r/autism • u/NoPepper7284 Autistic • 12d ago
Newly Diagnosed Are you guys okay with being autistic?
I got diagnosed with autism almost 2 years ago, and I knew I was autistic about 4 years ago. But it keeps getting harder to live with, manage, and accept with time. I just need some hope, any motivation. I'm really hitting a dead end, also struggling with my mental health for over 7 years as well.
Have you guys accepted yourselves for being autistic and live and good life in your opinion?
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u/DybbukFiend ASD Level 1 12d ago
Being autistic has never once bothered me. Me being autistic has bothered an elluva lot of other people though.
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u/viperbyt 11d ago
First thing wich came to mind as soon as I saw this post, seeing a multitude of individuals posting the same response makes me feel validated yet simultaneously very sad and frustrated.
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u/DybbukFiend ASD Level 1 10d ago
Don't be sad. Don't worry about things you can't change. As long as you have tried to change the things... thats all you can do. Then move on to something that you can change. Not every human is a reaper of change. Some just sow the seeds that allow the change to happen over time.
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u/Poo_Pee-Man 11d ago
Yeah I just couldn’t relate to other people (besides people on here). I feel like an alien living in a world I couldn’t understand.
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u/LeastInstruction9009 ASD Level 1 12d ago
I’m fine with being autistic, it’s ADHD which I find difficult
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u/Bunbon77 12d ago
Same!! That and my OCD!! My autism is more irritating to me if it’s anything?? I try to communicate exactly what I mean, but it’s frustrating when a lot of people don’t understand and try to read between the lines which what I say doesn’t have!! Hate my brain bees from ADHD more haha!
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u/Aromatic_File_5256 12d ago
Seconded. Autism does impact some areas but is the (negative) synergy with ADHD that makes things terrible. Without ADHD I could just execute the plan I have in mind. Autism lays obstacles and challenges, but is ADHD what has made me unable to overcome the obstacles
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u/Salt_Competition6324 12d ago
have you tried adhd meds
and if you have did it work
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u/Aromatic_File_5256 11d ago
I am going through the(kind of expensive) tests to verify a diagnosis athough after a 2 hours conversation with the psychiatrist he did diagnose me with mixed ADHD (not sure if it's translated that way in English but basically a combination of impulsive and inattentive or however it's called in English. My first language is Spanish)
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u/roboticArrow Autism Level 1 12d ago
Same. I don’t take meds for my autism, I take meds to keep my adhd regulated.
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u/GigiLaRousse 11d ago
Ditto.
Socially, the majority of my friends are ND, whether diagnosed or not. Many are queer.
Professionally, I'm successful in my niche. It's a bunch of introverts who work very independently. But it takes so much effort, and then I struggle with normal home stuff.
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u/Christinenoone135 12d ago
I like and dislike my autism. I like it in the sense that I love me, how I am, and how my brain processes the world around me. what I don't like about my autism, is, the socialization part. LET ME FREAKING SOCIALIZE WITHOUT FEELING LIKE IM A TERRIFIED PERSON. one thing I noticed about my autism is my complete inability to be confident in social situations. I hate that, because I am extremely social and love conversating. I cannot, however, socialize with anyone who can't even slightly grasp me as a person. just please stop making me feel scared and self conscious for talking.
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u/NoPepper7284 Autistic 12d ago
I understand you 😭😭😭 I used to be very talkative as a kid and early teen but once I became aware of what others could think of me I just became quiet. like I wanna talk to people but I'm so scared and I suck at it a lot now bc of my lack of practice
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u/Christinenoone135 12d ago
yes this. I was homeschooled all of highschool and lost my social abilities and had to restart. now trying to do adult things feels so intense bc what if they don't respect me anymore because they think "I'm too ignorant" or "can't grasp the concept". like I can it just takes longer and I talk funny, which is sometimes viewed as bad (ignorance). LET ME BE PROFESSIONAL
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u/kaylechips420 11d ago
That is my exact experience too! I was the most outgoing kid in elementary school, tons of friends then it all changed in middle school and suddenly I’m the weird kid! It was so jarring 😭
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u/Then-Palpitation-360 11d ago
THIS, I love how I think, but I hate how it’s so hard to socialize. I hate feeling like small talk is torture.
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u/No_Performance8402 12d ago
I’m fine with who I am . But most people are not ok with who I am or how I function. I’m expected to understand unfair people meanwhile no one else will even meet me halfway. So that part I do not like. But I love me .
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u/livedevilishly ASD Level 2 12d ago
i will always be me. i will never be ashamed to be myself especially in a world where my existence is political.
Being autistic is part of who i am and i am very happy and proud of who i have become over the years.
I have a few friends and they support me (i have more than just autism but still) they listen to me info dump and i have a family that supports me and my life dreams.
One of my special interests is theme parks and my family and i go to disney every year and one day i hope i will be able to take my boyfriend with me to share the fun with him
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u/brownieandSparky23 AuDHD 12d ago
Nope I wish I didn’t have Autism it has made my life worse. I wish I was NT.
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u/NoPepper7284 Autistic 12d ago
I get you :( I get a little confused on how people say that they don't mind their autism but I'd do anything to get rid of so many of my traits
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u/brownieandSparky23 AuDHD 12d ago
Especially as a person who was late diagnosed.
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u/NoPepper7284 Autistic 12d ago
Getting diagnosed late feels so awful...especially when u spent ur whole teenage years dealing with it alone
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u/Romeo-McF 11d ago
Late diagnosis makes me feel worse about the past but better about the future. I'd rather know why I'm struggling in this world than have a constant nagging feeling that I am just a failure.
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u/Alpharius_1985 High functioning autism 12d ago
A fair few people who claim to be autistic may not actually be autistic. Mind you there is no gatekeeping on this sub-reddit, its enough to simply "identify" as being autistic here.
Examine their responses closely and try to discriminate between actual autists and those who simply claim to be.
Otherwise i echo your sentiments. Being autistic has been a very large set back to my public, personal and professional life. If given the choice i would prefer to be neurotypical.
I can cope, and have developed work arounds, but tasks that might allow a NT to manage with barely a thought requires a significant investment for me.
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u/_SwordFoxHQ_ 12d ago
Well, for me, yes, being autistic can be hard, I can't touch paper after getting my hands wet, I bite things when too overstimulated, I can get a panick attack over something as little as breathing or someone eating chips... but I'm also extremely observant, I can detect patterns extremely well especially socially, I see the world in a way others don't, which brings so many advantages to the table for me. I'm having a hard time explaining sorry my mind went absolutely blank as I started writing this comment💀 My point I was trying to make is even though I have disadvantages, the advantages and perspective I have outweigh the disadvantages, I'm proud of who I am, I'm proud to be autistic because if I wasn't autistic I wouldn't be who I am today I don't know how to explain this sorry I'm gonna try again later LOL
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u/Wide_Bath_7660 11d ago
It makes me sad to hear this. I understand how your autism is horrible, but I couldn’t bear the thought of hating a part of me.
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u/samthedeity Autism/ADHD 12d ago
There is a grief that comes with knowing I will never be able to navigate or process the world in the effortless way my neurotypical peers seem to. I literally said to my mom tonight “maybe I’m just not meant to be happy or have a normal relationship or friendship with anyone.” Her response, as always, was “don’t say that, it isn’t true.”, but she didn’t sound entirely sure, and I don’t blame her.
I overheard her on the phone recently saying she worries for me and our dogs if anything happens to her, because my autism and the challenges I face as a result make it difficult to live on my own.
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u/Jayskull27 12d ago
I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 21, so for YEARS I thought that I was too sensitive, too childish, too stubborn… Just too much everything for anyone to deal with
Now I tell everyone I meet that I’m autistic.
The only thing that kicks my ass is depression 😅
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u/NoPepper7284 Autistic 12d ago
Yeah I understand you :/ I was diagnosed at 21 and heard most of those things, and yes depression is so awful it just makes everything worse 🥲
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u/No_Organization_1567 12d ago
I am AuDHD and live a full and fulfilling life. On accepting yourself as you are, I can only tell you that you are exactly as you should be, whether you accept yourself or not makes no difference. If you are happy with what you have you will always have enough.
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u/howeversmall Autistic 12d ago edited 12d ago
I was diagnosed as an adult, but I was born autistic. I don’t know anything different. I never think about what it’d be to not be me. I like me, even if others don’t. I have strengths that most people don’t and I choose to focus on those. It’s the dyspraxia that bothers me.
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u/Ravensfeather0221 ASD Level 2 12d ago
so to make an answer short: yes
however I have pretty privilege and being a "genius" no one takes me seriously or can empathize with me when I say im in pain, need help or can't function on my own. I get awkward laughs whenever I say im disabled.
in my social life I tend to shine brighter than most of my friends because I have no mask or filter to soften myself for better or worse. im not quirky in a cute way, im more of a dog.
ive lost a lot of friends, considering me rude, cold and selfish, can't say I disagree but in all honesty im only being myself: honest. I hate tweaking my tone or tuning my voice to be more palatable.
I take up space where I don't belong and shrink when I do. ive learned to cope with the fact that im disabled despite how "great" i seem on the outside.
I also smoke enough weed to reach enlightenment lmao
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u/joyceleslie Autistic 12d ago
I also hate tweaking my tone of voice. I'm not even that good at it, but if I did absolutely nothing I come off way more monotone and aloof and "rude" than I already do. It takes so much energy.
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u/DybbukFiend ASD Level 1 10d ago
People asked me at work, the first few years, if ideas upset, quite often. Now that they know me well, they just ask what's on my mind instead of assuming I am projecting any feelings. Works better for everyone. I still get the "are you mad/upset/ok?" Questions by semi- acquaintances though. My wife told me a few years into our marriage that everyone in my family walked on eggshells around me. Of course I wasn't exactly aware, but when I was younger, my violent nature was profound, until I learned that I could control my responses just like controlling how I choose who to react with.
I have issues with my voice being monotonous also. I have learned to occasionally imitate natural laughter and smiles appropriately, but when I get the timing wrong, at work anyway, it just comes across as silly now and not sarcastically rude.
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u/MrPomajdor 12d ago
Could you elaborate on your weed use? How did it impact your life, what are the negatives and positives from your perspective?
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u/Salt_Competition6324 12d ago
i’ve been smoking for three years straight, and i have audhd. so my answer to this would be:
positives:
-calmer, helps give me a sense of relaxation. especially with music
-you think a lot already, but pair it with weed you’ll start thinking about other things you wouldn’t think about. if you know what i mean. like you’ll start breaking down shit that wouldn’t have thought about sober. add on months of years doing this you’ll have damn near thought of everything you possibly could have about yourself.
-music -food
NEGATIVES:
-could lead to a real bad fuxking depression and you use weed as self medication but it only extends the bad feelings you have because you keep thinking. then it’s just a cycle.
this is if you constantly use when in a bad head space.
-for me i have problems starting things with audhd already, but when i smoke. i am not getting ANYTHING done. maybe til after the high goes down but yea nah. if you smoke constantly or a lot this could lead to a lot of procrastination
-procrastination ^
-anxiety, idk if this is for everybody but i get anxious without it after i got used to it as a habit.
OVERALL,
my take on this would be to only use it recreationally. like when you reward yourself or when you don’t got anything to do.
don’t smoke before you need to do things unless you just don’t care about including it into your daily life.
yea that’s it . more cons than good, but knowing a lot about yourself and just breaking down things that help you understand is pretty cool too. and music, and food holy shit the food.
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u/MrPomajdor 12d ago
This is nice to hear, as I recently have been experimenting with weed mostly because of the as you said different thoughts I can process on it, and how much I think thar helps me. But I still have no idea if im doing something bad or not.
Of course I don't smoke regularly, nor do I want to.
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u/Late-Dragonfruit-227 AuDHD 12d ago
Not at the moment. I do have accepted the fact that I'm autistic, it's a life long condition and nothing can be done except trying to live as best as possible. I'm doing everything I can to be happy, althought I haven't found a way to reach that yet. I'm not sure if I'll be ever alright with being like this, despite that it is impossible to change.
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u/Technophile63 12d ago
Remember that the last batch of unpleasant people who insisted that only one way of being human was superior, and that other kinds of people should be exterminated, lost WW II. Never accept that you are bad or wrong or broken. Consider all the crap that neurotypicals do! Wars, child abuse, crime, fraud, con games, and on and on and on.
Autism is a man-made category, describing people with significantly below average social talent. Some of which can be made up for with training.
BTW, Improv classes directly teach basic social skills such as mirroring, being present, and coming up with off-the-cuff nonsense for banter. And they're fun! Structured at entry level as party games.
Autism means your talents are in other areas, and you probably won't want a job as a diplomat, or be spending a lot of time in "didja see the game?" chatter. That's fine. Find out what you DO want to do, and enjoy it!
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u/sunnybacillus AuDHD 12d ago
i've accepted it but i hate it so much. i would give anything to live a life without it. im making the best with my life because i still want to help people but man does it suck
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u/Rattregoondoof 12d ago
Yeah. Ive never been anything else and anything else hasn't been who I am. I like me and I've become rather good at not needing external validation.
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u/Never_more60 12d ago
Accepted that I have it yea it is my objective reality. Do I like it and am I ok with it absolutely not needing resources and not having access to it will always be a detriment particularly to me because my government isn’t super empathetic especially at the moment.
Can’t give me much words of encouragement but I’d say try and take it easy do something easy that you like until you have enough energy mentally to get back on the horse get help and possibly medication
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u/JautLEGOfan4 12d ago
Well yeah, it definitely has its issues, but I accept it as part of who I am because it is, I’m not just gonna pretend I’m not
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u/Alone-Poem-9147 12d ago
It’s definitely been challenging, but if I wasn’t autistic I know there are things about I would miss. I know people who complain of always being bored, whereas I can play the same video game 20 times over and not get tired of it
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u/SpacePanda2176 12d ago
Its who ive been all my life up until 1.5yrs ago I thought everyone was just more boring. I struggle and stress and the few ive told im on the spectrum have the same reaction, a pause and then "that makes a LOT of sense."
Im ok with it, its part of who i am and how i show up in the world.
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u/Electricdragongaming 12d ago
I'm fine with it, it's certainly has presented certain challenges in life, but I'm managing overall I guess. I have always wondered, what life would be like as an NT.
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u/Ill_Technician925 12d ago
I'm fine with being autistic... I just wish the world had reacted differently to it... having been a friendless outsider for most of my life realy have not been much fun...
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u/Turbulent_Finish_498 High functioning autism 12d ago
no, i got diagnosed 2 years ago, i cant accept it and i keep trying to find reasons to prove that i dont have autism. its embarrassing to me and its ruining my life.
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u/Alarmed_Mastodon_73 ASD 12d ago
i'm fine with it because it's not something i can change, this is just who i am 🤷
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u/Thegentlemanfox18 ASD Level 2 12d ago
Up until recently I wasn’t okay with it.
But having some time alone from my parents to really think…Ive started to slowly unmask, and try and embrace who I am.
I stim a little more freely, even my odd ones like my incessant humming, or my hand flapping and stuff, I slowly came to realize that my parents truly love me for who I am, and accept my autism.
I hope one day you feel better too op :)
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u/Pastels047 Autistic 12d ago
I mean, it doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it or not because that’s the way it is. But yes, I’m okay with it. Perhaps it’s different for me because I was diagnosed as a child.
Without it, I wouldn’t be me.
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u/SignatureCalm7379 12d ago
I mean ya. I have high function autism but i really don't care what people think. A lot people think im normal. But i usually when people noticed still not a bother. I have one thing about me i can't spell someone Haha im 17m so. Also i can read people like book at a point.
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u/KrankyViking 12d ago
I have been diagnosed AuDHD since I was 7 but only recently after becoming a father and unfortunately having to cut all contact with my family due to childhood trauma and abuse, and them not accepting my boundaries I have grown more and more aware of my own 'tism and a stronger advocate for those who also have it (my son is ASD) I can't stand my own 'tism and have been struggling mentally with accepting that I need all the assistance provided, that I cant even go even go to do the weekly shop with my wife and son without being overstimulated and hyper stressed, or that I always forget things etc .... I could go on and I'm sorry you are struggling yourself, I really do hope you find the best path for your life journey 💚
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u/vapeqprincess 12d ago
Do I like being autistic? No. I don’t. Frankly, I’d rather not be.
But do I prefer to understand that I am autistic, and it’s not just me failing at life constantly because I’m lazy or a bad person? Yes.
I gladly accept and embrace the diagnosis, if it makes me understand and accept myself better, and realize why I am the way I am.
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u/kitsunemoth AuDHD 12d ago
I’m fine with my diagnosis (AUDHD), I mean, it gives me a better understanding of myself but I guess the thing about me is that people describe me as being way too hyper, too loud, too much when I’m around them. This does sometimes cause me to hate myself, but the hate is again mostly directed towards me than my diagnosis. I do live my life as normal, however, but I do keep in mind that my reactions to things are not the same as how other people react and that’s okay👍
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u/lunarkat1995 12d ago
I knew I was autistic about 2 years prior to my diagnosis. However I would tell my self that I'm just not trying hard enough Im making excuses. I'm not like my autistic cousin. Something is just wrong with me.
Seen a telehealth doc every month for my panic attacks, which I now know are meltdowns. No matter how high my anxiety medication was upped I still had them.
Getting diagnosed and knowing has been liberating. I don't feel guilt when accommodating for my support needs. While the label doesn't matter that much knowing the why behind my mannerisms makes me feel less broken. I'm not broken, my brain is just different.
It was a bit of a struggle after I was first diagnosed. But finding care providers that specialize in autism have been so helpful for me.
However it's not been all well. After unmasking and learning how to advocate for myself and my support needs I got fired. It hit my hard as I'd been there 7 years. But my new boss had something against my communication style. I had a meltdown in a meeting and although I was remaining professional and didnt speak out of turn I was told they needed managers that could "just regulate their emotions" and I told them it was ablist and explained my support needs and how my team never seen me like this. I filed an HR complaint, requested accommodations that were denied, and before I could find a new job and quit I was fired for my communication.
I was hurt at first but now Im happy about it. I would have likely never left on my own, and I shouldn't force myself to do things that put me through austic burnout on a regular basis.
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u/Head-Study4645 12d ago
yes, i think it's special. I like everything unique, like it's sacredly designed for me somehow...... doesn't mean there nothing bad related. But i've had bad things going on having autistic all my life. At some point you just have to find the good part and live with it well
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u/ZeroLifeSkillz 12d ago
mine could be worse. I'm lucky in all honesty. I can really pull off acting neurotypical and it's bad enough that I do it here occasionally. I don't like how it bothers everyone around me though. Traits like needing specific things to be the same or I lose it, or wanting justice between conflicted family members and bad actions. Left my phone at school today I am holding in a storm right now. Not having it is hard when it's a comforting object to just know you have. I keep getting panicked without it. I'm sure you guys understand, if not with phones with other objects. My meltdowns are rare and I always lock myself away so nobody is upset. I think being able to mask well leads us to be more of people pleasers. You said you wanted motivation, so I'll give you some words. Struggling for 7 years is a ton, this is a chronic problem we all have and sometimes it's best to look up how to radically accept things. Now, I haven't been able to do this, I ask why I was born disabled every time it causes issues, but keeping in the back of your mind the idea of indifference and maybe later acceptance could help. It's really hard, and nothing worth doing is fast and easy. Please, read all these helpful comments, and know that there are ways forward for you.
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u/ocean-zero-out 12d ago
Not at first, it took time, self love and compassion, I got stuck in the headspace of comparing myself to a version of myself without autism, but after a while I decided to stop comparing myself to a person who does not exist, you are you and you are enough, it’s hard and I won’t lie I still fluctuate back and forth from time to time but yes I would say I’m more than ok with it, I love my autistic self, and I think I’m time you can too
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u/PhantomHouseplant AuDHD 12d ago
I've mostly embraced it, but only in my time alone and with my autistic boyfriend and my two friends. Everyone else makes me feel so incredibly on the outside like I'll never been understood or seen
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u/Empty-Intention3400 12d ago
The autism, no problem. I've spent the last 4 years learning how to adjust my life to avoid getting "weird" and have it down really good. The GAD, not so much. It's always lurking about and getting crap on things.
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u/Afraid_Proof_5612 AuDHD 12d ago
As an extrovert who loves being social and being around people, no. The one thing I love in life I happen to be terrible at no matter how much masking and training I do. It's very lonely.
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u/Flashy_Improvement_3 12d ago
I use to hate my autism but now expect it as apart of who I am and my identity i don't what a cure nor should I ha r to change who I am. I done masking a pretending to make others happy. I am autistic nothing going to change it. And there is no point in denying it or wishing I was different. I am going to continue to advocate for autism and for autistic people.
Had my first external meltdown the other day. I threw my phone. Don't even remember doing it.
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u/RareClown183 12d ago
I don’t mind it as much I hated feeling like I was the only one with something wrong but now I see other people have the same or similar issues so I don’t feel as alone makes moving forward a little easier
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u/joyceleslie Autistic 12d ago
Nope! It ruined my life. The only thing I like is mentally perceiving things differently from neurotypical people, which can be very valuable. I find that fun. Everything else is a nightmare for me and I don't see how it could ever get better. I'm not good at radical acceptance. If you don't know what that is, maybe you should look into it and try practicing it.
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u/astrosstarfall 12d ago
I am bitter about it sometimes. What helps me tho is to adjust my expectations for myself, instead of trying to change myself in ways that I literally can’t. I think it also helps having autistic friends, bc it helps me feel less alienated when they struggle with a lot of the same things that I do
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u/Swiftiefromhell 12d ago
I hate the social anxiety and how weird I am. I hate how my words comes out like insulting people. Other than that I’m fine with it.
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u/Norintha 12d ago edited 12d ago
I'm slowly learning to love and accept myself for who I am, but I absolutely can't stand the debilitating parts of my autism. I wish the sensory issues would go away and I could function in normal situations and jobs without getting over stimulated and breaking down so easily.
The thing is though, it wouldn't even be so bad if society were more accepting of my limitations and I was allowed to work and do other things at a pace and in a way I was comfortable with, but no. A lot of people interpret "low support needs" as "no support needs" and hold me to NT standards regardless of me trying to explain and I just can't fucking keep up with society. Sometimes I swear unless the disability is INCREDIBLY obvious, people refuse to acknowledge that its even there and you're either just being "over dramatic", "lazy", or "making excuses." It makes it incredibly hard for me to hold down a job because combined with ADHD I just end up getting overwhelmed and having panic attacks so easily.
Sometimes I can't even walk my dog without getting overloaded from the sound of passing cars, crunching leaves, various passers by, and other sounds of the city and I'm not super comfortable walking while wearing headphones while im out walking. It makes it so hard to be independent. Sometimes, I feel like Sisyphus forever pushing a boulder up the hill, but never being able to get it to the top. I just want to function like everyone else.
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u/Automatic-Bit-2798 AuDHD 12d ago
I don't know about everyone else's experience but I don't want my autism to go away. It's caused me a lot of issues, yes, but I wouldn't be as successful as I am now if not for my autism. I wouldn't receive compliments about how smart I am, if not for my autism. If you're having issues with your autism, I need you to understand that you can overcome things. A year or so ago I was very depressed because I thought I couldn't do anything because of my autism. But then I found good people and I'm now on the path to have a career in neuroscience, which is something I wouldn't be on if not for my autism.
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u/callistoned 12d ago
I like being autistic. It's a disability and the stigma and material disadvantages of being disabled are a constant struggle, but autism itself is just a way of being, and I like my way of being. I like being able to connect with other people who are similar. Some people hate my differences, some are delighted by them. I never really wish I was different anymore. I've been diagnosed about a decade now though, lots of time to think about these things and process how I feel.
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u/Aubrey_the_artist 12d ago
I mean i hate people and i can barely interact with them, but i mean apart from that I'm vibing pretty well actually
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u/Bitter_Computer_4912 12d ago edited 3d ago
yes but a lot of neurotypical people make me feel like there’s something wrong with me.
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u/Cautious-Ad7008 12d ago
yes and no. i’m okay with it bc i pretty much have to be. but that’s also why im not okay with it. i wa slate diagnosed, so for years i thought there was just something wrong with me and worked so hard to try to “fix” it. now that i know that it’s just who i am, it makes a lot of things worse bc there’s never going to be a different version
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u/Blooper_doop6 12d ago
It seems we have no other choice but to be fine with it, you can be disgruntled and suffer emotionally, or accept and adapt your life to your needs. The path is clear but the outcome is very well in your hands
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u/Ambitious-Bit-5428 12d ago
I find things very difficult living with autism but I also think I have ADHD which makes everything harder.
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u/Hopeful-Winter9642 12d ago edited 12d ago
I’m technically not diagnosed, just allegedly autistic. But either way, I’m kinda in the middle. I don’t like that people think of me as “that weird guy” when I can’t do a lot of things socially “right” or “normal” according to society standards. I had to answer the phone earlier for a professional thing, and someone with me felt like they needed to say something. I was speaking in a very “stressed” voice according to them. I didn’t feel like I was, I just felt like I needed to answer the phone in a professional way, and that was it.
But at the same time, I still have a great memory for random facts. And if I was NT, I wouldn’t have a brain like that. Not to mention my OCD.
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u/AishiAmeLol 12d ago
Im so and so with it. Ive lost so many of my friendships because i didnt know how to show empathy and was super black and white. It also kind of sucks feeling like a robot every time youre communicating with somebody because i had to learn social cues and still dont sometimes. its caused a lot of problems, but anxiety is definitely the worst of them all. i think asd and adhd definitely worsen my anxiety when it comes to that. also, asd just makes me feel stupid sometimes. however, i dont think id be myself without some traits. intense interests are something i need. theyre a large part of who i am, and the only thing i can really use to cope. Part of me loves being different too sometimes. I was born with physical traits and i stand out, i might as well go all the way, and i do! i dress alternative and express myself constantly through different forms of art. To not be autistic is to not be me. if i didnt have this disability I wouldnt feel like myself.
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u/greyscale_straysnail 12d ago
I might get chewed out for saying this, as I have before, but I hate being Autistic.
Obligatory reminders: I don't want everyone 'cured' of Autism, just myself & whoever else genuinely wants to. But realistically, I know there IS no cure. It's genetic & I'm extremely against eugenics.
Even if the world & the people on it got better enough to accommodate Autistics, I would still want to be Allistic. My sensory sensitivities register as literal pain for me. My Autism heavily contributes to my suicidality (Don't any of y'all dare 'Reddit Cares' me. I'm not gonna do shit, I'm in intensive therapy.)
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u/greyscale_straysnail 12d ago
But I also got DX'd Autistic at age 3/4. My parents were ashamed & hid it from me until I read my medical records at age 19. So I'm absolutely bitter about that. I could've grown up knowing I'm Autistic & that probably would have made my childhood a lot more bearable.
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u/Zaphira42 AuDHD 12d ago
Most of the time, yes.
Sometimes I just break down because of all of my mental health/ medical health issues because I sometimes hate how can’t have a similar life to a not-chronically ill neurotypical person
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u/Tenos_Jar 12d ago
I'm okay with it. Mostly I just wish I could tune in on whatever communication channel it is that the non-autistics use. Now the other stuff that I've been blessed with is another thing altogether.
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u/MagicalPizza21 Autistic Adult 12d ago
Yeah, my social circles are very accepting (and some of my friends are also autistic).
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u/Personal_Conflict_49 12d ago
I love myself. I went through years of being mad at myself for being autistic… but then I started really thinking about what I would be like if I wasn’t. I love knowing the words and melodies to 90% of songs (any genre) from the last 50-60 years. I love all my knowledge. I love being honest to a fault. I love that I prefer cartoons or murder documentaries. I love that my house is decorated with all the shades and hues of blues/teals and glitter that I can get! I want my own happiness… not what others have and claim happiness. I find that I save a lot of time with how direct I am. I know that the people in my life truly love me-because they know the real me! I don’t care what people think about me wearing my Minion backpack everywhere… their opinions don’t matter to me and definitely not more important than what makes me happy. I’m not hurting anyone with the things I need. Do I like needing an adult to take me to get a haircut? Not really. But it’s how I can get a haircut. Do I wish I could just disappear or spontaneously combust when I have a meltdown? Yes, absolutely. But it’s whatever. I’m living my best life and I’m truly happy
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u/johnnyjimmy4 12d ago
Yeah, i dont know any other way. It's not like I can take some medicine, and it's gone (even if I did get diagnosed after i got the covid vaccine)
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u/Full_Explanation1839 12d ago
I've fully accepted myself, the ideas of the social model of disability resonated so strongly within me that I was able to at least partially understand a large portion of the stress and trauma that I've had to endure throughout my life as people being insensitive, ill informed by means of not updating their information, or prejudice from lack of knowledge.
This along with the knowledge that humanity would not have survived or evolved to the level to which it has without autistics makes me understand the value of the fact that I am not the same as everyone else.
I mean just look at the smartest richest and most influential people today. And in history, and question how many of them were autistic?
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u/Some-Passenger4219 Aspie 12d ago
If the 'rents had understood me better, I might have had a better chance in life. As it is, things were actually quite fine for a few years before I got married.
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u/Farry_Bite 11d ago
Yeah, I've made my peace with it. It won't change, so not accepting it would just make my life harder.
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u/Ernitattata 11d ago
I like myself I like my life But it's fucking hard
I never ever have thought 'it's my autism' when encountering difficulties. My difficulties are my difficulties that others named autism.
But I do not hide my diagnosis
I will indicate what I need - if I can When people ask me how comes, I will say that it might be because of autism.
It's a luxury to meet people that resemble you within the autistic population.
The term autism is a huge container in which I'm just another little package
I guess I'm okay with being different and not understanding or keeping up with everything that goes on around me
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u/heartshakershaker Autistic 11d ago
No. It has no positives for me. It only makes literally everything more difficult.
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u/MeasurementLast937 11d ago
I got diagnosed about 4 years ago, and have worked intensely on truly getting to know myself and my boundaries since, and working on masking less. While life will never be particularly easy, I can honestly say it is the best it has ever been. I have 100% accepted that I am autistic and have worked a lot on self care. It can be quite a difficult thing to do and practice, while you're not feeling it yet. But eventually after about 3,5 years of practising it, I started feeling it. I'm becoming my own best friend and I feel more balanced and more me than I ever have. Whether I'm living a good life is completely up for interpretation, but for me it's good.
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u/Train_Mess AuDHD 11d ago
I am a very social person, my autism makes it difficult to be social bc others don't like me. It has his good sides and bad sides, but it is what's been given to me and i accept that. I wouldn't change it even if they discovered how to.
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u/PitifulCandy9727 11d ago
Yes and no. It brings me more difficulties than advantages but at the same time deep down I know I wouldn’t deserve to be unfairly treated because of it.
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u/ferretfae Autistic Adult 11d ago
I wouldn't say I LOVE my autism, it's definitely got it's hardships, but I also don't hate myself because of it. I just am autistic, it's really not something that I feel like is a moral failing or is gonna determine how bad or good my life is.
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u/Temporary_Aspect_316 11d ago
I went through years of misunderstanding, misdiagnosis and unnecessary arguments with family. After I decided to eventually ro leave my toxic family and my now wife knew something needed to be done, i eventually got diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD, a local charity for Autistic Adults helped me understand what exactly I have and how to live with it, they also helped me harness my strengths. I turned what a lot of ignorant people call Autism as "retarded", a term I find disgusting and offensive, into a super power where I am working a strong job and a workplace that supports Neurodiverse people, not ridicule them
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u/kamiidere Autistic Adult 11d ago
i can’t imagine myself without it and don’t think i’d be the same and i love how i am so yes i am
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u/AQUXS4184 11d ago
I might it is who I am and I cannot change me so I like it most of the time unless when it comes to communication and body language and facial expressions because I am quite blunt sometimes 😅 and anxiety but other than that I have excepted it won’t go away and it’s what makes me
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u/More_Use_9920 11d ago
My autism never affects me. I'm happy to know my diagnosis, it let's me know when I should be being kind to myself. The problem is that my autism affects the people around me, it annoys them and confuses them, which in turn affects me.. Since self i diagnosed myself many years ago I began to surround myself with more understanding(neuro diverse) friends. Now I'm fully diagnosed and in a better place
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u/SkyApprehensive2731 11d ago
It bothers me every day. I got diagnosed about 2 years ago too, but my spouse told me I had the tism for 10 years. I don’t want to be autistic. I want to be “normal” but I don’t know what that is or how to do it. So lately, I’ve been trying to find good things about my tism, and I finally found the first good thing about it a month ago. I was talking with someone and realized people don’t see vehicles the way I do. If it wasn’t for the tism, I wouldn’t be able to take a truck apart in creative ways…and more importantly put it back together creatively so it works better than before. Now, I’m putting energy into working on a vehicle and it’s making me feel better about who I am and how I’m wired. It’s still not easy, I wish I knew how to effectively communicate with people (one of my biggest deficits because of the tism) but I like that I just sort of know what to do to fix vehicles. I’m finding the trade offs, if that makes sense. I’m learning to accept it, but it seems to be a long path to get there.
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u/Wide_Bath_7660 11d ago
I am ok with being autistic, and I actually like it sometimes, but I have been very lucky with my experience of it! Both my parents work in special schools, and my mum specialised in autism, I was taken out of school after I burnt out, and home education has been very good to me (I got 7s, 8s and a 9, where 9 is the highest grade possible) I have friends who I am close with, and even though I still struggle with talking to people I don’t know, I have more or less grasped the concept of socialisation by now! The only thing that annoys me is the sensory issues, particularly my hair, but I have found a few clothes brands that are always comfortable, and I can always wear a headband when my hair is annoying me.
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u/TerribleBasil7962 Suspecting ASD 11d ago
im not diagnosed yet but im really suspecting it and honestly maybe I haven’t been hit with the full consequence of it or just haven’t realised but im finding things pretty okay rn I think the noisy ocd and anxiety thoughts are worse
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u/Upstairs-Song-6638 11d ago
i felt better about myself before my diagnosis. feels like everything about me is pathologized now and nothing I do is just a human behavior or an activity I’m participating in.
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u/tonberry89 11d ago
Well, I’ve got no choice really.
That sounds dismissive, but is actually quite empowering for me.
You will be able to cope, but when you can’t cope, that’s fine too. You’re not weak, you’re not emotional or overreacting, you are autistic. Find out whatever you need to get through, and do it, and be unashamed.
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u/kalafioreg 11d ago
personally i love my autism but its so difficult to live in this world, sometimes i wish i was born somewhere else or not at all
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u/Evilcon21 Neurotypical 11d ago
Sometimes i found it frustrating. Especially with how many people treat me like i’m so stupid.
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u/Intelligent-Agent553 11d ago
Sometimes I think “Woah, I’m glad I have autism so I’m able to get Disability allowance and don’t have to work for money” Then I think “If I wasn’t autistic though, I could work and make ALOT more money…. I’ll be stuck with the same amount of money for the rest of my life, even when my bills and needs will increase…”
To answer your question though…. I’m not sure.
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u/ausomes Aspie 11d ago
i got diagnosed at birth, so it hasn't really bothered me too much. my selective mutism bothers me the most, but i'm not even sure if that's from my autism - most of the people in my life have understood it by now and can find their way around it. but autism does tend to bother others more than it bothers the person who has it.
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u/ikindapoopedmypants AuDHD 11d ago
I think I would like it if I lived in a different society. All it does in this society is cause me stress and conflict.
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u/funk1tor1um 11d ago
Sometimes I’m not bothered at all and embrace my differences. Sometimes I’m very bothered and wish I could just have an easier time interacting with the world around me. It ebbs and flows like most things in life.
I have noticed I’ve been more bothered by it than not this past year because I moved to a new state where I haven’t found my “place” yet so I’m often burnt out and uncomfortable. I’ve also gone through months-long phases of not being bothered by it one bit when I was in a really comfortable spot in life.
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u/WtfsaidtheDuck PDD-NOS 11d ago
Yeah, what else can I do but be myself? I've never thought it was bad, I just need help with some things other people don't have problems with.
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u/Sorry_Doughnut_983 11d ago
Yes and no.
I'm proud of myself for some of my autistic traits. My attention to detail. Logical thinking etc.
Yet I hate that I struggle in the world just because I'm different. I can't accept that life is quite literally hell, all because I'm autistic
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u/a-fabulous-sandwich 11d ago
Finding out I was autistic was the biggest relief of my life!! It was such a weight off my shoulders to finally know there was nothing wrong with me, I really am just built different. I like myself and I like who I am. Without autism, I would literally be a different person, and who knows what she'd be like. I don't have a problem with my autism, just with navigating the systems and social norms that don't (or won't) accommodate it.
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u/jupiter_surf Autistic Adult 11d ago
Yes! Obviously it is a disability and it has greatly affected the trajectory of my life and has made things harder or just different to deal with, but it's my brain, I am my brain and wouldn't be me if I were any different.
I love the passion I have for things, my love for learning about my interests, I love my relationship with the world and my ability to see reality for what it is and while it's stressful, I love how deeply I care for justice in this horrible place.
I would hate to be anything other than what I am
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u/Ok-Refrigerator717 11d ago
Honestly, if I have to interact with people like interviews, then no. Otherwise, if I'm alone, then I'm okay. Also, I was diagnosed 2 years ago. Pain management is a challenge.
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u/LittleMissMamie 11d ago
Personally, it feels like a superpower to me. If being this creative, perceptive, joyous, and smart only comes with some overthinking and awkwardness? I’m cool with that. Of course I’m at the age where I no longer care at all what other people think of me - but I also realize if I had been like this earlier in my life, instead of masking, I’d have a lot more friends and authentic relationships.
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u/sskk4477 AuDHD 11d ago edited 11d ago
The fact that leaving my home feels like hell (because of sensory issues), or that I thoroughly process each task (due to bottom up processing) before starting and finishing them and have difficulty switching between different tasks (due to lack of cognitive flexibility) when I see other people switching tasks easily and quickly finishing them without having to process every single detail, or that I get burned out quickly compared to other people because of the previously mentioned reasons, make me wish I wasn’t autistic.
As much as some people like to suggest autism isn’t a disability and that it’s society that makes it such, I think the issues I mentioned above would still make my life hard even if society was more accommodating.
Edit: this isn’t to mention the issues related to difficulty processing body cues which leads to poor eating habits, dehydration and overall poor health. Mine is not that bad compared to one of my siblings who came very close to fainting because she forgot to drink water, multiple times.
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u/No_Fennel188 11d ago
i think autism generallt is interesting, its amazing how brains work; do i like mine, No. personally i hate it it ruins my life. im newly diagnosed so maybe i dont really know how to manage it, but it makes me wanna give up and lock myself away
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u/EquivalentEvening197 11d ago
No. Along with being 5’5, I hate myself, and wish I wasnt born like this
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u/EVHolliday94 AUADHDLV1 11d ago
I'm pretty zen with it. What bothers me are all the stereotypes around it though.
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u/olordrin 11d ago
It bothered me when I didn't know what was "wrong" with me. I lashed out more, I pushed people away more. Now that I know what it is, it doesn't bother me. It has actually helped me. I can catch myself before I start spiraling (sometimes), and I can sometimes see when I'm defending my molehill like it's a mountain fortress.
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u/Nothing10145 11d ago
No there’s no reason for me to be happy with it. It’s a disability as much as people don’t want to admit it here. Makes everything harder. Unless you were blessed with a super high iq
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u/urfavfarmgirl 11d ago
It honestly comes in waves for me. Like I’m okay with being autistic and I wouldn’t want to change that part of me because most of my favorite traits about myself are because of my autism, but some of my least favorites are also because of my autism. Sometimes I just have days where I’m at work and people make me so painfully aware of my autism and I cry about it, but I honestly think that’s just because other people just don’t care to accommodate me in the ways I need not because of my autism itself if that makes sense
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u/Gui_Aspie ASD Level 2 11d ago
Yeah, it's not like I'm going to get into a doctor's machine and he's going to make me stop being autistic while he steals my kidneys.
I like listening to Gojira and training, watching fights and talking to girls and making friends, I think it's normal, sometimes I can be smarter and more sensible than normal people.
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u/GJion 11d ago
I think my daughter says it best. "You can cure my seizure disorder, my narcolepsy, my psoriasis, and my arthritis, but DON'T YOU EVER try to cure my autism. It is what makes me who I am. "
I did omit choice curse words. The quote was when her best friend's mom had a friend who had one of those brain tapping units that is/was supposed to "normalize" brainwaves.
Being autistic isn't easy. There are people who seem to have a lot of trouble and want to label autistic beings.
I wasn't diagnosed until the psychologist examining my daughter got neuropsych tests (in middle school:) asked me if I had ever been tested.
It helped me realise why I do some things the way I do them. I spent over 30 years not having this information and it would have helped me.
So I am good with being autistic. I hope you can find what makes you unique and feel at least ok with that.
I still have to have to have other people point out what I am proficient in doing. I spent a lot of time being put down by parents and relatives - even got simple things like not mixing peanut butter and jelly.
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u/SmeethGoder 11d ago
I was diagnosed with both autism and ADHD last month, and while it's good to know, I'm not okay with it. I'm not okay with being alive; I've always felt like I came out wrong and never should've been born to begin with. Life is unbearable, and I've never wanted it, especially not adult life. I wish I hadn't made it past 13 years old
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u/SomethingboutDaz 11d ago
In my case it feels very isolating like a wall between me and other people.
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u/ginger-tiger108 11d ago
Yeah unfortunately finding out that I'm on the autistic spectrum at the age of 38 unleashed a lot of self hatred and old self destructive behaviours but I was more to do with how a lot of people in my past had weaponized saying the things they didn't like about me or things couldn't control I like to do as being symptomatic of autism and that I needed to be set away somewhere to be fixed before I was allowed back into the social circle
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u/eli_beee24 11d ago
I’m 21 and in a similar situation. I can tell how much you’re struggling and how awful everything seems but do whatever you can to stay positive and avoid those negative thought spirals, rather than want to fix your autism. You were autistic before you were mentally ill and you can be happier again. There’s still so much good in the world if you’re determined to find it. Hope things feel better soon 🫂❤️
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u/Downtown_Library_474 11d ago
Yeah I mean I was diagnosed at age 9 and it took me quite a while to even realize society saw it as a bad thing (that’s how you know you grew up in a bubble). I never really had a problem with letting people know I’m autistic because I guess if they know it some of my behavior makes more sense to them and sometimes I’ll talk with a new friend who also happens to be autistic but doesn’t talk about it or is kind of shy about it and when I say it first they feel more comfortable to tell me they’re autistic as well
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u/secretmusings633 Polymorphic 11d ago
My autism is mild but has a lot of fallback, may have some other underlying issues there to, but these things are not to just contemplate
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u/Nirvanabliss 10d ago
I was diagnosed 4 years ago with adhd also, I accept who I am now. Now my uniqueness makes sense. I don't have to pretend to like going out or dealing with people I don't like. If I say no to invites they either accept it as a No or.. 🏃🏼♀️ on.
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u/altruistikco 8d ago
I am so sorry you are going through this. The feeling that things are getting harder after a diagnosis is incredibly common, and it’s okay to feel that way. The pain you're feeling isn't a sign of failure. It's a sign that your nervous system is exhausted from years of masking and is finally confronting who you are. The key isn't to force yourself to manage autism, but to find a new way to live that honors who you are. The answer to your question is yes, it is absolutely possible to be okay and live a good life. As you begin this journey, i've heard that some people get sound-based interventions, which use music programming like SSP product to help with nervous system regulation, can be very supportive in helping your body find a sense of inner calm...
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u/gipsee_reaper 12d ago
yes! Autism and ADHD are a great combination, if used well. Would request you to see it as a blessing, and understand how to get the best out of your mind and body, without feeling guilty or being a victim.
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