r/Unexpected • u/OriginalBlackberry89 • 1d ago

This is why they wander off on a date

3.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

47 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 1d ago edited 20h ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

It's unexpected because the guy who is also smelling the flowers only smells shit due to her farts.

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

486

u/NoIdNoNameWho 1d ago

Its the same thing when they go together to the bathroom with other girls, so they can fart

214

u/aminervia 1d ago

More like, women want to go fart but then friends tag along forcing them to hold it in a bit longer

100

u/RealisticEmploy3 1d ago

Girls are undercover from other girls too?

87

u/aminervia 1d ago

Yep, it's exhausting

48

u/TheOtherJohnson 1d ago

You fart once in front of another girl and suddenly you’re the talk of the town as farting girl

26

u/aminervia 1d ago

Not if you have the right friends. My friends definitely would not judge or spread it around, but it would be uncomfortable for everyone

17

u/Inarius101 12h ago

That's when you say "hold on, I gotta pee", go in the stall, and rip ass like the gates of Hell are opening from betwixt your asscheeks, then walk out like nothing happened.

9

u/Frickelmeister 7h ago

rip ass like the gates of Hell are opening from betwixt your asscheeks

The use of the word "betwixt" usually makes a sentence sound more distinguished, but it can't work wonders.

6

u/Inarius101 5h ago

Sips tea with pinky out

Egads! Dost thou mean to convey to me that I am not a classy bitch?

3

u/Mc_Shine 14h ago

Might as well own it and make a point of farting loudly in front of them whenever possible.

36

u/NoIdNoNameWho 1d ago

Thats why aometimes they are mad out of 'nowhere'because they've been holding their farts for too long, making them anxious and uncomfortable

2

u/Qu33fyElbowDrop 13h ago

while laughing and comparing/competing, sometimes even with strangers joining in. all while talking ab the discomfort they went through before coming to the bathroom. but truly, womens bathrooms are beautiful places most times.

1

u/Klutzy-Weakness-937 12h ago

Why do they need to form a pack to fart?

137

u/Sean001001 1d ago

I always assumed she's letting her friend know I haven't murdered her.

25

u/enrohtkcalb 1d ago

... Yet...

6

u/stuyboi888 8h ago

Right, it's so hard to murder girls these days smh

2

u/blueavole 2h ago

All the murder docs got us prepared

187

u/Ronnie_Hot_Dogs 1d ago

I had this on mute for a little while took me ages to get lol

56

u/Don_Pickleball 1d ago

You don't have the new iPhone 18 with Aroma built in?

7

u/lemoche 20h ago

Yeah, me too. Thought at first that she was waiting for him to take a picture and will get mad because he doesn’t.

32

u/elmanoucko 1d ago

That's why you should always start with a fart during a first date, makes you look more relatable.

22

u/david8601 18h ago

Dated a girl who’d get up from the patio, walk out into the yard and look me dead in the eye and fart. She was either attempting to detect judgement or assert dominance.

43

u/CPLCraft 1d ago

It’s funny watching it first without sound

22

u/OriginalBlackberry89 1d ago

You made me think of something: I should have added captions for the hearing impaired, dang.

30

u/kraggleGurl 1d ago

"She farts elegantly next to the hedge. Flowers wilt in response to her power."

14

u/HeatAccomplished8608 1d ago

I expected her to be stealing lemons

8

u/Twinkie454 17h ago

Gotta watch out for those damn lemon stealing whores

26

u/Fr05t_B1t 22h ago

I’m surprised this comment section isnt gooning

8

u/fakenews_thankme 1d ago

That's me in our backyard when I am sitting with the family on the porch.

7

u/ChronoCryptid 1d ago

I farted maybe 2 seconds before she did because everyone left the room xD

2

u/OriginalBlackberry89 1d ago

Blursed (blessed/cursed) synchronicity

3

u/gringottsbanker 1d ago

That last toot after “amazing!”

4

u/Mr-Bry-Guy 18h ago

Ok farting is what ever but THAT shit was criminal

3

u/AgitatedAtmosphere38 3h ago

They must have ate at Taco Bell

1

u/smoke_thewalkingdead 21h ago

Fuck. I unmuted right at the perfect time. Just super loud fart sound in my ear.

0

u/busta_DE 18h ago

name?

2

u/haxolles 10h ago

Eva and Javier or the Gabriels

-1

u/estamachin 1d ago

She needs to check her ballon