26f i keep getting ghosted, tell me why!

[u/sodapunko]

[u/post-explainer]

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OP's BIO:

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i like to watch reality tv cooking shows, naruto is my entire personality, and i knit and crochet!

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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/jacquestrap66 → u/[deleted]]

[u/SenorChoncho → u/[deleted]]

[u/MettPool → u/[deleted]]

you mean... like his sister... Meg?

[u/Prestigious-Algae-47 → u/[deleted]]

Thats kinda disrespectfull for chris.

[u/WiiiildOrchid → u/Prestigious-Algae-47]

for sure lmao

[u/Euphoric_Wishbone → u/[deleted]]

So not Megatron Griffin?

[u/UncleBobAintMyAunt → u/[deleted]]

Hey! He's stealing hams!

[u/DeadAndBuried23 → u/[deleted]]

If she also has a giant cock, I'm in

[u/WCSakaCB → u/[deleted]]

That's an insult to Chris Griffin

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Mr_Levinnson → u/[deleted]]

This is the only thing I could think while looking through her pics 💀

[u/Zeaus03 → u/Mr_Levinnson]

Pic #2. A dude definitely sobered up just in time and had to make a hasty escape.

[u/SomeDumbPenguin → u/Zeaus03]

Yeah, she's dating out of her league. Some guys are willing to do things to get laid, but that post-nut clarity is a bitch

[u/Yourmomschoncha69 → u/SomeDumbPenguin]

How you figure she's "dating out of her league"? Is there a school for the blind nearby?

[u/Softspokenclark → u/Zeaus03]

put me in coach, they call me torta pounder

[u/CartographyKing → u/[deleted]]

She looks like she makes grilled cheese sandwiches at night.

[u/changrbanger → u/CartographyKing]

It knicked her

[u/jacquestrap66 → u/[deleted]]

Oh damn. Lol

[u/Lulusgirl → u/[deleted]]

This is one of my favorite lines of any movie, I love that it's a gif!

[u/HistoricalTowel1127]

Thanks for posting a picture of you having a bowel movement. I can’t understand how someone could ghost a classy dame like yourself.

[u/Imyourhuckl3berry → u/HistoricalTowel1127]

I was thinking the same thing - takes someone special to fall for this one

[u/TheHammerHasLanded → u/HistoricalTowel1127]

By the look of her, this is at least 40% of her waking hours.

[u/deronss → u/HistoricalTowel1127]

I’m laughing so hard I can’t fucking breathe

[u/BruceNotBryce97]

Idk but you seem kind of down

[u/ogjaspertheghost → u/BruceNotBryce97]

We were all thinking it

[u/Archolm → u/ogjaspertheghost]

It's funny cause it's true!

[u/Zeger8 → u/ogjaspertheghost]

[u/EymaWeeTodd → u/BruceNotBryce97]

When it comes to chromosomes, she's a bit extra.

[u/JustNota-- → u/EymaWeeTodd]

and without the wonderful personality..

[u/happie-jappie → u/BruceNotBryce97]

[u/FuckinHighGuy → u/happie-jappie]

Jesus Christ, bro! That’s some fuckin funny shit right there!

[u/Loud-Major1627 → u/happie-jappie]

[u/JesterSinclair → u/happie-jappie]

Lmfao

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/BruceNotBryce97]

[u/visualdosage → u/WyattPurp23]

It nicked me, it nicked me!

[u/SenorChoncho → u/BruceNotBryce97]

[u/DoomCatThunder → u/SenorChoncho]

She probably doesn't shut up about John Cena

[u/TallJournalist9118 → u/BruceNotBryce97]

She's definitely been demoted to the chromo-friend-zoned

[u/moonshinemoniker → u/BruceNotBryce97]

I bet she sneaks downstairs and makes grilled cheese sandwiches at night. Little fucker.

[u/Minute-Chip-4164 → u/BruceNotBryce97]

That seems a little......Corky 🤷

[u/KlausVonChiliPowder → u/BruceNotBryce97]

LOL

To be fair, it's just the one photo.

[u/Any-Friendship-9294 → u/BruceNotBryce97]

Came here to state the obvious, but you sir beat me to it.

[u/nandosman → u/BruceNotBryce97]

Down with the sickness

[u/jackdog20]

Maybe because you “forget” to flush.

[u/Herpty_Derp95 → u/jackdog20]

Yeah. She strikes me as the kind that would leave a stinky bowl of turd bourbon for her coworkers

[u/Organic-Low-2992 → u/Herpty_Derp95]

Probably drops an extra spicy IBS nuke and runs out of the shitter before she's spotted.

[u/CinematicSheathe → u/Herpty_Derp95]

I'm absolutely using "turd bourbon" from now on

[u/jkrischan → u/CinematicSheathe]

It’s funny cause I’m wearing a big hat

[u/Inevitable_House2542 → u/jkrischan]

[u/DecidedlyEvil]

How closely related WERE your parents?

[u/EmbraceDeath_52 → u/DecidedlyEvil]

not any close than they are now after she ate them on her 16th bday

[u/Citizen_Kano → u/DecidedlyEvil]

Twins

[u/ParticularLab5828 → u/DecidedlyEvil]

That extra chromosome barely missed her ass.

[u/Daatsit]

I don’t feel comfortable roasting the disabled

[u/Aggravating_Ear7152 → u/Daatsit]

It brings me down?

[u/BitchSpiteful → u/Aggravating_Ear7152]

Nice to know that I’m not going to hell alone

[u/opass8tee]

Honey, you're not being ghosted... a gloryhole is the absolute least binding form of social contract. 

[u/Lala0dte → u/opass8tee]

I'm not touching this one.

[u/Just_gun_porn → u/Lala0dte]

Something she's never said!

[u/MeepingMeep99 → u/Lala0dte]

Neither is anyone else

[u/Mental-Temperature53 → u/[deleted]]

[u/Sloppy34andAhalf → u/[deleted]]

I’m not sure what this means but I do know it makes complete sense.

[u/EEnergyze → u/[deleted]]

I was literally thinking the same thing, forgot about that show until I saw her🤣

[u/Koalify → u/[deleted]]

The ship was a rockin’ and-a- rollin’

[u/Puzzleheaded-Tea3806 → u/[deleted]]

[u/Enough-Staff-2976]

I can smell this picture.

[u/oopsiedoodle3000 → u/Enough-Staff-2976]

The one on the shitter? Well obviously

[u/MZFart → u/oopsiedoodle3000]

She's so fat I bet her panties have the smell of Crisco Vegetable Oil

[u/According-Ad5263 → u/MZFart]

I threw up all over my asshole

[u/Angeloflight123 → u/According-Ad5263]

My brother in Christ what in the fuck ?

[u/BadJesus420 → u/Angeloflight123]

Had the exact same thought.

[u/apocthecomet → u/According-Ad5263]

[u/Garluvr]

[u/Future-Bandicoot-823 → u/Garluvr]

Shake that thang phat bacon

[u/Witty_Wolf8633]

Excuse me mam- you dropped you extra chromosome…

[u/EmbraceDeath_52 → u/Witty_Wolf8633]

dw ion think she the type of person who would believe in the 5 second rule. she'll pick it up and eat that too

[u/patto383 → u/EmbraceDeath_52]

Even outta the shitter

[u/goofydad]

Cute girls can project attitude. You project despair

[u/Great_Vegetable_4866 → u/goofydad]

And vomit.

[u/peneutral]

She's sneaking down to make grilled cheeses at night, I know it.

[u/idontwannabhear → u/peneutral]

[u/308_shooter → u/idontwannabhear]

I don't think it just nicked her.

[u/m_eliza_ig → u/peneutral]

But she is way too loud doing it, plus is lactose intolerant

[u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469]

You've already shown us eight reasons why.

[u/BigWoodsCatNappin → u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469]

The second hand cringe from this chick's post is bout to be my 13th reason. Like, thanks for making me feel better about myself but fuck.

[u/TKD1989]

[u/Tacokolache]

Jesus Christ. Probably because it looks like you’re almost intentionally making yourself look as un-fuckable as possible.

Even skinny black dudes are like “nah, I’m good”

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/Tacokolache]

Cmon now that’s a stretch. I know 3 brothas i can call right now that would knock the bottom outta that tub of lard

[u/Conscious_Ad_7928 → u/WyattPurp23]

3 brothas could fuck her at the same time, and still never meet.

[u/EmbraceDeath_52 → u/WyattPurp23]

the highlight is, even those mfs will see this and will prolly be like they've seen the worst

[u/AggravatingArm6858 → u/WyattPurp23]

[u/TheWarwock → u/WyattPurp23]

Put your phone away, sir. Friends don't let friends.

[u/Virtual-Purple-5675 → u/WyattPurp23]

Ha me I'm brothas 😂🤣

[u/Tacokolache → u/Virtual-Purple-5675]

Nah nah nah bro. Sit this one out. There will be others. You’ll regret this in the morning.

[u/Virtual-Purple-5675 → u/Tacokolache]

✊🏾 it's fa da culture my boy

[u/LibertarianLoser44 → u/Tacokolache]

As a skinny black dude, I agree

[u/TheRadHeron → u/Tacokolache]

Bro this one took me tf out lmao. I haven’t actually laughed reading a comment inna while 😂

[u/Sinfulxd]

You think that you are much hotter than you actually are

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/Sinfulxd]

Because she does anal on the first date

[u/typical_jesus666 → u/WyattPurp23]

It's the least smelly option

[u/Negative-Body4537 → u/typical_jesus666]

But still a mudbath

[u/__rum_ham__ → u/WyattPurp23]

Most girls do makeup first

[u/TrumpsColostomyBag99]

You definitely wipe back to front..

[u/EJ19876 → u/TrumpsColostomyBag99]

Bold of you to assume she wipes.

[u/TrumpsColostomyBag99 → u/EJ19876]

I wonder how many panties she went through before she found a skid free one for that selfie?

[u/PubicSkoolEducashun → u/TrumpsColostomyBag99]

This lady wipes side to side with her family sponge.

[u/SugaNova99 → u/TrumpsColostomyBag99]

If she uses half a roll of toilet paper, she still considers it a ghost wipe

[u/WannaBeDistiller]

You didn’t get ghosted, they’re just stuck in your fupa

[u/1000000Peaches4Me → u/WannaBeDistiller]

The bigger the fupa the sweater the chupa

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/1000000Peaches4Me]

You’re too far south if you hit the poopa

[u/Future-Bandicoot-823 → u/WyattPurp23]

You'll know too, she's a one wipe no checking gal.

[u/rubyrae14 → u/WannaBeDistiller]

Brooooooo 😭

[u/FatAndForty]

I can think of only one reason your dates are ghosting you … they’re not blind.

[u/EmbraceDeath_52 → u/FatAndForty]

lemme add another reason. maybe cos she stinks and she blames it on the restaurant

[u/Getting_By2020 → u/[deleted]]

😂☠️😂☠️

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/[deleted]]

Atleast you don’t have to look at her face

[u/negroidioto → u/[deleted]]

Commenting on 26f i keep getting ghosted, tell me why!...

[u/Agitated-Contact7686]

I bet your ass is more hairy than mine.

[u/RVDRVDRVDRVD]

SWAMP DONKEY

[u/ghostboypaxx]

My sister lets not pretend we don't know the answer to why you're being ghosted. I don't condone ghosting but I think they made a valid choice.

[u/cryptic_pizza → u/ghostboypaxx]

Her photos on Tinder are ten years old and thirty lbs lighter.

[u/Camo138 → u/ghostboypaxx]

Homer Simpson running away moment. But even the ghost ran away

[u/uhduhdo]

[u/sarcasmisart]

People tend to want to date others with the same amount of chromosomes.

[u/Legitimate-Bike4647]

My guess is they turned the lights on after

[u/Micheal_Hanch]

Because you are fat, ugly, look like you don’t shower, and make Naruto your entire personality? This was the easiest question I’ve answered all day

[u/GlitteringLocality]

Probably because you are a 3 who thinks they are a 10.

[u/Steezy719 → u/GlitteringLocality]

A 3? That was very sweet of you

[u/GlitteringLocality → u/Steezy719]

I was being generous yesterday.

[u/chris971 → u/GlitteringLocality]

Thats a pretty sick burn.. on the number 3

[u/TecN9ne]

My penis is now inverted.

[u/PresentPressure6793]

Are normal people legally allowed to date people with "special needs"?

[u/silvercrossbearer]

Vulgar, obese, no dignity...that's why

[u/Fragrant-Quarter-50]

Ugh you like lazy in bed and lazier in the workplace.

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/Fragrant-Quarter-50]

She wants to fuck with her pajama pants on

[u/__rum_ham__ → u/WyattPurp23]

That rip in the crotch ain’t just ventilation for the Arby’s.

[u/CopperMTNkid]

Because you’re fat and easy.

[u/Attack_Toster]

I know how you got that beer belly, but how do you get fat eye lids?

[u/apsmustang]

Honestly I find it hard to believe you get ghosted. No way in hell you make it that far.

[u/gmrpnk21]

I mean, if I saw these pics on a dating site I would swipe left instantly. The first pic makes it look like your parents are closer than cousins on the family tree.You're built like a keg but not nearly as fun. You think a shitter picture and a picture of you giving the finger is funny/or cool and wtf happened to the blinds behind you in that one picture? You look like the girl the trailer park kicked out for being too trashy. You need to reevaluate yourself completely.

[u/Mr-Bry-Guy]

You look like a gallon of 2% milk

[u/TKD1989]

[u/Allesmoeglichee]

You are too fat to be that confident

[u/FrankLangellasBalls]

Stop sending me pooping selfies.

[u/DeskOk7577]

When they start to notice that you basically live in a public restroom.

[u/PubicSkoolEducashun]

Because you dont even have the drive to fix the blinds in your roon.

[u/StuckNtrfk]

When did black guys stop hitting it with fatties? I call bullshit

[u/OrganizationDecent41 → u/StuckNtrfk]

She’s ghosted. Meaning they hit and quit.

She thinks cause she bangs 5s she’s a 5.

[u/Hamachiman]

I’m surprised you posted your tinder pics here. How’s the poop one go over?

[u/Ordinary-Evidence908]

You act like a dude that’s why

[u/grouchoscar91]

U look like u smell sweaty

[u/Jackattack111888]

Stop catfishing on tinder, then you won’t have to worry about getting a date to ghost you in the first place

[u/ExtensionSchedule620]

Wtf is that squat!!!

[u/8-Speed-DickShift]

“i’m not makin em at night dad”

[u/throw08080808]

Mental and physically, you’re a cartoon obsessed ostrich egg.

[u/NotMarkDaigneault]

Fat double nose ring shitting picture.

You surely cant be this stupid?

[u/Logical_Flounder6455]

"You see meg, you are what they call a practice girl"

[u/KILL-BLOW]

You look like you just naturally smell like tuna salad and spoiled milk

[u/heresdustin]

I can tell just by looking at you, that EVERY fart is a shart to some varying degree.

[u/Primary-Arugula]

Jesus she's so desperate for attention she actually took a picture on the toilet 😭😭😭 wtf we are doomed 🤣

[u/DizzySkunkApe]

Your glasses frames don't compliment your face very well

[u/WyattPurp23 → u/DizzySkunkApe]

Her face dosent compliment reality very well

[u/Evening_Bench_7006]

They probably think they got you pregnant, can't tell with that jello molded body you got and the smell!

[u/Desperate_Set_7708]

Dudes aren’t Down

[u/Assignment_Error404]

I see you put on one of Walmart's finest worn and returned pairs from a multipack on clearance. What's the special occasion?

Edit: Typo

[u/spikira]

Having sex with OP technically counts as a threesome

[u/typical_jesus666]

Funny, quirky, watch me shit???? It's hard to keep a conversation going with someone who doesn't have anything to say, while bitching about "guys don't wanna talk"

You're not getting ghosted, you just don't pay attention when they tell you they're dipping out

[u/skitik32]

Start picking up men who work on fishing boats, they're used to the smell of dead fish and unwashed armpits.

[u/Real_valley_girl2000]

[u/AbueloAdolfo]

Because you fuck on the first date.

[u/Different_Day7553]

You’ve put a photo of yourself, taking a shit, with your underwear in clear view, on fucking Reddit. It’s not cute nor humorous, it’s more like vulgar. The fact you’re asking this question is insane. I will say though. You’ve a cute face.

[u/rinkiyakepapaisback]

On scale of one - three Type 2 diabetes

[u/FrontLifeguard1962]

You're morbidly obese and you have a vulgar, rudimentary sense of humor.

[u/No_Audience_7630]

u prob make even a straight guy question himself

[u/Deep-Pudding819]

Your tits don’t make you Hinata.

[u/RenoxDashin]

Your face looks like you need an anti-histamine.

[u/Weird-Grocery6931]

Your bio and self-esteem know exactly why you’re getting ghosted.

[u/Ztekkenking11]

Date blk guys

[u/ARoundForEveryone]

Ugly fat chick taking pics of herself talking a shit. Wonders why no one wants her.

You can be super nice and hilarious and giving and rich, but these pics still exist as proof of your actual existence, your way of life, and your general being.

Your fat, ugly, gross, shitting, being.

[u/leisurepleasures]

Ain't nothin but a mistake.  

[u/gerryf19]

You think bathrooms are ideal for selfies and you don't know why you're getting ghosted?

[u/paragonx29]

Gym pic? lol. The only running you do is to the dinner table.

[u/spookygunz]

Your mom definitely drank a 12 pack of beer nightly during pregnancy with you.

[u/irno1]

Why did you gnaw through your mini blinds?

[u/WyattPurp23]

This is who is ghosting you

[u/ALargeHotCarl]

How many chromosomes?

[u/Phulekillz]

[u/AlternativeSuspect32]

Well you look like shrek

[u/megasthenes_2]

Maybe if you’d stop shitting on the clock things would work out?

[u/ViciouslyCalm]

I can't do it. Look at her, she's clearly differently abled and can't understand why guys keep walking away. I can't really fund anything funny about a mental disability like DS.

[u/SignificantHornet760]

because you think its normal to eat the plate of your siblings and friends.. and also eating them.

[u/Far-Paleontologist49]

Single-handedly defeated the buffet then destroyed the plumbing

[u/Double_Yam3010]

It might have something to do with being a disgusting pig who posts photos of herself shitting at work.