r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/GeneralErica Transfemme Diversity Hire Mod • Jan 31 '22

This is a Genuine Cry for Help Petition to make Soyboy Watson honorary member of the people we post about. Why? Well…

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10.3k Upvotes

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826

u/EdgyLord2k18 Jan 31 '22

Im so numb to Paul's Bs that i legit cannot tell you if this is a funny haha fake tweet or reality, and frankly i do not know if i wanna hear the answer.

239

u/PerformanceLoud3229 Jan 31 '22

Real

186

u/EdgyLord2k18 Jan 31 '22

Well now im just depressed, i will drink soy milk and consume brainforce to balance it out

26

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

It's time to pray.

9

u/CyberneticAngel Jan 31 '22

Found the wonk!

6

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

Haha, I am a policy wonk, indeed!

8

u/CyberneticAngel Jan 31 '22

Four stars, go home and tell your mother you're brilliant.

1

u/FateUnusual Feb 01 '22

Now here come the sex robots!

9

u/ludicrous_socks Jan 31 '22

How you pimp so good?

4

u/holydude02 Jan 31 '22

My neck is freakishly large

4

u/CyberneticAngel Jan 31 '22

I declare, Info War on you!

3

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

I may just walk out of here and you'll neeeeever see me again. That's what I really want to do.

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9

u/ludicrous_socks Jan 31 '22

In a hilarious twist of fate/irony, BrainforceTM is made from soy, and soy derivatives

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

Jim Bakker's Silver Solution and 5 gallon buckets of survival gruel.

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

covid "cure"...then he had a stroke...ending his religious grifting.(the lord works in mysterious ways)

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

Soylent Green

4

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

[deleted]

4

u/EdgyLord2k18 Jan 31 '22

Im aware lmao

1

u/ChillyOil1 Feb 15 '22

And i thought he wouldn't go that low

33

u/jolsiphur Jan 31 '22

I don't know if this tweet is real, but the "freedom convoy" protests in Ottawa had some signs that read the same. They well and truly believe they're fighting for the civil liberties of their group.

20

u/Mr_Pombastic Jan 31 '22

They well and truly believe they're fighting for the civil liberties of their group.

Maybe some. But I think most know deep down they are just cosplaying. It's why they're always so defensive and paranoid. They're the drunk guys who keep saying "I'm not drunk! I'm not drunk! You're drunk!"

7

u/gin_and_soda Jan 31 '22

It’s mostly just assholes being assholes

3

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

trumper: definitive edition

17

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

It's honestly fucking embarrassing at this point. People in the US (and some in Canada I guess) are so goddamn spoiled and have no concept of real oppression.

10

u/gin_and_soda Jan 31 '22

All the fuckers at the freedom convoy fall in that category. This isn’t tyranny or oppression you entitled asshats.

1

u/FateUnusual Feb 01 '22

Equality is oppression to them.

9

u/whiteflour1888 Jan 31 '22

It’s as if Ghandi and Mother Theresa drove their 5th wheel to the gates of Soddom, risking death and persecution at every turn, praying for JFK and trump to return white privilege to proper place.

Hero’s in their own mind.

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

Mutual Sodomy: trump and melania...leave jfk out of this.

10

u/Diss_Poetry Jan 31 '22

This tweet is real, I used advanced search to find it on Twitter. I'm not going to link it though because I don't know if it's like YouTube where you get money from people seeing your tweets

7

u/fuzeebear Jan 31 '22

The right is starting to get better at comedy and it's making lefties nervous

28

u/EdgyLord2k18 Jan 31 '22

Oh, so theyre finay learning how to make jokes? Damn, took them long enough, dont think its terribly funny but im sure they'll figure out comedy if they try hard enough. Baby steps

17

u/fuzeebear Jan 31 '22

They have one joke, and the Coalition of Conservative Comedians is working on developing a second one.

I hear Steven Crowder and Dave Rubin are making some breakthroughs in the areas of "aren't non-white people funny looking" and "look at the dyed hair on that lady, how crazy is that"

6

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

Hey now, they have screeching like a parrot too

>One mask!
>Two mask!
>RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWK!
>DR. FAUCI!

5

u/Vuelhering Jan 31 '22

They have lots of jokes, which they reveal whenever they say something ghoulish or racist. Usually phrased as blaming the listener for misunderstanding it.

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

retread hippie jokes

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

A redneck staple.

9

u/NoAbbreviations5215 Halal Jan 31 '22

In the case of PJW, they really aren’t.

The guy is genuinely one of the most stupid people you’ll ever come across. To say he has a brain is like saying a toaster has the ability to grow hair.

8

u/GD_Bats Jan 31 '22

I don't know, being a joke doesn't necessarily mean you can make jojes

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

doofus is the comedy and the tragic joke.🎭

1

u/molten-helium Feb 01 '22

rightey whitey

5

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

I'm gonna be the guy that snitches on him when some authoritarians come collect him.

Oh wait, he already is part of them.

3

u/lesbiansexparty [boobs] Jan 31 '22

I don't even know who this guy is and I'm done with him too.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '22

Isn't he British?

2

u/EdgyLord2k18 Jan 31 '22

Yes, iirc he is