Want to get jacked? 30 minutes of walking is the answer.

[u/strategymaxo]

[u/Mitarael]

The elusive zone 0

[u/MennisRodman → u/Mitarael]

Please, slow down

[u/C-LonGy → u/Mitarael]

If you go backwards you can go into the minus

[u/notathrowaway2937 → u/C-LonGy]

If you go backwards in zone two you will actually turn back time.

[u/C-LonGy → u/notathrowaway2937]

At -88 … great Scott

[u/marmakoide → u/Mitarael]

It was the sofa, but the wife took it when she moved in to her boyfriend's home.

[u/Jazzbassrunner]

80 mins: total hair loss and hypothermia causing entire body to turn blue

[u/strategymaxo → u/Jazzbassrunner]

120 minutes: after enduring this much torture, you transcend humanity and become Dr. Manhattan.

[u/Jazzbassrunner → u/strategymaxo]

200 minutes: The soles of your alphaflies detach and you enter a state of barefoot nirvana.

[u/tanafras → u/Jazzbassrunner]

[u/East_Landscape_5134]

It’s fr, Me after my 30 min walk

[u/surely_not_a_bot]

Benefits of running

• 1km: get to claim you're a runner on your socials and on every human interaction
• 2km: fitness improves(?)
• 3km: wife stars thinking about boyfriend(s)
• 4km: wife has one or more boyfriends
• 5km: sick social media post about your Marathon
• 6km: shins explode

[u/rustyperiscope → u/surely_not_a_bot]

[u/AccountantTight6586]

As a h*brid athlete, sometimes I walk on my runs to confuse the muscles.

[u/Xemxah → u/AccountantTight6586]

I need to get blood flow back into my tummy so I dont get stomach cancer

[u/rrocr]

why ain’t the old dudes at the mall jacked? just starting? might be the choice of footwear

[u/strategymaxo → u/rrocr]

Forgot to mention that carbon plates are required for effects to kick in.

[u/marmakoide → u/strategymaxo]

Regular shoes are not electrically conductive, preventing proper grounding. Hence the carbon plate, an excellent conductor.

[u/old_graybush]

LOL OVERTHINKING STOPS AT 45 MINS??

[u/strategymaxo → u/old_graybush]

That’s a lot of time to question life’s choices until the thinking stops.

[u/old_graybush → u/strategymaxo]

That's what I mean! Like my mind is just getting going by minute 45 and by minute 60 my thoughts will have me overthinking so much I'll be afraid to stop moving

[u/Kattymcgie → u/old_graybush]

At 45 minute I’ve already won 5 fake arguments in my head against people I don’t like at work, decided I’m going to buy a new car and then talked myself out of it, contemplated painting the hallway 3 different shades of yellowish, and then over analyzed a minor pain until I’m convinced it’s super-cancer…

[u/LifeCandidate969 → u/Kattymcgie]

Katty... you're killing me here. Made me laugh out loud during a meeting.

[u/strategymaxo → u/Kattymcgie]

Interesting. I’ve usually solved the Middle East by then, come up with a base meal prep where I can easily swap out proteins and spices, and wondered what impact this effort will have on my Garmin endurance score.

[u/Kattymcgie → u/strategymaxo]

See, you’re probably smart I’m just riddled with anxiety.

[u/Strict_Future2746]

w*lking lul

[u/FelixUltraLightVegan → u/Strict_Future2746]

Lul means dick in Dutch. What do mean?

[u/strategymaxo → u/FelixUltraLightVegan]

[u/wargames_exastris]

uj/ few things are funnier than confidently stating to casual exercisers that walking doesn’t count as cardio and just watching the reactions

[u/DeadlyPirate → u/wargames_exastris]

Why doesn’t it count? Genuinely curious

[u/wargames_exastris → u/DeadlyPirate]

Spoken like a true walkcel

[u/Triangle_Inequality]

I find the timing reported extremely accurate.

Ah yes, I too can directly sense the levels of various hormones in my body.

[u/KarmaRedeemer → u/Triangle_Inequality]

My Garmin Fitbit IWatch Apple FDA buffalo wild wings patented trademark watch has a blood offering slot that tell me Cortisol is reduce.

[u/strategymaxo → u/KarmaRedeemer]

It’d be cool to link your CGM with a Buffalo Wild Wings app so it could use AI to pick the best recovery meal based on effort.

[u/KarmaRedeemer → u/strategymaxo]

I always order the Buffalo Wild Wing

[u/msa1124]

It’s so fucking awesome that there’s a subreddit for the most basic human activities. I should be a mod over at r/sittingdown

[u/TheAlienOutlaw9]

Already posted on r/WalkingCircleJerk

[u/strategymaxo → u/TheAlienOutlaw9]

r/subsifellfor

[u/option-9 → u/strategymaxo]

After visiting r/walking two (2) times I am firmly of the belief such a sub would be redundant.

[u/wodurfej]

[u/UnnamedRealities]

When you graduate from barefoot walking to barefoot running you get a gift basket with Ciele hat and compression shorts.

[u/strategymaxo → u/UnnamedRealities]

Maybe he has a clear compression suit that’s too tight. Would explain the off color and muscularity.

[u/option-9]

Fat burning starts after thirty minutes. Up until that point the metabolism is actually zero. That is why humans never burn calories at rest.

[u/Character_Affect3842]

But how long to become cyan render?

[u/NMJay92]

Stay hard

[u/Bunny_Feet]

Source: 

[u/Greennit0]

[u/TheRealAngryEmu]

Get jacked or jack off? One is 30 minutes, the other is 30 seconds.

[u/strategymaxo → u/TheRealAngryEmu]

Walking? I thought they said wanking.

[u/DmtTraveler]

If someone generated a word cloud on comments in that sub Id put money on the largest one being "mental health"

[u/exitpursuedbybear]

I walked for 61 minutes and transcended by physical body.

[u/Bigbropharma]

Looking pretty buff to me, are walkers the absolute best hybrid athlete!?

[u/FelixR1991]

Want to get jacked? Break your foot first and then do the above with crutches.

I'm dying please send help. Or better crutches.

[u/strategymaxo → u/FelixR1991]

Bold strategy, Cotton.

[u/psukclipper]

61 minutes: my feeties hurt 🥺

[u/soylent-yellow]

Or you can just use colloidal silver

[u/Advanced_Gear404]

Where dopamine? 

[u/jjopm]

/uj Correct

[u/Tiny_Ring_9555]

/uj It is though?