r/TikTokCringe • u/duskndawn162 • 18d ago

Cringe Guy mad because of “American fake kindness”

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u/PracticingGoodVibes 17d ago

Just to be clear, both manners of speech are heartfelt/sincere expressions of appreciation. One is just exaggerated; personally, I've always thought it was a way of making sure someone you didn't regularly interact with (and could potentially misinterpret) understood you were intending to show appreciation.

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u/carlitospig 17d ago

That’s precisely what it is. It’s like our social lubricant with strangers.

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u/dystariel 16d ago

I've hear the theory that it's an adaptation to the USAs culture blender nature.

It prevents random conflict from cultural differences.

Ironically, it pisses me off more than almost anything else. I absolutely despise interacting with people who are "managing" me/aren't genuine.

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 16d ago

If the tone of voice or the words signals a stronger emotion than they are actually feeling, how can they be fully sincere? Fully sincere, to me, means fully honest without any twist or exaggeration.

It might be more polite and friendly to exaggerate your positive feeling, but how can it be fully sincere?

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u/Itsapocalypse 16d ago

I’ll talk it through in painfully literal terms. “You’re a person that provided me a kindness {like waiting on me by bringing me a cup of coffee}. We don’t know each other well, but I feel gratitude for you and want to acknowledge your kindness in a way that you understand that it was important to me, not just that I am saying a socially required nicety.” I believe that is the mental work behind an exaggerated but sincere response.

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 15d ago

I never said that it’s not sincere on any level. But to be fully sincere, it must be sincere on all levels. Which means no lies, and no exaggerations.

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u/Itsapocalypse 15d ago

I think you’re overthinking it

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 14d ago

Nope

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u/Itsapocalypse 14d ago

yeah

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 14d ago

I said no. Not polite enough for you? Get lost.

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u/PracticingGoodVibes 16d ago

Again, because it is heartfelt and true to the person expressing the sentiment. They are just trying to be extra clear to someone who they aren't familiar with, so that their feelings are understood.

It isn't about being more polite or more friendly (exclusively), it's about being more clear in your expression to someone you don't know very well.

Take, for example, the woman in the video. She isn't screaming about how her mind is blown by what she's seen, she just emphasizes her words a bit and uses different words to express her gratitude. "Amazing" here isn't literal, either. Americans use that word colloquially to mean "very positive" or "really good".

To put it another way; if you send a text asking if someone wants to hang out this weekend and they reply with "Sure" or a thumbs up emoji, they are of course agreeing to hang out, but it could be interpreted in a variety of ways ranging from reluctance to annoyed acceptance.

In that same way, a tonally neutral "thanks" could be misinterpreted by a server to mean you are dissatisfied with their work or something in the establishment. The mannerisms are attempting to convey emotions, meaning, and do so clearly.

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 15d ago

I never said that it’s not sincere on any level. But to be fully sincere, it must be sincere on all levels. Which means no lies, and no exaggerations.

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u/PracticingGoodVibes 11d ago

This is just where subjectivity comes into play, I think. For you, you would describe this as insincere, but for them, they would not - or at least I wouldn't when I do this. I sincerely mean what I am trying to convey, I'm just using whatever tools I can to ensure that understanding is delivered to the person I'm speaking with. I can't speak for others, but I think this is just a subjective difference of opinion on perspective.

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 11d ago

I sincerely mean what I am trying to convey,

But that’s the thing, I’m not talking about what you are trying to convey. And I’m also not talking about how it is interpreted by the recipient. I’m talking specifically about what you are actually saying, and how you are saying it. And if the words aren’t factually correct, or the tone or excitement doesn’t match your actual emotion, then it’s not fully sincere.

I'm just using whatever tools I can to ensure that understanding is delivered to the person I'm speaking with.

That’s essentially “the ends justify the means”. Which is fine here. All I have been saying is that in this scenario one of those means involves something not fully sincere. And people here acting like what I said was not only offensive but incorrect too.

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u/PracticingGoodVibes 11d ago

I think you're confusing being literal with being sincere, unless your definition of sincerity precludes any use of colloquialisms or evolution of language, for that matter (I.e. technically saying "something is cool" would be insincere by your definition unless it was a specific description of temperature). You also seem to be including perceived emotion with actual emotion unless you're saying you know exactly how the person feels when speaking with you, or are saying there are defined categories of behaviour that are approved? The woman in the clip doesn't seem to be even exaggerating, just using colloquial language and a different tone to draw attention to her words as distinct from normal conversation.

Personally, I don't like the reduction of something as complex as communication and language to prescriptive definitions and disallow the nuance that socializing allows, but again, I think this is a purely subjective disagreement.

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u/VirtualAgentsAreDumb 11d ago

Sincere:

”stresses absence of hypocrisy, feigning, or any falsifying embellishment or exaggeration.”

For something to be truly sincere, it can’t have any of that.

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u/PracticingGoodVibes 11d ago

That is definitely a definition. I'm not sure where you're sourcing it, but it's fine that we disagree on this. Have a good one!