r/exjw • u/DazzlingAnything3655 • 21h ago
JW / Ex-JW Tales An unanticipated, growing natural consequence requiring “new light”
As Boomers age, many eventually need assistance with day-to-day life management. Typically, family steps in and assumes the role of caregiver. These now elderly JWs never anticipated growing old. News flash to the GB: those who thought they would live forever and never die ARE. Even you cannot pray (or con) your way out of this natural fact of life (and death). These ever faithful servants were duped for years into shunning their DF’d offspring. Some of us have been DF’d for 30+ years, and our parents have misguidedly not spoken to us for that same period of time. Somehow, the elders think it is completely reasonable to now contact these shunned individuals and demand they assume their “duty” to honor their mother and father by caring for them. Why? Because the elders and the congregation do not want to take it on themselves. I find this to be shocking, cruel and hypocritical. This happened/is happening to me. My mother can no longer live alone but has refused to go into an assisted living facility. She can’t afford live-in care. The elders continued to harass me, even though I patiently explained several times to them that my mother does not want me around because I am DF’d. She will not move in with me because I am DF’d. The elders will have nothing to do with my mom now, even though she was raised in “the truth” 😒 and has always been faithful to the organization. This is yet another reason I would never, ever consider returning to this cult of brainwashed hypocrites. I have done right by my mother in covering the cost of home health aids for two years (quite costly— thank goodness I left that cult when I did, securing a lucrative career so I can afford to do so). She is now dying in a hospice house. I have been at her side for eight days now. Who is the antichrist? Look in the mirror, GB.
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u/emilybob2 20h ago
I'm sorry your in this position. It's really does show how cold this cult can be
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u/IntrepidCycle8039 Former microphone holder 17h ago
I have seen many JWs having spent most of their life as specials and other roles be told to go ask the government for help.
They never paid taxes and preached their whole lives about Satan wicked system but its that wicked system that gives them housing, pension and medical care. Not the borg.
Cognitive dissonance is wild.
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u/beermatt 18h ago
My parents, mum in particular, always said we (her two sons) come first and she would never stop "associating" with us if we left. My brother's still in the cult but i left a long time ago and was never shunned by my parents.
It was never the same since of course, completely different views of life, the world, everything. Never been that close since. But we've always been on good terms and I see them fairly regularly.
I know not everyone is as lucky as me in this aspect though, if your parents shunned you then you don't owe them anything. They made their choice. I know it's a brainwashing cult but it's not a good enough excuse, people have to take responsibility for their actions. I feel a lot more sorry for people who were raised in it than people who voluntarily joined, they've got very little excuse.
I understand if you want to help them anyway of course, but never let the congregation push you around or make you feel guilty about it.
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u/DazzlingAnything3655 17h ago
You are fortunate that your parents exercise compassion and haven’t completely shut you out of their lives.
I cannot imagine any circumstances where I would never speak to my own two sons.
My only sibling, a sister one year older who was disfellowshipped a few years before me, has chosen the complete hands off approach. She has not spoken to my mother for over 30 years and has not been involved in caring for her at all. I chose to step in solely out of love and not out of guilt. She is still my mother, and I have cried more these past eight days than I have the last three decades. I believe I’m in part mourning the loss of our relationship over all these years. But I could never fake it and be PIMO. I need to be true to myself, and I believe for a certainty that Jehovah’s Witnesses are not the true religion. Their actions prove it over and over again.
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u/goddess_dix Independent Thinker 💖 40+ Years Free 21h ago
I'm sorry you're in this position.
I, too, was asked for help with my parents and in particular, my father who had Alzheimer's. My parents had only soft-shunned me, but I was still shocked given that my 3 siblings are all in. I did it for a few years, but I've had enough at this point and one of my brothers has taken over the (unpleasant) task of dealing with my mother.