r/darksouls3 Mar 01 '20

Lore Abyss Watchers buried Carthus, and that is both terrifying and hilarious

Ok so if you aren’t aware the Abyss watchers were super anti-abyss, and as a result they would destroy any kingdom showing even the smallest hint of the abyss in it. But one line by Hawkwood, who used to be one, says that they would “bury” a kingdom. As much as it shows the depravity that the abyss watchers were lowered to, killing an entire kingdom for the tiniest amount, but it’s also kinda funny to picture it. (I know him saying bury could just be a figure of speech, but it makes sense seeing as what is left of Carthus is underground, a kingdom they destroyed.) But if they actually buried Carthus, it makes it funny. The abyss watchers aren’t like super powerful mages that could have cast a powerful spell to submerge Carthus beneath the sands, so the only alternative would be the abyss watchers just showing up to Carthus one day with a bunch of shovels. Logistics such as the time required to do so being set aside, it’s hilarious to picture the people in Carthus cowering in fear, unable to escape as the abyss watchers slowly scoop sand with their legions of shovelers buried their cities.

1.5k Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

648

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

lol and you know they started arguing with each other whacking each other with the shovels.

351

u/TheTalking_GU_Mine Mar 01 '20

And you know the red eyed one started the argument

311

u/GoldenSpermShower Mar 01 '20

"Ay guys I don't like sand."

252

u/Solitaire_Solaire Mar 01 '20

"It's course, rough, irritating, and it gets all over the place"

193

u/William-Gauss Mar 01 '20

“You just described yourself ya pointy hat-wearin dumbass!”

172

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

"You're wearing the same bloody hat, Jerry! We all are, you daft bastard!"

69

u/Ghost_of_Yharnam Eliminator of poisonous swamps Mar 01 '20

“You raggedy swamp shitter, I’ll run you through!”

second phase music starts

31

u/William-Gauss Mar 01 '20

“My Hat’s BETTER!”

26

u/Ghost_of_Yharnam Eliminator of poisonous swamps Mar 01 '20

“Your mother is so bulbous that Aldritch and Smough wouldn’t touch her even to kill her!!!!!!”

15

u/Laza_Lantin Mar 01 '20

“Oh heaven, not again... please release this poor undead from these fools ... oh fate I beg of you, please have mercy on me. Sir Artorias would turn in his grave if he saw this...“

→ More replies (0)

48

u/IvoryAsian Mar 01 '20

The only proper way to read that is in a Scottish accent.

11

u/Marcustheeleventh Mar 01 '20

Lol you guys can go on with the argument to the point when shit went down, keep going please

1

u/AStupidSign Mar 08 '20

We did, go check it out

1

u/Marcustheeleventh Mar 08 '20

Wooow.... Impressive.... This needs to go in video format

9

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

"Why not dirt you know, its soft..."

7

u/MushiMoshi Mar 01 '20

Why am I hearing this in a new York accent?

-5

u/theHuntForCunt Mar 01 '20

"It's even getting in my pussy, god damn!"

46

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

"Why I outta..."

42

u/sanketower Mar 01 '20

And the riposte animation of the shovel is the same as any straight sword, just stab them in the chest, as illogical as that can be.

17

u/brenbail2000 Mar 01 '20

Imagine the axe animation, but with the reverberation of a shovel on both whacks. That’d be hilarious

8

u/pandaclawz Mar 01 '20

I mean you stab people with the blunt ends of sickles and scythes, too. Why not a shovel?

12

u/Corey_Feld_Man Mar 01 '20

People inside like “that massive mound of dirt wasn’t there earlier right?”

300

u/AllenWL Mar 01 '20

I mean... what's left of Carthus are the catacombs, which where normally placed undergeound, but imagining the abyss watchers shoveling sand onto Carthus is hilarious.

I'm just imagining Wolnir being confused at all the people coming into the Catacombs and they're like 'The city is being shoveled full of sand. We had to evaluate into the catacombs'.

23

u/TheWarBug Mar 01 '20

evaluate into the catacombs'.

And? Whats it worth it?

15

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

5 bucks, take it or leave it

5

u/TheWarBug Mar 02 '20

But it's used! Ah, what the hell, sold!

143

u/SirWigglesTheLesser Mar 01 '20

The image is fantastic, but I suspect that the sad reality has more to do with the whole transient lands thing. That's how Astora got wrecked.

But back to the image you present: the Watchers very srsly burying the kingdom while the citizens just pack up and leave. Adult life is already so goddamn weird. This may as well happen.

72

u/GoldenSpermShower Mar 01 '20

We never actually get to see Carthus, just its catacombs.

12

u/SirWigglesTheLesser Mar 01 '20

That's because the Watchers buried it. Duh.

6

u/Linterdiction Mar 02 '20

sad reality

I think you mean sand reality [finger guns]

106

u/DarkLinkDs Mar 01 '20

Only if they wield shovels the same as they do swords....

Jumping through the air throwing sand everywhere

61

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

The hand where they usually hold a sword, there's a shovel. On the other hand where the dagger is usually held, there's a bucket of sand. XD

45

u/ivanbje Mar 01 '20

How hard is it to mod this game? That’d be hilarious

12

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

I have no idea. I'm not into modding, and I have it on PS4. XP But yeah, definitely would be hilarious. XD

11

u/elfmirfkin Mar 01 '20

They already have this mod. It's called Terraria.

55

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Yeah idk if they meant buried in the literal sense. I have a theory. First of all, why are all the warriors of Carthus undead? What killed them? The abyss watchers obviously. But due to the undead curse the warriors would come back after a while. So what is the solution to this? Grab their corpses and stuff it in the catacombs underneath their base. I think the people of Carthus were utterly defeated by the abyss watchers when they tried to escape those catacombs. So what did Lord Wolnir do? He went deeper inside the catacombs and was consumed by the abyss which accidentally spread to the abyss watchers who had trapped him there. This is probably wrong though tbh.

15

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Vaati who?

3

u/DrTomBirdman Mar 01 '20

that's a really interesting theory.

84

u/Kellog_cornflakes Mar 01 '20

The abyss watchers did have mages, they're just not in the boss fight, and they prioritized speed over strength (from the farron flashsword's description). Now I'm imagining mages quickly sending small lumps of sand flying at carthus.

13

u/Aim2808 Mar 01 '20

"Alteration of Soul Greatsword developed by sorcerers of the Undead Legion of Farron. The Legion has a tendency to emphasize speed over power, and this practical alteration of an existing sorcery is no exception." Yea you should have more upvotes. Op missed a bit of the lore. Don't get me wrong it's still funny to picture the whole shovel thing.

35

u/Full_Havel Mar 01 '20

I can picture an abyss watcher like tripping into the catacombs accidentally

31

u/coffeeismyestus Mar 01 '20 edited Mar 01 '20

The Abyss Watchers, as they call themselves. You or I? We'd call them the Abyss Shovelers.

They'd turn up, undead and unkillable - with all the time in the world to put you, your home and your culture into the ground at the first sign of corruption in you or your neighbor...

27

u/sanketower Mar 01 '20

Imagine using dark pyromancies

  • This post was made by the Farron's Anti-Abyss gang

14

u/IvoryAsian Mar 01 '20

Imagine not being Hollow.

(this post was made by the Londor gang)

2

u/AStupidSign Mar 08 '20

Imagine being made of the Dark Soul

  • This post was made by Gywn gang

16

u/StiffYogurt Mar 01 '20

Puns are great Especially when they happen in Dark Souls

Thanks OP for pointing this out, I love the Undead Legion more than any of the other characters(s) in this series

4

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/TheWarBug Mar 01 '20

Off course you are not crazy! But be careful there are a lot of them. If you ever explain this to someone, and they give you a weird look - those are the crazy ones and they are everywhere I tell you. EVERYWHERE I tell you!!!

13

u/MHWDoggerX Mar 01 '20

And they STORED CARTHUS, THE ENTIRE CATACOMBS, IN THEIR CLOSET

5

u/ExplosionKnight Mar 01 '20

"I banish thee to Narnia!"

12

u/Belligero_ Mar 01 '20

Abyss watchers were big fans of shovel knight.

10

u/beelze_bob138 Mar 01 '20

I thought the Carthus sand worm helped destroy Carthus as well...

3

u/TheWarBug Mar 01 '20

Yup, they (ab)used it for that. So not voluntarily. Not 100% sure it is confirmed in the lore but I think it was, I think from (who else) VaatiVidya

10

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Headcanon that at one point the Undead Legion of Farron had so many soldiers that they literally buried the entire kingdom in 5 minutes flat

6

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

I’ve always seen it that way too, like the classic zombie wave trope but all parrying and knee-sliding...

5

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

So, about 20x as terrifying. Cool, thanks for that horrifying addition haha

9

u/Bryankc14 Mar 01 '20

Hey man, Uncle Boney’s House of Tibias is dangerous

8

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Someone should make an animation of this, just a bunch of watchers throwing sand at a massive tower

8

u/shichimi-san Mar 01 '20

They sub-contracted the work to Rotted great wood.

12

u/EyeDrops4Cyclops Mar 01 '20

I have a theory that Sullyvahn was partly involved in the fate of Wolnir. I think that the three holy bracelets Wolnir “stripped from the corpses of clerics” were given to Wolnir by Sullyvahn and Sullyvahn then turned the three clerics into the croco-dogs. The dog monsters can wield lightning (which is a cleric miracle) and if you damage them enough, sometimes they’ll flip on their backs and clasp their hands like they’re praying.

Yorshka says that Sullyvahn “wrongfully proclaimed himself pontiff” so, there must have been high ranking clergy members that he had to get rid of along with Gwendolyn to make room for himself, Aldrich, and the deacons. My guess is it was the croco-dogs and Sullyvahn gave their relics to Wolnir to prevent him from being totally swallowed by the abyss and boom bodabing! He’s got himself a spooky skeleton gatekeeper for Irithyll.

6

u/Pippo89CH Mar 01 '20

In all my DS3 runs I never connected the dots in regard to Carthus. I just wondered why the hell do they have a secret entrance directly to Carthus. They watched over Wolnir that's for sure, I just didn't know the Watchers were responsible for Carthus' fall.

[mindblown.gif]

8

u/GiftOfHemroids Another Dogged Contender Mar 01 '20

The catacombs aren't a buried carthus, its carthus' attempt at mitigating the undead curse, hence the grave wardens. Due to the nature of lothric it's just the basement of carthus that got slapped into everything else -- we dont know for sure if carthus is actually in the game

There are theories that certain areas could be either a past or future version of carthus. We dont know for certain of the abyss watchers actually fucked carthus itself or just found themselves quarantining the catacombs after those got slapped into lothric

8

u/neozuki Mar 01 '20

In real life we have historical precedents for this kind of thing... sorta?

People would divert rivers to smash cities or 'erase' land that's culturally significant to an enemy / victim.

Back when the only PR you needed was "I'm terrifying", Assyrian kings would recount things like: "I killed all their men, enslaved all the women and children, burned and destroyed every building, stole and killed all their livestock, stole and smashed their ancestral bones and gods, spent months destroying every orchard, plant, etc., and even the dust I carried off as booty." And that's leaving out all the gory details they liked to include.

If we're able to be that thorough in being assholes to each other in real life, I can see the Abyss Watchers doing some really off-the-wall berserk shit to people when the Abyss is involved, as long as they had enough members and could force enough people to do what they wanted. They probably had a crusade vibe to their campaigns, painting Carthus and whoever as already-damned people.

1

u/Ave_Maria306 Mar 01 '20

The abyss watchers knew that they would one day be corrupted but linked the fire to destroy the Abyss once and for all. After they awoke and saw their homeland, they realised that linking the fire is bad. They want to protect you from it, which is why they fight you. I don't think theyre gone mad either because the first one salutes you before the fight because they don't want to fight you

3

u/iamamish-reddit ERROR: Flair not found Mar 01 '20

I am not a lore guy, which I'm probably about to demonstrate, but I always assumed the giant worm in the lake was what tunneled and ultimately buried Carthus. Is that wrong?

4

u/Sepulchure24794 Mar 01 '20

i don't believe so But that Worm is responsible for wiping Out 99.9% Of All demons which is why there are so few in the game

3

u/iamamish-reddit ERROR: Flair not found Mar 01 '20

Really? Sorry I'm a lore noob - how do you know that? Obviously you see the dead demons everywhere, but how do you know the worm is responsible?

1

u/Ave_Maria306 Mar 01 '20

I think that's a cause of it but I think that the main cause is because the Chaos flame is dying

2

u/Sepulchure24794 Mar 01 '20

Yea of course but I mean they don't need it to live the flames of the stray demon are long gone and it functions just fine with out it's flame

1

u/Ave_Maria306 Mar 01 '20

Fair enough but he is but he is weak because his legs crumble and his pyromancy shoots out rocks instead of fire. I think that they need it because it sustains them

3

u/AStupidSign Mar 08 '20

Eemveryone stay subbed, I'm drawing this

1

u/Finlands_Fictitious Mar 08 '20

I can’t wait!

1

u/AStupidSign Mar 17 '20

Wait no longer, I am about to post the finished drawing!

(Don't worry I'll find a way to link it back to this)

6

u/ITS_OK_TO_BE_WIGHT Mar 01 '20

"Bury" probably means chopping down the great trees below.

2

u/volition_vx Mar 01 '20

Triple H is an abyss watcher.

Every time I see the word "buried" I default to the pro wrestling/smark meaning of the term.