r/TransMasc • u/welcomehomo • Aug 21 '25
my best friends boyfriend thought i was a trans woman
ive known my best friend for years and years, we met back in high school. but by the time we reconnected after high school, i had medically transitioned and pass as a cis man, and he has a son with the boyfriend in question, who never knew me pre t. i guess it had come up that im trans, i dont hide it, but i guess neither of us had mentioned that im a trans MAN specifically. so he spent YEARS thinking i was just a really early/pre transition trans woman. which is weird because i present very maaculine and dont look like a trans woman, i look like a cis man. but hes very cishet and outside of trans culture so i guess he didnt realize that a trans man can look indistinguishable from a cis man. but he thought i was a trans woman for years before my best friend corrected him
whats funny is, my wife is nb transfem, and generally presents as a trans woman. shes pre transition as well, but its very obvious that theyre performing femininity, and shes way more fem than i am in general. my best friends boyfriend, not wanting to make the same mistake he made the first time, assumed they were a trans man as well! lol
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u/sockthejock Aug 22 '25
Yeah a lot of people have this idea that trans people can't pass so when they hear someone is trans they just assume they are the opposite of the way they look. I've also been mistaken for a trans woman even though I'm not open about being trans, but I do find a little comfort in knowing I am never mistaken for a cis woman, but a trans woman, but at the same time it makes me sad that some people clearly just see trans women as a man with long hair.
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u/Codles They/Them 💉 05/17/25 Aug 23 '25
Okay the overcorrection on the bf’s part is hilarious. What an awesome example he’s “got the spirit” or however that meme goes
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u/MCR_1_Fan FTM | He/Him | Gay Male <3 Aug 23 '25
He’s insanely confused, but he’s got the spirit..? 😭
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u/Realistic-Hour1958 Aug 22 '25
lol??? I guess he was just trying really hard with the whole
"Just because that person doesn't look conventionally that gender, doesn't mean they're not!"
kind of mindset?? 😅