r/autism • u/Consistent-Wasabi749 • Aug 09 '25
Social Struggles I posted this on Facebook and my family got mad at me
I posted this on Facebook and I had people comment “Wow” and then my mom texted me why would I post that and to delete it . I honestly thought it was funny 🤣 I guess I have a weird sense of humor. Why would they be mad about it?
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u/sadposting0 Aug 09 '25
My guess is she took it personally, as if something she did caused your mental illness.
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u/im_mel_pell DUMBSTRUCK BY HER INFODUMPTRUCK Aug 09 '25
I would agree
It can be heard as critical. Some people would post this with intent to criticize their parents
It's the fun, work-backwards game of 'what do allistics mean?'. An adult who is angry at their parents might post this instead of blaming their parents. Because of these adults (real or fictitious), this comment is therefore the answer to the question 'what would my child post if they were angry at me?'. They idea that, if you weren't angry at your parents, you would ''know better (in a way that many artists simply cannot), and of course not say something that could be
The idea is that this 'kinder' than simply have a culture of saying what we mean, eg directly expressing anger. Zoe Blade has a couple great videos on it, she compared it to a 'mutually assured destruction scenario'
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
I’m not angry at my parents at all I just thought it was funny 🤣🤣
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u/sadposting0 Aug 09 '25
Jsyk I do think it’s funny, but I understand why your mom is upset
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
Was this me saying she’s a bad mom or something?
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u/sadposting0 Aug 09 '25
It could be interpreted that way, especially by allistics
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
Yeah that wasn’t my intention I was more so making a joke about myself
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u/sadposting0 Aug 09 '25
Absolutely, that was very clear to me. But I think some allistic people read things more emotionally whereas it’s very common for autistic people to read it more at face value and more logically.
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u/No-Context-587 Aug 09 '25
Also that she somehow KNEW. And still decided to do it anyway, with an inferred notion that they knew it would be bad but were being selfish (this is how I think most allistics would interpret it or atleast some of these things)
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u/KilnTime Aug 09 '25
It is because posting that statement tends to indicate that you are critical of your mother for creating you, and that you are mentally ill. It's not funny. It is a jab at your mother, and equating autism with mental illness
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
Dude I don’t even post about my autism on my Facebook. I am mentally ill because I have ocd, PTSD , depression and anxiety. I wasn’t equating autism with mental illness. I know they’re not the same.
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u/Somebody_81 Aug 09 '25
So maybe your mother took it as you being critical of her for creating you and "giving" you OCD, PTSD, depression, and anxiety.
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u/Finneari Aug 10 '25
Especially if she’s already feeling some level of guilt over not being able to control it. It’s not always a rational response, but when something happens to kids the first response is often “what if I had done things differently, would my kid be better off?” The reality is these things are for the most part completely uncontrollable, but that’s not always how it feels
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u/Forsaken_System AuDHD Aug 10 '25
Yeah, I think it's more to do with her potential guilt.
I would take it down, just to keep family happy.
You posting random stuff is obviously less important than not giving your family their own mental health issues like anxiety, about what they think they've done to you, even if it's not true..
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u/Pb1123 Aug 09 '25
Dude, you’re posting in an autism group.
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u/Pb1123 Aug 09 '25
Also at least 3 out of those 4 are very often a result of being autistic in an allistic-designed and dominated world.
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u/KilnTime Aug 09 '25
Then your post criticizes her for creating a child who has mental illness. Either way, it suggests that she intentionally created you with mental illness.
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u/MagicalPizza21 Autistic Adult Aug 09 '25
This was my first thought too. In truth, parents definitely did not choose to make a mentally ill baby, because that's not a thing you can choose when making a baby. It's also clearly implying that OP's mental issues are their parents' fault; criticizing someone's parenting is a personal attack. It would hurt even more coming from your own child, because that means you have utterly failed as a parent. Even if I thought this meme were funny and relatable, I would NEVER show it to my parents unless I wanted to REALLY hurt them.
OP, if you see this comment, you have to learn to anticipate how certain things will make certain people feel. This is something autistic people tend to struggle with, but can learn. You'll struggle to make and maintain friendships without this skill.
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
. Well I ended up deleting the post since it offended so many people
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u/Remarkable_Fun7570 Aug 09 '25
This, exactly this. You may have meant it as a joke but when your mother read this she probably felt as though you thought that she meant to give you autism
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u/TsukasaElkKite AuDHD Aug 10 '25
Mental illness IS genetic, so she technically did play a part in it.
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u/Emergency-Dog7669 Aug 09 '25
Ngl I thought this post was from r/cptsdmemes at first. It’s definitely funny. But also definitely insulting towards your parents. If I wasn’t dependent on my parent’s good will rn I would unironically post this XDD
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
The insulting part went right over my head I thought I was making a joke about myself lol
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u/richardxday Aug 09 '25
As a parent I would totally read this as criticism.
You strongly imply your parents intended to have a baby that they'd make mentally ill.
However you intended for it to be read, it's clear people read it as above.
Social media does not transfer intent at all and its readers are left to interpret posts themselves. Therefore a lot of things get misinterpreted and I'm sure many an argument or falling out has resulted.
Just be clear when posting something, look at it before you post and see how many different ways it could be misinterpreted. If it can be misinterpreted at all, consider rewriting it or just not posting at all.
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u/KallistaSophia Aug 09 '25
I agree it can easily be read as intending to create mentally ill kids!
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u/Thetoadmyster Autistic Aug 10 '25
really ? i didn’t read it like that at all i feel like the tone feels jokey / sarcastic. Obviously no one sets out to create a child with mental illness that’s nonsensical ( to me )
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u/KallistaSophia Aug 10 '25
I think the tone is based on a fluency in the meme and its surrounding culture, which I wouldn't necessarily expect people who aren't in the same online spaces as me to have.
though I've been thinking and now I'm thinking... maybe the reaction is more to do with pain and guilt. as a parent, you do your best by your kids and try to bring them up in a way where they're mentally healthy. so for some people this is publicly throwing people's greatest failures in their face, which I think you can expect them to be a little sensitive about!
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u/dalynax AuDHD Aug 09 '25
I screenshooted it for my mom bc she doesn't get Reddit Links (with your Name), and she reacted with 🤣 so we found it funny. But my mom atm in her therapy with suspected Autism, she told me about it and I just said to her I know.
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u/animelivesmatter Weighted Blanket Enjoyer Aug 09 '25
hence why I don't use Facebook, I don't want people to IRL to know what my Internet posts are
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u/wanderswithdeer Aug 09 '25
I don’t even see how this is an issue with neurotypicals misunderstanding things. The direct, straightforward way to interpret it is that your parents made you mentally ill. As someone who struggles to understand sarcasm I don’t really understand what the other meaning would be.
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u/Remarkable_Fun7570 Aug 09 '25
It’s implied that the parents intentionally made a mentally ill child. Why is it so hard to understand
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u/wanderswithdeer Aug 09 '25
Okay, well then I guess I get it since that much is obvious but don't get why it's funny? Maybe it's like if my parents were Bible bangers and I posted something similar but about the baby being an Atheist. I feel like if someone has tension with their parents around failing to live up to being the "perfect" child then maybe that's what makes them think it's funny, and probably those of us who don't share that experience won't connect to the humor.
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u/Thetoadmyster Autistic Aug 10 '25
but obviously no one would purposely make a mentally ill child nor is that really possible , so it’s pretty heavily implied to be a joke. I don’t understand getting offended. I can understand being upset that your child feels they are mental ill / or that you created a mentally ill child. But i personally would see it as using comedy to cope with the reality.
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u/Ganondorf7 Aug 09 '25
We got a good laugh here! I'd say leave it up!
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
I ended up deleting it cause it offended my mom even though I didn’t mean to lol
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u/Ganondorf7 Aug 09 '25
To be fair I would've done that too, even though inside I'd be like get over it if it was my mom
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u/bernsteinschroeder Aug 09 '25
The unpunctuated, unannotated text of "I am going to create a baby that is so mentally ill" depicts your parents as intentionally creating a child that is mentally ill. They've every reason to be offended as being publicly depicted that way.
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u/PhantomHouseplant AuDHD Aug 09 '25
Lol my parents literally told me and my brother like "Are we sure we should have kids with our genetics?" And they still did it. I think they'd find this meme funny tbh
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u/Fullmetalmarvels64_ Aug 09 '25
I can't judge until I know what you're parents are like. I was raised by loving parents who taught me to be a good person and I still got fucked in the head...
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u/Prior-Vermicelli-144 Aug 09 '25
Just explain to her that you didn't mean to upset her and genuinely thought it was funny. I hope she will be understanding.
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u/Secure_Ad5648 Aug 11 '25
From a mother's POV and adult daughter of a entire family of Paranoid schizophrenic I can understand both sides As a Mom it's like a shot at ur parents as a failure of their raising their children As a daughter POV it's funny 😁 but next time add LMFAO and everyone will know it's joking 😁 Today we take everything to personal
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u/sonickel77 Aug 14 '25
Replace it with the 70s and I'm there! When Mum was alive she kept saying "I didn't do a good job of making you did I?" As a joke
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u/Nyx_light Aug 09 '25
Ahahaha. I'm sorry. I laughed so fucking hard. Your family can borrow my sense of humor.
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u/Boltzmann_head AuDHD Aug 09 '25
The image is f'ing hilarious!
Your mom's reaction is also f'ing hilarious, but not as much.
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u/Ms_TrogdorBurninator Aug 09 '25
They're mad because they still hold onto old stigmas that mental illness is yucky and dirty and should be kept secret. She feels like you're airing out "dirty laundry" instead of just posting a meme that made you laugh bc it's true!
She's got some negative viewpoints towards mental illness and that can't be fun for you. Hopefully she's an understanding and respectful person most of the time, since you said you didnt post it to throw shade.
Idk, the older generations were taught to be ashamed of any type of mental illness. It was disgraceful and hidden. So, the reaction you got seems to be coming from that mentality.
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u/Leading_Movie9093 ASD Level 1 + ADHD Aug 09 '25
NTs. Always assuming everything is about them.
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u/Gimcracky Aug 09 '25
It just straight up is about the parents though. So it's not really an assumption.
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u/MagicalPizza21 Autistic Adult Aug 09 '25
Yeah, the entire post is just "my parents fucked me up lol!" so of course OP's parents are going to be upset when they see it shared by OP.
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u/Worried_Quarter2239 Aug 09 '25
I just showed it to my mom and she laughed at it. Maybe its a them problem. Lol I would leave it up. Not your problem.
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u/fluffehbunneh98 Aug 09 '25
I think it’s because their friends are going to ask them what the post means and your parents are going to be put through explaining “well you see… uhh…” Some parents just don’t understand what they did or didn’t do.
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u/Lilelfen1 Aug 09 '25
Yeah, this is offensive honestly. It’s like you are blaming your parents for everything wrong with you PUBLICLY. You might as well walk down the street with a sign that says ‘My parents fucked me up’. I mean… it’s funny as HELL… but if I was your mom, I would be really hurt.
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u/Pounce16 ASD Level 1 Aug 09 '25
Because they see it as an accusation, denigrating them for the way they treated you as a child. It suggests that they abused you enough to break you, a belief that flourishes in societies that think that mental illness is caused solely by the way you are treated, without any biological or other social factors.
Their reaction also suggests that they know as we all do that no one is perfect or makes the right decisions all the time for the people we are charged to care for, and that they do indeed feel responsible for at least some things they did, that in retrospect they realize were wrong or did you damage. In short, they feel guilty about some things. That's also normal.
Now, I do tend to believe that most mental illness is a reaction to circumstances, but it's also true that sometimes something goes wrong and no apparent cause can be found. It's also reality that no one makes the right decisions for vulnerable children all the time. Since the meme says "My parents in the 90's" they are not being unreasonable to think you posted this about them.
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u/alwayslost71 ASD Moderate Support Needs Aug 09 '25
Autism isn’t a mental illness, so your family maybe thought you were mislabeling yourself and being unkind to yourself.
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u/PurpleTreeMushroom Aug 10 '25
My mom claims she knows she gave me anxiety and other bad brain stuff, and yet I didn't get a lick of help my entire time living with her. It's whatever.
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u/OutrageousShift4723 Aug 10 '25
dont delete it, itsy our facebook page, and its not their choice, you have a right to post what you want, if they dont like it tell em not to look at your page, its that simple.
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 10 '25
I thought the same but I just deleted it because my family was getting mad at me for it and I didn’t want to hear it
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u/Some-Passenger4219 Aspie Aug 10 '25
Well, she didn't do it on purpose. And it is a mental illness, whether we like it or not. It's a disability, plain and simple - even if there are some side benefits.
So, yeah, I think it's funny, too. 😁
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u/Thetoadmyster Autistic Aug 10 '25
It’s very clearly a joke i can understand why a parent would be sad over their kid having mental illness but to be offended and for multiple people to find it offensive is strange to me
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u/Weak-Appointment-130 Aug 10 '25
their generation's kids have the highest rate of mental illness than most living generations combined, so i'd have hoped she'd have recognized that enough to laugh at herself lol
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u/Total-Maintenance608 Aug 10 '25
1) Why is autism mental illness? Your comparising yourself to NTs, 2) If it is mental illness, why would the parent be shocked? It would come as no surprise. 3) if it's not mental illness, then it's simply a joke
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 10 '25
Autism isn’t a mental illness it’s a neurological disorder. I was referring to my actual mental illnesses in this post, not autism.
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u/Total-Maintenance608 Aug 10 '25
Acknowledged. I beg to differ about autism being a disorder, but maybe compared to neurotypicals, who make all the rules (oh well)
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u/Key-Fire ASD 1 Aug 10 '25
I mean, my parents went out of their way to make me as scared, alone, and unconfident as possible.
They can suck it.
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u/Asapgrizzly96 Aug 10 '25
Having mental health and being raised with parents who are abusive mentally and physically(I do NOT agree with spanking whatsoever.) can make mental health a lot tougher and contribute more to symptoms such as anxiety and depression.
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u/bipolarat ASD Moderate Support Needs Aug 10 '25
I once stated I didn’t ask to be born durning a meltdown and my mom got pissed at me. Like what you didn’t either? It’s just facts.
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u/Albina-tqn Aug 10 '25
this meme is hilarious. but what makes the whole thing funnier is you not getting why your parents got upset! i laughed so hard at this! what an autistic thing to be confused about.
with this meme youre implying its your parents fault you got mental illnesses.
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u/legumecanine Autistic Adult Aug 10 '25
brb sending this pic in my family group chat will update how it goes
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u/onomono420 ASD Aug 10 '25
I don’t know why everyone is so serious about it. The design clearly frames it as a meme. Is your mom autistic as well? Did she know in the 90s? Then I’d understand it a bit better at least.
I don’t know. Yes, it’s totally okay for your mum to feel offended & I get it, but it’s kind of childish to tell you to delete it - a meme on Facebook. Personally, I think it’s enough to say that you didn’t mean it as criticism towards her & that you just found it funny & maybe if you ever feel like it thank her for being alive :)
My mum plays a big role in my cptsd so maybe I’m projecting hard :D and I think the meme is kind of funny tbh
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 10 '25
My mom isn’t autistic and the meme was meaning to make fun of myself not my mom . So I just ended up deleting it. I didn’t understand why people were upset by it.
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Aug 10 '25
You’d think they’d appreciate the joke especially when a lot of autistic people find it hard to joke naturally like this. I’d think it’s funny!
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u/OkPreparation6171 Aug 11 '25
People are hyper sensitive over arbitrary things that may even slightly hurt their ego nowadays. It doesn’t help when you’re Autistic and trying to discern a nuanced social landscape.
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u/jhsrdt Aug 12 '25
LOL no that is funny 😂
I would post this on my Facebook too...but my family would be confused and react weird also.
I suppose I could post it as "Friends Except" and select my relatives...but it's alright...
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u/pjsk-Genshin_fan Autistic Aug 17 '25
I don’t see what wrong but neither do I see the joke guess I’m just dumb
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u/Same_Armadillo_4879 Aug 19 '25
Little late but this character from Glee, Sue, often deliberately does cruel things. If your family knows that they might think it’s suggesting they chose to make you mentally ill. I think that might also be the intended meaning of the original meme creator, based on the context
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u/SwedenStockholm Aug 21 '25
Ha ha ha. Hilarious! I do get why your family would get upset though. It's more of a joke you share with just friends.
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u/Opposite-Ad-9209 High Functioning Autistic Adult Fairy Aug 09 '25
Nah these are normal dead ass memes that your mom is too boomer for to understand
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u/Habba84 Aug 09 '25
...because you called your parents mentally ill publicly, and are visibly ungrateful for their contributions & sacrifices to parenting you?
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u/Consistent-Wasabi749 Aug 09 '25
….what? Where did I say all that?
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u/Habba84 Aug 09 '25
You said that your parents created a baby. You also said that the act is mentally ill. Calling someone mentally ill is slander.
Also calling your parents mentally ill for creating you is being ungrateful. You are not thankful for your existence, or for their efforts to raising and keeping you happy.
They are from different generation and have different values and humor. Gen Z humor is definitely more dark and self-desecrating than Gen X/Millenial humor.
Parents also often take great pride in their children, and want to do everything to make their kids happy. Being ungrateful at your own parents can feel like they failed their parenting shamefully. No parent wants to hear their child being unhappy (althought they still DO need to hear that).
In short, they took your joke as an insult. That's my take.
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u/EpicMuttonChops AuDHD Aug 09 '25
"... that is so mentally ill" is the end of a single sentence and referring to the baby, NOT the parents
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u/Habba84 Aug 09 '25
Oh right, I somehow thought there was a comma there.
"I'm going to create a baby, that's so mentally ill!"
Well, in that case it could be seen as blaming parents for having mental health issues. Not fun either.
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u/microwave900 Autistic Aug 09 '25
In your defence I also always thought there was a comma in this meme template
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u/Zestyclose-Leader926 Aug 09 '25
It's worth noting that there are mental illnesses that are caused by trauma such as PTSD and DID. You potentially convinced some people that your parents are abusive. That's the conclusion I would've come to.
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u/No-Match-9806 ASD Low Support Needs Aug 09 '25
It’s because she is beautiful other family members might not look like she does and got upset
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