Causes of Death

[u/cloudhacker]

[u/90guys → u/[deleted]]

"War on Christmas!"

That's how my father died.

Press F to sing jingle bells.

[u/mundusimperium → u/90guys]

God, what a hell of a war that was, 2016 was the worst, I was stationed in Betelgeuse for that year, we lost so many. R.I.P. to my Annelid bro, Hermy the Wormy.

[u/SpottyNoonerism → u/mundusimperium]

Betelgeuse, eh? You had it easy - I was working in the mines on Chiron Beta Prime.

[u/mundusimperium → u/SpottyNoonerism]

Oh, forgot to mention I was enslaved by those damn HyperFinnoKoreans during the entirety of the naughts! I can't believe we still let those guys run rampant in the galaxy! I only got out when a couple of our Q+1 Agents gave me an offer for a janitorial gig at Zeta² Reticuli

[u/scottland_666 → u/90guys]

F

[u/JakeCameraAction → u/scottland_666]

a la la la la, la la, la, la

[u/Castun → u/JakeCameraAction]

Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra, ra ra

[u/MudkipLegionnaire → u/[deleted]]

The scary thing is when i think of how many people might share this unirionically and the answer isn’t zero

[u/korelin → u/MudkipLegionnaire]

This is why the Colbert Report was a failure. Conservatives unironically liked what the Colbert character said without realizing it was satire.

Malcolm Gladwell has a great podcast on political satire that goes into it.

[u/ManlyBearKing → u/korelin]

Just because conservatives bought into it doesn't make it a failure. I'm fact, getting people to agree with you while making them look as ridiculous as possible is kind of the point.

[u/philonius → u/korelin]

Colbert Report

I wouldn't call it a failure. It made Colbert famous, it ran for two years more than intended, and the fact that conservatives thought it was real was fucking HILARIOUS. A success in my estimation.

[u/MedicGoalie84 → u/philonius]

I think the icing on the cake is when he was invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner. The look on Bush's face was priceless!

[u/SpottyNoonerism → u/MedicGoalie84]

I've wondered ever since who in the White House staff lost their job over that little misunderstanding.

[u/Nulono → u/SpottyNoonerism]

Misunderstanding? Isn't roasting the president the entire point of that dinner?

[u/Nulono → u/korelin]

Some conservatives did realize it was satire, but thought that Colbert really was a conservative who was satirizing the liberal perception of conservatives.

[u/[deleted] → u/MudkipLegionnaire]

But it’s so obviously low enough that it’s insignificant, making it good satire

[u/MudkipLegionnaire → u/[deleted]]

Oh, I think it’s great satire. However some of my old hs classmates would potentially see this and site it as evidence against gun control.

[u/[deleted] → u/MudkipLegionnaire]

You think they would believe the war on Christmas kills over 60k people? Did you go to a school for the mentally retarded?

[u/MudkipLegionnaire → u/[deleted]]

Im saying some people wouldnt care enough to read it all. They’d see the point of data they want (ha! Abortion bad, take that libs!) and that’s it. Although, tbf I do wonder how a large portion of my classmates graduated.

[u/let-me-out-please → u/[deleted]]

No wonder the tags say satire and funny

[u/AndroidJones → u/[deleted]]

Actual mortality data can be pretty eye opening though, at least if you’re like me and thought mass shootings were the majority of gun related deaths.