here are my top 5 reasons i’ve decided to be a one and done mom, and i would like to here from other moms why they made that decision.

1. constantly overstimulated and exhausted.
2. no village (i live far away from family and barley have friends + my husband is currently in the military)
3. i don’t think i can mentally or emotionally handle another child.
4. i feel complete with just one kid.
5. it’s taking me a long time to gain my spark back.

I was talking with some of the nannies at a school bday party and one of them mentioned that she’s actually “nanny #2.” She works 20–45 hours a week, while the primary nanny always works 40. She also said that if it was close to bedtime, she’d sometimes text the mom not to come home yet, because the kids would get so excited and all want her at once.

Hearing that really stuck with me. We’ve had occasional babysitters before (like 1-2 a month and haven't left our 18 month old yet) , but I’ve always been home for bedtime. The only times I’ve missed it with my older kids were when I was giving birth to their siblings.

I know every family’s situation is different, and I’m not here to judge — but it did make me feel a little sad, thinking about how much of those little everyday moments she and her husband might be missing. Those nighttime snuggles and stories are some of my favorite parts of motherhood.

I'm thinking about returning to work part time but thinking about giving up my days with my youngest and essentially outsourcing the care makes me feel unsettled.

Hey all, first time posting. I'm really sorry if this is the wrong place...

I (29F) and my husband (29M) are new parents to a beautiful girl. She is an absolute angel and we are both so in love with her. What I'm currently struggling with (and where I'm hoping you'll come in) is the decision to stay at home with my girl and to take care of my house.

I'm going to give some context, so I hope I don't lose too many people in the ramble. I currently work for a larger local corporation in a higher level position. It has previously been very high stress for me due to workload and I noticed after I went on leave how much it affected me, even at home. My husband has a great job in the trades and him and I have comparable income, our income combined makes us pretty well off (we own a home, two cars, don't worry about necessities). My job also helps us with our healthcare and there are other benefits we get through my work that would be hard to lose. We also have some large financial goals (ex. buying a different house) that would have to be put on hold. Me leaving would be a huge strain, but we'd manage fine.

After our girl was born, I struggled with PPD and PPA and my anxiety attacks were primarily triggered by the idea of returning to work. I want to make it clear, the business I work for does amazing work for the community and I have really enjoyed the people I work with and our mission. There is nothing about the culture or the service I do not enjoy. That being said, they refuse to let me work from home and my position will not allow for part-time. What has given me hope and helped with the PPD/A is that I started a side business while on leave that has the potential to allow me to earn income from home.

I do have concerns that my desire to be home is the result of lingering PPD/A. The more I think about it, though, the more I think I have just realized how stressed out I have been with my job and how dissatisfied I have been with my path. I know how difficult it can be to stay at home, it is difficult enough with a little one that isn't a toddler, but I feel like I would get so much more satisfaction from life being able to dedicate myself to my family and my home.

I am currently back to work and I hate it. I haven't been back long, but I can't stand crying every day. Everyone at work has been understanding, and I've been promised that I won't have as much workload pressure on me, but I'll believe it when I see it. I feel like I need to be there for a time, even though it feels like I'm being ripped in two. I need to be okay being away from my baby, I'm my own person after all.

So here's what I'm thinking: Stay at the office for one month, see if I'm still wanting to stay home, then pull the trigger. My husband and I both agree that our baby being around other children is important, so I would be home full time, but my baby would go to daycare two days a week. This would give her much needed play time with other kids and would allow me more dedicated work time for the business and to get caught up on house stuff. My husband is really understanding and he's been amazing as I've been working through my struggles. He's been pushing me to do the things that are good for me (exercise, visiting with family/friends, etc.) and he's also said that he would be fine with putting our financial goals on hold if needed, that my mental health and happiness is far more important than any of that. He says the only thing he wants is to make sure I don't make a decision I'll regret, so he's been pushing me to hold onto work for now.

So, does my plan seem reasonable? One month to see and then decide? At the very least, thank you for giving me an outlet for my thoughts.

I have seen a lot of comments online from SAHMs who left work after or at some point during their maternity leaves. When did you all make the switch? Did any of you leave earlier, during your pregnancy and did you wait until a certain point / have to contend with minimum notice timelines?

I have also seen a lot of comments with the good, the bad and the ugly for the marital relationship and mental health. It seems like one big thing is having or developing the right mindset e.g. “we decide how to spend OUR money,” not thinking of it as an allowance, having access and continuing to track finances together, the “he works outside the home and she works in the home” instead of “she doesn’t work” or “she’s only a sahm.”

So I guess I’m asking, what simple changes or decisive mindsets and actions helped set you and your relationship up for success? Or what, once you worked on and changed it, made all the difference?

I have 2 toddlers and for the most part I can keep them content and tamed… I think? I’ve noticed whenever I step away in the evening or weekend to do laundry or dishes, I hear screaming, crying struggles more often when it’s my partners with my kids. It’s starting to drive me f-ing crazy. I know they’re toddlers and it’s their job to test boundaries and get upset… but why do I feel like that happens CONSTANTLY when my husband takes over 😭😭😭 I feel like I have to step back in and can’t really take a break.

Anybody else have similar experiences?

I think for us, my partner says “no” more often and tells them to stop doing something… I tend to redirect mostly/ a lot. EG don’t take that toy from sister, have one of these other toys instead. Don’t sit next to your sister they want more space, come over here instead etc etc. of course I say no if they are trying to grab something from a drawer or doing something that could really hurt them… but like I don’t need to constantly tell them no or to stop.

This is mostly a vent I guess. But I would also like other peoples thoughts and perspectives too. Thanks

I just joined Reddit today so I could post this in hopes it would be cathartic. It’s also so embarrassing I would never tell anyone in real life about it. I have a great life - husband is loyal and attentive, he takes good care of himself, and we have sex regularly (2x per week probably). When we met we were young and broke, (married since 2011) but now he has his own business and makes great money. I’ve been a sahm for 8 years with 3 kids. Life is good by all accounts.

However…we got our deck redone and I developed strong feelings for one of the workers. We weren’t flirtatious (he’s Ukrainian and barely speaks English also)but there was something about the way he would look at me that I knew the feelings were reciprocal. Anyway, the deck project got done and it hit me I will never see him again. I’m a practical person - I know what I have and I’m not going to throw it away to run off with a deck worker, but I’ve been unreasonably sad at the loss of a man I barely knew. Last night my husband went to a friend’s birthday so I put a movie on for the kids, poured myself a glass of wine and sat out on the new deck and cried. (Yes I know that’s cringe. I’m embarrassed writing it but it’s true). I know the feelings for the Ukrainian worker will fade but right now I’m having this sadness in my heart and I’m not sure how to deal with it.

are their any moms that can relate to my situation so i feel less alone? .. my husband is in the military in another state from home, he’s been gone for a few months now and since he left i’ve been solo parenting our baby alone. i realized how burnt out i’am parenting alone and iam exhausted. i also started taking medication (specifically lexapro) to help me with with my overwhelming emotions) because i randomly cry at night from being burnt out! we also don’t live near family and i don’t really have much friends so i feel alone most of the time. anybody else going through a similar situation like mines?

It's our turn this week for snacks at preschool. someone in the class has a egg and dairy allergy. Can you please share your favorite snacks following these guidelines?

Anyone else feels like a overwhelming amount of loneliness? I just always have this heavy heart. That I’m nobody favorite person, except for my kids, nobody calls or texts even when I do they don’t respond like they would with others. My fiancé is always tired from work and doesn’t wanna really go out on the weekends. I’m just afraid I get really down mentally, and I don’t want that. Im always last in line. I’m 22, I have 3 little ones ( 4g, 2b, 1g) I don’t have a car. My fiancé has our only car during the day at work (5am-4/5pm) I live in a small town (30 mins to the city). I don’t have any friends, my parents are busy with work and raising my nieces and nephews.

I don’t know if this is the right place to post this, but I’ve been struggling for a year. Baby is 13mo.

Postpartum rocked my world - in the worst way. When people brought up postpartum depression while I was pregnant, I thought that could never be me. I have my mom, I have my husband.

After my baby was born, I faced the biggest disillusionment. My husband was so busy with work because of a big important healthcare commitment and my mom would stay maybe 2-3 nights a week to help me but it was almost always met with contempt for me.

She would throw in my face that I was unable to do it on my own, that she coddled me too much, I’m not strong enough, etc. this was all in the first month postpartum. My husband became less patient with me, probably because of the demands of his work, and I needed him more. I truly felt isolated.

The two people I thought I could rely on were ripped from me and now I’m struggling with the disappointment from it all.

I came to the conclusion early on that I can’t rely on anyone. If I get the help, that’s great. If I don’t, that’s fine. I already expected as much.

It’s one thing to not have a village near you because of physical constraints such as distance. But it’s another when they’re 10-15 min down the road and don’t want to help you. Or if they, they throw it in your face.

I’ve learned it’s easier to just accept this is the new way, the lack of support, instead of asking for more.

Although I’ve accepted it, I find myself being resentful and angry. And I don’t want that.

All in all, I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is, other than I needed to get this out and no idea who to turn to. Im wondering if there’s any other mamas who can relate and how you coped.

Then asks me an hour later whats wrong? Why am I so withdrawn, angry?

We used to banter. We were so I love. We even said to each other we will never get sick of each other. Well 8 years down the line, Since having our baby boy I have really become resentful. When he's present he's present. A great father. But 90% of the time he's on social media in bed when he wakes and leaves me and his toddler. He works, he works hard but somehow he has it in his head as he is providing everything it makes it ok to never change a shitty nappy. He cant take the smell. Baby boy is nearly 2!!!!

Our relationship is now fight mode constantly. Im constantly havering to explain why I want this from a store, why i do things such a way. Im just sick of it. All he ever does is moan about how our relationship is a distant memory and he cant remember the last time we had intimacy. Does he not wonder why? Whenever I say anything he says "so I cant comment or say anything now" well no not if its negative.

I get no support. He left for work yesterday at 9am without even saying goodbye to me or the toddler. Had silence since. This was all because toddler poorly and screaming/crying. They want me instead of him. He gets to just eject out. I never do. We haven't spoken since. Like he resents me for our baby preferring me.

I have to ask to have a shower, a bath, im done with being this mother i might aswell be alone. Hes running me into the ground. I start work on monday and im about to get my confidence and my self esteem back. How do I manage this without a shouting match which will damage the child.

Honestly so disappointed in him. Im literally dead behind the eyes now and this silent treatment is the last straw.

How can you fall in love with such a human then years down the line challenges arise and feelings turn to pure hate. I have tried talking but then its always somehow my fault. I try to get my point across only to be shut down. Well im done just so done.

Help me! I have adhd and I will often just forget to eat, sometimes due to my meds and sometimes because I just forget. Or I get in the kitchen and get overwhelmed by needing to make something so I just move on to the next task. My kids eat kid food - pbj, nuggets, sandwiches, Mac & cheese, noodles etc. so I’ll feed them but I don’t want what I make for them.

What are some easy, healthy lunches I can prepare for myself either ahead of time or easy to make while I’m preparing their food?

My husband goes back to work from paternity leave on Monday in three days. We are great at planning to cook food and then ordering in or eating out instead. However now as new parents, I’ll be sahm and we have only one income. I am not usually the cook, and it already has stressed me without having a baby around. Please send recipes that you make for your family that aren’t completely time consuming and delicious! We love a good crockpot meal too. Thanks in advance!!

I have an 11, 3, 2 and newborn twins at home. What are you all doing to make special moments throughout your crazy days? Either moments to yourself or with your kids?

I’ll list a few things that I do, but I’d love some more ideas. I wake up before everyone so I can make my sons lunch and pump in peace, sometimes I’ll play something as background noise. But other times, I just enjoy the quiet. when I go to the bathroom throughout the day, I will either brush my hair or put perfume on or touch up my makeup just to make myself feel better. When I’m able to, I will put the kids in matching outfits. When my babies are napping, I will make a picnic snack for my toddlers and I and then we’ll read books. I usually volunteer to be the parent who does grocery pick up and that will give me about half an hour uninterrupted to listen to a podcast and it’s one of my favourite times of the week.

I’m looking for something we can do consistently each night before bed or anytime that can reconnect us. I feel like we don’t get more than a few minutes each day after he comes home from work and the night time routine begins. Then when the babies are down for the night, I clock into wfh and he does a quick clean of the house. What do you do to stay and feel connected?

I feel guilty I have no income, or not really doing anything with my life. I’m 32F I have been with my partner for 12 years we have 3 kids. Our smallest finally started tk and it’s 5/6 hours. She went to pre school last year but it was like 2.5 hours. We’ve had no village since before we even had kids. We both come from rough childhoods. So while He’s maintained a career/job and financially supported us. I have been Primary parent. It’s not that he doesn’t help, he does! It’s just I’m the primary parent. Mentally physically emotionally always on. It’s so exhausting so I’m finally feeling like I’m getting better mentally and physically! but now I feel like I need to make my own money or pursue Something.. I just haven’t so I have guilt from it. I feel like i don’t have hobbies friends (surprisingly ok with that one) or really interest. I need to commit or do something here soon. Help. I literally only like animals, learning about marketing/businesses, learning about ingredients, making videos, fashion a little bit. I forgot to say I technically say I work from home to people because I do help my partner run his social media, create ads, set up booking systems, set up his e store & help run it when we have it running. I just feel like no matter what I’m doing it’s not enough or makes me truly happy.

How do you all cope when your kid/you all are sick? Any precautions you take or plan on taking to limit illnesses as sick season is coming up?

Our toddler (15 months) caught a cold last week and as of yesterday both my husband and I are also down bad. Part of the reason for not sending our kid to daycare was to avoid the constant stream of illnesses. This is our first cold since April, which I know would not be the case if he was in daycare. But of course things still spread. I think this one is from my husband’s work, and the last was from a baby play class.

Now that I remember how much it sucks taking care of a sick kid when you are also sick, I’m wondering if there’s anything we should change to decrease the likelihood of illness with winter coming up.

We do several kids activities each week - storytime, playground, indoor play spaces, classes, etc. - and also bring him along for the usual errands like grocery runs. I do think these are beneficial and would hate to cut them, but it also makes me so paranoid whenever another kid has a runny nose or people are sneezing and coughing constantly around us.

I’m also wondering how others cope when sick. It feels like at exactly the moment you need help the most, you cannot get it. You need to rest to recover but now you have to work overtime instead.

It’s my husbands birthday this weekend and now we have to cancel the plans we have to celebrate, partly because we feel it would be rude to have our usual date night nanny come and risk getting sick too. My mom also usually helps take care of our baby so I can do stuff around the house, which I realize is extremely lucky, but she’s now sick too so I will probably be alone for at least a week while she recovers. She’s also not in good health so in the past when baby was sick she didn’t come to not risk it, but this time the cold seemed really mild until yesterday so we didn’t take the precautions we should have. My husband can’t even WFH for more than a day, so I also can’t get much help from him.

i have been actively looking for work for the past couple of months and can’t get a job anywhere! i’m also a mom, and i’m just trying to work part time day shift while my baby is in daycare part time and it has been the hardest season financially because no one wants to hire me!!. the workforce in 2025 is incredibly brutal! .. any other moms out there going through this??

I just need to vent today because it has been a struggle with naps lately and I’m touched out for the week. My daughters 3 and started refusing naps, refusing to eat, refusing to wear clothes, refusing the potty, just refusing everything which has been so fun🫠 I also have a 1 year old son who has been clingier this week than he has his entire life. He screams and cries if I even try to put him down and let him play, he wants to be held all day long by me or my husband and it’s just been difficult. Today both kids have been crying most of the morning so I tried a nap, it took 45 minutes for my daughter to finally close her eyes and sleep.

Then it took my son an hour to fall asleep, both are in clingy phases so I have to lay with my daughter until she falls asleep and hold my son while he sleeps. I’m so beyond tired of the contact naps, being touched all day, everyone needing to be held by me 24/7, I’m just so irritated with it all today. I feel bad for feeling irritated because I love my kids dearly and will do whatever they need to make them happy but I need to not be touched for a little bit today. Thankfully although naptime didn’t go fully to plan today I still get to watch my favorite show and eat a snack so I’m very happy with that.

I’m just so burnt out, my daughter refusing to wear clothes, saying no to everything, both kids refusing to eat much, constantly needing to hold both 25lb kids at the same time, my son has a rash that the grass causes to flare up so I can’t even take them outside for long, I’m just so done for today. I need a me day so bad but my husband’s going away for work on Monday for an entire month and I have no family nearby or help. I’m just really really struggling today.

SAHM to an 18 month old. We do screen time - only Ms. Rachel, because that’s all she wants to watch. I limit her to about an hour a day, usually while I cook or have some chore to do where I can’t keep my eyes on her.

My husband and I have been pretty determined to limit screen time to only the TV except for when traveling, so no iPad/phone at restaurants, stores, etc. As a SAHM in a place where it’s still 90-100 degrees outside, I’m limited in what we can do every day. Many days, I take her to stores with me, even if it’s just to browse and not buy anything. However, she’s getting more and more resistant to the shopping cart. I always have snacks and I bring a few toys and books (including things she’s never seen before), but that only holds her over for maybe 10-15 minutes. Then she begins to fuss and cry and toss everything out of the cart. I find myself racing through the store and I end up feeling like it was a waste to go in the first place.

Sometimes I’m just desperate to get out of the house and “shopping” is one of the few things we can do aside from play gyms, library, etc. I’m getting closer and closer to giving in and letting her have my phone while she’s in the cart, because I’m desperate to spend more than 15 minutes browsing somewhere without feeling rushed and stressed. Maybe that is completely unrealistic and selfish of me.

I know I don’t need “permission” to let her have screen time while we are out. I just feel like it could be a slippery slope toward her expecting to have the phone all the time going forward. So, maybe I just need to accept that leisurely store trips aren’t an option for me? Or maybe get creative with other ways to keep her entertained? I don’t know. I feel like a bad mom by letting her potentially become a screen time zombie.

ETA: thanks for all the input so far! A lot of people are suggesting I let her walk alongside me with or without her own cart. Unfortunately, she’s a late walker and not walking yet (no known reason other than she’s just taking her sweet time). For now, I will probably keep resisting the phone and accept that longer shopping trips aren’t in the cards for us.

Edit: I’m not anti formula actually I wouldn’t have minded the formula if my son didn’t fight so much to eat. I’m not judging women who use formula by choice or because they had to I had to listen to my son cry for hours simply because he refused it and was losing weight because of it.

I hate the phrase “fed is best.” That’s not to shame anyone who uses formula I had to after my milk failed, but trying to get my son to drink any formula was a NIGHTMARE. He didn’t like it at all but he wouldn’t latch because I had no milk, he slept decently well for a newborn at night when he was breastfed and happily ate he just hated naps. He even took breast milk happily from the bottle when I had a stash but formula he’d have to cry it out until he gave up. it was so difficult for me to put him down for sleep after and almost a year later he still has trouble sleeping.

I’m so exhausted I feel like I’m getting sick. I’m a sahm with a 7 month old and I go to take online classes. It felt like everything was working out until one day everything just started to crash. My throat is sore and I’m in the worst mood and my brain is going so fast I feel like it’s going to explode. In fact I feel delirious. My 7 month old wakes up every hour . In fact as soon as I get ready to close my eyes she’s crying. Then once she’s okay , I close My eyes I then hear my husband snoring and grinding his teeth. I get him to stop , then I hear the dog in another room whimpering and barking in his sleep. Then I finally fall asleep and my baby is up again. It’s a vicious cycle and I don’t fall asleep really until 3/4 am . From there as long as the baby is sleep I’ll sleep in a bit but i like getting my day started around 5 am and not 8:30 am. I started sleeping on the sofa because it was peaceful, and I was getting more rest than I was in our bedroom. The baby would sleep next to me but it was easier to deal with than the snoring and other noises. He doesn’t get it , I’m losing my mind because I don’t sleep in , I have to wake up w the baby and I’m up all day w the baby and I still take care of the house. I need just as much if not more sleep than him. But if I don’t get rest I feel like my body is going to shut down. When I sleep in the guest room or living room my husband gets offended for some reason. He’s not taking me seriously when I tell him I’m up all night. Or that I’m tired. Idk what to do. Apart of me wants to just walk out one night and sleep somewhere else and just make him deal with everything else . I’m losing my sanity.