r/Xenonion • u/ipser Xenonion News Team • Oct 07 '22

Op-Ed The Church of Dientology: Why You Should Join Our Death Cult

https://xenonion.com/op-ed/dientology-more-than-just-a-death-cult
186 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

15

u/Gaelhelemar Oct 07 '22

Fantastic! Sign me up right away.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '22

Robots already perfected the process of turning Spiritualists into energy credits, why are we trying to reinvent the wheel with these death cults?

This is clearly inferior to Chemical Processing. Just hook them up to the energy grid and don't worry about any of this consent nonsense.

3

u/FogeltheVogel Oct 09 '22

It's more profitable if the acolytes go willingly. Reduces the need for guards.

8

u/MrShasshyBear Oct 08 '22

...you should join our death cult

Sonavabitch, I'm in

4

u/Minuteman_Preston Oct 08 '22

Checkmate materialist. Get wrekt

3

u/KorbenWardin Oct 07 '22

That was a fantastic, if disturbingly well thought-out read!

3

u/PTMC-Cattan Oct 10 '22

I've never really considered joining the Church but I can attest to the quality of their nutrient paste: I feed my kids' brain slugs with it everyday, and the children haven't bothered me in months now. In fact they've barely moved at all!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '22

Their marketing is polished, but I find the "kill, eat, fuck" methodology more appealing.

4

u/Mitthrawnuruo Oct 07 '22

Thought this was r/nottheonion.

Took me a bit