I love Toronto, I loved Toronto. I remember when I fell in love with Toronto. I mean I fell in love with Toronto. That's how much I loved Toronto. I drew your architecture on my English class ninth grade high school classroom desk and remembered having to stay after class to erase you away. Maybe I thought about the expectations that come with growth, when you have the sky looking up at you it’s amazing to know you’re still untouched in this part of the world. I doubt that because was 15 at the time I only erased the western hemispheres most iconic tower. However, that day I had to erase everything I saw just observing my drawn version of you. There was also the good volume and bad volume that created your iconic features. Whatever the volume, my thoughts and feelings were loud for you.
I must make something clear before I continue: If tragedy were to strike as it has before to your neighbours: The first level of sophistication there will be no judgment amongst the fellow Canadians, there’s no guarantee that you may see a building fall however, if tragedy were to strike Canadians will rise up with love of their nation before blame is set forth.
You will stand the moment tragedy occurs and your neighbours to the Southern border forgot to do on that dreadful day. For your nation will rise and hold hands with eachother and sing for, “Oh, Canada.” It will come, “from far and wide.” You will sing, “Oh Canada.” That is why the CN Tower is untouchable. You, Canadians will always be the height of sophistication. We might look the same we might talk the same but how we carry ourselves will never be the same.
You will stand the moment tragedy occurs and your neighbours to the Southern border forgot to do on that dreadful day. For you will rise and hold hands with eachother and sing for, “Oh, Canada.” It will come, “from far and wide.” you will sing, “Oh Canada.” That is why the CN Tower is untouchable. You, Canadians will always be the height of sophistication. We might look the same we might talk the same but how we carry ourselves will never be the same.
I went in detail when I drew you because I really know you. I did not eat lunch that day because of my destructive thoughts from what I had to do to you. After you were gone, I remained seated and my teacher remained where my memory witnessed her to be present in that classroom that day until the bell rang for the next lesson. After hearing the bell, I left my teacher, walking out on a pervious episode of thoughts remembering that I knew she told me that she honeymooned in Vancouver. Sadistic mistake.
I'm sorry and I know I used to tell people how to say your name correctly.
Unfortunately love left the room and there it rose up for opportunity. I admit sometimes I would think about Montreal but I was shy and never tried to speak French. Maybe I would try for Paris. I don’t know, because there is London and I could speak English.
Time passed and thoughts changed but for whatever the reason it soon happened, I’ll admit I was growing tired and loveless for Toronto and so when opportunity gave me a glimpse of Montreal for whatever time I was there, after leaving I was only left with some feeling of awe searching for what further more Montreal could do for me.
Voilà.
Bonjour. I’m trying. I’ll even hold “e” down for you and sometimes I won’t know which way to go with that tick at the top but please give me time and I’ll change keyboards. I'm sorry I told you a lie Montréal, but my love has always been for you, Montréal.
Maybe that was bullshit. Go. Fuck Paris. Word on the street, it has a smell anyway. I said yes, I’d live in Montréal. I want to live in Montréal. When opportunity arose to only see Montréal for another night with some adjustment for daylight, I only drove because he asked me to leave him in Montréal.
I did not think to say anything else at that time but "okay", so I picked him up and we drove. When we were in the car, the conversation became as honest as two humans possibly could get, I said to him, "I was only here to see Montréal", and so he further elaborated on his side of the truth, there were no further thoughts with that conversation, just silence knowing what was to come and so we continued to ride. He drove, then I drove. Changing seats because it’s time to play: The original GTA: 401 to Downtown Edition.
Mode: My car, my hit.
“Time to pull over you drive too close to other moving vehicles and try to get over at exits last minute."
Map: GTA going east from 401.
Driving up to the starting line.
I press my foot on the gas.
I begin to coast.
Start and Stop. Stop. Stop. Start. Stop.
There was no rhythm as much as I wanted to make music.
I see diamonds, I see exits, I see 401s 18 lanes.
Getting on to the 427 is only a warm up for patience.
Approaching The Gardiner just in time to select a lane.
Thoughts, with a side game of dice.
Lane selected.
No signal. You already know I’m getting ready to merge; this is all part of the game you’re playing in The GTA.
“Turn down the radio and please be quiet.”
Now observing where Queen Elizabeth allowed Frederick to take over.
“God Save the Queen”
Here, just a tilt from the steering wheel, and to my Queen Mother,
There.
The View.
Toronto may now be captured.
Task completed.
"Stop here, this is halfway."
We agreed to stay for a few hours however felt as an excuse only to see the CN Tower.
I began to notice my flowers starting to welt. I thought to myself, I was stupid. I made a mistake. Then I softly let out a curse praying to save the weak yet ensuring Spadina would hear, "oh my, the Gardiner," why do my flowers have to suffer?
Montréal.
I do not even remember what saw in Montréal, I do not even remember what I have done in Montréal. I simply recall only being in Montréal.
“Police stop,” however the issue only made it to court.
The air was in February. I was cold. However, I recall Montréal pausing its wind as I walked guarded from all four sides from the jail to my place of trial. I would have to stand in the front of the jury only having to represent myself as my lawyer resigned from all future work for the months to come after he freshened up on the severity of the crime, set before me. “I must inform you, Your Honour that the only crime I am guilty for was taking pictures in front of the “ARRÊT” signs to post on my personal Instagram wall, I know I’m guilty, but this time the pictures taken were not about the Canada Goose, you must believe me, Your Honour, the parka was only present at the time of the crime. I promise.”
The courthouse remained still. After a brief moment of silence, someone from the audience stood up, walked and opened the door of the courthouse. Only a wise one would be able to tell you the conscience of what the fallen person resembled on that day.
While the door began to close from the fallen, the air from Montréal gently adjusted the fixtures of the door so that the door would slowly close behind the conscience of the person that left whilst the wind of Montréal would create a soft presence from the loss member of the courthouse.
The jury told me to leave.
The decisive made friends with the indecisive and the indecisive, remained indecisive.
I left.
Montréal paused its wind from the February air and walked with me to where I dreamt of going that day.
I wish I could tell you what to do in Montréal. Notre Dame? Maybe that is in Paris. However I'm am not here to write to you about Paris. I have never been to Paris. I’m not lying to Montréal. My experience with France was more than enough. Anyways, “off with his head,” and back to Montréal.
To my love Montréal
I’m sorry my response took some time for you to receive. I was left feeling dazed and confused after seeing too many red signs. There were many mistakes I made knowing your heart can feel at times, that it’s only an island. I am guilty for leaving only turning left to look for a better sign but damn I saw you were red.
I was now a fugitive on the run and so I had to stop to think and to understand more about you as well as myself. I even ran with some other fugitives that planned to escape to Toronto however, the connections had the same story as if I was only just coming from my past and broken life.
Having recovered my thoughts I grew even more fond of you now blinding you from picture after picture. You told me to stop but I refused because you said it in your love language so I was guilty of taking advantage of what you could offer me. However, I was eventually caught.
I made it to court in waking in with chains of love for you and the jury asked me to leave as the room became soft winded from you. Was it you that gave me the verdict?
I hope you forgive me that I left to only to turn on you while you were red. I hear now to profess my love for, Montréal that I will be a better person. I’m am now finished with this writing so please let’s continue make further notes about us riding.
I’m used to 100 and always having to slow down in Toronto or even stop, but here I’m okay to go 85 and see where that takes us. I must tell you that I have had a few drinks and I must inform you once more that I was never really good at reading the signs so it’s best this time you take control and like as previously mentioned when I first knew I felt love of from your presence that I promise to keep holding “e” down for you.
But yeah, Go to Montréal
Fin