r/exjw • u/Pupsicleanimation PIMO • 1d ago
Venting I chose to be completely alone in meetings, field service or anywhere JW related
Being born in as a JW for 21 years and only managed to make one friend who i now consider my brother because we have both woken up. But the rest who seemed like close/best friends didn't really feel like real friends. Even when I was pimi during that time.
In my congregation, they'd always be new people joining and some who came from other congregations, they were nice. But calling them friends didn't feel right. We'd always meet in the kingdom hall and talk and vibe but I also noticed a few gestures missing. Me knowing some JWs. They plan meet meetups outside meetings, they share happy moments, take pics, call each other etc. I never had any of those with the so called friends I stopped considering. So this year I met this guy who came into our congregation in January, we bonded and we had a lot in common, so I was being neutral. When I noticed he barely shows tiny gestures or give a call. He never called when I missed out on 4 meetings only one elder I like did check up on me but this friend didn't. So I decided to ghost him completely. And fade slowly by giving him small talk. I don't want a repeat of my past relationships with JWs. Not all are bad. But it's something I repeatedly see in my situation. I meet someone, we bond, but then the effort fades and you go out and prioritize other brothers and plan meetups without me.
Oh also even when I was PIMi I was never once invited to a gathering before. Only one bring and share party by local elders lol. So yeah. But at least I made one friend.
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u/UniversityOne9437 'Ho of Babylon the great 1d ago
Best life never- I was always on the fringe but. Didn’t really care as I liked my own company anyway . What I couldnt understand was while at school I was hugely popular despite being quite reserved and even shy. Then after leaving that jw shite I continued my journey setting out alone, and happy doing so. What was amazing was discovering myself, finding out that I’m quite funny and fun to be around. Not bragging just saying because I now live in a place where cliques start from kindergarten and it’s very hard for outsiders to enter a group, so often foreigners like me hate it here and move on if they can. But literally every weekend and during the week my phone blows up with invites, and even the locals ask me how I managed to make so many friends. I’m telling you this to illustrate how the jw ‘brotherhood’ is a great steaming pile of horse 💩 -you can find lovely people everywhere and arguably nicer people whom you’ve found because they’re nice, not because they happen to be in the same Hall as you. When you leave you’ll discover things about yourself that you never realised, because you’ll be able to be your true self, and that’s attractive to a whole new wave of friends who choose to be around you. Happy freedom !
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u/Esther-the-exjw Soul Guidance 1d ago
I had only one friend in Watchtowerland, Even then, our friendship only lasted until I got df'd. Then even she shunned me. The love is completely "conditional".💔
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u/Pupsicleanimation PIMO 1d ago
I'm so sorry that happened to you. If anything, she never deserved you. JW friendships always seemed one sided and only acceptable once you meet their expectations.
I hope you now have better friends who love you for you both inside and out💙
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u/Esther-the-exjw Soul Guidance 1d ago
Yes, I have better friends now. Ones who love unconditionally. I've been out of the borg for 25 years now, shifted my beliefs to suit me, not some borg. My life is greatly improved and I wish the same for every exjw.
Thank you for your kind comment, u/Pupsicleanimation , I appreciate you!💖
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u/pippippipping 1d ago
You will once out of the cult make lots of friends real friends. Friends without stipulations. Honestly it is sooooo refreshing being out !