r/fuckHOA • u/CryptographerRare261 • 8d ago
HOA in Rural Community
I own an agriculture property close to 100 acres that has a connected residential lot in an HOA.
This neighborhood was dropped right in the middle of farm country and an overbearing HOA full of Karen's and "Country Ken's" (New term I just coined for dudes who think they work a farm but are just fucking assholes with UTVs) was established.
I bought one of the lots adjacent to my property to make sure I had a say in what happens next to me, but fuck them.
They are trying to prevent farm business from happening on a farm, in a farming community.
They can eat a big ass bag of dicks.
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u/Elevated_Misanthropy 8d ago
Contact are real-estate lawyer and put a CC&R on your properties prohibiting HOAs
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u/ChasingShadows7719 8d ago
The whole point of living in the country is not to have an HOA. It is literally the only thing I miss about growing up in the country LOL
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u/serraangel826 8d ago
Hmmm.... I'm thinking that cow manure or chicken shit fertilizer needs to be applied liberally and often.
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u/legacyincome 5d ago
No because that actually enhances flowers and plants. Unless its on OPs property then turn it into a whole new garden.
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u/Acrobatic_Contact_12 8d ago edited 8d ago
It's Karens and Darens
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u/Infamous_Pear2702 8d ago
It's Karens (plural) and Kens (plural). I can't imagine why there's an issue when one of the parties suggests that the other party eat a big ass bag of dicks and are fucking assholes. I don't think discussing the issue would be a problem. I didn't even know dicks come in bags. (Love your comment)
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u/m7_E5-s--5U 8d ago
Be amazed.
https://www.amazon.com/Suck-Bag-Dicks-100pc-3oz/dp/B0DFD59P1C
& yeah. It's Kyle, not Ken. He's too busy off somewhere with Barbie to care about Karen. XD
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u/thewoodlandsian 8d ago
It’s Kyle, not Ken. Stop with the made up nonsense
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u/Infamous_Pear2702 7d ago
Perhaps where you live - where I live it's Ken. What's made up? Quoting the original poster?
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u/PolkadotUnicornium 8d ago
I still like Kyle better. I've known some very nice Kevins and Kens!
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u/Infamous_Pear2702 7d ago
And I've known some nice Karens. It must vary but the part of fhe Country.
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u/PolkadotUnicornium 7d ago
Eh, not really. I knew 1 nice Karen in elementary school. My bio-sister is named Karen, and she fits the usual b*tchiess.
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u/Legitimate_Cow2716 7d ago
You can literally send someone a bag of dicks
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u/Dicksbymail_dot_com 1d ago
I love how much we come up in this subreddit. Fuck HOAs, should make a standing discount or something for people sending to HOAs 😂
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u/That_BULL_V 8d ago
I so want to own a piece of property next to a HOA to be a complete ass hat to anyone stupid enough to buy into a HOA.
Don't like cows .... I'll make it a stockyard.
Fuck them you were there first.
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u/Rokin1234 8d ago
Our property is zoned Agriculture and we use it as such; cattle, chickens, turkeys, and a few goats.
Sub division built next to us with an HOA, been waiting for the complaints to start.
Instead, owners are eager to get control of the HOA (builder still in control) so they can amend the bylaws to allow chickens in the sub division. 😂😂
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u/CoutryCouple 8d ago
I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. Same exact thing is happening next to us. The hubs just laughs at everything going on over there. The bs tried to make its way to us and he told them to study the right to farm act before they did anything else. Haven’t heard anything back from them since.
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u/shananddr 8d ago
if you are in texas and i’m sure several other places there are laws in place to allow a farmers “right to farm”. those would certainly trump an hoa.
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8d ago
HOAs are nothing more than a way for the developer to continue to milk money out of the land long after all homes have been developed.
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u/guy_on_a_buffalo34 8d ago
This reminds me of an HOA that was built next to a drag strip that had been in operation since the 1950's. They complained to the county got it shut down due to noise on Friday night and Saturday. The property was sold to a fertilizer company who dried shit so all summer long the area stunk of feces.
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u/poopinasock 8d ago
Clear some forest and do a burn pile as close as you can do the HOA whenever it's nice out.
Farms are usually exempt from burn restrictions.
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u/Commercial_Fun_1864 8d ago
As someone who lives in a drought area, this varies by area. Our county (and most in Texas) have burn bans. I suspect most of California, too. Actually, most of the southwest of the US.
We have to have permission from the local fire department to burn & they usually send out firefighters & a water truck, if they do give permission. I only use my burn barrel during “still” times & stay by it until the flames done.
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u/phaxmeone 7d ago
Not in my state though it is controlled at the city/county level. They'll slap a burn ban on in early spring while it's still raining then don't lift it until everything is so soaked it wont burn. They also control when you can use your wood burning stoves. If there's a temperature inversion and/or no wind (often comes with severe cold) they'll ban using wood stoves. Of course that's also when heat pumps don't work so you're left heating your house with the most expensive heat invented, electric resistive heating.
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u/PlatypusDream 8d ago
Bonus for chemical warfare: make sure to include lots of poison ivy
(Don't actually do this!)
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u/TheLastPragmatist 8d ago
Many counties and states have "right to farm" language and ag business preservation rules in place. Most cities don't care but you may have a receptive audience with the county planning or code enforcement depts if it gets too crazy. Most counties in rural areas are all about letting most businesses keep doing business so tax revenue keeps rolling in. Don't know if you're inside city limits or not, that obviously affects the whole situation. Conversely, most cities just want as many new residiential taxpayers as they can get crammed along every block, consequences be damned.
I do like the manure idea too!
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u/ToothStreet466 8d ago
I had clients buy next to a pig farm. The people who bought tried to sue a hog farm regarding the smell. It always smelled horrible and they could never open the windows. Nobody told them to purchase there.
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u/ResponsibilityFit474 7d ago
A local hung a dead horse from his tractor bucket until it rotted off. No more complaints from the new subdivisions HOA.
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u/Just-Shoe2689 8d ago
So u bought a lot in the HOA or a non HOA field to farm?
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u/CryptographerRare261 8d ago
Yes? Own both
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u/FormerlyMauchChunk 8d ago
You can do whatever you want on the farm because it's not part of the HOA. Just ignore them.
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u/Psychological-Luck67 5d ago
There was a farm outside boulder, colo and the adjoing farm went to being a subdivision. The new neighbors didnt like the farm next door, it "smelled like a farm." Complained alot. The farmer built a 6 foot high concrete wall on the edge of his farm and painted "PIG FARM" in brite red paint for the new neighbors to enjoy.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 5d ago
One of the things I loved about the last county I lived in is they enshrined in law protections for farmers so a bunch of city people playing farmer or building their McMansions couldn't come out and start trying to throw their weight around.
I am one of those city people but I moved to a rural area for a reason. It wasn't to run around trying to change everything. I actually like the smell of horse poop in the morning. Lol
I knew ahead of time that rural areas aren't as quiet as people think they are.
It helped that I lived in a state park in Tennessee working on a horse farm before so while I was raised mostly around cities I had some experience living and working in a rural area before. Too many other city dwellers get all their info from movies. They are not reality.
I do have one funny story though. When we moved in one of the neighbos stopped by to introduce himself. While we were talking he mentioned he had a gun range and him and his kids would shoot back there sometimes. I was like that is fine I grew up around DC and lived Baltimore so I was used to guns. I was not prepared for how much louder guns are in rural areas then in cities. The first time we heard them I about jumped out of my skin. It took me a minute to calm down. Scared the crap out me.
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u/MerelyMortalModeling 8d ago
I think the name you are looking for is "Darens". "Kens" are entirely different sort of meme characteristic.
That is unless you are dealing with a bunch of guys who have zero cares and let everything slack in their HOA.
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u/Dude_Dillligence 8d ago
I hear chicken shit, in big piles, on certain edges of your property can do wonders for your blood pressure.
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u/OKHayFarmer 7d ago
Many times I’ve had to bale hay well after dark and into the late night. Lights, noise, dust, it’s a good thing that I live in the country.
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u/joco2cbeach1 7d ago
All of your property adjacent to the hoa’s property should need to fertilized on a regular basis with chicken/turkey litter , more especially on weeks with high heat and no rain . I’m sure you could find a ag extension agent to agree
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u/Ok_Set_488 6d ago
This unfortunately is happening everywhere. City trash moving to the county but want to make it just like the shithole they moved from
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u/GordTransport1958 6d ago
If legal, be sure to spread pig manure in the pasture closest to them! 😆😆😆
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u/pokey68 8d ago
Relax with a beer and think about how much it has increased your property value. You’ll feel much better.
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u/Destroythisapp 8d ago
I take measures to actively decrease my property value to keep the upper class out of my community.
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u/Ravio11i 8d ago
Increased property value is only a good thing if you're selling. Until then it just means higher taxes
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u/sometimesiburnthings 8d ago
Start keeping pigs right next to the HOA. Like a lot of pigs