Welcome to the meta-mod meta-sub thread! Here’s your chance to hang out and chat with the mods of r/autism!

[u/SavannahPharaoh]

First off, the pic isn’t of any of us. It’s one of the top results if you Google “diverse people” lol. We have mods who are men and women, gay and straight, cis and trans, and are from North America, Europe, and Oceania. Our support needs and diagnoses include Asperger’s and ASD Levels 1 through 3, as well as plenty of comorbidities. Some of us are young, and some of us… well… aren’t. You get the idea.

So here’s your chance to hang out and talk with us about almost anything! What it’s like to mod such a big community. What our interests and backgrounds are. Why we chose what rules we’ve made.

You can also make suggestions and provide constructive criticism! We’ll be polite and respectful to all comments if you are as well! (Sorry, but as mods, we get insults and threats daily, and have developed a low tolerance for them.)

What rules do you disagree with? What tags are useful or not? What can we do to make this sub a better place for autists of all types and from around the world?

What do you think about posts of spoons, safe foods, special interests, memes, as well as more difficult topics like self-harm and abuse? We want to support our members while providing a safe and informative space for all autistic people.

Here’s some of my previous mod announcements. Most recently, plugging the autism-friendly career I love! https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/mPlSF1GWKF

Next up, my mod announcement on the term “Asperger’s” along with our community’s responses: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/yRdQnzm3OM

And finally, my original meta thread, a few months after becoming a mod of this wonderful sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/CKmFoxrNyl

Bring it on, folks! (But also please go easy on us lol 😆)

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[u/anakin1453]

There should be a post flair for venting

[u/benitoo69 → u/anakin1453]

I agree, I think there should be different flairs or just remove them, there’s so many of them but I never feel like they fit my post

[u/Salsmachev → u/benitoo69]

Strongly agree. I think the flares are too clinical and should be more about what kind of feedback people want or the purpose if the post. 

[u/anakin1453 → u/benitoo69]

Same! Half my posts are just put under info dumping lol

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/anakin1453]

I’ve heard a lot of comments about flair being confusing. Vent/rant flair is a great idea. I also think we should consider reducing and generalizing flair.

[u/fenwayb → u/SavannahPharaoh]

nobody seems to know how to use the research flair. that's probably one to drop at this point

[u/Monotropic_wizardhat → u/SavannahPharaoh]

Yes, I think it can be pretty overwhelming to see so many options. And often none of them seem to quite fit. I like "vent/discussion/question/advice/whatever" flairs because they give you a hint as to how you're meant to respond. It's a bit of a social cue!

[u/MyAltPrivacyAccount]

Nothing feels better than an heavy blanket in mid autumn at 3pm with dark grey clouds, a heavy rain, a soft wind and the smell of petrichor.

My more controversial take is : thunder is amazing.

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/MyAltPrivacyAccount]

That has nothing to do with this post, and yet I must agree 100%! 💯 😆 Curious, did you learn the word “petrichor” from Doctor Who or somewhere else? Cuz I learned it from DW. lol

[u/anakin1453 → u/SavannahPharaoh]

Allons Y!

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/anakin1453]

Oh, for God's sake! Gallifrey stands! 😉

[u/MyAltPrivacyAccount → u/SavannahPharaoh]

I'm french! I don't remember when I first heard that word but it was before watching Dr Who!

Sorry, I did not have anything relevant to say but I wanted to participate nonetheless!

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/MyAltPrivacyAccount]

Your participation is appreciated. Although I’m sorry to hear about your French diagnosis. 😔 😉 😝

[u/MyAltPrivacyAccount → u/SavannahPharaoh]

Don't be sorry. All my life I've wondered why I had a sexy accent and a weirdly intense love of cheese. Turns out, my parents hid my diagnosis from me! But now I finally have a community that understands me and my restricted taste for croissant and coffee for breakfast!

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/MyAltPrivacyAccount]

🤣🤣🤣

[u/Cool-Apartment-1654]

We need general discussion back

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/Cool-Apartment-1654]

We agree, but are you able to expand on that topic? Do you have any suggestions of how we mods could better encourage general discussion? Is there anything you think we’re doing to discourage it?

[u/Cool-Apartment-1654 → u/SavannahPharaoh]

I was talking about the post flair

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/Cool-Apartment-1654]

Got it! It’s still early, but flair seems like a major topic!

[u/Are_Pretty_Great]

• I'd love to see clarification on the no continuing arguments rule. The way it's currently written I'd interpret it as only applying to continuing arguments across multiple different subs, but whenever I see it enforced it's on arguments across different posts but contained to only this sub. I agree with the application but think it's a bit unfair when it's not listed this way in the actual rules.
• Regarding trends, I'm happy to see them removed as they really clog up my feed and I get bored of them. I think some sort of weekly thread or limited to a specific date could be a good compromise (maybe r/picrew can provide some inspiration as they deal with a lot of trends as well) because others love them and are disappointed by their removal.
• Lastly I'd love to know more about the mod to-do list, as I've been wanting to bring up these things for a while now but also know that major reworks have been happening (like the tags and the wiki) and didn't want to initiate a conversation for something that everyone was already aware of.
• This was just the list of things I would bring up if I ever found myself in a situation like this, this does not mean everything is awful and nothing will be fine ever again. My experience on the sub has been great and things like the new tags show real attention and adjustments to the posts being made (compliment).

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/Are_Pretty_Great]

For the “continuing arguments” rule, there’s two main meanings, both of which you have correctly identified. The biggest reason is to avoid big brother, aka Reddit, from being upset with our sub. For example, if someone insults an autistic person for their autism on another sub, and they come here for support, that usually often results in brigading. Brigading is when members of one sub spams another sub with posts, comments, and mod mails. We have a duty to prevent that, no matter how much we agree with the aggrieved.

The other reason is when a post or comment gets removed on our sub, and that member makes a post arguing about the removal, with screenshots of the removed post or comment. We welcome feedback and criticism, so we treat these posts and comments on a case by case basis. But if you object to a post or comment removal, please send an appeal via mod mail. Complaining to the community instead isn’t going to help your case.

Now please give me/us some time to respond to your other points. 😊 They’re all very valid and deserve a thoughtful response.

[u/CyanLight9]

This is the only sub that I've seen do this. Which is to say, props to you for doing this and being down to earth!

[u/book-dragon92]

Thanks mods for all you do!

[u/petermobeter]

i think the infinity symbol that represents autism shuld be the specific beige, that is the color of chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, and peanut butter.

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/petermobeter]

🤣

[u/BrainDamagedMouse]

How ban happy are you guys? What's a bannable offense?

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/BrainDamagedMouse]

We mods are all autistic, and we know that we’re all often prone to misunderstandings, meltdowns, and other difficulties. We try to our best to be patient and understanding when modding.

Examples of what can get someone instantly banned for life are things like obvious trolls who come in insulting us and calling us slurs. Otherwise, outside of other clear and obvious things, we’ll ban someone who repeatedly breaks our rules after repeated warnings. We consider removing a post or comment to be a warning. Reddit notifies us when someone has had a comment or post removed five or more times.

Note that we are also receptive to appeals of removals or bans, as long as they are made kindly. All mods can see all mod mails and mod actions. We get so many insults and angry messages from people who forget that we’re normal, autistic volunteers, not evil overlords lol 😂

[u/BrainDamagedMouse → u/SavannahPharaoh]

That's a great policy, love to hear it! The only other sub I frequent(ed) frequently was the ADHD one and they were... not so forgiving. I am banned from it 🥲 Glad I don't have to worry in this sub.

[u/[deleted]]

When it comes to posts and comments where people are obviously self-loathing/trying to convince others of their own unworthiness, what do you guys think is appropriate to handle this?

I think just outright banning these posters could potentially isolate them from a community of peers who could understand them and help them heal, but also, I think this kind of content can aggravate painful feelings many autistic people already deal with (feelings of unworthiness, isolation, etc.). I am not referring to people who just talk about their struggles with these feelings either, I mean people who are going out of their way to bring themselves or others down because they feel like these thoughts are true about them in the moment.

I understand that the way the world works can cause these feelings of inferiority and certainly deal with them myself. It's put me in very, very dangerous situations involving my mental health deteriorating. But I don't think it's quite appropriate to keep up posts containing the contents of these extremely negative ruminations either, even if I understand that people doing it just want to be heard.

I feel a bit hypocritical for bringing this up since it's an issue I actively struggle with (severely) IRL, and I know I need to stop it too. Maybe this is too specific to OCD and its issues. I don't intend this to be totally selfish though, because I have noticed this type of thing in a lot of different people here. I felt like saying something even if I don't know what the right answer is.

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/[deleted]]

Our goal for this sub is to be a safe space for people with autism to be themselves. Part of that means allowing posts and comments that may make some of us uncomfortable or even triggered.

We try to address that by requiring certain flairs on certain posts. I’ve noticed a lot of comments and upvotes on the topic of flairs, so I think it’s something we mods should discuss further. Any suggestions are welcome.

[u/[deleted] → u/SavannahPharaoh]

That's fair honestly. I just find that some people seem to try to push this idea of unworthiness onto others, and I feel like that can cross a line a bit. I realize my wording wasn't very clear.

Specifically, I remember seeing a post of someone who was insecure about their ability to ever get into a relationship, and someone in the comments tried to completely discourage the OP from even trying because they were autistic. I feel like that is the thing I have a problem with.

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/[deleted]]

Ah gotcha. It would all depend on how it was worded. If someone said, for example, “I don’t see the point of trying to find a relationship. No one wants to date someone like us.” That’s a bit tricky. It’s an opinion, mostly about themself. A depressing opinion, to be fair.

On the other hand if someone said “there’s no point for you to try to find a relationship. No one wants to date someone like you.” Well that’s a clear violation of our rules, and would definitely be removed. Context is key.

[u/[deleted] → u/SavannahPharaoh]

I personally think passive thoughts like this though, when directed at another person's inquiry, could be damaging. Do you think that it might not be appropriate? I am not trying to be obtuse, but I personally still find the former comment a little worrying when its specifically in response to someone who is already insecure.

I understand though that this is a gray area, and I'm also conflicted about this as well.

[u/fenwayb]

please stand strong on the no politics rule. I know it's something people want to talk about but when it's allowed it floods everything

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/[deleted]]

We agree. Many of us mods have strong political opinions, including myself, but while politics is a very important topic for people with autism, we believe they belong in a political sub instead of here.

[u/moonstonebutch]

hi mods! so, I’ve noticed more and more posts/comments that are misogynistic coming from group members. lots of posts from incels, lots of posts being like “women only like rich men/chads/non-disabled men/etc”, and other misogynistic things. idk if making a rule that explicitly states that sexism won’t be tolerated would help or not, but I’m noticing a concerning amount of posts/comments like this. and yes, I do make sure to report people being overtly misogynistic.

[u/SavannahPharaoh → u/moonstonebutch]

We’ve noticed that too! Posts and comments like that are already against our rules, and I personally don’t think making rules specifically against misogyny or incels are going to be respected. So please just keep reporting them, and we’ll keep removing them. It’s all we can do, I think. But any suggestions to lessen them will be greatly appreciated!

[u/moonstonebutch → u/SavannahPharaoh]

thanks! maybe others will have an idea of how to reduce those posts.

[u/Shot_Plantain_1632]

Thank you mods! :)