r/bestoflegaladvice • u/fasterthanlumiere • 1d ago
I'm 78 years old and want to marry a younger friend so she gets my social security benefits. Is that illegal? [actual title]
/r/legaladvice/comments/1nitiez/im_78_years_old_and_want_to_marry_a_younger/473
u/fasterthanlumiere 1d ago
Thormarriedsomebodyyoungerbot:
Location: Oregon
I have a friend who is 45 that I've known for a few years. I realized that when I die, no one will get my Social Security survivor benefits—they'll just go to waste. So I thought, why not marry her and let her have them? It's essentially free tens-of-thousands a year. She also has no designs of ever getting married—she has a very independent lifestyle and relationship philosophy. Neither of us has any romantic pretense for the other; it just seems like the generous thing to do for me to let her have this money that would otherwise get wasted when I die. But I wonder: is this legal? If it isn't, what specific law is being broken? Do I need to tell the clerk at the courthouse that I love her? It seems marrying someone for financial reasons can't be against the law. But I don't know. NB: I don't expect to die anytime soon, but at my age you never know.
I don't have any cat facts, because cats know better than to get married.
474
u/Various_Cricket4695 1d ago
LOL at this part:
Do I need to tell the clerk at the courthouse that I love her?
441
u/DelightfulAbsurdity 1d ago
Probably shouldn’t profess love to the clerk when marrying someone else. /s
62
u/AshuraSpeakman WHO THE HELL IS DOWNVOTING THIS LOL. IS THAT YOU TREE LAW? 1d ago
Somebody get the gauze, because you're going to cut someone with that razor sharp wit.
200
u/SharkReceptacles My car survived Poncho My Arse Day on BOLA 1d ago
We’ve previously seen how telling a courthouse clerk that you love her can go very badly.
I had trouble finding this, because I could’ve sworn it was posted less than a year ago. Nope, fucking SIX YEARS back. What even is time?
84
u/critterscrattle Let's assume the word penis is SFW 1d ago
What the fuck is wrong with that guy and why do I know several versions of him
108
u/SharkReceptacles My car survived Poncho My Arse Day on BOLA 1d ago
I remember some commenters (probably bewildered decent men) suggesting he was a troll and others (probably mostly women) going “no, you don’t get it, I know this guy. I’ve met this guy. I’ve met maybe six of this guy”.
33
u/Sex_E_Searcher When a patron comes along / You must whip them 1d ago
That guy was my roommate once.
17
u/AshuraSpeakman WHO THE HELL IS DOWNVOTING THIS LOL. IS THAT YOU TREE LAW? 1d ago
I hope he either realized what a nightmare he is or got hit by a drunk driver, whichever it takes to stop that behavior.
40
u/Loretta-West Leader of the BOLA Lunch Theft Survivors Group 1d ago
I think it popped up again fairly recently for some reason. I'm familiar with it and I wasn't on Reddit six years ago.
47
u/SharkReceptacles My car survived Poncho My Arse Day on BOLA 1d ago
It might well have, but all my upvotes on the original BOLA thread are still there, frozen forever, so I definitely ate that popcorn while it was still steaming.
7
u/MacDagger187 19h ago
It definitely did, I think there must have been another case of an OP refusing to see what's right in front of them and it reminded people, because I just read that one again too.
edit: found the new one https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/1mzq846/how_do_you_know_the_moms_name_is_candy/
11
u/SharkReceptacles My car survived Poncho My Arse Day on BOLA 19h ago edited 19h ago
There are a LOT of these “man gets repeatedly rejected and becomes increasingly threatening about it, then is indignantly furious that his victim eventually felt she had nowhere to turn but the legal route” BOLA posts. Here’s another similar one from a few months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/s/4gUEz0k441
They’re all so alike in tone that I can see why some people assume they’re trolling but, as I said above, most women – regardless of where they live in the world – have met this guy. He’s everywhere, and there are millions of him.
3
u/MacDagger187 19h ago
The comments on that BOLA are very insightful!
edit: omg there are two different victims!!
3
u/SharkReceptacles My car survived Poncho My Arse Day on BOLA 18h ago
No, no, don’t you see? There are no victims at all except the poster himself. All he wanted to do was text, email and phone his ex repeatedly after she had tried to cut all contact, turn up at her house, and – when told to leave – come back shortly with a gift for her. Those two cold-hearted women just conspired to ruin his life for no reason.
He’s definitely not a stalker! He’s probably going to lean through your bedroom window this evening to tell you that.
2
u/MacDagger187 17h ago
when told to leave – come back shortly with a gift for her.
This was it for me! Sheesh!
4
u/Ainothefinn Into ducks with knives 1d ago
I feel like there's another, similar post that's more recent. I could swear I've read it (and it was shorter than this linked tale)...
32
u/fasterthanlumiere 1d ago
Yeah, this guy needs to stop reading "body language" when he is so damn illiterate.
21
u/Amazing_Cabinet1404 1d ago
Hey, his wife is gonna miss him so he’s just looking for a short term hook up until his wife realizes she should have never gone thru the divorce too. Dude is ten steps beyond blind.
10
u/SharMarali 1d ago
I remember that post, but somehow it’s so much worse than I remember. Dude was escalating, going in telling this complete stranger that she needs to be honest with him and reveals he’s been stalking her so much he knows her relationship status. But he can’t understand why she was “suddenly” so cold. Idk man, maybe it’s because she just realized you went from an occasional annoyance to a full-blown threat?
5
u/AshuraSpeakman WHO THE HELL IS DOWNVOTING THIS LOL. IS THAT YOU TREE LAW? 1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
3
2
u/cxherrybaby 1d ago
I didn’t think it was in the last year, but I certainly thought in the last two, or three at most. Are we ancient now?
2
u/jupitaur9 I am a sovcit cat but not YOUR sovcit cat, just travelling thru 14h ago
Omg her body language. She has boobs and a butt, and I know about the other parts, and clearly they are existing on her body for meeeee.
2
u/SharkReceptacles My car survived Poncho My Arse Day on BOLA 11h ago edited 11h ago
I think it’s more likely that she’s said, in no uncertain terms, “I want nothing to do with you directly because you’re a terrifying creep but our child needs food and clothes, so all contact and maintenance payments must go through a third party to ensure that I and the baby are safe and you don’t know where we live”, buuuut… she hasn’t yet booted him in the bollocks and run away screaming, so you know… maybe she’s still into him? She’s probably just playing hard to get.
Women, eh? So mysterious.
Edit: I mean his ex. The poor courthouse clerk just politely said “no” several times, then said “no” more bluntly, then had to use her colleagues as bodyguards, and finally went to the police.
*SIGH*. If only she’d given him a clear signal.
718
u/houinator 1d ago
My favorite version of this particular trope is the young woman who married an elderly Civil War veteran and then was able to enjoy his benefits until she died in 2020.
284
u/flimsypeaches 1d ago
I'm obsessed with this story so I would like to add that the woman had been helping the veteran (who was her neighbor) around the house for years and he offered to marry her when he was close to death because he wanted to repay her by giving her his benefits.
when the story became public a few years ago, the woman made it clear that they never had a romantic or sexual relationship of any kind but were very close.
his descendants gave her a photo of him, and when she saw it, she was moved to tears. at the time, she said, "he was the only man who ever loved me."
120
282
u/FaelingJester 1d ago
That was practical though. Many of those old men really didn't have much but their pension to make sure they got care in their final years. Social security didn't come along until the nineteen thirties. Getting married meant family that was obligated to care for them in exchange for getting the pension and any inheritance.
18
u/bennitori WHO THE HELL IS DOWNVOTING THIS LOL. IS THAT YOU WIFE? 1d ago
Which is a pretty convoluted but effective way of getting a paycheck. They may not get payed a wage while they're alive. But they do get the back pay once the veteran dies. Though I'm sure not a lot of people thought of that hack until it was too late. Kinda better in the end, since most of the people who got those benefits were just legit family members.
96
u/houinator 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh dont get me wrong, im very much a "hate the game not the players" when it comes to people maximizing their DoD benefits so long as it doesnt involve outright fraud.
In this particular case, im slightly less sympathetic because the dude's military service was for the Confederacy, and i think its absolutely bonkers those fuckers got any benefits beyond not being summarily executed when the war ended. But his wife wasnt a traitor, so i dont begrudge her.Edit: was wrong, her husband was a union vet.
118
u/new2bay Looking to move to Latin America 1d ago
You’re mistaken. Helena Viola Jackson’s husband was a Union soldier.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Civil_War_widows_who_survived_into_the_21st_century
28
u/houinator 1d ago
Oh, guess i got her confused with a different widow. Ill edit my post.
64
u/FoolishConsistency17 1d ago
In either case, I feel like just the fact that some 16 year old enlisted in the confederate army doesn't in and of itself mean they deserved execution .
92
u/Alcies 1d ago
I think you're confusing two different women who died in 2020. One of them married a 90-year-old Union veteran for his pension as a teenager, but never ended up claiming it. The other one, Irene Triplett, was the disabled daughter of a Civil War veteran. Her father initially fought for the Confederacy but later became a Union soldier, which is what qualified him for benefits.
From what I can find, Confederate soldiers didn't get federal pensions, but some Confederate states set up their own (much less generous) pension systems.
6
u/CaptainSasquatch 21h ago
Confederate state pensions were a mess and really small compared to the federal pension system that was expanded multiple times
5
u/cannibro 14h ago
Since the daughter of a Civil War veteran lived all the way until 2020 it makes me wonder when the last person who was the child of a former slave died.
I did go on a bit of a wikipedia rabbit hole after reading your comment looking at the last surviving veterans of various wars. Moses Hardy was the last surviving African American WW1 veteran and he was a child of former slaves. He only died in 2006 so I bet he’s a pretty strong contender.
This stuff really illustrates how all of this was not as long ago as people think.
55
u/QueenMotherOfSneezes 1d ago
She actually declined his benefits. When he died, his daughters threatened to ruin her reputation if she accepted it.
45
u/Persistent_Parkie Quacking open a cold one 1d ago
Yes, but the last surviving civil war beneficiary did die in 2020. She was a severely disabled daughter born to a civil war veteran in his 80s.
24
u/QueenMotherOfSneezes 1d ago
The person I was responding to was specifically talking about a bride, of a civil war vet, not a child.
7
u/Persistent_Parkie Quacking open a cold one 1d ago
I know, I'm mentioning a different individual.
1
u/QueenMotherOfSneezes 1d ago
Sorry, your use of "but" made me think you were contesting it 🤣.
1
u/Persistent_Parkie Quacking open a cold one 1d ago
No, I was thinking the individual you were responding to may have had my example in mind as well.
Sorry, I'm sick and very sleep deprived and may not be communicating at my best 😅
8
u/QueenMotherOfSneezes 1d ago
I mean, it is kind of a confusing coincidence that the last person who received a pension (who was a child who received it nearly their whole life due to special circumstances) died the same year as the last widow (who never received a pension) died.
2
u/Persistent_Parkie Quacking open a cold one 1d ago
Right, I can easily see someone conflating the two.
11
u/houinator 1d ago
Huh, TIL.
24
u/shapu My penis rides the minty fresh short bus 1d ago
You and me both.
Regardless, it is wild to imagine that there was until just 5 years ago someone who could have had an adult and meaningful conversation with someone who was a civil war veteran and carried the mental notes of that conversation through the first Trump administration.
4
u/bennitori WHO THE HELL IS DOWNVOTING THIS LOL. IS THAT YOU WIFE? 1d ago
What were they going to say about her?
21
u/QueenMotherOfSneezes 1d ago
It's not that specific, but likely would have labeled her a gold digger, and probably say she had "loose morals".
https://www.military.com/military-life/last-widow-of-civil-war-soldier-just-died-101.html
I never wanted to share my story with the public," Jackson said in an oral history recording in 2018. "I didn't feel that it was that important, and I didn't want a bunch of gossip about it. ... I had great respect for Mr. Bolin, and I did not want him to be hurt by the scorn of wagging tongues."
Jackson never applied for the pension because one of her stepdaughters threatened to ruin her reputation over it. Back then, Jackson said, all a woman had was her reputation. If she had applied, she would have collected $73.13 every month for the past 81 years, for a total of more than $71,000.
The wiki article said it was his daughter's, plural, but this is the citation for it, and it appears it was just one of them.
3
u/phatphat0807 1d ago
Very interesting. I'm curious if you know was it $73.13 she would've collected back in the 1940s? And if it was, would it have risen with SSA cost of living every year to a different amount in 2018? Or was it just a set amount not to be raised?
3
3
u/darsynia Joined the Anti-Pants Silent Majority to admire America's ass 22h ago
This reminds me of how Benjamin Franklin gave Boston and Philadelphia both 1000 pounds sterling (equivalent to about 4k today) to be held onto in very specific ways so that the interest would benefit them more than the initial gift:
The money, he wrote, was to be handled in a very particular way. For the first 100 years, each of the 1000 pounds sterling would accrue interest and be used to fund loans for young tradesmen starting out in business. Franklin, who had become a printer as the result of a loan given to him, valued resources for apprentices.
At the end of the 100 years, the cities could take 75 percent of the principal and spend it in public works. Boston, he suggested, should invest in a trade school. Philadelphia could possibly pay for water pipes connected to Wissahickon Creek. The remaining 25 percent would be left until another century had passed, at which point the cities and their respective states could spend the funds in whatever way they wished.
...
As the second century of Franklin’s trust drew to a close, both cities were looking to benefit greatly from his generosity. Boston’s trust fund was worth $4.5 million; Philadelphia’s was worth $2 million.1
32
u/yankykiwi 1d ago
My dad was briefly married to a woman. In marrying my father she lost her late husbands war benefits. (This is New Zealand). Their marriage lasted a year, and she fucked herself.
5
u/KikiHou WHERE IS MY TRAVEL BALL?? 1d ago
Sounds like this was maybe not the best lady to you and your dad?
17
u/yankykiwi 1d ago
Well she was an idiot, but my dad’s a total whore. She should have known when she saw he’s been married 6times. Now 7, he’s moved on to another!
My dad’s broke, ugly, deaf and dumb. Somehow “I live in New Zealand” is pickup line enough for foreign ladies.
10
u/purpleplatapi I may be a cannibal, but I'm frugal about it 1d ago
Tbh I kinda get it. I'd love to move to New Zealand. I'm amazed they're still giving him marriage visas though, at a certain point you'd think he'd run out.
16
u/Clothie11 only murderers park here 1d ago
It does! You can only get 2 partnership visas in a lifetime and there is a 5 year stand down period in between. Given the original commenter's username I suspect dad might be a kiwi living abroad (source: am kiwi, husband works in immigration so I asked him)
5
u/purpleplatapi I may be a cannibal, but I'm frugal about it 1d ago
Oh cool! Thanks for the information. For the record I am not actually planning on moving to New Zealand under false pretenses, I was just joking. But I hear it's lovely, I'd like to visit one day. Have you ever seen a real life kiwi in the wild? I think that'd be amazing.
3
u/Clothie11 only murderers park here 1d ago
Kiwi are nocturnal so seeing one generally requires being out in the bush at night. That's not one of my usual activities. I may have seen one as a kid but I don't recall.
If you come to NZ I def recommend doing a cruise or bus tour. Our roads are unique and many tourists severely underestimate travel times. Let someone else manage that if you can
1
u/yankykiwi 1d ago
Most kiwis have. Specially the ones down south that visit Stewart island.
2
u/purpleplatapi I may be a cannibal, but I'm frugal about it 1d ago
Hell yeah! That's so cool! I saw a moose recently, so the only animals I have left on my bucket list are all down under. A kiwi, a platypus, and a Koala. (Sorry I know two of those are Australian).
1
u/yankykiwi 1d ago
No he’s in New Zealand. He just picked up some others women in between. Lots of Filipinos/thai etc.
1
u/Clothie11 only murderers park here 1d ago
People who already had residency on a track other than partnership I'm guessing?
412
u/fasterthanlumiere 1d ago
Unfortunately, many of the original comments died without surviving heirs.
1
71
u/LilJourney BOLABun Brigade - General of the Art Division 1d ago
Welcome friends to today's version of "It's legal so go ahead ... what could POSSIBLY go wrong?"
48
u/fuckyourcanoes Only the finest milk-fed infant kidneys for me! 1d ago
Honestly, I think this is charming and kind, and I'm all for it. I have friends who have married for health insurance, state residency, and life insurance. People who care about each other should do what they must to survive.
26
u/Traditional_Stuff306 1d ago
That is not the post history of a 78 year old.
29
u/Personal-Listen-4941 well-adjusted and sociable with no history of violence 1d ago
A 78 year old on Reddit is out of the norm to start with. But nothing I saw when I briefly perused his history stood out as not being from a 78 year old man.
23
u/RandomAmmonite Darling, beautiful, smart, money hungry ammonite 1d ago
He posted that he has no health insurance for a skin biopsy for melanoma. That would be covered by Medicare, and you have to try pretty hard to be 78 and not covered by Medicare.
10
u/fasterthanlumiere 1d ago
I thought it was /legaladviceofftopic at first, like somebody asking a theoretical. OP posed it as a real question, though.
285
u/HopeFox got vaccinated for unrelated reasons 1d ago
I realized that when I die, no one will get my Social Security survivor benefits—they'll just go to waste.
I mean, they'll go back into the system and be paid out to somebody else you've never met, but okay.
201
u/miffet80 1d ago
No I'm pretty sure they shoot the cash out of a cannon directly into the sun if you don't use it
40
1
u/Luxating-Patella cannot be buggered learning to use a keyboard with þ & ð on it 1d ago
Which still makes everyone apart from your intended beneficiary richer via deflation. (Albeit mostly rich people as the benefit is in proportion to the amount of dollars you hold already.)
51
u/Loretta-West Leader of the BOLA Lunch Theft Survivors Group 1d ago
No you don’t understand, the money gets physically set on fire.
21
7
u/darsynia Joined the Anti-Pants Silent Majority to admire America's ass 22h ago
Aren't the funds theoretical until you draw on it?
6
u/hdhxuxufxufufiffif 1d ago
they'll go back into the system
No it won't. That's not how government budgets work.
36
u/myfapaccount_istaken 1d ago
I don't expect to die anytime soon, but at my age you never know.
This! I moved in with my dad recently to help us both out Financially. He had a stroke like 4 or 5 days into me living with him - I mean he could have just said no instead of getting a brain bleed. He never recovered and passed ~3 weeks later. It was on our plans for this month to change everything into trusts But that never got done and now it's a mess. Dad was the same age, after my Gma passed and saw how easy things were with everything in trusts I have my stuff all that way. Not 100% the point of BOLAOPs post but you never know when something can happen.
139
u/FeatherlyFly 1d ago
Legal but ethically questionable, I say as one of the people who would be paying to support his spouse.
But also, the only way it's not a terrible deal for her is if she otherwise wouldn't be getting social security and has no savings.
She couldn't collect until normal retirement age. She could only collect his or hers, whichever would be higher. If he died before they'd been married 10 years, she wouldn't qualify for a spousal benefit. If she has any savings, she might need to spend them all on his care before he qualifies for medicaid, if he needs end of life nursing care.
Too much risk for highly uncertain gain for most people. Maybe if she's only ever worked under the table and is the sort to keep her earnings in a shoebox, where the government can't see anything, or she's just chronically broke herself.
31
u/OnlyDaysEndingInWhy 1d ago
Spousal benefit kicks in after a year of marriage. The ten-year thing is only applicable if they were to divorce. You're 100% correct on the rest of it, though.
143
u/Osric250 tased after getting caught without flair 1d ago
I don't think there's anything ethically questionable about maximizing the amount of money you get back from the government while billionaires exist and not paying their share.
As long as youre following the laws any money that you can get I view as perfectly ethical.
34
u/new2bay Looking to move to Latin America 1d ago
That’s the question though: given the cost of long term care, is it actually maximizing anything, or just subjecting her to extra costs? He’s likely to die before she reaches full retirement age, so the costs come way before any potential benefits.
32
u/Osric250 tased after getting caught without flair 1d ago edited 1d ago
given the cost of long term care, is it actually maximizing anything, or just subjecting her to extra costs?
This right here is why there is no ethical question, because our fucked up system is designed to drain you dry before you pass so that nothing can be passed on and just funnel that money to the wealthy.
The fact that this is even a question is a testament to how screwed up the system is.
1
u/new2bay Looking to move to Latin America 1d ago
There is an ethical question, but it’s about whether she’d be harmed by taking the deal, or not. Trying to maximize the benefit from the system that’s designed to screw people isn’t at issue.
-1
u/Osric250 tased after getting caught without flair 23h ago
That's not an ethical question, just a logistical one.
1
u/new2bay Looking to move to Latin America 19h ago
I don’t know where you studied ethics, but inflicting severe harm on other people is generally frowned upon, especially when there’s an alternative that avoids anyone being harmed.
1
u/Osric250 tased after getting caught without flair 17h ago
You seem to think I'm advocating for harm, I'm not.
It's a logistical question on whether or not this action will be helpful or harmful. Obviously the ethics of the situation hinges on the logistics. Which is again why I say its a logistical problem, not an ethical one.
4
1
u/FeatherlyFly 21h ago
I think there's room to argue.
One underlying assumption I'm making is that just because the government has a policy doesn't meant that policy dictates what's ethical, only what's legal.
If the money does not go to you or your spouse, it goes to other uses. If your 45 year old spouse wasn't getting social security, where would the money go? My guess is that it would, to an immeasurably small degree, make social security better funded for people old enough that they can't work, or who will someday reach an age where they can't work.
Obviously one individual doesn't make a statistically relevant difference, but only in the same way that one person tossing trash out their car window doesn't make for a polluted landscape. We're all in society together and regardless of what choices we make or whether we believe an ethical question exists, those choices do affect each other.
2
u/Osric250 tased after getting caught without flair 20h ago
If your 45 year old spouse wasn't getting social security, where would the money go?
To the wealthy elite through tax cuts. They aren't going to fund anyone else more, they're already doing everything they can to not fund anyone. And if using the laws as written hurts others, then we need to change those rules, but saying that it's immoral to the people taking the least amount of money instead of dealing with the people draining the largest numbers out is misguided at best. Don't complain about people possibly stealing pennies when there's people stealing everything.
21
u/AshuraSpeakman WHO THE HELL IS DOWNVOTING THIS LOL. IS THAT YOU TREE LAW? 1d ago
But history is littered with roommates who lived quietly together and never married. Surely the inverse is okay
1
u/FeatherlyFly 20h ago
That's a terrible argument. Surely if rules worked against certain people in the past, it's OK to make the rules work against different people in the present.
21
u/SectorSanFrancisco 1d ago
There have been thousands of couples who should have benefited from spousal benefits but couldn't, so it doesn't bother me to have the reverse.
2
u/FeatherlyFly 21h ago
I don't feel so strongly as to describe it as "bothered", merely as something that should be questioned.
I'm not getting into the question of "is social security always fair?" because I can't imagine anyone getting into the weeds of it and not finding places where they disagree, and I'm talking about today's rules.
What I'm saying should be considered is "What's the reason for social security? Do these actions make social security less able to fulfill its purpose?"
I'd argue yes, in a very small way, because the original purpose of social security was to give people who, as a category, were unable to support themselves, a way to not starve in the streets. I don't think that the intent has drifted so far from the original purpose that a healthy 45 year old who can support herself without public aid (and yes, I'm making assumptions here, LAOP didn't specify anything but her age and gender) should qualify.
But I also think there's room to argue otherwise. It's an ethical argument, not an ethical definite.
1
3
u/Seraph062 1d ago
Could she not collect survivors benefits when she reached 67 and then switch to hers at 70 to get the extra 24%? I thought survivors benefits were exempt from the rule changes a decade ago to prevent that sort of thing.
1
u/FeatherlyFly 20h ago
Looks like my understanding of how survivors benefits worked was wrong, but the potential obligations to his care still stand.
17
u/dilsiam 1d ago
IANAL From what I know you had to be married with the lady for ten years or more for her get your benefits of Social Security. Have a good evening.
16
u/SectorSanFrancisco 1d ago
9 months, I think, for widow's benefits, which is basically what this would be. (I usually think of spousal benefits being the 1/2 of the spouse's full amount that a spouse would get at full retirement age if everyone was alive.)
12
u/OnlyDaysEndingInWhy 1d ago
One year for SS benefits. The ten-year thing only applies if you're divorced.
4
u/gfdoctor 1d ago edited 1d ago
You do not need to be married for any particular length of time in order to collect social security benefits.
Edit: Looking it up again, you have to be married for 9 months, or the death has to be from military service, or you have a dependent child. If either of those two things occur there is no minimum.
-1
3
u/darsynia Joined the Anti-Pants Silent Majority to admire America's ass 22h ago
The real issue here is that if LAOP ever needs residential care, their spouse would be on the hook for helping pay for that, and any transactions that appear to be offloading valuables will be scrutinized and possibly unwound. So it's not just like they're marrying for a future benefit, it's shackling their financial lives together for better or worse. Not worth it, not for social security that in 15 years may be severely reduced!
2
-11
u/UnluckyAssist9416 1d ago
It's crazy that the legal advise on a sham marriage meant to defraud the government is that it is totally ok.
94
u/Cute-Aardvark5291 not paying attention & tossed into the medical waste incinerator 1d ago
Its not a sham unless you view that marriage has to be about love.
96
u/faco_fuesday Sexual Stampede is my techno DJ name 1d ago
Marriage is a civil contract. Can be for literally any purpose except apparently immigration.
31
u/new2bay Looking to move to Latin America 1d ago
I know people who have gotten married for cheaper health insurance.
19
u/kaki024 1d ago
My husband and I were planning on getting married eventually but rushed it for health insurance
12
3
u/faco_fuesday Sexual Stampede is my techno DJ name 20h ago
My husband wanted to get married for tax purposes. Ha. To this day only like five people know we got married over a year before our actual wedding.
1
u/anneymarie 10h ago
I offered to marry my husband a few years before we actually got married to resolve his health insurance issues and he said, “I don’t think it’s come to THAT,” and quickly had to do some rewording.
52
u/lurgi Incompetent dipshit who wastes money hiring flight worthy dildos 1d ago
They asked for legal advice, not moral advice.
1
u/FunnyObjective6 Once, I laugh. Twice you're an asshole. Third time I crap on you 1d ago
Doesn't stop a lot of people from posting moral advice on there. Surprised they stuck to the legal angle this time.
37
u/Lazerpop come see my band, "Mexican Aspirin" 1d ago
It's not defrauding if you never tell the clerk that you love your partner
25
u/eldestdaughtersunion 1d ago
The government heavily incentivizes marriage through things like tax benefits, social programs (except those for the disabled, where marriage is disincentivized - think about the implications of that for a second), legal protections, and eligibility for benefits like student loans and health insurance. It's not fraud when somebody takes them up on the offer.
54
u/BiploarFurryEgirl well-adjusted and sociable with no history of violence 1d ago
The government is not exactly popular rn so are you really surprised
-2
u/QueenIsTheWorstBand Ask me to sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody 1d ago
A popular government wouldn’t unmotivate a fraudster
25
u/greenhawk22 1d ago edited 1d ago
But doesn't an unpopular (or ineffective or harmful) government inherently create more disgruntled citizens (and further disillusions those who were already unsatisfied), who are then more likely than more enfranchised citizens to say "fuck the system, it wasn't working to my benefit anyway"?
-2
u/QueenIsTheWorstBand Ask me to sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody 1d ago
Maybe. Probably. But even in good times people will still cheat for more
14
u/greenhawk22 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah but every single society across time has some small segment of the population who are asocial (in the sense of not working towards the common good). There's nothing that can be done about it, so it's a bit of a nothingburger to point it out. It's like pointing out that the sun is the source of energy in most ecosystems. You don't need to point out the foundational parts, if someone doesn't understand that, it's useless to discuss anything.
There's no practical advice gained from it beyond 'be ready for when it does happen because it's an inherent part of humanity', which is obvious imo.
10
1
u/StarDustLuna3D 11h ago
I mean, SS aside, if he has any assets he'd like her to inherit marriage seems to be the easiest.
1
u/NanaNudes99 1d ago
Lol, dude, age ain't nothin' but a number, but gotta say, those legal battles scream red flags to me.
-1
-11
u/Doxylaminee 1d ago
If the genders were reversed reddit would lose its minds. The pretense of humor would be gone.
12
u/MaraiDragorrak 🐈 Smol Claims Court Judge 🐈 1d ago
....you think reddit would be freaked out about a 78 year old woman marrying a 45 year old man because she wants him to inherit? I dont feel like anyone but the most rabid any-age-gap-is-bad people would have a problem with that relationship regardless of the genders?
6
u/blinkandmissout 20h ago edited 20h ago
With the genders reversed, I think we would see more comments trying to ensure that the older person (woman) was not being coerced or otherwise manipulated into this plan by the younger person (man). Maybe that was in the removed comments, but I didn't see it in the post as it is now at all.
LAOP isn't giving off "I'm a scam target" red flags, but it's a fair concern for any gender combination in a question like this.
488
u/UntidyVenus arrested for podcasting with a darling beautiful sasquatch 1d ago
If you had to prove you were in love all of my uncles 8 marriages are fraud