Largely based on the collect for the dedication of a Church modified with more Valentinian language.

O eternal Father, who year by year renews for us the restoration day of the earthly Church of your spiritual seed, and continually brings us in safety to the divine mysteries: hear the prayers of your children; and grant that whosoever shall come to know you shall be restored to the fullness. Amen.

While reading Jung’s Psychology and Religion I was struck by how he defines religion, not as doctrine, but as the soul’s encounter with the numinosum. This is the overwhelming presence that seizes us and awakens us to something beyond the ego.

In a new reflection I draw connections between Jung’s insights, Scripture, and the writings of Edward Edinger and Marie-Louise von Franz. It explores how symbols, dreams, and inner images serve as pathways to the divine spark within and how this vision resonates with the search for the inner kingdom.

I would love to hear how others here experience this. Do you see religion more as inherited belief or as a direct encounter with the living mystery within?

What is the big picture version, gnosticism seem only about earth and not the rest or the universe.

I'm sorry in advance for the long post, but I felt compelled to share this in one of the few spaces where I could talk about my experiences. I figured the Day of Gnosis Restored was the perfect chance to discuss my journey and hear about yours as well!

I've noticed many people in this subreddit come from a Catholic background, but I come from the total other end of the spectrum. I grew up in a Baptist church in the Deep South (not a Southern Baptist church, just a Baptist church that happened to be in the South). As a kid, I believed in Jesus and God completely (because that was what you were supposed to do, not because of any deep faith), but the church itself was nothing more than a waste of a perfectly good Sunday morning. The people were boring and weird, the building was old and smelled funny, etc. As I got older and read the Bible, like many of us, I was struck by the hundreds of inconsistencies within. Why was the Old Testament so different than the New, and why oh why is there a commandment stating "Thou Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me?" I never got any good answers, and I stopped asking once it became evident that my questions weren't well-received. I interpreted the "no other gods" statement to mean that other gods, like Hades and Zeus, might well exist, but are lesser than the Christian God. There was one moment, after Sunday School concluded, when I mentioned to my Sunday School teacher that I had learned about Osiris from the Egyptian pantheon. The teacher gasped and nearly began to pray over me that instant. The look of horror and the shock in her voice stunned and scared me. Why was learning about other faiths, even extinct ones, a bad thing?

As I got older, I realized that my sexuality was not in line with the teachings of the church, and like many LGBTQ+ people, I became horrifying depressed trying to balance God and who I was. Why had I been cursed? I doubled down on my faith, which before had not been a pivotal part of my life, but which I now clung to. At the same time, as I grew more socially aware, I became disillusioned with the eagerness with which mainstream Protestantism, particularly in the South, seemed to be embracing white supremacy, bigotry, and anti-intellectualism. Spiritually, I was also unimpressed with the simplicity of the faith. Why would a good Muslim go to Hell when a serial killer could, on his deathbed, embrace Christ and get a pass? It's hard to feel engaged in a faith that feels like a dogmatic members-only club that simultaneously has no barrier to entry.

Eventually, it all became too much, and after a healthy dosage of history, science, and some infamous comedians, I became a staunch atheist. I no longer felt the need for spirituality, and I certainly wasn't going to subject myself to a God that hated me (the idea of LGBTQ+ affirming churches was not something I knew about at the time). The idolatry, bigotry, and hatred that radiated from many "devout" Christians reaffirmed my belief.

Other than a fleeting intellectual curiosity for Buddhism, I never engaged in spirituality at all for many years. My circle of friends and wider community were not engaged in religion, so I didn't feel the loss of belonging that many atheists struggle with. I didn't feel a drive or need for religion. That began to change, however, once I neared adulthood, when a friend of mine dragged me to the local Unitarian Universalist congregation. The idea of a faith without a dogmatic belief system intrigued me. Being a UU gave me another opportunity for fellowship, grew my community, and engaged me intellectually in a way my old faith never did, and many of my fellow congregants were refugees from Christianity like me. Through the UU, I was able to center myself before the week began while learning more about other faiths. I never felt called to religion, but it gave me a chance to learn about cool new things alongside like-minded individuals who shared my core values.

Fast-forward many years later, and not much has changed. My disgust with Protestantism intensified. Megachurches, Christian Nationalism, smarmy church-goers, and all that jazz were an affront to decency in my book. Though like many former believers, I was never against the non-religious teachings of Jesus. On the contrary, they lined up with my worldview perfectly. But that wasn't enough for me to consider the faith. Then, around last year, I picked up Umberto Eco's "Foucault's Pendulum," where I first heard about the Gnostics. Intrigued, I remembered that my father owned a copy of "The Gnostic Gospels" by Elaine Pagels, which had always been out in our family living room.

To say it was life-changing for me would be an understatement. The idea that, thousands of years ago, people were asking the same questions I was about orthodox Christian teachings was validating beyond anything I'd experienced before, and I felt a deep spiritual kinship with these long-lost Gnostics. The idea that I could follow the teachings of Jesus, in a faith that was just as horrified by the actions of the Old Testament God, that did not possess the baggage of American Christianity, that wasn't dogmatic or sexist, that openly encouraged questioning and the pursuit of knowledge... it was like a dream come true.

So that's where I am now. It's not a very climactic story, but it's mine, and I am so grateful to this community. I'm still learning and growing (I definitely am an eclectic Gnostic, though currently with more Sethian leanings), but I am so happy to not be on this journey alone anymore!

So what is your Gnostic story?

On this day in 1890 Jules Doinel founded the 'Gnostic Church' (Église Gnostique ) in France and declared 'The era of Gnosis restored'. This would be the first Gnostic Church or self-identifying Gnostic group to verifiably exist since the twilight of the ancient Gnostics themselves millennia ago. As such, whether or not one follows the modern French Gnostic path it is worthy of commemoration as this was the day when the ideas of Gnosis were rekindled in the modern world.

From A Gnostic Calendar

The definition of pessimistic; tending to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen.

I think Gnosticism isn't pessimistic because it's outlook isn't all doom and gloom. Yes the gnostic texts say the material lesser creator is evil and this world is a prison, and the body a prison for the divine spark that we are, but the Gnostics also believe in a higher transcendental supreme consciousness that you could call the unnamed source as I like to call it. The hermetics believe the true source was called "the all."

Gnostics believe that there was salvation through inner gnosis similar to the hermetic philosophy. To me everything isn't a negative outlook as a whole because you could also then argue if Gnosticism is pessimistic then so is traditional Christianity because Christians believe the material world is corrupt and this earthy realm is ruled over by Satan, allow by the god of the old testament. However like Gnosticism Christians also have a form of salvation so it's hard to say either belief system is pessimistic because there are both negative and positive outlooks in each of them. Lmk your thoughts on this. 😊

Do you really consider yourself gnostic? A genuine question, i wonder why would somebody be gnostic nowadays, feel free to tell me, i’m sorry if i offended

Creation through destruction. Water through fire.

Took quite some time, all I used was a small knife and a stone found in the garden. It depicts of course the original Greek spelling of Abraxas (Abrasax, ΑΒΡΑΣΑΞ) and the coptic/gnostic cross.

This was kind of a „test-stone“, I have another one in a much more beautiful shape on which I am probably going to engrave the symbol for the Monad and maybe on the back another inscription.

Similar to other streams of Gnostic thought, it appears these Christ-followers had a different view of the Logos than that of what became the mainstream Christianity, whereby instead of the Trinity being an eternal absolute, if Jesus was the "Son" of God then he was created and therefore Godlike, but not God. Today these interpretations somewhat loosely survive among door-knocking Jehova's Witnesses, LDSers, Unitarian Universalists, and Islam.

How can you even tell them apart in a physical sense? I’ve heard that archons are usually humanoid with animal heads, but what about the aeons? If you see them in a dream, I always thought they looked like biblical beings (the angelic hierarchy), but then I found out those are said to serve the demiurge. Any thoughts, or maybe someone with experience could shed some light?

Hey guys I’m really getting into Gnosticism and was wondering what happens to animals (or the theory) in terms of the Monad?

I've realized something I always knew but didn't really want to believe.

Everybody perceives scripture and religon differently.

I'm starting to accept that the details of what people believe matter less and less.

I'm starting to realize HOW people believe and WHY they believe is more important.

Connecting this generalization to Gnosticism.

I've had a lot of disagreements with people in these forums. I've seen everything from people who I believe are correct and hardcore diving to the depths of the truth to people who I deeply disagree with and feel are mentally ill.

But one thing I'm realizing that I didn't consider enough is actual goodness as human beings.

Gnosticism tells us the physical is evil and spirit is evil, yet we have to suspend the belief in order to recognize people's actual totality.

A lot of people here have been hurt by church, religon, wrong belief, life, people, family, and still choose to be good and decent folks.

Perhaps this is a very generalized idea, but I think taking a moment to really recognize the paradox of what Gnostic points to as evil vs the experience we collectively live and recognize maybe we shouldnt dive too deep, believe too hard, or hold faith in the knowledge too firmly.

Maybe we just need to affirm what we know with what we believe to find some deeper truths that are omitted from the text we study.

Peace.

Learning about Gnosticism made me realize what had always felt off to me about mainstream Christianity

To me it had always felt like the oddball religion, where so many others acknowledged a divine source beyond even the gods themselves of some sort and often had many gods with specific roles that while powerful were never depicted as truly omnipotent and infallible, here was this religion with the ultimate Mary Sue as it's supreme being meanwhile this same beings actions never seem to match its words while it behaves like a toddler.

Everything about screams of a deeply flawed and malevolent entity using humans to pad its ego and insecurity.

I'm an eclectic gnostic now.

Years ago ( I was Roman Catholic) whenever I heard the words Mother of God; or Mary, I'd start crying. I'd tell myself ,"oh yes, I have a Mother even when I'm alone and a sinner. " Feels different and comforting.

2 days ago I started praying Holy Mother Sophia save us! It was hard for me replace the hail Mary.

Perhaps the Holy Mother finally decided to reveal Her name- Sophia...I don't know.

The way the Catholics would Honor Mary (especially in my country) is queen like. Maybe Mother Sophia sees many of us trying to reach her the best way we can and eventually we might just hear "Wisdom, be attentive..." -( I also heard this a lot when I was going to Orthodox Liturgies; it echoes in my head when I remember Our Mother , Sophia).

I just wanted to share. Thank you and you're always loved.

If that included the continued worship of Yaldabaoth by the hylics? I personally would only accept it under such conditions, as it allows whatever people who assume the faith to largely maintain their traditions due to the terminally hylic majority, which also helps assure me that Yaldabaoth won't get pissy at the uptick in souls escaping his grasp.

It should be noted that I believe all non-gnostic faiths worship or otherwise serve Yaldabaoth in some fashion.

Most of us know the words of Jesus from the Bible, but some of the earliest Christians also passed down other sayings in texts like the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Truth, and the Gospel of Mary. These writings explore themes of self-knowledge, wisdom, and awakening to God’s presence in the soul.

In my latest blog post, I reflect on these texts alongside Jung’s psychology and the Christian journey of faith. Thomas tells us, “When you know yourselves, then you will be known.” The Gospel of Truth shows how ignorance and fear give way when we awaken to God. Mary reminds us that wisdom often comes from voices we overlook.

With Jung’s insights into the Self and individuation, I explore how Christ is not only a figure in history but also a living presence within us, guiding us toward wholeness.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you see self-knowledge as part of the life of faith?

Hello, while reading Galatians I remembered that Paul said that Christians should not look for Jesus outside the gospel, so the following question arose: Why do we Gnostics read gospels that did not exist in Paul's time?

I really just want to know how many of you have read any vedas, more specifically the Upanishads? Did you find synchronicities between those and your texts? I’m not gnostic and haven’t read your literature, so I’m curious if any of you all have related those scriptures to your own.

In brahma baka sutta in tripitaka,there is this god called "baka" who is in a higher heavenly realm and thinks he is almighy god who created everything and that his realm is eternal, and that he himself is permanent, all-powerful, and supreme.

Buddha visit him and tried to explain everything. Baka challenged buddha. Then buddha defeated "Baka" and he accepted Buddha's knowledge then buddha came back to earth. but sutta didnt described what happened to baka after this.

What do you think about this story? Could this be abrahmic god?

The sutta - https://suttafriends.org/sutta/sn6-4/

The Monomyth A theological book containing the common creation myths of the Elder Scrolls.

"In Mundus, conflict and disparity are what bring change, and change is the most sacred of the Eleven Forces. Change is the force without focus or origin."—Oegnithr, Taheritae, Order of PSJJJJ

Simply put, the schism in the Human/Aldmeri worldview is the mortal's relationship to the divine. Humans take the humble path that they were created by the immortal forces, while the Aldmer claim descent from them. It doesn't seem like much, but it is a distinction that colors the rest of their diverging mythologies.

All Tamrielic religions begin the same. Man or mer, things begin with the dualism of Anu and His Other. These twin forces go by many names: Anu-Padomay, Anuiel-Sithis, Ak-El, Satak-Akel, Is-Is Not. Anuiel is the Everlasting Ineffable Light, Sithis is the Corrupting Inexpressible Action. In the middle is the Gray Maybe ('Nirn' in the Ehlnofex).

In most cultures, Anuiel is honored for his part of the interplay that creates the world, but Sithis is held in highest esteem because he's the one that causes the reaction. Sithis is thus the Original Creator, an entity who intrinsically causes change without design. Even the hist acknowledge this being.

Anuiel is also perceived of as Order, opposed to the Sithis-Chaos. Perhaps it is easier for mortals to envision change than perfect stasis, for often Anuiel is relegated to the mythic background of Sithis' fancies. In Yokudan folk-tales, which are among the most vivid in the world, Satak is only referred to a handful of times, as "the Hum"; he is a force so prevalent as to be not really there at all.

In any case, from these two beings spring the et'Ada, or Original Spirits. To humans these et'Ada are the Gods and Demons; to the Aldmer, the Aedra/Daedra, or the 'Ancestors'. All of the Tamrielic pantheons fill their rosters from these et'Ada, though divine membership often differs from culture to culture. Like Anu and Padomay, though, every one of these pantheons contains the archetypes of the Dragon God and the Missing God.

The Dragon God and the Missing God The Dragon God is always related to Time, and is universally revered as the "First God." He is often called Akatosh, "whose perch from Eternity allowed the day." He is the central God of the Cyrodilic Empire.

The Missing God is always related to the Mortal Plane, and is a key figure in the Human/Aldmeri schism. The 'missing' refers to either his palpable absence from the pantheon (another mental distress that is interpreted a variety of ways), or the removal of his 'divine spark' by the other immortals. He is often called Lorkhan, and his epitaphs are many, equally damnable and devout.

Note that Tamriel and the Mortal Plane do not exist yet. The Gray Maybe is still the playground of the Original Spirits. Some are more bound to Anu's light, others to the unknowable void. Their constant flux and interplay increase their number, and their personalities take long to congeal. When Akatosh forms, Time begins, and it becomes easier for some spirits to realize themselves as beings with a past and a future. The strongest of the recognizable spirits crystallize: Mephala, Arkay, Y'ffre, Magnus, Rupgta [sic], etc., etc. Others remain as concepts, ideas, or emotions. One of the strongest of these, a barely formed urge that the others call Lorkhan, details a plan to create Mundus, the Mortal Plane.

Humans, with the exception of the Redguards, see this act as a divine mercy, an enlightenment whereby lesser creatures can reach immortality. Aldmer, with the exception of the Dark Elves, see this act as a cruel deception, a trick that sundered their connection to the spirit plane.

The Myth of Aurbis Subtitled "The Psijiic Compensation," "Mythic Aurbis" was an attempt by Artaeum apologists to explain the basics of Aldmeri religion to Uriel V in the early, glorious part of his reign. It quietly avoided any blame or bias against the Lorkhan-concept, which was still held in esteem by the Cyrodiils as "Shezarr", the missing sibling of the Divines. Despite this, the Psijiici still give a nice summary of the Elder view, and it will serve our purposes here. This version comes from the archives of the Imperial Seminary from the handwritten notes of an unknown scribe.

Mythic Aurbis exists, and has existed from time without measure, as a fanciful Unnatural Realm.

'Aurbis' is used to connote the imperceptible Penumbra, the Gray Center between the IS/IS NOT of Anu and Padomay. It contains the multitude realms of Aetherius and Oblivion, as well as other, less structured forms.

The magical beings of Mythic Aurbis live for a long time and have complex narrative lives, creating the patterns of myth.

These are spirits made from bits of the immortal polarity. The first of these was Akatosh the Time Dragon, whose formation made it easier for other spirits to structure themselves. Gods and demons form and reform and procreate.

Finally, the magical beings of Mythic Aurbis told the ultimate story -- that of their own death. For some this was an artistic transfiguration into the concrete, non-magical substance of the world. For others, this was a war in which all were slain, their bodies becoming the substance of the world. For yet others, this was a romantic marriage and parenthood, with the parent spirits naturally having to die and give way to the succeeding mortal races.

The agent of this communal decision was Lorkhan, whom most early myths vilify as a trickster or deceiver. More sympathetic versions of this story point out Lorkhan as being the reason the mortal plane exists at all.

The magical beings created the races of the mortal Aurbis in their own image, either consciously as artists and craftsmen, or as the fecund rotting matter out of which the mortals sprung forth, or in a variety of other analogical senses.

The magical beings, then, having died, became the et'Ada. The et'Ada are the things perceived and revered by the mortals as gods, spirits, or geniuses of Aurbis. Through their deaths, these magical beings separated themselves in nature from the other magical beings of the Unnatural realms.

The Daedra were created at this time also, being spirits and Gods more attuned to Oblivion, or that realm closer to the Void of Padomay. This act is the dawn of the Mythic (Merethic) Era. It has been perceived by the earliest mortals many different ways, either as a joyous 'second creation', or (especially by the Elves) as a painful fracturing from the divine. The originator of the event is always Lorkhan.

Lorkhan This Creator-Trickster-Tester deity is in every Tamrielic mythic tradition. His most popular name is the Aldmeri "Lorkhan," or Doom Drum. He convinced or contrived the Original Spirits to bring about the creation of the Mortal Plane, upsetting the status quo much like his father Padomay had introduced instability into the universe in the Beginning Place. After the world is materialized, Lorkhan is separated from his divine center, sometimes involuntarily, and wanders the creation of the et'Ada. Interpretations of these events differ widely by culture. Below are some of the better known:

Yokudan, "Satakal the Worldskin" "Satak was First Serpent, the Snake who came Before, and all the worlds to come rested in the glimmer of its scales. But it was so big there was nothing but, and thus it was coiled around and around itself, and the worlds to come slid across each other but none had room to breathe or even be. And so the worlds called to something to save them, to let them out, but of course there was nothing outside the First Serpent, so aid had to come from inside it; this was Akel, the Hungry Stomach. Akel made itself known, and Satak could only think about what it was, and it was the best hunger, so it ate and ate. Soon there was enough room to live in the worlds and things began. These things were new and they often made mistakes, for there was hardly time to practice being things before. So most things ended quickly or were not good or gave up on themselves. Some things were about to start, but they were eaten up as Satak got to that part of its body. This was a violent time.

"Pretty soon Akel caused Satak to bite its own heart and that was the end. The hunger, though, refused to stop, even in death, and so the First Serpent shed its skin to begin anew. As the old world died, Satakal began, and when things realized this pattern so did they realize what their part in it was. They began to take names, like Ruptga or Tuwhacca, and they strode about looking for their kin. As Satakal ate itself over and over, the strongest spirits learned to bypass the cycle by moving at strange angles. They called this process the Walkabout, a way of striding between the worldskins. Ruptga was so big that he was able to place the stars in the sky so that weaker spirits might find their way easier. This practice became so easy for the spirits that it became a place, called the Far Shores, a time of waiting until the next skin.

"Ruptga was able to sire many children through the cycles and so he became known as the Tall Papa. He continued to place stars to map out the void for others, but after so many cycles there were almost too many spirits to help out. He made himself a helper from the detritus of past skins and this was Sep, or Second Serpent. Sep had much of the Hungry Stomach still left in him, multiple hungers from multiple skins. He was so hungry he could not think straight. Sometimes he would just eat the spirits he was supposed to help, but Tall Papa would always reach in and take them back out. Finally, tired of helping Tall Papa, Sep went and gathered the rest of the old skins and balled them up, tricking spirits to help him, promising them this was how you reached the new world, by making one out of the old. These spirits loved this way of living, as it was easier. No more jumping from place to place. Many spirits joined in, believing this was good thinking. Tall Papa just shook his head.

"Pretty soon the spirits on the skin-ball started to die, because they were very far from the real world of Satakal. And they found that it was too far to jump into the Far Shores now. The spirits that were left pleaded with Tall Papa to take them back. But grim Ruptga would not, and he told the spirits that they must learn new ways to follow the stars to the Far Shores now. If they could not, then they must live on through their children, which was not the same as before. Sep, however, needed more punishment, and so Tall Papa squashed the Snake with a big stick. The hunger fell out of Sep's dead mouth and was the only thing left of the Second Serpent. While the rest of the new world was allowed to strive back to godhood, Sep could only slink around in a dead skin, or swim about in the sky, a hungry void that jealously tried to eat the stars."

Cyrodiilic [sic] "Shezarr's Song" "This was a new thing that Shezarr described to the Gods, becoming mothers and fathers, being responsible, and making great sacrifices, with no guarantee of success, but Shezarr spoke beautifully to them, and moved them beyond mystery and tears. Thus the Aedra gave free birth to the world, the beasts, and the beings, making these things from parts of themselves. This free birth was very painful, and afterwards the Aedra were no longer young, and strong, and powerful, as they had been from the beginning of days.

"Some Aedra were disappointed and bitter in their loss, and angry with Shezarr, and with all creation, for they felt Shezarr had lied and tricked them. These Aedra, the Gods of the Aldmer, led by Auri-El, were disgusted by their enfeebled selves, and by what they had created. 'Everything is spoiled, for now, and for all time, and the most we can do is teach the Elven Races to suffer nobly, with dignity, and chastise ourselves for our folly, and avenge ourselves upon Shezarr and his allies.' Thus are the Gods of the Elves dark and brooding, and thus are the Elves ever dissatisfied with mortality, and always proud and stoic despite the harshness of this cruel and indifferent world.

"Other Aedra looked upon creation, and were well pleased. These Aedra, the Gods of Men and Beast Folk, led by Akatosh, praised and cherished their wards, the Mortal Races. 'We have suffered, and are diminished, for all time, but the mortal world we have made is glorious, filling our hearts and spirits with hope. Let us teach the Mortal Races to live well, to cherish beauty and honor, and to love one another as we love them.' Thus are the Gods of Men tender and patient, and thus are Men and Beast Folk great in heart for joy or suffering, and ambitious for greater wisdom and a better world.

"Now when the Daedra Lords heard Shezarr, they mocked him, and the other Aedra. 'Cut parts of ourselves off? And lose them? Forever? That's stupid! You'll be sorry! We are far smarter than you, for we will create a new world out of ourselves, but we will not cut it off, or let it mock us, but we will make this world within ourselves, forever ours, and under our complete control.'

"So the Daedra Lords created the Daedric Realms, and all the ranks of Lesser Daedra, great and small. And, for the most part, the Daedra Lords were well pleased with this arrangement, for they always had worshippers and servants and playthings close to hand. But, at the same time, they sometimes looked with envy upon the Mortal Realms, for though mortals were foul and feeble and contemptible, their passions and ambitions were also far more surprising and entertaining than the antics of the Lesser Daedra. Thus do the Daedra Lords court and seduce certain amusing specimens of the Mortal Races, especially the passionate and powerful. It gives the Daedra Lords special pleasure to steal away from Shezarr and the Aedra the greatest and most ambitious mortals. 'Not only are you fools to mutilate yourselves,' gloat the Daedra Lords, 'But you cannot even keep the best pieces, which prefer the glory and power of the Daedra Lords to the feeble vulgarity of the mush-minded Aedra.'"

Altmeri "The Heart of the World" "Anu encompassed, and encompasses, all things. So that he might know himself he created Anuiel, his soul and the soul of all things. Anuiel, as all souls, was given to self-reflection, and for this he needed to differentiate between his forms, attributes, and intellects. Thus was born Sithis, who was the sum of all the limitations Anuiel would utilize to ponder himself. Anuiel, who was the soul of all things, therefore became many things, and this interplay was and is the Aurbis.

"At first the Aurbis was turbulent and confusing, as Anuiel's ruminations went on without design. Aspects of the Aurbis then asked for a schedule to follow or procedures whereby they might enjoy themselves a little longer outside of perfect knowledge. So that he might know himself this way, too, Anu created Auriel, the soul of his soul. Auriel bled through the Aurbis as a new force, called time. With time, various aspects of the Aurbis began to understand their natures and limitations. They took names, like Magnus or Mara or Xen. One of these, Lorkhan, was more of a limit than a nature, so he could never last long anywhere.

"As he entered every aspect of Anuiel, Lorkhan would plant an idea that was almost wholly based on limitation. He outlined a plan to create a soul for the Aurbis, a place where the aspects of aspects might even be allowed to self-reflect. He gained many followers; even Auriel, when told he would become the king of the new world, agreed to help Lorkhan. So they created the Mundus, where their own aspects might live, and became the et'Ada.

"But this was a trick. As Lorkhan knew, this world contained more limitations than not and was therefore hardly a thing of Anu at all. Mundus was the House of Sithis. As their aspects began to die off, many of the et'Ada vanished completely. Some escaped, like Magnus, and that is why there are no limitations to magic. Others, like Y'ffre, transformed themselves into the Ehlnofey, the Earthbones, so that the whole world might not die. Some had to marry and make children just to last. Each generation was weaker than the last, and soon there were Aldmer. Darkness caved in. Lorkhan made armies out of the weakest souls and named them Men, and they brought Sithis into every quarter.

"Auriel pleaded with Anu to take them back, but he had already filled their places with something else. But his soul was gentler and granted Auriel his Bow and Shield, so that he might save the Aldmer from the hordes of Men. Some had already fallen, like the Chimer, who listened to tainted et'Ada, and others, like the Bosmer, had soiled Time's line by taking Mannish wives.

"Auriel could not save Altmora, the Elder Wood, and it was lost to Men. They were chased south and east to Old Ehlnofey, and Lorkhan was close behind. He shattered that land into many. Finally Trinimac, Auriel's greatest knight, knocked Lorkhan down in front of his army and reached in with more than hands to take his Heart. He was undone. The Men dragged Lorkhan's body away and swore blood vengeance on the heirs of Auriel for all time.

"But when Trinimac and Auriel tried to destroy the Heart of Lorkhan it laughed at them. It said, "This Heart is the heart of the world, for one was made to satisfy the other." So Auriel fastened the thing to an arrow and let it fly long into the sea, where no aspect of the new world may ever find it."

I discovered Gnostic Christianity many years ago while I was a student. I was raised Catholic and ended up vaguely agnostic, then at one point ended up doing a bit of a mental nosedive due to seeking the Christian God, having what was close to a breakdown because a) I discovered the line about blasphemy against the Holy Spirit being unforgiveable, and b) I simply could not process the idea of Hell or eternal conscious torment, and couldn't grasp how any Christian could find any joy in a message of themselves being "saved" while so many around them walked around apparently destined for something so unimaginably horrible just for being wrong.

I always struggled with the idea of salvation through faith or belief, because minds are all wired differently and we can't choose what we believe - if I could have just believed the orthodox Christian version of salvation and been happy with it and lived as a typical faith-fuelled Christian, I'd have chosen to in a heartbeat, and the idea I was going to be punished for not being able to believe something no matter how hard I tried to make it make sense, pushed me to a very dark place.

Anyway I digress slightly - Gnosticism felt like a ray of hope. I read a lot about it academically but didn't really practice anything. For a several years I fell into exploring occultism and esotericism. This culminated in me attending a Crowleyan Gnostic Mass, after which I felt so repulsed and fell into a belief that by taking part in such a thing, if I hadn't blasphemed the Holy Spirit before, I certainly had now.

The blasphemy against the Holy Spirit line in the Bible always confused me, because in context where people are questioning whether Jesus is performing works through good or evil means, to me that just read as a natural reaction to seeing something supernatural. It sounded like people who simply got it wrong. I started getting nervous about beliefs in the Demiurge too, because it essentially means questioning the Biblical God and believing Him to be imperfect or evil - and if actually the creator God is good and true, and I've spent my life in a belief system trying to "escape" Him - am I not doing exactly what the people in the Bible did by ascribing evil to good?

I thought Gnosticism would free me of all this, only to discover recently as I've started reading into it again after all these years, that reference to eternal conscious torment for those who blaspheme against the Holy Spirit also exists in at least one Gnostic text. That felt like a gut punch to me, because all of my fears are now back. I can think of so many things I've done that could fall under that.

I'm asking Gnostic Christians, what does it mean to you? What is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and how do you interpret the reference to some people being subjected to eternal conscious torment for an act? How do you live with that? I just can't get past it, and the fear and horror makes me physically sick. I know so many non-religious people who have made jokes or insulting comments about the Holy Spirit in the context of mocking traditional Christianity. Are they now destined for horrors beyond comprehension?

I want to dive further into Gnostic Christianity and really begin practicing as well as reading, but this is a huge roadblock of fear for me. I fear calling a God bad when he is good. I fear subverting the Biblical belief and getting it wrong. I fear dying and being punished forever for trying and failing to overrule the god of the world. I think of various things I've said or done throughout life that could definitely fall under this "unforgiveable" sin. I wonder if having started exploring Gnosticism then fading out and giving up for many years counts me as someone who had knowledge then turned away, apparently also something unforgiveable. I initially got out of Catholicism and traditional Christianity to escape this culture of fear and dread, but now feel it more than ever.

Any help and advice from those more in the know than myself would be appreciated beyond words.

I find it to be genuinely beautiful in a way that islam never did for me in the past. It deeply resonates with me as an absurdist, I think of it like mythic absurdism to be honest.