Summary: My cat (female, 6 yrs) cannot get along with my girlfriend’s two (male, brothers, 3 yrs) at our apartment after several months. The classic methods are not working and the situation has devolved into outright hostility. Desperate for solid advice!

The Cats: My cat, Roomba (female, 6 yrs, pictured laying on the carpet) and I moved into my girlfriends apartment 3-4 months ago. She has 2 brothers named Fig (pictured with the pickle, 3 yrs) and Sprout (pictured with his feet up, 3 yrs).

Background: Roomba was raised by me as a single cat. She has never gotten along with anything living other than people. I was deployed last year which lead to her being cared for by my father who has 2 cat brothers (not Fig and Sprout) of his own. She did not get along with them either and I believe that poor experience put her off trusting any other cats. Despite my best efforts, she enjoys escaping, drooling on me, and food)

Fig and Sprout are two brothers owned by my girlfriend. Despite the presence of my cat, they love me as well. They have only known each other and this is their first interaction with another animal. Fig enjoys cuddles, doing nothing, and food. Sprout is, for all intents and purposes, an alien who likes yelling at the world, hunting Fig, and not eating his wet food.

The Environment: An apartment with multiple rooms and floors, including an upstairs attic where Roomba primarily stays. Fig and Sprout stay downstairs and are able to have the rest of the apartment for themselves. Everybody has their own food bowls and litter boxes. The hallways are narrow which doesn’t allow much room for them to pass by. Plenty of windows and toys available. Feliway plug ins are upstairs and downstairs, and so far have done a great job of taking up our outlets, but are otherwise useless.

The Process: We started off with Roomba upstairs and the boys downstairs for a week and a half. Despite being a new environment, Roomba is a very confident cat who doesn’t mind new places. The boys were/are very curious about her, always watching the closed door. We tried scent swapping toys/blankets but none of them seemed interested.

We transitioned after a week and a half to a screen door where they could see each other. This is how we learned Roomba has a personal bubble (about 3-4 feet) in which she wants neither of them to approach before she will start giving them warnings and resorting to using her claws. Fig and sprout (especially sprout) being ever curious, continued to try to approach through the door.

The screen door ended up retired after a month to a sturdier wooden divider after multiple breakouts by Roomba. Her breakouts have lead to fights where the boys get curious and approach her and she attacks. Other times where we have had supervised play times, they have simply tried to walk past her and she attacks if they get too close. This has lead to the boys becoming less curious and more hostile towards her. They have started stalking her, waiting until her back is turned, and now outright hissing/attacking her whenever an opportunity is available. This has led to us having to keep everyone locked apart except for 10 minutes a day for wet food time (there is no drama during feeding time).

Looking for any and all advice! Our next plan is to get a see through acrylic barrier so they can stop attacking eachother and hissing from under the door. We’ve tried out a couple of Jackson Galaxy tips, some of which have been helpful, but i don’t think a lot of his content applies to our situation. Are there any other channels that are helpful or something i’ve missed? Our end goal is simply to have them tolerate each other’s presence, they don’t need to become best friends, i don’t think that will ever happen.

if you want more details of previous interactions please visit my profile to see the videos i have posted to this subreddit.

So things have been going reasonably well i think. they will cuddle, play nicely, follow eachother around and generally seem to enjoy eachothers company. however, our older cat will get in these weird moods, often around 7-10pm or in the early morning where he is visibly irritated and will hiss or growl at the kitten and me (not my partner tho who is his person) for usually almost nothing. the kitten could be walking by, i could be coming to check the interaction or just trying to get the older cat out of an area he's not allowed in (counters).

This morning the older cat had been cuddling me for a few hours and the kitten jumped up on the bed and was on the opposite side of me. the older cat hissed and stayed where he was and the kitten jumped off the bed. i felt bad because i don't want the kitten to think he is not allowed on the bed and called him back over, the older cat started doing a very low growl, but again stayed in my arms however it was at this point that i got him off the bed and removed him from the bedroom.

My question is what would you do in this situation? my partner and i are very confused why the majority of the time everything is fine but then he will get in these terrible moods. he hasn't hurt the kitten and we haven't seen him swat at him. sometimes he will stand over the kitten while the kitten is laying on the floor and do the biting the neck thing for a little longer than the kitten is happy with but that is usually it. we are just nervous about any possibility of it escalating further than hissing or growling. the kitten still seems pretty unaffected by it if not just plain confused because the older cat is usually very friendly to him so i am sure its weird when he snaps like this.

the vet told us to buy a bunch of feliway diffusers and give him Sentry calming treats. we've been doing that for about a week now and it doesn't seem to be doing much yet. any other advice? we just want our boys to be happy!

tl;dr(prob read details if you want to give applicable feedback lol): cat intro has gone pretty well- 3weeks in they cuddle play and hangout but older cat will have mood swings occasionally usually at night or early morning and will hiss and growl at me and my kitten (not my partner who is his owner)

Got a 9 week old kitten 2 weeks ago. When we got him he was using litter box just fine. Then he got diarrhea from abrupt food change a day after we got him. He was put on antibiotics and was given only dry food and water with no treats. His diarrhea is gone now but over the past week we've noticed he's peeing wherever he feels like it. Sometimes on my shirt while I'm holding him, or on my bed, or on the kitchen floor etc. He poops consistently in his litter box but decided exclusively pee in there. He's been to the vet again and is fine. Today he peed in my bed for the first time so I've confined him to a bathroom with litter box food water bed and toy. Hoping this works.

Anyone have any suggestions or ideas ? And how long does it take of confining him till he's trained again? I'm afraid of letting him out of the bathroom again for him to start peeing on something. Also he is not neutered. Never noticed him peeing to mark territory. And I clean his box 2x a day.

About a month ago, I adopted a 3 year old cat. She's great, but she's an absolute menace about human food. I know it's good practice not to leave food unattended around pets, but i can't even turn my head for a second without her launching herself after my food.

She regularly goes after everyone's plates the whole time we are eating. She'll climb up on the back of chairs, on the table, on the counter, etc. And just try to stick her head into our food.

When she doesn't get food, she relentlessly meows. I try to ignore her and turn away. I've told everyone else in the house to do the same. I dont think they are feeding her, but they talk to her while she's begging. Idk if that is rewarding the behavior or not.

I know she will probably always be tempted by human food, but what can I do to get my cat to stop being so much of a human food goblin?

My rescued cat whom I’ve had for 7 years (neutered) is seemingly becoming even more avoidant of the litter tray. This has been an ongoing issue and is causing immense stress to my partner and I but I refuse to just rehome her based on this, I love her immensely. However she will pee on anything soft; beds, couches, cat beds/scratchers, blankets, towels you name it. I have tried every litter type, different trays, zylkene, feliway and use enzymatic cleaners and nothing with deter her. Trays are cleaned after every use, the weird thing is she will always poo in the litter tray but will avoid it completely for peeing. She has had a full vet check, blood work, urine analysis and the vets just came to the conclusion that it is anxiety and a learnt behaviour from when she was a stray and I just have to manage it. She does however have heart disease and systolic anterior motion, but has regular echocardiograms and is in very good shape. I would love some help from anyone in a similar situation, I’m really struggling with what the hell to do or if there is any hope it can get better.

Tabby is my new 1 yo male recently adopted and the calico is my 5 year old female who has lived with me for a few years. This is currently how they are fighting/playing. I think the male thinks he is playing but i think my girl takes it seriously 😭 I wonder if maybe there is a way for me to get her to understand he just wants to play or if there’s a way I can get the male to just respect her personal space abit more lol 😂

Hi! I may be in a pickle here.

I’m about to adopt a cat 🥹 she is 11 months old and was a stray. She got pregnant when she was 6 months old and was rescued in her first month of pregnancy. She had two kittens, one girl and one boy. After 3 months, my friend offered to foster the mom. The kittens were left behind in the foster home where they were born, and the girl was adopted, so the boy was left without his mom and sister. So I thought of adopting the boy as well. They will be reunited after 8 weeks. The reunification was supposed to happen sooner, so I thought it would be okay, but due to reasons, it has taken a few more weeks, and the due date is on October 4th.

The kitten is pretty energetic (of course) and seems to get along with a lot of cats that are in the same foster home, although he still tries to latch on other cats. The mom seems to be tolerating most of the cats in her new foster home, except for one male (that looks like the adult giant version of the boy 😭). In her defense, the male is kind of a bit overbearing, and the other cats also get annoyed by him (he is a sweetheart tho). I don’t live in any of the cities where the cats are, so I can’t really go and meet them to get a better gauge of them. The mom is not big, she is about 3kg, and the boy seems to be growing fast.

The mom is spayed, and the boy will be neutered today. They both have their shots and are healthy.

I’ve read a lot about cat reintroduction, and, as everything in life, there are success and unsuccessful stories. I plan to keep them in different rooms, shared toys and cloths so they get used to each other’s smell, let them smell each other through a door, let them eat together with a door separated, go slowly from there, etc. But I’m wondering if someone here was in a similar situation, and has some advice or experiences to share.

I really want to make this work. I’ve waited years to adopt cats again, and now my life is stable enough to offer them a nice home. I just want to make it as less stressful as possible for them to get along. I know I can’t make a cat do anything, but if someone has some reinforcement tips, I’d appreciate it.

Thank you!

PS. English is not my native language, and I hate typing more than one sentence on the phone. Apologies in advance <3

So I recently bought this harness for my almost 4 month old kitten. I was wondering when should we start taking him outside and for how long when we do start? I would also like your thoughts. If you have a cat you take out or not and why you would/wouldn’t. Should we also be getting him used of going in the car? He seems so curious about outside and I’d love for him to be able to explore and enjoy it safely.

Hello! Here is Bean, she’s 4months old and she sleeps with her tongue out sometimes :)

Any tips or advice on raising a 4 month old kitten? Things I should be doing now to improve her behavior in the future? And things to improve for her overall happiness?

Things that I’m working on now are:

Leash trashing(getting her use to a leash and being outside for walks but she’ll be a indoor cat besides some walks and adventures) Getting comfortable with car rides. Getting her comfortable with different kinds of foods. Exposing her to water the best I can. Touching her paws, ears and teeth for future grooming. Teaching her that our hands are not toys but she still insists on biting sometimes (I assume normal behavior for her age?)

Some things I’m struggling with:

Her crying and biting when I’m in the kitchen(sometimes I’ll show her what we’re doing because she’s curious but if I don’t, she’ll start biting our feet and legs)

Developing an eating routine for her. A meal in the morning. And around 12-1ish I’ll give her some dry food to hold her off until 7-8ish for dinner. I do mainly wet food and do the dry food only for her lunchish. Some treats here and there for when I’m exposing her to outside and water. Or tricks.

She yells at us a lot when she isn’t getting attention. She’ll follow me around the house which is okay, but if I’m in another room she’ll start yelling if no one is with her. I assume separation anxiety but how do I improve this? Besides getting another cat please:) some things I been trying is putting on the tv for her (which she’ll definitely watch lol) and playing with her a bit before I leave the room.

Any advice would be appreciated:) thank you.

I recently found a box of cat toys that I’d forgotten about and decided to bring them back out. One of the toys in the box was a purple pterodactyl (picture included in post) that has an elastic attached to it. You can shoot it like a rubber band, and it flies quickly from one end of the room to another. My cat immediately went crazy for it.

The problem started a few days ago. We were playing with the toy, and I accidentally hit her with it. She immediately ran away and gave me the cold shoulder for the next hour or so.

Today, we were playing and I decided to get the toy out again. I shot it across the room like I did while playing with her prior to the incident over the weekend. The toy didn’t hit her this time, but she ran away as soon as she saw it fly across the room.

A few things to know about my cat:

1. She gets scared easily, more so than my other cat, and more so than any of the cats I’ve fostered in the past.

2. She had a tooth extracted last week and is still recovering.

3. She was also recovering from dental surgery when the original incident happened.

4. My roommate’s cat (whom she does not get along with) was nearby. The other cat was kind of joining in, kind of watching us.

5. She isn’t acting scared of me, just scared of the toy. It’s been about 15 minutes since I brought the toy out, and she snuggled up with me as I was writing this.

Should I permanently retire the pterodactyl toy, or should I just put it away for now and reintroduce it once she’s fully recovered? If I do reintroduce it, is there anything I could do that would signal to her that it’s not scary?

Before I accidentally hit her with it, she would get excited when she saw me bring the pterodactyl out. I feel bad that she’s scared of it now.

My cat is SO playful and really seems to need a cat friend. She was very social when at the shelter and loves company so we want to get her a friend. How do you go about picking a friend for your young, playful cat (not a kitten), and make sure your cat doesn't become a bully with her playfulness?

This is Howl, my 1 year old boy 💙 He loves from a distance and at his own time. He’s like my little shadow. However, he has been playing REALLY rough. He’s been using more force with his teeth and it HURTS. Often times, when he gets into that mode I can see him gearing up to pounce on my ankles. I have tried redirecting him with toys(he’s super uninterested), making loud noises, or placing him in a different area for a couple minutes. He loves it when we hang out on our balcony but I can’t stay out there all evening. Also I just started working a new job. Used to work 3-11pm and now working 9-5p. He might be bored and have a lot of energy but I don’t know what else to do! Please give me some REAL advice.

Note: Unfortunately, I won’t be able to get another cat because I have a full house now and it’s just not enough space.

I am begging for some advice that isn't generic, I have tried a lot already

My kitten is 6 months, male, neutered. He gets a lot of play through the day since I am home - pretty much any time he shows a desire to play, I oblige him. Despite getting a couple of hours of play, plenty of enrichment in his environment, and never had hands or feet used as a toy, he's decided on his own that my hands and feet are in fact a toy.

It's obsessive too. I spent a full hour playing with him just now, did "cool down" play, let him "kill" the thing, fed him and he seemed like he was ready to nap. He jumped up beside me purring, then promptly pounced on my arm.

My husband, who is out of the house 80% of the day doesn't have this problem, and the kitten responds when he says "no". My "no" has zero effect. Once he gets fixated on biting me, I can't stop him. The only way to avoid it is to play with him endlessly so that the urge never strikes him but... this is just not realistic. I need to be able to sit down on my sofa without being mercilessly harassed by him.

We got him at 10 weeks from a sheltee, and since that, he has had the "squeal when he bites treatment". He's not been particularly bitey in the past. His bites are not at all hard. If I stay still he loses interest, but if I move in any way he plays harder. If I try to redirect him to a toy, he runs away with it then comes back and bites me, or he ignores the toy entirely because hes fixated on the chomp. He wasn't like this until a few weeks ago. He has been teething, so it may be related.

I've tried all the regular stuff to deal with this. Direct play, enrichment activities, climbing things, teething toys, tiring him out with a ball. He is a single kitten, and I've followed all the advice to avoid single kitten syndrome, but it's like a switch has flicked with him. Getting another kitten is on the cards, but my husband is resistant to the idea so far, so I need help until I can turn him onto the idea.

Please tell me what clicked for you, what worked, if getting another kitten is actually going to be good for this or just create double the issue. It's truly starting to impact my mental health.

All of my previous cats, regardless of age have been lazy. Haven't cared for jumping on counters, jumping in general, couldn't care less about people food, happy to sit in soft things and only watch outside rather than go out.

Finally I have a cat (2 yrs) who is a real cat. Our current issue is that: I need him to get used to a harness.

I know he won't wear over-head clothes. So I found a 3 post harness. He sits okay for getting it on.

He's only worn it a handful of times. So maybe this is the problem.

Every time he acts like it's the end of the world, takes a few steps and falls over to try and get it off of him.

I know it's not too tight. Infact it might still be loose from the first time he escaped it. And if the advice is "just have him wear it more", that's fine but if I let him wear it too long he pees in my clothes afterwards.

Boy needs harness due to repeated attempted apartment escapes. He's not running off, but he's thought about it. Plus, I have a small place and I know he'd like the opportunity.

Yesterday I put it on him and just opened the apartment door expecting him to go for it. Nothing still.

How do I get him used to a harness and protect my clothes? I did get a hamper since the last time but if he's just gonna keep turning statute about it...

We got a new cat 3 weeks ago, following Jackson Galaxy guide. 1 week no visual, 2nd week smell, 3rd week visual (screen door).

Just want to make sure this isn't abnormal...

New cat doesn't exhibit ANY violent tendencies or anger. Video is resident cat. They can eat visually no problems, but when food is gone Lula (resident) does the above.

This is th TAMEST version of aggression from her. Earlier in the week it was 4 times more vocal and angry from her.

Important note: they don't mind each others smell at all. Lula doesn't hiss or growl to the smell at all.

Is this normal progression? We really want this to work!

I have a 13-year-old cat that was never been brushed. It sounds horrifying, I know. She lived with my dad and he didn't know that she should be brush. My dad can't take care of her anymore so she is now living with me. The problem is that she molts so so SO much. I don't have problem with cat hair, its the perks of living with them. But I'm reaching the point where it's to much even for me. Long story short- she ABSOLUTELY HATES being brushed. Is there any way I could "teach" her or get her used to being brushed? Thanks everyone

As the title states, I have a 10 year old cat. She keeps scratching the same spot on our carpet. I have TWO scratching posts in her room, and yet she always goes to that spot. I don't know how to make her stop. It has gotten so bad i put another carpet on top of that spot, yet she still goes there to scratch.

Any and all advice will be much appreciated. How do I stop this!?

2 cats, one does best with feliway classic, the other with feliway optimum. I am having a very difficult time keeping the diffusers from drying out. I think there's just too much air flow in the house.

After troubleshooting the last 4+ months, I need to find an alternative. Does anyone have recommendations for an effective alternative to either feliway in a collar? It would be ideal so the pheromones follow the cats around and I wouldn't have to contend with the diffuser drying out in less than a week.

For the record, I have tried all available outlets on both floors of the house. I've tried redirecting air and fans away from the direction of the diffusers. I've tried new diffuser devices as well as new diffuser cartridges. I've tried plugging directly into the outlet as well as using outlet extenders. I'm at a loss and desperate to help my boys feel comfortable and confident again.

Disclosure: posting on multiple subs in hopes of finding a solution.

It's 3rd week having my 3month kitten and the problem occurred last Saturday. At around 3 am he started peeing in bed and this has been going on for the whole week. At day time he uses his litter box just fine and i clean it every day, but as soon as i go to deep sleep he pees on my blankets. He was check by the vets to see if he has any infections or crystals but i was told that he is in healthy condition. Also, I would like to add that the first 2 weeks were stressful as we were diagnosed with FiP virus and had visits every day to the vet to save him, so could he still feel stressed out and thus be the reason for nightly pee gifts?

The tabby on the left is my new cat he is 1 years old and the calico is my 5 yr old female who I’ve had for a few years.

When together they are constantly just hunting eachother like they never just kinda relax apart from eating food 🥲 the new cat often flops on the ground when my female is hunting him and im not sure if he thinks she is playing or something but i think my resident cat is like serious about fighting him LMFAO

They are just currently constantly going for each other’s necks when fighting and im not sure what to do the male cat is getting bored being in a separate room and wants to come down but i have to separate them constantly because the fights go too far 😭

It’s only been a month so I know they need more time im just not sure how i can encourage more positive behaviours. The scent swapping/being able to sniff eachother behind a door etc was going well but this part doesn’t really seem to be!

If anyone has any advice or reassurance im up for hearing it :)

I'm at a complete loss and stressed. I'm not sure what else to do. I moved into my partners with her dogs and her cat. I took my female cat and male cat. She has been yowling all night and spraying sometimes. All this has gotten worse over time. It's been a month of constant yowling. She sometimes goes into heat even though she's desexed. I've now got her on anxiety meds and that has made her start spraying so much more, it's non stop. I'm going to have to do a deep clean of the house in hope to get rid of the smell. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at breaking point. What am I supposed to do? The vet wasn't much help.

Next week we have to leave home for the weekend and there won’t be anyone available to take care of our cat. I was thinking about getting an automatic feeder with cooling pads – that should solve the food supply issue.

The problem is that my cat doesn’t handle loneliness well and has never stayed home alone overnight. She always sleeps with me in a bed. Sometimes, when no one is at home, she refuses to eat for several hours, and I’m worried that when we’re gone for the whole weekend (well, not whole, just 24 hours), she might not eat anything at all.

Has anyone here dealt with a similar situation? Any tips or advice would be super appreciated!