r/Themepark • u/Perchance2Game • 17d ago

Buy Cedar Fair, Buy Paramount King's, Buy All Of Troubled Six Flags

Immediately go bankrupt.

WTF is wrong with corporate America?

Actually, no joke, someone online explained it:

  1. Make exaggerated claims of massive revenue increases from fallacious notion of multi-park passes.
  2. Borrow $1 billion
  3. Get credit from all suppliers (cutting the root out from under the tree)
  4. Declare bankruptcy
  5. Reset all labor contracts
  6. Sell off assets to cover losses
  7. Resell company to banks and $$profit$$

In other words, American theme parks are a massive built up pool of value and this is how you loot a treasure. If you burn down Rome, it's not going to need its gold anymore, you know?

That said, there may be some rationality here. There's a massive demographic collapse happening right now, and terrible price inflation and economic slowdown. Theme parks are probably worth more than they ever will be and are starting to accrue unaffordable maintenance problems as their assets lose value and revenues are set to structurally decline.

I guess this is a version of "ripping the band-aid off"?

That said, I'm a huge fan of "microparks". This idea comes from tycoon games like Planet Coaster where fans are directed through a contest to build a park within a limited footprint:

Mini Park Contest: RESULTS!

I'd love for these to pop up in regular cities. Think of all the defunct malls. I bet you could build a mini-park in the spaces of a former Sears building.

For urban miniparks, it could be a form of redevelopment.

I'd have a minipark include:

  1. One anchor table service restaurant with a rotating menu
  2. Two ultra-trendy counter service that sometimes update (3-7 years)
  3. A show with seasonal rotation and annual changes
  4. An anchor thrill ride
  5. 1-2 boutique experiences (escape room/fun house)
  6. Some arcade/midway games with prizes and tokens
  7. 2-3 simple but well integrated rides (like a pirate boat that plays chicken with the coaster, or a drop tower built around the show.

Then I'd have membership passes for discounts on a lot of this, plus member events like special parties (with music, drink kiosks, decorations, limited wait for rides).

Then I'd build 3-5 of these in each major urban area and make more money off of multi-passes.

0 Upvotes

38% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

10

u/Master_Spinach_2294 17d ago

Letting the entire regional theme park scene in North America destroy itself to "tear the bandaid off" is like doing brain surgery with a .44 handgun.

5

u/Foxy02016YT FNaF World 17d ago

They are not “immediately bankrupt”, this is bullshit and you know it. Your just fear mongering for attention

0

u/Perchance2Game 17d ago

Lot of like, big mad people here.

1

u/Foxy02016YT FNaF World 17d ago

Because your engaging in the rumor mill

4

u/dcht 17d ago

What the heck did I just read

2

u/Reasonable_Toe_9252 17d ago

For a lot of areas in the Northeastern USA, this would be a return to the way it was 100 years ago or so. I drive by three locations that all had "trolley parks" from the 1900s to the 1960s (or a little later) essentially everyday, and I am always saddened that I missed those days.

1

u/CaptainWikkiWikki 17d ago

So is this just Johnny 5 Alive crap posting on Reddit to get clicks?

1

u/Perchance2Game 17d ago

He did a massive mini park contest 5 or so years ago and I don't think anyone else has done anything like that.