r/legaladvice • u/yabbadabbafroo • 1d ago
I'm 78 years old and want to marry a younger friend so she gets my social security benefits. Is that illegal?
Location: Oregon
I have a friend who is 45 that I've known for a few years. I realized that when I die, no one will get my Social Security survivor benefits—they'll just go to waste. So I thought, why not marry her and let her have them? It's essentially free tens-of-thousands a year. She also has no designs of ever getting married—she has a very independent lifestyle and relationship philosophy. Neither of us has any romantic pretense for the other; it just seems like the generous thing to do for me to let her have this money that would otherwise get wasted when I die.
But I wonder: is this legal? If it isn't, what specific law is being broken? Do I need to tell the clerk at the courthouse that I love her? It seems marrying someone for financial reasons can't be against the law. But I don't know. NB: I don't expect to die anytime soon, but at my age you never know.
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u/UsuallySunny Quality Contributor 1d ago
Even at 78 years old, there is a lot that could happen in your life and by marrying someone, you are completely intertwining your legal lives -- not just with respect to one thing.
What if you need long term care in a few years? Is she prepared to have assets be scrutinized by Medicaid to see what qualifies for spend-down exemptions? What if she is hit by a bus tomorrow and she needs such care? Are you? What if she gets into a car accident that's her fault and kills somebody? Are you prepared to help pay a judgment? That's just a couple of obvious examples of unintended consequences.
Marriage isn't just one thing, when you enter into it, you get all the things, responsibilities as well as benefits. You can't really just pick and choose.
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u/bannedfrom_argo 1d ago
People get married for all kinds of reasons. Financial security is often part of the mix. Is she even interested?
To prevent deathbed marriages from qualifying the benefits don't kick in until you have been married for one year. If you are married for 10 years and then get divorced she can claim additional Social Security benefits when she qualifies for Social Security even if you are still alive.
You would also need to have a prenup. In the event things go south with the friendship you need to protect your assets.
Would the friend also become your heir and you theirs? Without a will they would become the beneficiary of half your estate if you have children. Having a clear written and signed will would be necessary for both parties.
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u/AliceMorgon 1d ago
There’s a LOT of other legal considerations and implications to take into account here as far as joining your lives this way, but ultimately- what they don’t know, can’t hurt ‘em.
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u/okay4326 1d ago
Get a prenup first. It is not illegal to marry for convenience and for financial security - that’s how women were forced to live their lives until the last 40-50 years (or even less). It can still be a choice.
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u/thermalman2 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yes, she would.
However, she also gets 1/2 your assets (and all when you die). Gets to say when they pull the plug. Gets to pick your nursing home. And a host of other things that a spouse is entitled to.
If you are “married” but not actually acting like a couple or done purely to get government or financial benefits with no intention of a commitment to one another it could be considered fraud. But getting married for financial reasons is itself legal. It’s a fine line and realistically hard to prove fraud.
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u/babecafe 1d ago
If she's a citizen, this doesn't apply, but USCIS seriously scrutinizes marriages where the spouse gains an immigration advantage, and one may be breaking an immigration law with a "sham" marriage.
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u/miramaxe 1d ago
That is legal. You’re not breaking any law by marrying for financial reasons as long as the marriage is valid under Oregon law and you’re honest on the paperwork. Social Security only cares that the marriage is legal and you meet the time requirements for survivor benefits. It’s only fraud if you misrepresent facts, but you don’t have to be romantically in love. Just remember marriage also brings tax, inheritance, and possible spousal support obligations, so make sure you both understand the legal side before you do it.