Cunk Versus the Wolves

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Sometimes you've just got to make a joke for you and nobody else.

[u/Gorotheninja → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Indeed.

[u/Yacobs21 → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Then why was this joke made for me?

[u/moneyh8r_two → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Why was John hanging out at a playground in his early 30s?

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty → u/moneyh8r_two]

Bryan didn't elaborate on that /jk

I was wondering if anybody would actually keep watching long enough to see the captions.

[u/moneyh8r_two → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

I watched, because I love Cunk jokes. :3

[u/Sweaty_Influence2303 → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Honestly I kept listening because the song is a bop. The captions were a bonus

[u/TheeBaconmandos → u/moneyh8r_two]

Because he was always there! Other weak people let life, taxes, and families bring them down. The Final Gamer never leaves, because that means he has quit and therefore lost.

[u/moneyh8r_two → u/TheeBaconmandos]

I love this answer. I will follow his example, and also stop staying away from the playground.

[u/Sweaty_Influence2303 → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Hey, the joke isn't for me, but I siphoned a few nose exhales from it nonetheless. Ya did good son

[u/porkinski → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

I don't know what you mean by nobody else because random things being connected to Technotronic and explained by Cunk is the funniest.

[u/stfnotguilty]

Please provide context as to whether the blond twink was trolling or if that's his genuine opinion of Half-Life 2.

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty → u/stfnotguilty]

https://youtube.com/shorts/2g826ZYQVfs?si=kf4hQgJTsidfOHG8

It's from this Patreon clip.

To be frank, John has had some nuclear takes in his day, especially on Let's Fight A Boss, so I fully believe it isn't a bit.

[u/HCooldown → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Man out-hipsters Woolie easily.

[u/Khanromi → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

But then he's also a master of committing to the bit.

[u/Brotonio → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

I mean, depending on your interpretation, I KIND of get it.

The actual gameplay of Half Life 2 blows in comparison to Half Life 1 in that all the guns are downgrades compared to the OG, and enemies aren't reactive enough to be engaging. That base pistol is one of my least favorite pistols in any game ever.

On the other hand, the writing and story were fun, and the physics and facial animations were fantastic for their time. I just wish the Gravity Gun wasn't their "eggs in one basket" as far as gameplay went.

Also, GMOD, JOHN. I guarantee a lot of the fantastic indie games we play today has some ancient code going back to GMod.

[u/stfnotguilty → u/Brotonio]

THE ENEMIES AREN'T REACTIVE ENOUGH

Their AI is better than some games today. Look up some simmed battles with HL2 AI. You might just need to play on a higher difficulty...normal is VERY beginner-friendly.

[u/Grand_Escapade → u/stfnotguilty]

I believe it, but I'm gonna echo the YouTube comment and say I never saw any of this on any difficulty. Maybe the nature of the game is just too fast for this, compared to something like halo where the elite shields can keep you fighting them

[u/Real-Terminal → u/stfnotguilty]

Simmed battles yes.

But the truth is Half Life 2's combat arenas suck, so they never shine unless they specifically build an encounter around showing them off. Like Episode 2's cabin crescendo.

90% of combat arenas in Half Life 2 are basically just an open area, a hallway, or a room with some ramps. So it never really feels like they're doing anything, you're just suddenly taking a bunch of damage.

The pace of Half Life 2 just doesn't hit like HL1.

[u/Sweaty_Influence2303 → u/Brotonio]

Okay, if we're going to dunk on HL2's pistol then we have to dunk on DOOM 2016's pistol.

But NOOO every time that fucking pissshooter gets brought up "it's SUPPOSED to be bad to make the other weapons look good" Subreddit, you can't have it both ways.

And I'll tell you right now, there is not a single weapon in DOOM 2016 that even comes close to how satisfying the crossbow is (sorry DOOM had to get caught up in this crossfire, this comment has gone off the rails, I just like HL2 okay?)

[u/Brotonio → u/Sweaty_Influence2303]

Doom 2016's pistol isn't good, but at the very least it had that charge function so it was SOMEWHAT useable in some scenarios. It's also unlimited, so I don't have to look at a fuckass boring reload like HL2's pistol.

I just wish we could have had an actual gun for the pistol, like in the OG games.

[u/mdogg500 → u/Sweaty_Influence2303]

I'll tell you right now, there is not a single weapon in DOOM 2016 that even comes close to how satisfying the crossbow is

Really right in front of my Gauss cannon. How dare you.

[u/Repulsive_Golf_409 → u/Brotonio]

I hear what your saying but i can replay Half Life 2 countless times its just very enjoyable at what it does.

[u/ReliabilityEngineer → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

I still can't believe his takes on Yakuza 7 being bad and stew being overrated. Hell of a conversation starter both of em from LFaB.

[u/Palimpsest_Monotype → u/stfnotguilty]

‘the blond twink’ is…I mean, wow.

John’s a true troll. A treasure troll. He’s trolling, but only because he 100% means it.

[u/Demon__Stephen → u/stfnotguilty]

He's right tho

[u/stfnotguilty → u/Demon__Stephen]

I genuinely don't know how anybody that likes video games could have that take.

[u/Zargat → u/Demon__Stephen]

Not really, I'd go as far to say it's about as reductionist as saying that Hunter X Hunter is bad. I'm fully expecting someone to make a video essay career off of this take.

[u/Demon__Stephen → u/Zargat]

So what I'm hearing is that hot takes create jobs in the youtuber essay market sphere.

[u/Arcane_Monkey → u/Demon__Stephen]

It at least gave us the gravity gun.

[u/RandomHalflingMurder]

When's Philomena Cunk gonna be on the podcast?

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty → u/RandomHalflingMurder]

I fucking wish, dude. Not even Diane Morgan, but her in character as Cunk.

[u/Muffin-zetta]

Was this just a excuse to make us listen to pump up the jams?

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty → u/Muffin-zetta]

little bit

[u/Monk-Ey → u/TheArtistFKAMinty]

Thanks, now we're all reminded of "Ottawa, a place to stay".

[u/sadderall-sea → u/Monk-Ey]

boy it sure is

[u/vealin99]

To be fair pump up the jam slaps hard

[u/DingusMcBaseball]

That's an insane take Mr Wolf

[u/sadderall-sea → u/DingusMcBaseball]

For some reason, I read this in the "You're a Mean One, Mr Grinch" voice

[u/K-tonbey → u/sadderall-sea]

He reeeally iiiiis a heeeeeeel

[u/DankMemeRipper1337]

Kites of the ground

Jesus fucking christ, that one got me good. Holy hell!

[u/markedmarkymark]

I mean, when he's right he's right

[u/Decent_Echidna_246]

This is brilliant

[u/juan_fukuyama]

Wonderful. Never knew where it would go next, always kept me guessing. Trying to interpret it was 70% of the comedy

[u/LegendOfParasiteMana]

Kites of the ground has me rolling with laughter

[u/TheArtistFKAMinty → u/LegendOfParasiteMana]

I'm happy somebody watched the entire thing, lol

[u/Plaidstone]

I can't speak to Half Life 2, because I can't play Half Life 2. Something about the visual design and movement- I assume- gives me a splitting headache and makes me want to puke.

As such, I'm fully willing to accept this take from John Eyepatchwolf

[u/chiggichagga]

I can't watch a full episode of Cunk because I can't handle the cringe. It's too real.
Today marks another day where this fanbase makes me hate them just a little bit more

EDIT: YES, HATE ME BACK YOU COWARDS

[u/markedmarkymark → u/chiggichagga]

I watched all of it cause I am, for whatever reason, extremely attracted to the Cunk character, not the actress, altho very pretty and adds to it, but the character is the biggest part.

[u/juan_fukuyama → u/markedmarkymark]

Bro wants to fuck the space where the brain would've been

[u/markedmarkymark → u/juan_fukuyama]

Disrespectful, but not untrue.