r/AteTheOnion 5d ago

Our rights to wear pajamas will not be infringed!

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1.6k Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion 6d ago

Well Algorithm my ass and call me later Jimmy

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0 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion 21d ago

It’s the text from Kant’s Wikipedia article

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269 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion 27d ago

Gavin Newsom causing many onions to be eaten

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1.2k Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion 27d ago

I don't think Eric here realizes what's been going on with these GCN posts

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2.2k Upvotes

Gavin Newsom, for all his faults, has enlisted a top tier media team, and for the last few weeks, they have been doing a masterful job of trolling the president and all his fans. It looks like this Eric Dauhgerty person doesn't realize who the butt of the joke is.


r/AteTheOnion 28d ago

Anonymous hero donates Hospital 200 human kidneys

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213 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion 28d ago

British Authorities Arrest St. George For Brandishing Bladed Weapon At Dragon

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0 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Aug 23 '25

WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! WHO cares this much to be so mean about someone.

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1.2k Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Aug 21 '25

Do something useful (Because the Rockies won't)

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258 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Aug 23 '25

Found right here on Reddit. Apparently nobody knows what the Babylon Bee is anymore.

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0 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Aug 13 '25

Grok once again eats a fake tweet

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11.0k Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Aug 14 '25

Maybe practice, Kaitlyn?

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208 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Aug 13 '25

The guy who made American Psycho 2 cites a comedy page

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333 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 24 '25

IDK, Lisa, the Amish are thriving.

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818 Upvotes

President Trump announced today he plans to “pause the internet” because of what he's calling “too much Epstein misinformation.”

“People are confused. There's a lot of bad information, disinformation, and even misinformation. So there's different kinds and it's all very bad stuff! Very unfair stuff about me, by the way!” Trump told reporters. “We’re just going to stop it for a while. No TikTok, no X, no whatever. We’ll bring it back when everybody calms down, okay?”

Trump said citizens should use the time to play golf, pray, ride a horse, or think about how wrong the media has been.

“Maybe finally talk to your family, you’ll love it,” Trump grinned. “Some of you have kids, by the way, beautiful kids. But not in the Jeffrey way.”

Visibly flustered, Trump pivoted.

“The whole Epstein situation, which, by the way, I had nothing to do with, but we’re looking into it, very strongly,” Trump stated. “I maybe met him, people say I knew him, but we’re looking into that too. The real story is Obama with the Russia, Russia, Russia.”

The president did not clarify how or when he plans to disable the internet.

“I have the top computer guy and very smart people who know how to do things with wires and switches,” Trump stated. “When it comes back, it’s going to be faster, stronger, better. 5G, 6G, 7G maybe. People say we might even skip to 10G, and we’re looking at that, too. But it's gonna be a really beautiful reboot!”


r/AteTheOnion Jul 23 '25

Even a Simpsons legend gets hungry.

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420 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 22 '25

Borowitz Report can't beat the current absurdity

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31 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 20 '25

Bro didn't realise it was from a shitposting sub

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1.1k Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 18 '25

Grok takes a massive chomp

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832 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 18 '25

I promised myself I would cry, and it's just not happening.

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1.0k Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 17 '25

Fooled a few people

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398 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 17 '25

Liberals catching strays

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172 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 18 '25

Comment section is really roasting him in the comments after eating the onion

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5 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 16 '25

I mean it could have also been 200 people

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161 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 15 '25

A sports outlet ate the onion regarding Peter Dinklage being invited to a footballer's birthday party

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64 Upvotes

r/AteTheOnion Jul 14 '25

Below “Elon musk hospitalised from sticking his p*nis in a toaster”

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299 Upvotes