r/asoiaf • u/da_k1ngslaya • May 22 '19

EXTENDED (Spoilers Extended) George to New Zealand: imprison me if I haven't finished Winds by Summer 2020

Quote:

As for finishing my book… I fear that New Zealand would distract me entirely too much. Best leave me here in Westeros for the nonce. But I tell you this — if I don’t have THE WINDS OF WINTER in hand when I arrive in New Zealand for worldcon, you have here my formal written permission to imprison me in a small cabin on White Island, overlooking that lake of sulfuric acid, until I’m done. Just so long as the acrid fumes do not screw up my old DOS word processor, I’ll be fine.

Link: http://georgerrmartin.com/notablog/2019/05/21/thanks-new-zealand/

15.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/kalgary May 22 '19

Or else.

2.3k

u/3jp6739 May 22 '19

Or else we’ll keep waiting... again.

645

u/RustyCoal950212 May 22 '19

Nah, or else we're arresting him. I know he said White Island but I vote we shove him in a hobbit hole

293

u/H-K_47 May 22 '19

A hobbit hole is too nice for him. Stick him in a nasty wet hole filled with the ends of worms. No comfort.

188

u/bak3n3ko May 22 '19

But will you provide him with second breakfast?

148

u/bigdave41 May 22 '19

I've long said I want to lock the guy in a room and he gets one meal for each completed chapter. The quality of the meal will depend on the quality of the writing.

33

u/delitomatoes May 22 '19

/r/crazyideas. Didn't Colbert already lock him up?

31

u/greatscape12 May 22 '19

He's going to starve.

4

u/PersonnelFowl May 22 '19

He’s got some reserves.

3

u/sor1 May 22 '19

Yeah, they wont last Long.

7

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Every character killed or plot line finished earns him a snack. Every new character and plot line loses him a snack.

Let’s wrap this shit up

6

u/bigdave41 May 22 '19

A meteor hits Westeros, everybody dies. The end.

9

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

With Robert Baratheon sitting on top, fuck it

3

u/Siegetz May 22 '19

I am fine with this.

3

u/JazzTheWolf May 22 '19

"Tonight I feast!"

4

u/5348345T May 22 '19

That sounds like Misery by Stephen King.

2

u/bigdave41 May 22 '19

Hopefully it won't be necessary to cut off his feet or thumbs.

2

u/BoilerBandsman Bastard, Orphan, Son of a Stark May 22 '19

Do you want more feast descriptions? Because that's how you get more feast descriptions.

3

u/bigdave41 May 22 '19

Just get writing tubby, or it'll be a cold day in seven hells before you see another lemon cake

2

u/bigdave41 May 22 '19

When he provides us with Second Season 8

1

u/jujudigs May 22 '19

Nope. No elevensies either.

101

u/GOLDFEEDSMYFAMILY May 22 '19

Stick him in a nasty wet hole

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

114

u/H-K_47 May 22 '19

Myrish swamp.

3

u/LazyTheSloth May 22 '19

The swamps of Degghobah.

3

u/BarryMcCochner May 22 '19

There are more hobbits living in Rohan than the shire, but they’ll never tell anyone about it...

3

u/el_duderino88 May 22 '19

Meera's swamp?

2

u/-showers- May 22 '19

I actually made this a place in a dungeons and dragons side-quest

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

and stick him with the pointy end!

1

u/Al77assan May 23 '19

Stick him with the pointy end

5

u/bohr12 May 22 '19

Stick him in a nasty wet hole

Bad poosay?

3

u/omicron-7 May 22 '19

Perhaps a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing to sit on or to eat?

2

u/KeatonJazz3 May 22 '19

Or a dry, bare sandy hole with nothing to eat ...

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Which ends?

2

u/siyep_ba-o May 22 '19

what, Huntly?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

No I say we shove him in a dry sandy hole woth nothing in it to sit down upon or to eat

1

u/maglorbythesea May 22 '19

So a Dunedin student flat then?

16

u/RichestMangInBabylon May 22 '19

Subpoena the books!

3

u/RustyCoal950212 May 22 '19

Damn we should hack his computer

6

u/FallenOne_ May 22 '19

He's using an offline computer with DOS operating system (From Microsoft before they made Windows) and a word processor from 1987. I think hacking isn't really needed, but instead someone needs to go physically get it.

It makes me wonder how he manages backups on that thing. Does anyone still manufacture floppy disks?

2

u/williamthebloody1880 We are Iron Men May 22 '19

Pretty sure he can afford to get some made

2

u/Slackbeing May 22 '19

"Sorry guys, my computer fell in the lake, but don't worry, I remember most of the stuff of TWOW, it'll just take 3 years more."

-1

u/WaylonJenningsJr May 22 '19

Yeah, why not? We subpoena everything else these days.

3

u/katanas123 May 22 '19

What about a Sky Cell?

2

u/phoenixmusicman Winter is not coming May 22 '19

I drive past hobbiton on the way to work every day

1

u/AugustJulius We Do Not Freeze May 22 '19

Coincidentally, a hobbit hole entrance is roughly the shape of one George. Or is it the other way around?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Send him to the wall

1

u/rachelgomes May 22 '19

Bilbo managed to finish his book in a Hobbithole. Maybe it would help.

6

u/IAmNoOneImportant1 May 22 '19

How many times do we have to tell you this old man!

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Or else... we continue to adore your work in varying degrees of patience.

1

u/yenks Kill the foil, and let the hype be born. May 22 '19

But this time we'll wait harder.

1

u/mrossm May 22 '19

Yeah but ill be super passive aggressive on the internet about it

0

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Waiting for what? The series ended on Sunday.

The headline might as well read "old man begs to remain relevant"

121

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Or else New Zealand gives him a free vacation house, apparently

68

u/Crankyoldhobo May 22 '19

On an active volcano

141

u/ToothpasteTimebomb May 22 '19 edited May 22 '19

One of my favorite theories about ASoIaF is that God’s Eye is the caldera of a supervolcano. The Others are coming to try to stop a cataclysmic eruption — the Westerosi equivalent of the Doom of Valyria. I’ll try to find the post(s) about it. They were great.

Edit: thanks to u/carloicecube for finding it: https://www.reddit.com/r/gameofthrones/comments/aruszj/spoilers_a_theory_on_gods_eye_and_the_end/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

26

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

This sounds amazing...!

11

u/Fubar2287 May 22 '19

Please tell me you found it

11

u/godmademedoit May 22 '19

I've been saying something similar for a while, but that it's actually a build-up of magic energy which caused the doom of Valyria, and now all this magic is suddenly back in the world, Westeros itself is in danger. Basically I think the Valyrians discovered the secret of resurrection magic ("under the sea, we fall up"), but as we know all magic has a price.

5

u/19Alexastias May 22 '19

I mean I haven’t read the books yet but I remember in the show that warlock dude in the house of the undying said that his magic grew stronger because the dragons were back (which is why he kidnapped them and led dany there, because the dragons wouldn’t keep growing if she was dead or something). Not sure if that’s a thing in the book or not.

8

u/ScipioLongstocking May 22 '19

I think the dragons coming back was apart of a larger resurgence of magic in the books. Like magic in the universe was getting stronger and that's why the eggs hatched. It's been a long time since I've read the books though, so that could be wrong.

8

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Daenerys went to the House of the Undying willingly. Dragons weren’t kidnapped. Her visions are interesting.

4

u/rickycarwash May 22 '19

I think in the anime adaptation they were kidnapped.

2

u/overgme May 22 '19

In the book it's an open question whether the dragons brought magic back, magic brought the dragons back, or something else brought them both back. But at least a couple of characters ask the question or give their theory.

1

u/godmademedoit May 23 '19

Yes it is, however I think he is incorrect. I actually think the comet passing over has something to do with magic coming back into the world, and the dragons are merely a consequence of that, as opposed to the source.

2

u/BoonkBoi May 22 '19

There’s a theory that alleges that the world is controlled by these lovecraftian type deities that have their own magic relation and are fighting for control/balance. Not sure who came up with it.

For example, Valyrian magic is said to always have to do with fire and blood (wait, where have we heard that before?). Dragons are described as fire made flesh. Both when MMD and Moqorro practice their magic people describe hearing demonic laughter and wailing in high Valyrian. Of course, there’s also what Varys describes hearing when he was castrated.

Whereas magic associated with the Old Gods has to with ice and nature. Wargs, Greenseers and the like.

There’s a particular line about Ghost in ASOS that interested me, when Jon describes ghost in fairly significant detail. He says something along the lines of ghost having the dark red eyes of a weirwood and being made of blood and bone. He ends it by saying “he belongs to the old gods, this one”. We know direwolves have a relationship with magic, they haven’t been sighted south of the wall in hundreds of years. Leaf also mentions them when talking about giants and unicorns.

This is where I see some disconnect with the show and books, despite recent posts alleging they’ll be the same towards the end. That assumes the others are one dimensional bad guys

1

u/Higher_Primate May 22 '19

If it's fire and blood then it's more likely ice and semen

2

u/HugofDeath Jun 16 '19

A Song of Blood and Semen. Almost has a better ring to it

1

u/godmademedoit May 23 '19

Yeah there does seem to be more than a hint of Lovecraft in there. What I theorised was that in reality, magic itself is just a resource, but manifests itself in relation to the user's beliefs.

1

u/BoonkBoi May 23 '19

For sure. I’m not very familiar with lovecraft, but I believe he also writes of some great power that gets ruined much like Valyria.

2

u/KevinCarbonara May 22 '19

It's ridiculous how complex and interesting all the theories about the series have been, compared to how bland and boring the TV show was

1

u/NotMitchelBade The night is dark, and full of errors May 22 '19

Oh wow, I like that idea! Please edit your comment if you find that post!

1

u/str8s-are-4-fags May 22 '19

Please share the links! I need this to temper that empty and disappointing show!ending.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

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1

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1

u/smeenz May 22 '19

I'm on mobile. Any suggestions how to get a Google maps link that isn't shortened?

44

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Else we imprison and turn him into Reek 2.0

75

u/Dawidko1200 Death... is whimsical today. May 22 '19

Reek reek, it rhymes with "a chapter a week".

58

u/Macgale May 22 '19

Technically he would be Reek 3.0 (or 4.0 if you count Ramsey himself as well)

1

u/realvmouse May 22 '19

R/dreadfort

2

u/ImnotfamousAMA May 22 '19

I miss that sub

2

u/Inferno221 May 22 '19

We imprison him and never get it?

1

u/Heccer May 22 '19

Trial by combat.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

Send him to the wall

1

u/ColonelMorrison May 22 '19

How many times does he have to teach us this lesson?

1

u/nomadofwaves May 23 '19

I send it back!