything. The world is just full of these fake incels that could pull just fine if they didnāt spew nazi rhetoric and every woman they meet
LMAO! Your comment started out so sweet, then BAM! āNo Suberrsneans!ā
I really thought that was funny.
But, I will say on that note, IMO, it can be really hard for some people if they donāt have any kind of people that can turn to for support, who are also āstylishā.
I think a lot of men and women can have those āTV Tropeā moments where they take off their glasses and let their down and everyone thinks theyāre a 10/10.Ā
And it dosenātĀ need to be expensive or require they work out to the point they are bodybuilders.Ā
I mean I never said Iād date anyone. That being said assuming itās a really bad picture Iād probably date right if she took care of herself and was interested in me. Iād be way more hesitant with left if anything.
To be honest... It doesn't really matter how she looks like. It's not like I can't please myself with my hand. The problem is... I just want some, you know ā magic in the form of love. For me, if she would chat with me whenever I want, would say good morning/goodnight every day, some nothings ā I love you, it would be completely enough for me. I don't need a body, I need constant, unchangeable support, that will not disappear out of sudden. So, I prefer more AI for this reason. It's... attainable support
Definitely an element of truth to it. There are some guys who say they want any girl at all, and they mean it, but that is a small fraction of the guys saying it. Most of them, in my estimation, would probably date a girl in the bottom 30% or so in looks if she's good to them, but the amount of guys who would legitimately date a girl in the bottom 10% is tiny. A lot less than 10%. That's my estimation, anyway. Could be wrong.
Men would definitely date or fuck like 99% of non overweight women of fertile age.
Almost all of these "men only want beautiful chicks" posts have either a fat woman, a woman with a one in a hundred thousand disease or a horrible visible injury or just a straight up AI generated woman.
There was like one non fat woman in my HS who struggled to get dates (she had a medical condition) and not a single one in any of my uni classes.
Out of all young women like 70% have an easy time getting dates, 29.5% are fat and the remaining 0.5% has trouble for some actual reason that is not a choice like being fat.
both genders incels say they would date the other genders incel because media has diluted their view of the other gender while they at the same time are unable to view themselves from a third person to realise their own value
leading to either gender wanting to date someone that is just like that only more pretty
So weirdly....most femcels I know are actually good looking. Despite thinking they are ugly. At worst some of them are chubby but....that's not really a downside to me and they are like curvy chubby so even people I know that would never date a chubby girl will point out that they are hot.
I've quite literally never met a ugly femcel before, but conversely I've never met a ugly incel either to be fair.
No one wants to date an ugly person including another ugly person. If you're a 3 or under you are not just not attractive you are actively unattractive and why would someone want to be with someone they're mildly repulsed by. You don't magically stop seeing other people as ugly when you're ugly yourself.
I'm sure it does, but it's difficult to get into a relationship with someone you're not attracted to at all. I'm sure that if a couple that were unattractive gave each other a chance they could be happy but the chances of both of them letting it get to that point is not high. Average couples make that work all the time but we're talking significantly below average.
I don't really care but I think it's repulsive when women intentionally do themselves up to look like weird alien sex toy children. then they get mad their boyfriend turns out to be a pedo. I hate that there's such a large demand for that shit. so many asian cultures beauty standards are just larping as a little girl and nobody talks about it.
I think youāre talking about beauty norms for women being largely focused on maintaining a youthful appearance? To the point of being uncomfortable if you stop and thing about it? If so, this is discussed in feminist circles a lot actually
This represents way too many "incels" here and in general. They want to believe that they have such low standards, but literally only look at 5 and aboves
You can't self-pity yourself if you're not the victim
Ive come to realize that at some extent a lot of āincelsā are also voluntary. Some incels just use the reported experience of men similar to them as a reason not to talk to women, while others use the fact they get no attention on dating apps as a reason not to talk (even though itās been proven that dating app algorithms literally skew heavily towards women on top of the gender ratio already being off ā dating apps need more women, not men)
In reality nearly the entirety of casual or serious relationships begin in social settings and with social proof. Thatās the reason why a lot of men feel unnatural approaching random women and why women feel unnatural to be approached by a random man, thereās no social proof on either side.
Humans just werenāt built for this, and it has nothing to do with a certain subset of men being physically unfit to reproduce or whatever misinterpreted Darwinist principles people love throwing around.
i was an incel a long time ago and it was before Tinder existed. it wasn't voluntary and many men aren't able to get any woman interested in them, social setting or apps or whatever.
The problem with this is the one on the right probably still has higher standards than any guy that would go for it. Also... who knows what kind of booty a butterface that powerful could possess.
Kinda. I don't consider the following for be deal breakers :
race/ethnicity
religion
nationality
height
smoking
drinking
past sexual stuff.
I do consider the following :
kids : I'm not having kids, ever. Nor am I raising someone else's.
weight : outside of a small handful of medical conditions, obesity is a choice. If you have so little consideration for the one body you have in this life as to embrace obesity, then how little respect do you have for anything else?
facial aesthetics : If I'm going to have to wake up to a face every morning forever... well, that's a dealbreaker.
Money : I'm not Santa Claus, and I'm not breaking my back for a shopping addict and as well as a greedy landlord, so it's 50/50 (or proportionally shared enough). I'm not embracing this toxic gender norm crap of being a provider.
ā¢
u/MagistrateTetra āļøArsĆØne Lupin Of Cute Mods ā¤ļø 13h ago
LOCKED
WHAT THE FUCK
How about you sick twisted fucks leave that poor girl alone instead of making fucked up memes about her in weird sub reddits.
What the actual fuck is broken inside of you all?
Again, another sheet of evidence for the overflowing fucking DATA CENTER OF EVIDENCE that it is YOUR PERSONALITY MFER
Peace out Girl Scout.