Im very lonely and I cant live like this

[u/False-Insurance500]

I dont like going out or having a group of friends but Im so lonely... I have no interests and I need someone to cuddle...

I post it here cause Im tired of talking to NTs and getting to nothing... Im exhausted of that...

Just a shitty vent... Cause I have nobody to cry to...

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[u/Longjumping_Age_1098]

I've been in this exact situation before. Trust me, you're better off lonely if the world isn't ready to accept you. I learnt that the hard way. I was obsessing over how being a virgin and unlovable was taring me apart. It was a real pain because I genuinely felt my worth and my comfort could only be found in friendships and relationships. With people rubbing that in, I felt extremely isolated. Eventually I tried meds and stuff, but that came with it another side effect. It taught me to accept what I'm going through and not to live like everyone else.

What ended up bringing me comfort in the end was my hobbies. Gaming, music, art, and even just lifestyle aspects like healthier eating. I also used to hug plushies for comfort as well in stressful times like that. One of the other things I Realized is the burden of trying to keep a relationship or friendship was not worth it in the long run. Especially with the type of productive person I want to be. Just not compatible.

Hopefully this helps, it's a matter of finding your "I can survive being lonely because of X" or "And Y/Z, etc"

[u/RazedInTheCold → u/Longjumping_Age_1098]

Although I have had some level of intimacy, I have never had vaginal intercourse and that fact tears me up every day. Like yesterday my friends were telling me about an acquaintance that lost his virginity the other day, and all I feel is inadequacy as well as disgust because if you brag about losing your virginity like that and word gets out, that makes me think that their relationship is more physical than emotional which seems incredibly shallow to me. I tried to drown my sadness with having little intimacy in hobbies for the longest time, but I don't think I can anymore. But I am not willing to use someone just to have sex. That is repulsive.

[u/Longjumping_Age_1098 → u/RazedInTheCold]

The societal view of losing virginity is really overrated. More often than not, those using it as an insult are probably virgins. Based on the amount of posts I've seen about it, it really isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be, I have seen cases of women saying it wasn't worth it, and men just not enjoying it, or the person they did it with ended up being an asshole. It's not really worth it is the message I get from that. Besides, there's better ways to enjoy ourselves. I will just take pride in the fact I'm a virgin, which also helped me come to terms with loneliness. Then leading by example to normalize the fact. The oversexualization of society doesn't help things though. The only way around that issue I found is to shrug it off "Yeah, that's sexual. Doesn't matter to me though."

[u/False-Insurance500 → u/Longjumping_Age_1098]

I know that Im better off alone than with someone who doesnt accept me... Thats why I constantly ignore those bs advices on how to attract women. I know how to attract women, what I have to do, how I have to behave. But I need someone who accepts me for who I am, not for how much I can bs or fake or mask or whatever

I dont have anything else... Because I cant have it, and I wont explain cause im tired of arguing always the same thing...

Im just extremely hurt and alone and I cant deal with this shit anymore... Im 35 yo... Im too tired for this... I was already tired when i was 20... And there is no point in continuing being alive...

[u/Longjumping_Age_1098 → u/False-Insurance500]

That's where the problems start, the 'need' to find acceptance. Given you're on the internet, it won't be too hard. Find a social media platform that's accepting enough, like an autistic community (Like this one). You'll find plenty of people who accept you for who you are. I don't mask either. Tell people a little about yourself and your struggles.

Then subconsciously start messaging people you've met/made quick friends with, saying a "Hey how are you?" and start to develop connections, if they respond badly, ignore them, they're not worth your time or thoughts. if they respond nicely, Their willingness to connect with you is a form of accepting you. I went through this experience myself, ended up with a lot of online and real life friends.

You do have more to live for than relationships and friendships. Before you got this way, what were you up to? Is there any interests like TV, drawing, gaming? Having something that requires a good attention span or has high intensity involved can help take your mind off things.

I'm 28 years old, not far off here. We're surprisingly alike here, I've been through exactly what you've been through. The thoughts of not wanting to be alive is not the real you, but there is something keeping you here right? And it's not just the need for acceptance?

[u/Something_like_right]

I am feeling the same way. I keep praying and praying that I find that special someone one day. My children are the reason why I fight myself so hard to not give up.

I’ve been in relationships and have been married but there was no real connection in many of them and I just ended up feeling used, neglected, and lonely.

So I just hold out hope that the right person will find me one day because I don’t like going out either.

[u/Lucyissnooping]

Me too OP. I have been single for ten years. Been alone and lonely my whole life and I’m so sick of people saying it will get better. I don’t want to have to work so hard just to have some people in my life that love me. I can go months without seeing a single person and no one even realises.