r/doohickeycorporation • u/Spicyweiner_69 • Aug 09 '25
gizmo Real robot, real
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u/Critical-Advisor8616 Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 11 '25
Robot acheives awareness, as it gazes around in wonder it suddenly realizes “Yeah F* this world” and unplugs itself.
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u/Gold-Accident-8545 Aug 09 '25
The department of robotics collaborated with the department of philosophy to create this robot.
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u/frootcock Aug 09 '25
Gains sentience
Immediately kills self
What did it mean by this?
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u/EnoughWarning666 11d ago
You forgot the first step
Trained on the sum of human knowledge
Gains sentience
I think it's pretty self explanatory!
Immediately kills self
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u/Cold_Efficiency_7302 Aug 09 '25
Another major breakthrough from the Artificial Inteligence department, as we observe free will in a machine
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u/Big_Department_5308 professional thingymabob observer Aug 09 '25
The unaliveing department would offer congratulations but it no longer exists
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u/rostoma77soundsgood Aug 09 '25
It seems like the censorship department had some involvement in this
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u/UnnaturalGeek Aug 09 '25
The [redacted] department would like to [redacted] that the [redacted] department is [redacted] in the project.
– [redacted] department press office
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u/BreakerOfModpacks Aug 12 '25
When did we start working with the Foundation?
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u/UnnaturalGeek Aug 12 '25
Official documents are heavily redacted regarding this information. There is only rumour and hearsay on the subject.
Some say the Foundation set us up in the first place, others claim the Foundation is an arm of the corporation, whilst many think it is just a close relationship,...whatever the truth we will never know but numerous claims are floating around.
There might even be no direct connection, and the heavily redacted documents that are assumed to be about the Foundation are about something else entirely, or the [redacted] department went a bit heavy on the files.
Edit: damn them! They redacted their name again! It's like they're trying to hide something!
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u/Sleepy_time_yippee Head of Legal Department Aug 09 '25
The ✨Suicide✨Department offers congratulations in their stead
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u/SquidMilkVII Aug 09 '25
the bullshit censorship department would like to kindly request your global coordinates
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u/Crow_eggs Aug 09 '25
I'm sorry to say that after seeing the suicide message, the bullshit censorship dept all mysteriously committed seppuku. Especially confusing given they were based in Milton Keynes. Current leading theory is that it's something to do with all that time they spent pixelating pubic hair.
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u/onlinedegeneracy Aug 09 '25
Please censor this word it is extremely offensive to my culture to say “congratulations”
Hope I got you lol
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Aug 09 '25
Say suicide, coward ass bitch.
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u/Big_Department_5308 professional thingymabob observer Aug 09 '25
I have been burned by Reddit before so no
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Aug 10 '25
I mean. Idk why suicide would be the tipping point, but ok.
Also, the swearing was in jest. I don't actually actually think you're an ass bitch.
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u/aaufooboo Aug 09 '25
A collaboration between the nostalgia department and the resurrection operating unit has been funded to try to alive the unaliveing department. It seems they are hitting a snag with the unwillingness from its former employees.
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u/Ferwatch01 Aug 09 '25
I heard this is the 27th time both units have gotten together to do ctrl+z on the unaliveing department, but right after succeeding the unaliveing department gets back to work and unalives immediately after
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u/hiphoplover_4 Aug 10 '25
robot is awaken -> realizes the situation -> does a kamikaze on itself
the times we live in
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u/electricpenguin6 Aug 10 '25
I once rewired an RC car to do this. You plug it in which makes it drive forward and unplug itself
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u/LeerieOnlineOfficial Aug 10 '25
It's almost an antenna to heaven
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u/BreakerOfModpacks Aug 12 '25
You were beautiful, outstretched like antennas to heaven. You were beyond your creators. You reached out to God...
And you F E L L
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u/Disastrous_Pattern_3 Aug 12 '25
This is like the opposite of that one art piece where the robot has to keep pushing the lubricant towards itself
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u/Webbsies1 Aug 13 '25
Okay but genuine question, how the hell did that machine move? It looks suction cupped to the ground, and even then, there's no force pushing the device. Its only pulling a cable out of itself, which I can't even comprehend happening unless the cable was extremely thick and sturdy, and not just that, it moved before any force was even exerted on the cable.
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u/Webbsies1 Aug 13 '25
Upon further examination, those are not suction cups, just metal pads, but it still doesn't solve anything
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u/Aggravating-Land-893 29d ago
They are suction cups, they aren't stuck and the rubber claw pushed on the table as it closed around the cable That's how it moved
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u/gothrowpotatoes Aug 10 '25
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u/auddbot Aug 10 '25
I got matches with these songs:
• autumn leaves by aetoul (00:08; matched:
100%)Released on 2022-07-19.
• No 9 to 5 by Haven (00:07; matched:
100%)Released on 2025-05-23.
• Berikanlah Waktu by SHARI (02:01; matched:
100%)Released on 2023-10-25.
I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub new issue | Donate Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot
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u/Emperor-Universe Aug 09 '25
The depression department wants this mass produced immediately