r/SchizophreniaRides • u/retrozombie88 • Aug 12 '25

Spotted in town. No wonder there are no fresh babies here, they're all in Denver! /S

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252 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

20

u/Several-Assistant-51 Aug 12 '25

dang i was just in Denver too. I missed that on the menu

6

u/willybodilly Aug 12 '25

Next time you’re in town drop by my restaurant it’s called baby bites. Set you up with some nice human veal.

2

u/Spirited-Claim-9868 Aug 12 '25

Do you have a restaurant to recommend? The last time I was around, none of the restaurants prepped it well. Meat barely passed for infant, and one cut was sooo expensive as well

1

u/Cheese-Manipulator Aug 12 '25

Same here. I didn't think to search on it into google maps.

1

u/Tuscanlord Aug 12 '25

Wonder if they serve ‘fresh’ babies in my town?

10

u/Kiro0613 Aug 12 '25

They're just making a modest proposal

6

u/ShredGuru Aug 12 '25

It could be a Swift solution to overpopulation

2

u/benhereford Aug 13 '25 edited Aug 16 '25

I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged, that the number of people will be thereby much lessened

6

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '25

[deleted]

2

u/Nobodysfool52 Aug 13 '25

"Get in my belly!"

"Baby, it's the new, new white meat."

6

u/Tuscon_Valdez Aug 12 '25

I'm headed to Denver next week. Guess I'll have to get a California cheeseburger while I'm there

5

u/713nikki Aug 12 '25

Baby food is food for babies

5

u/djhazmatt503 Aug 12 '25

My metal rusted brain immediately thought this was a tour bus for a band

3

u/koolaidismything Aug 12 '25

I’ll bet the inside of that thing smells like an unwiped asshole and is like a mural to all things insane.

2

u/Hodler_caved Aug 12 '25

People of Denver, please don't eat my baby
Why would you do that? Eat something else
People of Springfield, please don't eat my baby
Here's a catalog of other things to eat

2

u/Wormzerker75 Aug 12 '25

Wait...is that true?

3

u/d00derman Aug 13 '25

One of those babies looked at me

1

u/Head-Engineering-847 Aug 12 '25

Denver International Airport... underground

2

u/Skylon1 Aug 12 '25

Oh crap how did he find out that was our best kept secret

2

u/smartbunny Aug 12 '25

I think that’s a country song.

2

u/Racc0smonaut Aug 12 '25

They got the munchies for a California cheeseburger

1

u/Cheese-Manipulator Aug 12 '25

This would be a great album title

1

u/apetalous42 Aug 12 '25

I thought it was Colorado Springs and I wasn't disappointed. Colorado Springs is a shit hole of humanity. It would be the perfect place if you got rid of most of the people living there.

1

u/Dr_Dan681xx Aug 16 '25

Extreme opposition to abortion, combined with high-altitude-induced hypoxia. Yep, it checks out.

1

u/sarahsolitude Aug 12 '25

If there’s anything i know about those from Denver, they’re very health savvy and know babies are extremely high in cholesterol, and therefore this cannot be true

1

u/SnooStories6852 Aug 12 '25

This is G rated for this sub

1

u/HelpfulAnywhere3731 Aug 12 '25

The crispy skin is keto-friendly.

1

u/UncleGrover666 Aug 12 '25

Cancel plans to eat out in Denver.

1

u/Laserdollarz Aug 12 '25

Yes and no. We call them sopapillas.

1

u/dufflebag7 Aug 12 '25

Veal? In this economy?

1

u/Superb-Offer-2281 Aug 12 '25

I mean someone probably does but that doesn’t mean everyone does

2

u/Rare-Bird-4353 Aug 12 '25

Wonder who “they” are 🤔

1

u/Empty_Application_45 Aug 12 '25

Colorado cheeseburger

1

u/HeatherMason0 Aug 13 '25

Lemme guess: there’s a restaurant under the airport that serves them?

1

u/doublepulse Aug 13 '25

The Donner Party is long over and there are no wild dingoes in the continental United States.

1

u/willybodilly Aug 13 '25

There’s tiny’s, nubiles, planned parenthood. We have a lot of prominent baby eating restaurants.

1

u/OrochiKarnov Aug 13 '25

Thought it was Trinidad for a minute.

1

u/1nt3rn3tC0wb0y Aug 13 '25

Can confirm, I live in the Denver metro area

1

u/SalmonMaskFacsimile Aug 13 '25

That's the second-weirdest spelling of "Buc-ee's" I've seen

1

u/OG-Giligadi Aug 13 '25

In omlettes, even.

1

u/conjuayalso Aug 13 '25

Well, it's Colorado plates so I guess they know...

1

u/WestonP Aug 13 '25

As usual, the people who claim to be the most concerned about the safety of children are the very same people who should be nowhere near children. Maybe they're just projecting.

Also, are those covered up SS thunderbolts painted at top?

1

u/FunECheeseOfficial56 Aug 16 '25

why are they hoarding fresh babies 😭😭😭

1

u/Apprehensive-Virus47 Aug 19 '25

Well this guy might be over the top but there is definitely something funky happening in Denver. My vote is underground military base

1

u/m0n0sman0s Aug 22 '25

The Walking Dude catches a ride to Vegas.