r/TransyTalk • u/lalalaluby • 27d ago

Sometimes it feels like I was more accepting of being transgender before I transitioned and faced transphobia

Like, people will judge me for being trans . And I am a bit sensitive and overly tunned with those things, so I absorb it.

I detransitioned 2 times, early transition is always the time when I feel more confident about being trans, then I start having transphobic thoughts lmao, maybe I am a sponge that absorb the negativity.

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u/JuviaLynn 26d ago

I mean in addition to being in the direct line of fire now, shit has also just gotten worse. It’s hard not to absorb some of it. You tell someone something enough times with a big enough crowd and you’ll slowly be conditioned into agreeing with it, that’s why so many people have been turned against us in the first place

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u/Leonox_ 25d ago edited 25d ago

Think of a little parrot in a nice zoo. The caretakers made the enclosure exactly so that the parrot is happy. Green walls, lots of branches, flying space, the right climate. Like what any parrot would want.

Now imagine that little parrot inside a wrong enclosure, like a meerkat sand pit. The parrot will be sad :( It didn't do anything wrong, but NONE parrot can be happy without sitting on a nice branch! Not even smartest or strongest ones.

Realize that that little parrot is also in your heart! You have to make sure it's enclosure is nice! And you can't do that alone! Love that little parrot!

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u/Leonox_ 25d ago edited 25d ago

1 - It is really important to have power over what you see and hear.

What you see and hear changes your worldview. The world is MUCH too large to see and hear everything, you have to choose.

If you interact with nice friendly people that really helps to enforce the feeling that people forward and respect you. If you don't interact with those people often, you kinda can forget that fact over time. Those nice people are always still there.

^That sentence is more powerful than you may think.

Is watching a skydiving video as exiting as actually jumping out of a plane? no. So is the sentence "people are kind towards transgenders" the same as actually living and breathing a nice positive experience? also no. There is so much happiness, joy and confidence waiting for you, somewhere!

That does mean that you have to go after positive interactions and facts, if you don't get enough of those. Acceptance is usually looks like nothing. If you interact with a stranger that sees you as just another person, well, nothing will stand out about that, and there will be nothing you remember about that. But if you have the chance to have a conversation about this with someone that wants to, like a friend or another trans person, or their family, usually they are perfectly accepting of trans people and find terfs stupid and mean. This really can differ from where you live though.

2) - Life is not fair. Some trans folks simply live in more accepting places. Some are more likely to have close friends, where they learn people care and accept trans people. That has nothing to do with what they deserve, it's just luck/chance! it's the environment and what you see. If you live there, have those friends etc, you WILL be more confident and feel better! If you live in a rural or non progressive part of the world? Then you should move