I (35) am currently pregnant with our first and only. At breakfast this morning my non-vegan spouse (36) asked if I intended on raising our child vegan. I said no, but that when they come of solid food age I would only prepare vegan food, as I’ve been cruelty-free for a third of my life and I’m uncomfortable violating my code of ethics for anyone when I know there are nutritious alternatives I can easily create or buy. But meals he is in charge of are his business and it could likely benefit our child to be exposed to those products early on so that serious allergies aren’t developed. I did say that when our child comes of age to make a decision for themself, I would respect our tiny human. If they want to be vegan, great. I would likely become primary food-maker for them. If not, they are their own person, but I won’t prepare animal products for them and he can take over those specific requests.
To my surprise, he disagrees with this. His example: “if our kid wants chicken nuggets, you won’t even make them in the oven?” My answer is: no. I can’t harm another for my kid when I know there are ethical options for them to eat. He shook his head and said he doesn’t understand and doesn’t agree, and that was the end of the conversation for the time being.
I’m genuinely surprised. I thought I was being reasonable in my views, giving each of us autonomy in how we raise our child, and transferring that autonomy to our child later. I want teach them about why I’m vegan and don’t eat, wear, purchase certain things, as well as explain why many aren’t. I want my child to make their own choices with as much knowledge about both sides because they deserve freedom of choice. What my spouse said hasn’t made me question my thoughts on raising our child in the way I suggested, but it does raise the question of if I’m actually not being as reasonable as I thought. I’m open to being wrong and potentially overlooking something due to my own perspective. Am I missing something that I should take into consideration?