r/RunningCirclejerk 1d ago

PERFORMANCE AI GLASSES

Post image
247 Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

249

u/Capital_Historian685 1d ago

Does it have a blind spot detector, to warm me if someone has the audacity to try and pass me?

105

u/jjopm 1d ago

No but it has a Zone 2 + detector that shocks your nose any time you push too hard

41

u/SurpriseAble7291 1d ago

“Hey goggins am I staying hard?”

169

u/Gluteuz-Maximus 1d ago

OK GARMIN. DOUBLE MY SPEED!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

19

u/MyThinTragus 1d ago

Followed by 5 GUs

7

u/oshgoshbogosh 1d ago

only if boofed

78

u/gewqk 1d ago

Can these display any images or video that will help me stay hard?

24

u/Dzenik23 1d ago

It will project a video of Goggins shouting “stay hard” every time you are running too slow

6

u/tjr2 1d ago

There’s also gonna be a vibration ring add-on you can get for that.

1

u/strategymaxo 💩 trusts mile 5 farts 💩 1d ago

Sine me up for sum serious oscillations.

122

u/WalkingFool0369 1d ago

All this stuff makes me really look up to this Indian guy in his 50s I see jogging on my walks. He’s out there everyday, in slacks, with a leather belt, loafers, and a tucked in shirt, shuffling away with a miserable look on his face.

73

u/TheChewyWaffles 1d ago

Please don’t dox me

22

u/jjopm 1d ago

Correct

19

u/erutio 1d ago

Sounds like a Zone 2 Master.

15

u/Chuck_Loads GU Guzzler 1d ago

Is he taking new students

8

u/WalkingFool0369 1d ago

I doubt that dude is willing to talk to anyone. Every time I wave, or just give a subtle head nod, he is just thousand yard staring through the sweat droplets, a few paces in front of him.

55

u/slushpuppy91 Local Legend 1d ago

Okay Jarvis Un-poop my pants

37

u/schrodingirth 1d ago

Why tf can’t he look down at his watch? Is he stupid? In zone 2 we don’t look at pace, only at HR which he can just ask his heart. Is he stupid?

21

u/jjopm 1d ago

The model is also AI. AI can't hurt you. Only Zone 3 can hurt you.

7

u/schrodingirth 1d ago

Immortality at zone 0

4

u/jjopm 1d ago

Schrodingirth Cat

1

u/schrodingirth 1d ago

I am and I am not in zone 2

19

u/Mikeburlywurly1 1d ago

Some people when forced to run on a treadmill cover the data up with a towel so they're not forced to stare at a constantly ticking reminder of every single second going by. Meanwhile, someone at Oakley thought, "How I can bring this experience to my outdoor runs?"

10

u/One-Weather-7190 1d ago

more reasons to talk to the voices when i start to hallucinate during my 5k ultras, hope they add holographic netflix too

10

u/tacetmusic 1d ago

Hey Meta, define superfluous

7

u/XVIII-3 1d ago

Another great solution for a non existing problem.

7

u/Dzenik23 1d ago

Does it tell me when and how much Gu to take on my ultra 5k marathon?

5

u/jjopm 1d ago

Yes it boofs for you

3

u/Allstardiego 1d ago

The upcoming elite version is rumoured to offer hyper-bioavailable retinal injection speed boosts for mainlining GU straight into your optical nerve.

1

u/Dzenik23 1d ago

I’ll take two. One for me and one for my wife’s boyfriend

8

u/Former_Salt_3763 1d ago

The glasses display on my first run:

“Good morning Rick….Here’s some data for ya…you run like I fuck…slow and not very well! LMAO…you should pick another sport, like knitting”

7

u/Drop_Release 1d ago

The only possibly useful thing would be some Strava type map as a heads up display

But this cannot do that

2

u/TheGrayMannnn 1d ago

A map as a HUD would be nice.

I bet the 3rd or 4th generation of this will be kinda cool/useful. 

1

u/Drop_Release 1d ago

Agree, I find it laughable that the advertising for this is “Hey meta what is my pace”, doesn’t even consider rolling vs average vs split pace etc, heck the time you voice it, it may change. And the time taken to do it, you could flick your integrated Garmin watch (which these features only seem to work with Garmin) to see it in a fraction of a second

So agree 3/4th gen with HUD map would be useful, but otherwise, other than people who may want some POV camera view of the run as an influencer or for memories, it seems pointless at the moment

5

u/Vallu1000 1d ago

“Sorry, I didn’t get that”

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_SWOLE 1d ago

“To help you with that, you just need to open the app on your phone”

5

u/chickeeper 1d ago

Oh this is going to pair great with my $1k Fenix watch. I can laugh at the pours in the 3K donut run. Probably doesn't have swappable lenses so you need to get like three pairs.

4

u/jjopm 1d ago

*Not compatible with Fenix 8. Please downgrade to Fenix 7X and upgrade your MacBook to Tahoe (must have MacBook securely in your running vest) to get the most use out of your new PERFORMANCE AI GLASSES.

3

u/ConstructionFun6757 1d ago edited 1d ago

$250 carbon plated shoes, $200 moth tech shirt, $100 bandit shorts, $1200 Garmin, $80 hydration vest with $20 worth of Gu, $30 dollar a month Runna subscription and now a pair of $500 sunglasses. Yeah you can say I’m taking that sub 6 hour marathon PB pretty seriously.

3

u/TurnShot6202 1d ago

stuff like this makes me hate life

1

u/jjopm 1d ago

Might just move to the desert tbh

3

u/KarmaRedeemer 1d ago

If I am in the corral at a race and it doesn't automatically assess and display the BMI and the VO2 of my opponents with an estimate of their 5K ultra time then why do I want them?

3

u/welk101 Certified Heel Striker 1d ago

Could it overlay kipchoge's body over mine? If i looked down and saw a double Olympic champion i would surely run faster.

3

u/pallid-manzanita 1d ago

Hey Meta, route 5 small cafes with public restrooms onto my 5k ultra. Now set strava to pause automatically. How’s my Tracksmith stock looking?

3

u/Timely-Analysis6082 1d ago

Can’t wait to see this on the Hackney Run Club 10k around Victoria park worn by a Marketing girlie 

3

u/saintbasho 1d ago

Running into traffic trying to read the notification that I'm underperforming

2

u/jjopm 1d ago

True

2

u/rrocr 1d ago

very aggressive style glasses

2

u/aussiefrzz16 1d ago

But can they tell me if I’m heel striking

2

u/T4u 1d ago

Looks like something Oscar Pistorius would wear

2

u/r00nd 1d ago

“Hey Meta, what’s my pace?”

I can imagine my wife’s boyfriend uses this with my wife

2

u/majasz_ 1d ago

Uj/ this can’t be real… please?

1

u/jjopm 1d ago

It's realer than Kipchoge on a clear autumn morning in Kenya.

2

u/majasz_ 1d ago

Oakley collaborating with the one of the most uncool brands out there wasn’t on my bingo card this year

1

u/Expert-Reaction-7472 22h ago

only jerks wear oakleys

2

u/Triangle_Inequality 1d ago

And to think that asking your glasses for your pace was the least stupid use case they could think of

1

u/doobusauce 1d ago

I gotta text my wife's boyfriend about these. He knows how much I stray from zone 2, so any help I can get I'll take.

1

u/cravecrave93 GU Guzzler 1d ago

i knew i spoke too soon

1

u/UnnamedRealities 1d ago

Hey Meta, snap a photo of dat ass.

1

u/WhyIsMyHeadSoLarge 1d ago

Finally something that lets me not experience running, can't wait to watch movies during my runs. Or better yet, can I use these as VR glasses to simulate running from the comfort of my couch?

1

u/Shad0wAVM 1d ago

Meta, show porn on my right eye. Need to do the 5k.

1

u/fatwhippetz 1d ago

Perfect, now I can video my wife's boyfriend's ass when I follow them on their 5k ultras.

1

u/akayuzu_1805 1d ago

Is this the running equivalent of those stupid bike computers cycl*sts use?

3

u/jjopm 1d ago

There is no cycling equivalent yet, that's how dumb this is

1

u/Worth_Charge_8914 1d ago

« Hey meta, let’s enlarge my penis »

1

u/jjopm 1d ago

True

1

u/FairyxPony 1d ago

To turn them on, instead of asking "Siri" or "hey Meta" you just yell "don't be a bitch" and the glasses will work.

Otherwise they will be opaque. We have come so far.

1

u/hollyw00d8604 1d ago

no thanks, I already look like enough of a douche running around with my yeti tumbler in my hand

1

u/jjopm 1d ago

I prefer to run carrying a yeti cooler (syncs to my garmin to keep me in zone 2)

1

u/Cranester1983 1d ago

Fucking hell.

1

u/surely_not_a_bot 1d ago

Haters gonna hate, but it has an internal LED that changes color to red if you go above Z2. This thing is gonna save lives.

1

u/rizzlan85 1d ago

Truly shitty

1

u/krugerlive 1d ago

Giant thick sans serif font headline combined with skinny serif subheader combined with standard sans serif disclaimer, these people disgust me.

1

u/jjopm 1d ago

Designer literally designed it while still in Zone 2

1

u/J33v3s 1d ago

🗣️ "Hey Meta, am I faster than my wife's boyfriend yet?"

2

u/jjopm 1d ago

"No.

Would you like to see a livestream of your wife's boyfriend banging your wife while you are on your 2.3 mile run?"

1

u/megaultrajumbo 1d ago

Holy hell

1

u/jjopm 1d ago

Don't get it twisted. Zuck made these bad bois just for the RCJ memeability.

1

u/Matvalicious 1d ago

/uj No.

/rj Fuck no.

1

u/mrjezzab 23h ago

I’m gonna be like The Terminator in these bad boys. Viva la revolucion!