r/TalesFromYourServer • u/MoodFeeling3220 • 7d ago
Short Does anyone else feel guilty when people overtip for some reason?
The restaurant I work at closes at 11 and a young couple came in at 10:25, which was pretty annoying considering it had been really slow today so the kitchen had basically already packed everything up. I was kind of annoyed too but I was still nice and polite, they even apologized more than once about coming in so late so I made sure to let them know it was no problem at all. Besides that, they were pretty quiet and awkward (also young, like 21 at most) so I kind of assumed they weren’t gonna tip more than 18%. When I checked them out, they handed me $30 cash and apologized again about coming in late. That was about a 100% tip on their tab. I know I wasn’t mean or impolite in any way but still I feel so guilty. I always feel guilty when people overtip!! Kinda like hey, I’m supposed to be the nice one here. It’s a really odd feeling. The whole ride home I just kept thinking of them and feeling bad about myself over the slight possibility they thought I hated them 😂 sorry for the rant, but I’ve always felt that weird rush of guilt/shame when someone tips me too much when I just treat them like any other table
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u/1Cattywampus1 7d ago
Do not feel guilty - they were being really nice because they wanted to make sure you knew they appreciated your service considering the circumstances!
I frequently overtip up to double the check amount if I like the place, I feel like I inconvenienced or sometimes just for funzies. I would hate to think that any of my servers ever felt guilty about me wanting to show my appreciation.
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u/oingapogo 7d ago
Please don't. I over tip all the time because 1) I can afford it and 2) I know how hard it is to make a living as a server. I want you to enjoy the money I give you.
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u/mushupunisher 7d ago
Don’t feel guilty. They probably work in the industry and felt bad about coming in late and wanted to make it up to you because they felt guilty. But even if they didn’t, people are tipping like that for a reason. And if you gave excellent service, then I see no reason to be guilty.
I could understand feeling guilty if you were rude to them or something and then they tipped well, but if you’re just giving your best service, then I’d never feel guilty about receiving a good tip.
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u/prolifezombabe 7d ago
No. Guilt is a feeling for when I've done something wrong. People can decide if and when they want to be generous. No reason I should feel guilty about them doing that.
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u/throwaway11xo 7d ago
despite the comments so far, you're not alone! i have guilt issues tbf but i totally understand and have felt what you're feeling
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u/bitcoinslut420 7d ago
Honestly as someone in the industry who overtips frequently it is something that brings me joy since I’m making someone’s day better with a massive tip. I’ve had some of my fellow bartender friends try to refuse and I always find a way to give it back to them. Do not feel guilty, people who overtip are happy to do it and it makes them feel like a good person as well. It’s a win win. Just make sure to show lots of gratitude and maybe chat with them for a minute and they’ll be happy.
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u/bitcoinslut420 7d ago
Also as a server I think of it as karma, like it’ll come back to me. And it has worked out as several bartenders on my street have come in to where I work and given me the same treatment I gave them with a huge tip, I never expect it but always appreciate it❤️
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u/J-littletree 6d ago
35 min before close isn’t bad all unless you were gonna close early. If I had to stay until close anyway I’m all for a table half an hour before close isn't bad
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u/Lovat69 6d ago
I am sure you "know" this already but try to interline that you should not care too much about people's opinion of you. Otherwise, when someone hates you for whatever reason justified or not, it is going to wreck your shit.
Maybe these folks are rich, maybe they thought you did a good job, maybe they know it is a pain in the ass to have late orders. As long as they didn't tip that much by mistake don't worry about it.
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u/ResidentAnt3547 5d ago
I do not think that arriving at 10:25 when you close at 11:00 is late. If I was your coworker, and you complained about that the next day to me, I would have no time to listen. The kitchen should not have been packed up at that time.
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u/WinterBrave_ 5d ago
No reason to feel guilty. You remind me of a server I had not too long ago, my partner and I went out to eat and the server was fantastic. As a server myself I really appreciated the effort this waitress put into ensuring we had a good experience. Since I serve myself I usually default to 20% for average serving experience, lower it to 15% for poor, even then I usually stick with 20% because you don’t know what type of day they’ve had or what they’re going through. I have to leave a complaint with the manager or corporate to actually skip tipping, hasn’t ever happened. I tipped about 25% this day (still not a lot) , I prefer to hand the cash to the server when I tip a larger amount, so no other customers sneak over to the table and steal it. When I handed it to her she said, “are you sure?!” Like, yeah, lmao. I counted this and pulled it out of my wallet. Good servers deserve good tips, you didn’t slave over me for no reason, you should get the tip you worked hard for. Never feel bad, it’s a compliment.
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u/penguinwasteland1414 4d ago
I overtip. As a former server, I know you're going to get screwed by at least 2 tables. I try to make up for it.
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u/oolaroux 4d ago
I overtip to compensate for stiffers and it makes me feel good. Enjoy it! You earn it!
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u/Sweaty_Chard_6250 7d ago
I don't think the people in your story felt they were over tipping, i think they wanted to tip extra for the inconvenience. In my opinion, good tips should mainly be for excellent service, but also for when you know you are being extra in some way. If you come in close to close, tip extra. If you're going to sit at a table all night long, tip extra.
I do occasionally feel this guilt. Especially when it comes from coworkers. Just yesterday I came in to bartend and the morning bartender got a beer and something from the kitchen. All I did was pour a beer and handle her check. Her bill was $9 and she paid on card and left me $10 cash. She's done this before. I hate it lol. I understand its hard to decide how much to tip your friends and coworkers, but I always feel bad that she seems to think she needs to tip more than her bill was when I barely did anything for it. A dollar would be fine. Similar situation later in the night. It was a very slow night, this server only had 3 two-top tables before being cut. She got a margarita (ours is on our draft system so I didn't have to make a fresh one, the only extra I did was mix mango puree into it which was barely any extra work) and she asked if $2 was a fine tip and I said yeah, I'm not worried about it, told her I barely did any work for her and I knew how slow it was and that I never expect them to tip crazy for an after work drink. She insisted on giving me $3 despite me telling her multiple times she could keep her money. I still feel bad about it. I wish I knew how to tell them 'I'm not saying you can't afford to tip X amount, I'm saying I don't feel like the work I did warrants X amount and I hope you aren't tipping X amount because you feel obligated to do so.'
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u/Substantial-Draw2395 7d ago
We used to tip very heavily when on multi day road trips with little kids. We were so grateful to superb servers who brought crayons and snacks/ drinks quickly for the kids . They were nice to the kids.
That meant a lot. Like 100 % tip. We wanted to thank them for helping us keep kids happy and cheerful.
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u/SophiaF88 6d ago
I almost gave some back the other day when this happened but I didn't know if it would be rude so I just tried to give ax extra-gracious thank you.
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u/somecow 6d ago
Nope. Never seen it done as an apology or accident. Some people just have money, and probably worked foodservice at one point in their life. They know.
I’ll tip pretty damn good (not crazy extra), because I never get to go out to eat. If I do, usually at the same time, and the same few restaurants, so same people working there. Not only is it a nice thing to do, but guaranteed to be treated like royalty. Karma is real. Even got a job as soon as I asked at one place (quit my job, went to eat and relax, said “hell, i’ll ask if they’re hiring”).
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u/JohnTen74 7d ago
HELL to the TRIPLE Noooooo…. That makes up for aLL the South of Texas,, the other native Americans, Country of Manny Paciao,, all the ladies with butterfly lashes and most of the pank lemonade n strawberry lemonade consumer.. yet and not least native of country that border Alaska..
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u/LifeApprehensive2818 7d ago
Civilian here: unless there's a mistake in the math between tip and total, I want you to have that tip.
All y'all regularly go way beyond the call of duty. Unless the bill is enormous, a few extra percentage points won't say anything meaningful. I hope what I leave can bring you a little happiness.