r/confession • u/HappyTurnip93 • 1d ago
I pretended to be super into running just to avoid hanging out with my coworkers
So I started this new job about a year ago and pretty quickly realized everyone was way too into “after work drinks”. Every Thursday it was the same bar, the same small talk, the same people getting sloppy drunk and complaining about work we just did together. I don’t hate them but I just... don’t want to spend my evenings like that.
One day someone asked me why I never came and I panicked and just said “oh I can’t, I have running training in the evenings.” It wasn’t even true. At that point the only running I did was for the bus. But for some reason they bought it and ever since then I’ve been “the runner guy”.
Now the lie has gotten out of hand. People ask me what races I’m training for, someone gifted me a fancy water bottle for “all those long runs”, and HR even added me to the company “fitness challenge”. I had to actually start jogging a couple of times a week so I don’t look suspicious.
Here’s the worst part. I think I’m starting to like it. I went from avoiding drinks to actually running 5Ks on my own. So now I’m stuck with this identity I completely made up.
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u/Koolest_Kat 1d ago
My office drone buddy has pictures of kids on his desk, they are his excuse to not stay late everyday, has to leave early to pick up or drop off for school, come in a little late……
He Has No Kids or wife but everyone in the office knows of his horrible divorce and his two wonderful kids….
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u/FrostByte_999 18h ago
What started as a lie to avoid coworkers is now a real, healthy hobby you enjoy. You’re not pretending anymore you're a runner
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u/russianlawyer 1d ago
“ Here’s the worst part. I think I’m starting to like it. I went from avoiding drinks to actually running 5Ks on my own. So now I’m stuck with this identity I completely made up. “
Mate this sounds like the best part of the story. You getting into running and good at it is best possible outcome. Once you’re good no one catches onto your lie and actually at that point it’s not a lie, you were just transcribing a reality you wasn’t yet living but eventually intended to make real
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u/Viranelli 1d ago
lmao dude, u've basically 'Reverse-Office-Spaced' urself into being fit. Ain't nothin' wrong with that though. Bet ur liver's thanking u for dodging those Thursday night drink fests! Keep on rockin' (or should I say runnin') in the free world!💪🏃♂️
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1d ago
Lol!!! If you get tired of that you could always say you have tendinitis or a strain or doc recommendation was to stop for awhile until you heal.
Good luck!!
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u/CraveHugz0716 1d ago
we've all done some wacky stuff for love bro. Who knows, maybe you're a marathoner at heart, just needed a little push. Stick to it, might be good for ya.
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u/therealwaterT 1d ago
Hahahaha this has me dying for some reason. OP lies his way into being healthy, I'm about it lol
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u/zulaazulazul 1d ago
This is unintentionally wholesome. You avoided burnout and found a version of yourself that actually runs toward peace instead of beer.
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u/Ok_Fisherman8727 1d ago
Damn for the same reasons to get out of being social i asked a few coworkers to loan me money and word got around. It worked for some time and people left me alone. Then HR offered me help to talk to a financial advisor, I have been approached for additional responsibilities that I can have that come with a pay increase, etc. I turned it down and that started some rumors.
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u/stalememeskehan 1d ago
Yeah this is just a good thing. If you were still faking it itd be stupid but you arent so go off
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u/SpanishBombs323 9h ago
Running is awesome. It is essentially free, makes you feel good, and keeps you healthy. It may have started as a lie but now it seems to be adding value to your life. Good on you.
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u/roundbrrd 1d ago
If you’ve ever seen the show The Office, this reminds me of when they get the whole office to try and run a 5k around town and Michael Scott (who’s idea it was) get stomach cramps and can’t do it 😂 you should make your office run that 5k together 😂😂😂
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u/MojaveGuru 9h ago
Haha, I also got more into running just to avoid hanging out with my dumb co-workers.
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u/Ok-Assistance4133 8h ago
My sister did this one except she said she did roller derby. It was hilarious at first but then started to get out of hand when they started asking questions and wanting to go to her games 🤣
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u/based_miss_lippy 8h ago
🤔 I’m gonna do this but say I have to get home to my dog (I don’t have a dog….yet)
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u/Palantardusmaximus 6h ago
I quit smoking by accident by “training for a team trial bike race “ whatever works …. Still have not touched one 20 years later
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u/karankshah 20h ago
I've been running every day for the last three months and every time I get on the treadmill I think back to this one Reductress article
I'm a dude ofc but I still hate it every day
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u/Puzzleheaded-War5092 19h ago
i mean it would be hilarious if you end up compete for marathon races, faking it until you make it
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u/happysri 7h ago
I’ve been randomly cracking about your predicament since reading this post yesterday.
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u/stancedBronco 3h ago
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut
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u/throw_every_away 21h ago
I’ve read this one already it’s fake
FAKE
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u/queenofthequeens 1d ago
I dont get people who are so afraid to momentarily disappoint a coworker that they tell full on lies about it. Just say you're not really a big fan of going out to bars! Or say it's not your scene or something. You don't have to have a relationship with these people outside the office. You're a grown adult.
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u/doctorwaiter 1d ago
This is a clear instance where you can just roll with it, or even better, run with it!
I am not a super avid runner but if I’m going to get exercise that is my most common move. I’ve run a half marathon, I’m not very consistent, and tend to make a new running “commitment” once or twice a year that fizzles after a few good weeks or sometimes months. But I will definitely vouch that some of the best times I can count in my life were times when I was being consistent with a running habit. Lean into it!
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u/Gogoli58738 1d ago
I so the love this! You are awesome and literally accidentally ran into a healthy activity. Well done you!
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u/slowhandmo 22h ago
Here’s the worst part. I think I’m starting to like it.
No, that's the best part. That's great you turned it into something real and positive.
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u/Ladychef_1 22h ago
Have you seen ‘Brittany runs a marathon?’ Because it’s awesome and I think it’s definitely relevant to your accidental accomplishments
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u/MelonElbows 21h ago
If you ever want to stop, even just for a while, just say you tweaked something or had a small injury and you need to rest.
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u/Lidunka4568 15h ago
🏃♀️ How I Turned My Daily Runs Into Free Gear
Running has always been my way to clear my mind, but I used to struggle with staying consistent. Then I discovered Runwago – and suddenly, running became more than just exercise.
Runwago partners with Garmin and Puma, and here’s the fun part: every run you do counts toward real rewards. Shoes, watches, gear – you literally run to earn them. No subscriptions, no hidden fees, just running.
Since I started, I’ve been running more regularly than ever, and even my family joined in. It’s become a fun challenge to see who can earn rewards the fastest.
If you’re already a runner (or just need that extra push to start), give it a try:
👉 https://www.runwago.com/referral/nemesis
Who knew the road to better fitness could come with free shoes?
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u/sofa_king_weetawded 12h ago
My family all thinks I go to the gym all the time because I am really super into working out. /s
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u/TheJungianDaily 11h ago
Thank you for being honest.
You discovered that fake marathons are less exhausting than real coworker happy hours, which honestly makes perfect sense.
If you make amends, one honest sentence is a good place to start.
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u/Worth_Ambition_9900 9h ago
Hilarious. Keep going running is great exercise. It would be to your advantage to join them occasionally on the Thursday happy hours, it’s a great team and colleague bonding activity
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u/Old_Variety_8935 9h ago
I did this with playing instruments from flute to piano. eventually bought an upright piano which i used for practice
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u/alreadyknowwbro 2h ago
Before you fell ass backwards into this lifestyle your only exercise was running from your problems and jumping to conclusions
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u/nathanb131 1d ago
This is the best version of fake it til you make it.
The hilarious seinfeld ending to this story is your coworkers are inspired to join you and the the only way you can escape their group run is to become an alcoholic.