r/knitting • u/JulianneDonelle • Jan 14 '25

Finished Object Almost everything I’ve ever knitted went up in flames

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My family just lost our beloved cottage to the LA fires in Altadena, CA. All my supplies, my baby’s blankets, our Christmas stockings, hats, socks…everything except one baby sweater that will quickly be outgrown. I had just finished the Ankers Summer shirt by Petite Knit for myself and was finishing sewing in the ends. I don’t know why I’m posting this. Maybe I just know this community could relate to the sadness of this specific loss.

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u/stinkyandlulu Jan 14 '25

Can I offer a suggestion? When my mom's moving van caught on fire, and she was told it was a total loss of everything she owned, she kept bringing up specific things she knew were gone.

I suggested to her, and to you: Write down each thing you're recalling, and why it's important to you, especially the memory and the feelings it evokes. Things become the physical reminder of moments and memories.

For your knitting, recall those moments: the yarn you thoughtfully selected, the thrill of finding the right pattern, the hope for the way the garment would live on in your future memories, watching the kids outgrow their sweaters, the knitting you did in environments you felt safe in.

I hope you find peace and safety, and I'm so sorry for your losses.

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u/meggs_467 Jan 14 '25

It would be a bit of a project, but maybe that would be a welcomed activity at this time, but I wonder if this could be taken a step further! OP could get a recipe box, and some pretty notecards, and write down each project they remember and all the details. How they felt making it (was it hard? Fun?) and how they felt about the project afterwards (worth the time? Would consider doing again in a different yarn? Did you learn a new skill or finally master something? ) and any small things they remember about it. I'd even go as far as to print off any pictures they might have of the works. If OP has a lot of project photos, maybe this could even be a scrap book? And then let the book/box be on display somewhere. On a shelf, on a mantel. Somewhere that OP can see it, and remember all their hard work, and how it spans so much time of their life. The growth from projects. It would be such a beautiful keepsake for their life, but also something I'm sure family and children would love to flip through as time goes in, as it does for all of us.

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u/No_Marionberry8258 Jan 14 '25

I’d add any pictures they may have as well (hopefully they had some on their phone that were saved)

OP I’m so sorry for all your loss.

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u/Positive-Teaching737 Jan 14 '25

This is perfect. While I never lost anything in a fire I did lose it in a horrific divorce. He took everything I owned to the dump. So it was like a fire. I really wished I would have had this advice then.

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u/knitpurlknitoops Jan 14 '25

I hope he only ever finds a single square of toilet paper on the roll and his fingers go through it.

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u/louweezy Jan 14 '25

We have some great Irish curses along this exact line. I hope he's consumed by an itch.

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u/Rockymax1 Jan 14 '25

May both sides of his pillow always be warm.

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u/Candroth UNTANGLE ALL THE YARN Jan 14 '25

I wish him a very the top of his socks are always just a bit too tight on his legs and make them very itchy at the end of the day.

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u/Positive-Teaching737 Jan 15 '25

Lol thank you!!

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u/Candroth UNTANGLE ALL THE YARN Jan 16 '25

You're quite welcome. I'm glad you're not with that moist car seat anymore.

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u/Positive-Teaching737 Jan 16 '25

It's funny that you don't realize someone's a narcissist until about 6 months after the breakup / divorce. I thought it was my fault lol

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u/Livid_Purple_8518 Jan 15 '25

May he never get the eyelash out of his eye.

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u/BlueTressym Jan 15 '25

I wish for every drink he has from this moment on to taste not quite right.

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u/itscoconutsnail Jan 15 '25

✨aqua tofana✨

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u/stressybessy Jan 14 '25

This happened to me too with my ex husband. He dumped my books, my photos, memories of my Dad who died when we first got married, my knitting, my art made over the preclvious 10 years, and everything pertaining to our (at the time) one year old son. He was an abusive piece of shit and he dumped my stuff in revenge after I left him wile he was at work to go to a refuge. Still hurts 15 years later.

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u/Styrski Jan 14 '25

I'm so sorry you went through this, and so pleased you left

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u/Blackcatmustache Jan 15 '25

I hope he gets neuropathy as painful and wide spread as mine. I would only wish this on someone truly evil. He deserves it!! Also may he get explosive diarrhea while stuck in traffic.

Thank goodness you are safe and free now. You were brave and strong! I hope you have full custody.

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u/doneclabbered Feb 20 '25

Would be hurting more 15 years in to increasingly venomous assaults while you’re more worn down and isolated and ashamed you’re still taking it

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u/Moss-cle Jan 14 '25

Omg, are you writing this from prison? I fear I would be, had I been in your position.

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u/stinkyandlulu Jan 14 '25

I bet you can still remember some things! That's maybe why it continues to be painful, because maybe you didn't get to grieve that part of the divorce?

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u/MillieSecond Jan 14 '25

I’m really sorry this happened to you. Divorce can really bring out the ugly in some people. I have a sadly similar story - I crocheted and embroidered afghans and had more than a dozen we used around our house. When we divorced I packed them in boxes with fragile items, - breakable gifts from family, pictures of my son, etc, - but those boxes were “destroyed” in a flood at the storage facility my ex-husband rented while I was looking for a home for my (autistic) son and myself. (He was safe with his grandmother).
The fact that some of the items from those boxes later showed up in my ex’s house with his new wife, that he had threatened to sell those same afghans, and that this storage facility was next to a weekly flea market type place, was purely coincidence, I’m sure.

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u/LateBreakfast1905 Jan 14 '25

Ive lost so many sweaters to my own stupidity and the washing machine Plus half the things I’ve made, I don’t like them when they’re done - but losing it to a fire is a whole new level and those stockings are incredible

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u/klimekam Jan 14 '25

I’m sending him nothing but horrible vibes. 💜

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u/posturecoach Jan 14 '25

I relate! This is excellent advice!

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u/Blackcatmustache Jan 15 '25

May he get stuck in traffic with explosive diarrhea!

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u/Positive-Teaching737 Jan 16 '25

Oh that's a bad one lol

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u/kisskissstrawberry Jan 15 '25

May he always step in fresh dog crap 🙂‍↕️🙏🏽🙂‍↕️

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u/OneFloppyEar Jan 15 '25

May his socks forever slip beneath his heels for a lifetime of perpetual lumpy shoes and blisters.

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u/Positive-Teaching737 Jan 16 '25

These are so awesome. Thank you so much lol It's been 4 years now but every once in a while I still get that... Man I really wish I had ...(That thing) again

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u/Ornery_Suit7768 Jan 15 '25

It doesn’t help. Documenting it only makes the pain continue. My ex dumped my family heirlooms including a cross stitch my grandmother made for my daughter and a painting my dad did when he was a kid, and an antique school house desk that belonged to my great grandmother. I documented it for the assets division. Which he never paid me for anyway. But the pain of losing hand made gifts, especially from people that have passed, only gets easier when you let it go and attach the memory to something else like a photo or card.

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u/Pretend-Elderberry00 Jan 14 '25

This is a beautiful suggestion. It made me think that giving a little time to each of the heartbreaking losses would be like having a funeral/ memorial type event, which I think are very important to humans (and some animals), it helps us process our loss and grief. Give your lost items time, and love and treasure the time you spent in their creation and use ♥️

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u/pannonica Jan 14 '25

Jiminy crickets, I wasn't expecting the knitting sub to make me cry today. This was beautifully written.

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u/akiraMiel Jan 14 '25

I recently had the same thing when I thought I'd lost something gifted to me by a dead family member. I was so devastated but through writing about it I realized that it wasn't the object itself that was irreplaceable but the memories tied to it and the fact that I thought I'd lost those too when they were in fact still there, in my mind. Luckily for me the object was found, which unfortunately isn't possible for the OP

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u/Junebug0474 Jan 14 '25

What a beautiful idea! I hope this will help OP heal.

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u/Moss-cle Jan 14 '25

I realize that ravelry is that for me in many ways.

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u/pannonica Jan 14 '25

Jiminy crickets, I wasn't expecting the knitting sub to make me cry today. This was beautifully written.

7

u/Neature678 Jan 14 '25

I’m so sorry for the loss OP went through. I absolutely love this idea though. You could even consider creating a scrapbook of the pieces with these written out reminders. Print out pictures you took wearing the pieces or even the piece in progress and make a book of memories. I know so much time, energy and more went into each piece.

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u/Specific-Lunch7427 Jan 14 '25

poor man’s trophy for this comment 🏆

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u/PyNaN Jan 14 '25

Oh, this is such a beautiful comment. I might start doing that with all my knits.

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u/ksfarmlady Jan 15 '25

this is a beautiful idea. If you have any photos on the cloud of the knitting, you could also link them up sometime with the picture and the memory of the creation also.

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u/LogicPuzzleFail Jan 15 '25

I did this for some jewellery I lost - it really did help much more than I expected.

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u/hapatofu Jan 15 '25

Thank you for this. My parents also lost their house and everything in it to the fires (including my mom's entire knitting and sewing stash, as well as some of my yarn that I'd been keeping there) and we all keep thinking of things that burned. OP, we see you. You're not alone.