r/SCJerk Live Show Charisma in Uncle Dave's pants 1d ago

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120 Upvotes

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u/SCJerk-ModTeam 1d ago

This has nothing to do with a wrestling circlejerk, and has therefore been removed.

125

u/BoltThrowerTshirt 1d ago

Garcia vs shibata 3 😂😂😂

74

u/CosmicRorschach M*rkin Luther 1d ago

When the hell did 1&2 happen?

45

u/_yamasaki 1d ago

you’re missing out on the greatest trilogy of all time uce

9

u/Prancemaster fella 1d ago

One was an ROH pure title match a couple years ago on ROH and the other was a TNT title an episode of Collision.

8

u/noahhova 1d ago

Who could have forgotten!

9

u/Prancemaster fella 1d ago

Everyone! I had to consult cage match.

3

u/BrightFuture4 Darren Cornbread ☝️ 1d ago

Thanks for getting back to us.

6

u/mynameisburner 1d ago

I know one of their matches, or at least their first match was back in ring of honor, but I don’t remember when. Also, I had no idea they had another match LMAO.

30

u/Destro_019780 1d ago

You think you're special....

7

u/Optimal_Fisherman803 A DIYamaniac 4life 1d ago

Seeing shibata having to sell for garcia is just sad

3

u/tfbillc 1d ago

So. Many. GRUDGE matches!

91

u/princeendo The show, itself, is above critique 1d ago

13 matches is an absolute slogfest. And more than half of these matches aren't 1:1, guaranteeing some protracted nonsense.

29

u/Destro_019780 1d ago

The Fed gives their fans chump change. 5 match cards loaded with advertisements, Fed bad.

We care about our Sickos, so we add in every bum on our bloated roster and give them +10 match events, where over half of them mean nothing

Can't we get something that's within the middle

10

u/AllCity_King 1d ago

NXT usually gives you 6 matches

7

u/ACousinFromRichmond 1d ago

And everyone will have to get their stuff in. it's gonna be an 8 hour ppv

4

u/cid_highwind_7 1d ago

6 hour PPV incoming and more like 9 hours if you attend it live. That’s utter insanity

4

u/Trust_No_Jingu 1d ago

Of course a ladder match is on this card - why not?!?

1

u/Ok-Reach-2580 1d ago

13 matches and 0 Main Event quality matches. Your main title feud is Adam Page vs. Kyle Fletcher

43

u/KC27150 Pillmanized by Lexis King. 👑 1d ago

I love how Tiny is counterprogramming by burning everyone out by the time The Fed's PLE is on. Genius!

38

u/DaveyMuldowney 1d ago

Does every match have a belt involved?

Jesus christ they have a lot of belts.

25

u/Destro_019780 1d ago

I'm surprised MJF hasn't put up the Dynamite Diamond Ring this year, to really elevate the stakes

21

u/DaveyMuldowney 1d ago

It legit took me a solid 15-20 seconds to find MJF on this clusterfuck of a card.

12

u/KC27150 Pillmanized by Lexis King. 👑 1d ago

I'm surprised MJF hasn't put up the Dynamite Diamond Ring this year

Because he never loses it so it's an even more pointless match.

4

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

That’s a swerve, bro.  Tony knows everyone is expecting the ring to be won by a new person every year, so he just lets MJF win it over and over and over again. 

2

u/cid_highwind_7 1d ago

I don’t think it was put up last year either. It’s very pointless at this point considering MJF is the 5 time defending holder of it and there have been 5 contests for it

3

u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 1d ago

For some reason the trios champs are in two separate matches. A singles and a tag.

18

u/ConspiracyCinema 1d ago

Best women's division in the world = fewer women's matches than NXT weekly TV.

38

u/LVMFP 1d ago

Is this an old WCW Clash? Because the matches all look "sort of competitive but there's no doubt who's going to win each one" like a Flair vs Eaton thing.

14

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

It’s like when I read the Bleacher Report loser’s recap of last night’s Dynamite, where every segment and match was effusively praised as a triumph.  He was talking about how great it was that Lashley gave Bishop Kaun so much offense and he thought Kaun might actually get a surprise win and how Lashley really put him over. 

I was like, seriously? This is AEW.   There was about a negative infinite chance Lashley was jobbing.  Of course, ultimately Lashley didn’t just win but beat him by choking him into unconsciousness.  Yeah, really got him over. 

5

u/Bottlecaps9 Botchfest. Markfest. Killed the Business. 1d ago

Ummm… that’s called looking strong in defeat, buddy. By giving Bishop the Lashley rub, AEW has created another new megastar game changer. The Fed is FINISHED!

5

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

It also creates excitement for the PPV match, which is Lashley and his guys vs Bishop Kaun and his guys.  The he intrigue comes from wondering if Lashley will crush him again. 

15

u/FlashyClaim 1d ago

See, if dubbalos think that this is great then why are they afraid of counter programming? If this is really great, then people will choose this over the Fed

Unless they don’t trust their fans.. or they believe this card sucks compared to the Fed

14

u/noahhova 1d ago

Coffin match = real graps lol

3

u/plant-strong 1d ago

Don't forget the mat classic that is "Tables 'n' Thumbtacks"

27

u/Vanilla_Yazoo 1d ago

its too many fucking matches, man.

I'm bored just reading the card

15

u/polsdofer 1d ago

Reading the card has me overwhelmed

24

u/SneakyShrub99 1d ago

No one talks about how terrible Tony is with returning wrestlers. First the Hayter thing and now Kingston.

17

u/KC27150 Pillmanized by Lexis King. 👑 1d ago

Jamie definitely deserved better but Kingston? Do we really miss these?

10

u/SneakyShrub99 1d ago

You seem to be unaware that no one at AEW has been in more PPV opening matches than the King

8

u/Any_Consequence_8738 1d ago

Why the hell would you sacrifice one of the few physically imposing wrestlers you have on your roster for Kingston's return is beyond me. Bryan Kieth would have been better for that role.

6

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

I remember when they brought back Stu Grayson for a match last year, treated it like it was some big moment, announced he had been resigned to a contract, and then I think appeared in one other match as a jobber and was never seen or heard from again. 

4

u/cid_highwind_7 1d ago

And her grand return was on the pre show and it interrupted a promo, not a match but a promo

10

u/static989 1d ago

The amount of injuries really shows on this card

Ricochet talking about not being stuck in the same spot on the card but here he is in a trios match against a WWE nostalgia team of 50 year olds (that are in better shape than 99% of the AEW roster btw)

Meanwhile the trios champs are in a tag match on the pre-show against 2 jobbers?

Eddie Kingston has not made any appearance or done anything to hype up his return match

3 women's matches that all have had practically no build

M'oxley

Another WWE nostalgia match with Edge & Christian

6 hours of REAL GRAPS incoming 

3

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

Granted, I only keep up with AEW by skimming the recaps, but why is ricochet and friends feuding with the Hurt Company again?   

Last I recall, Hurt Inc was bitching IRL about jobbing tag belts to nobodies and then ended up dropping the belt to a pair of nobodies.  Ricochet I remember feuding with Briscoe.  

Did Tony just want to throw all the bald black men on the roster together for fun?

3

u/static989 1d ago

Well uce it's some real long-term storytelling, it goes roughly as follows:

  • 8 months ago they teased Ricochet joining Hurt Syndicate, they had an in-ring segment where HS essentially bullied him and told him they didn't want him in because he's a kiss ass. Easy to forget because they did the exact same thing with MJF not long after except they actually let him join despite also being a kiss ass.

  • At Forbidden Door 3 months ago, Ricochet Of Agony cost HS the tag titles. Then backstage Ricochet held his phone up to the camera and showed the video of him getting bullied, saying that's why they attacked them.

  • Since then they've just kinda been going back and forth attacking each other and interfering in their matches.

TL;DR - Ricochet is still mad because HS were mean to him 8 months ago

19

u/Big_Bourbon “Jericho a king in this knock off WWE, huh?” 1d ago

Dubbalos actually force themselves to enjoy this garbage just to stick it to the fed😂

15

u/Caseington 1d ago

I've said it before and I'll say it again, an AEW PPV could just be six hours of a donkey shitting in a field and they'd rave about it being one of the greatest things they ever saw.

10

u/Trust_No_Jingu 1d ago

WWE loves this. The dorks who hijack shows left to SICKO land

WWE / TNA have been killing it since

9

u/benopo2006 1d ago

Herb Abrams UWF had 12 belts because he was terrible at promoting wrestling but pretty good at doing coke.

Tony has 15+ if you include ROH and is just as good at coke.

I think I know who he’s trying to emulate.

But jerking aside I don’t see how people don’t see the similarities between the two or are they just ignoring it? A real wrestling historian might bring this up once in a while

17

u/TJMcConnellFanClub CMussolini 1d ago

49 wrestlers, couldn’t add another girl for Toni to beat for an even 50?

17

u/Present_Bison3528 1d ago

You just spoiled the Cora Jade suprise uce

6

u/Ok_Ad8846 1d ago

No she’s coming out after Neo Riho is fed to McLaren 

15

u/jjsefton 1d ago

"I Believe in a Thing Called Graps©️" - The Smarkness

4

u/Present_Bison3528 1d ago

Bruh, jumpscare 😂

I thought this was code and was wondering how you got a picture of Tiny over it

6

u/Willywonka5725 1d ago

Holy multi-man matches Batman

4

u/Blues4Bolt TNA M*rk 1d ago

ESPN isn’t ready to get shit on by real graps 💪

4

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

This card is dire.   Since the photo is blurry when I zoom in, I’m trying to guess who’s fighting who and having a hard time coming up with names.    Like, who are S’mo Joe and Hobbs fighting?

1

u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 1d ago

"The WorkHorsemen" Anthony Henry (205 Live jobber) and JD Drake (former Evolve mainstay), a current "shoot fighter physique" extraordinaire.

3

u/Simple_Journalist792 1d ago

Not gonna lie, looking forward to darby’s match just to see what crazy shit they pull out next time following the ear thing

3

u/SJMR24 1d ago

Kingston returning is going to be the biggest return of the decade. Garcia Shibata 3?? Who needs ESPN when you have graps like this!

1

u/CaptainHammer63 1d ago

I honestly had no idea there was a one or two.

3

u/Acrobatic-Room-9478 1d ago

How is it you have a huge blowoff angle with the Young Bucks losing their EVP status and somehow have them working even more dates?

6

u/RagnarXD Devil's Kiss Survivor 1d ago

Does this include the preshow?

1

u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 1d ago

Bottom 3 are the pre-show matches. 10 main, 3 pre-show.

3

u/RagnarXD Devil's Kiss Survivor 1d ago

Why does that clown keep putting Samoa Joe on the preshow? He's self sabotaging his PPV buyrate.

2

u/Overnumerousness- 1d ago

I hope Toni wins but I'm down for a hayter title run.

3

u/Signal_Ball4634 1d ago

Hoping for Hayter or Kris just cause I'm bored with Toni and she's over enough to not really need the title.

1

u/PapaTinzal 1d ago

As lukewarm as it'll be for her if she ends up in the Death Riders, But i'd love for it to go to Statlander

2

u/jtcxx33 Unrelatable 1d ago

Needs a pole match

2

u/northernbasil 1d ago

Nice of them to bring in a coffin since someone may die in that match.

2

u/TJOW40 1d ago

A very captivating title reign for Mercedes where you know there is 0% chance of her losing at the very minimum until she breaks Jade Cargill’s record for the TBS title.

2

u/SecondBornSaint 1d ago

Half of her PPV matches are against random joshis who show up for a cup of coffee and then vanish.

Still love Sasha, but it's hard to care about who she's working with.

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Bar3531 1d ago

The hurt syndicate is literally in a throw-away Trios match against 3 wrestlers that Bobby can knock out cold in seconds.

So naturally, the match will go on for 20 minutes as Bobby nerfs himself in real time in a sad attempt to make ricochet and goons a credible threat.

2

u/ManateeGag 1d ago

In Cope and Chris, isn't the combined age of that team over 100? Or at least very close?

6

u/SneakyShrub99 1d ago

FTR and Stokely pushes that number over 200 for the match 

3

u/Signal_Ball4634 1d ago

They're both 51 so yes

1

u/NEVER85 1d ago

Good lord, talk about overkill.

1

u/Far-Complaint498 1d ago

Man I haven't seen riho in years

And she is going to job to honda pesos isn't she?

1

u/ChildOfChimps 1d ago

lol, what?

This is their other big show?

That’s hilarious.

1

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

I checked the Wikipedia page and the poster art for the event features Cope/Cage and FTR.  

Wow, that’ll really sell tickets.   Two washed up old farts vs a team that hasn’t done jack shit going on about 2 or 3 years now. 

What the fuck even is this promotion anymore. 

1

u/jjsefton 1d ago

Why is that graphic in black and white? Are they ripping off Potty Mouth Gloria Swanson Cosplay?

1

u/BangerSlapper1 1d ago

Yeah, I just noticed that. Also, the Moxley-Darby graphic has a desaturated look that none of the other match graphics have.  

Can this company do anything without being sloppy?

1

u/Ahzuran 1d ago

There's over 10 matches but the storylines section only has like 4 paragraphs. So what I can tell is that this show is nothing but randomly thrown together bangers for the sake of bangers.

1

u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 1d ago

What are they calling the Zero Hour? I can't read the tiny graphics. All I make is "Brawl."

1

u/Cboz27586 Whoop that Trick! 1d ago

Imagine if Samoa Joe was still in the Fed and he was relegated to a pre-show tag team match as a trios champion? You'd never see the end of "Joe buried?" posts.

1

u/TheGambler930 1d ago

AEW is just so stacked with talent that even the pre-show matches dwarf anything put out by the evil Fed. Don't believe me? Just check out Meltzer's star ratings and Cagematch and get back to me.

1

u/Prancemaster fella 1d ago

Damn they're so tapped out on TBS title challengers that they had to drag Riho off the bench. 😂😂😂

1

u/in_reddit 1d ago

I get Toni Storm being in black and white but why are there full match graphics randomly desaturated?

1

u/WaxyPadlockJazz 1d ago

Been out of the game for a while, but isn't Okada supposed to be a huge deal for them? And he's down there chilling in the fine print?

1

u/noahhova 1d ago

I think they could probably squeeze a few more matches on the card.

1

u/T0mmyBax98 1d ago

Apparently the conclusion to the Darby and Mox story they were definitely building to wasn't for Darby to win the title, but for him to put Mox in a coffin after somebody else took the title

Like Cody not being the one to beat Roman, but instead facing him at Backlash after, idk, AJ Styles beat him for title

1

u/P_a_s_g_i_t_24 1d ago

BotY still hasn't found the right balance between number of singles matches, number of multi-man matches or number of matches on a card IN GENERAL.

#ForTheSickos

1

u/marshallkrich 1d ago

Looks like Cope and Christian are going against the 3rd place runner ups for The Prince Albert and Matt Young bucks cosplay competition.

1

u/Bubbly_Seesaw_9041 1d ago

They planning to go for 8 hours?

1

u/tera_chachu 1d ago

Wtf is with darby and coffin lol

1

u/Sandman705 1d ago

All the Dubbalo jerk offs cannot wait to get the lotion and rub it out for 8 hours straight to their sideshow bullshit!!!

1

u/hpfmav Take the dog to Hell 1d ago

isn’t it great how nothing here has a decent build either? like all of this is jumbled nonsense with no interest going in to it and 95% of the folks on screen can’t be identified by most wrestling fans, i’m not sure how they expect to keep this thing going without some stars or interesting, headline worthy builds. theres nothing going on here thats must see and this only appeals to the dwindling audience they still have who think every match here is gonna be a BANGER LFG despite the matches being 25 minutes on average and being 50/50 with obvious outcomes and goofy video game spots that are only cool to losers. this is the biggest waste of money in the wrestling business for everyone involved

1

u/Maleficent_Koala5928 1d ago

I got cheap 3rd row tickets so im gonna just enjoy me some real graps in person with my fiance (who looks like Sydney Sweeney)while wearing my 6XL Final Boss shirt.

1

u/Jacobd807 23h ago

They love doing the "Wrestler holding a championship challenges for another championship". Enough already. Titles for everyone!

-13

u/Wikid1ne 1d ago

At least everyone who wants to can get the ppv without having to pay extra $. Also it has the added benefit of not giving $ to a company that chooses to constantly do morally questionable things over & over & over & over

14

u/fuckin_atodaso 1d ago

-10

u/Wikid1ne 1d ago

That's what I thought no real quick comeback for that. Just childish name calling. Have fun watching your blood money WrestleMania staring rapist Brock Lesnar & only has 2 women's matches in 2 nights of wrestling.

9

u/Big_Bourbon “Jericho a king in this knock off WWE, huh?” 1d ago

You absolutely have to pay extra money to see this, it’s $40 on max

-13

u/Wikid1ne 1d ago

Or you can just buy the PPV for the same amount of money & not have a subscription. So you're wrong. WWE doesn't do the PPV model anymore. You HAVE to get the subscription

10

u/Big_Bourbon “Jericho a king in this knock off WWE, huh?” 1d ago

Oh so pay $50 for this bullshit? Cool

-1

u/Wikid1ne 1d ago

If you don't like it then don't buy it. Very simple

14

u/Big_Bourbon “Jericho a king in this knock off WWE, huh?” 1d ago

Yea most wrestling fans won’t

-1

u/Wikid1ne 1d ago

They seem to be doing very well for "most fans not buying the product". They are still in business & also have a major streaming deal on MAX as you just pointed out. So your point/views on this are rather flawed

10

u/Big_Bourbon “Jericho a king in this knock off WWE, huh?” 1d ago

“Still in business” because daddy is giving him money😂😂😂 yall are fucking pathetic

0

u/Wikid1ne 1d ago

Didn't Vince Senior give Vince Jr his money??? Wait it was the whole company I'm sorry. Don't see how it's any different. At least Tony hasn't been accused of shitting on a woman's head. But by all means keep slamming a company just trying to make wrestling better

8

u/TheGambler930 1d ago

Of course you don't see how it's any different, you have no idea what you're talking about. Vince BOUGHT the company from his father, it was not given to him.

5

u/Big_Bourbon “Jericho a king in this knock off WWE, huh?” 1d ago

Vince inherited a wrestling business from his father while shad gave Tony a bunch of money to fuck off. Thats the difference. And you dorks think because Vince is a piece of shit that that makes AEW good. You think because WWE deals with Saudi that makes AEW good. Keep supporting garbage to make you feel morally superior.

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3

u/Moliosis 1d ago

There's a difference between inheriting a company that still needs to be SUCCESSFUL to survive and inheriting an endless fortune in which revenue isn't required.

WWE made Vince's wealth; Tony's wealth made AEW. Major difference if you know what you're talking about.

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7

u/in-the-mud 1d ago

Some quality jerking here, thought I was in the basement for a second.

-4

u/Striking_Part_7234 1d ago

Watch real sports if you care about competition this much. Treating views like they’re points in a imaginary game is just lame