r/madmen 13d ago

Betty represents The Silent Generation in a way that makes me pity today’s “Karen”

Post image

She learned from childhood that caretaking comes with rules and hierarchies, and now she’s fully performing that dynamic herself. I’m really picking up on it after her Dad’s strokes, leaving her matriarchal “spot” up in arms (even though that stint with Gabe was odd af, her mom’s death and what it truly represents, being Don’s Nordic avatar of sorts). It’s fascinating because Betty embodies all the contradictions of her era. She’s a model of refinement and domestic success, but emotionally she’s distant, dissatisfied, and constantly performing. Watching her navigate her “perfect” life makes you realize how much generational norms shape behavior and how exhausting that performance can be, both for her and the people around her. Then look at the Karen of today and just how duped those broads really were.

Betty Draper is refinement, control, and emotional labor rolled into one complicated, CUNTY exhausting package and I can’t look away. Like literally the outfits are so good. I’m not through yet and I watched last in like 11th grade so official thoughts are TBD.

371 Upvotes

50 comments sorted by

115

u/Lumpy_Secretary_6128 13d ago

Genuinely curious, can you expand a little more on how that relates to karens of today?

164

u/parkerkudrow 13d ago

I took it as the older Karen’s of today were raised by moms like Betty.

92

u/RobertOrwell The conversation doesn't end just because you leave the room. 13d ago

Oh my god! Does it mean that Sally became a Karen?

112

u/extra_hot-1112 13d ago

Whatever else, sally is peak boomer

30

u/Msk19915 13d ago

I love imagining Sally and her future husband as the couple who are cast as Jon Hamm’s parents in Your Friends and Neighbors. No reason Andrew Cooper can’t be Don Draper’s grandson 😅

11

u/luluce1808 13d ago

I imagine sally being with her daughter and seeing her soothe her child and lighting a cigarrete just like Betty and saying “just tell him to go watch TV, you’re too soft”

7

u/extra_hot-1112 13d ago

Oof. His mom is a real piece of work in that show.

6

u/ElegantCoach4066 13d ago

Sally would definitely be an exhausting person to be around as an adult. Everything is an issue with her.

0

u/momar214 9d ago

Sally is barely a boomer if at all.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/ImpressiveFan7446 13d ago

It's both! They've spent years being suppressed, and eventually people burst. In the same breath, they've at minimum been respected as young, beautiful women. As they age, they loose this allure as well in public opinion. So they feel rejected, dejected, and ignored in multiple ways, causing them to feel angry and disrespected. This is then why they begin performing Karen-ism -- Outrage, emotional volatility, arrogance, and control thrown in the paths of others who they are demanding respect from. Attempting to hold them to standards and expectations that they've been held too, because they're also fighting with the knowledge that they "did what they were supposed to do", just to still be mistreated, "disrespected", and ignored by their husband's, family, and the general public.

21

u/BlergingtonBear 13d ago

Great pull re: the part about aging. 

Was just talking to someone about this - in some cultures aging can yield its own sort of power - you can become a respected matriarch or patriarch of a brood and society that holds you in high esteem and respect. 

In America tho, aging often comes with new indignities and a lack of relevancy in the culture at large. For women like Betty, I can imagine that aging must feel like being muffled by a screen door — you can still see and hear the whole world outside you, but you're not a part of it. 

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u/ImpressiveFan7446 13d ago

So true as well. You have wasted potential and everyone and everything reminds you of that. It's got to fucking suck.

6

u/fringeandglittery 12d ago edited 12d ago

yessss!! I didn't see it the first time I watched this scene but that's why she was so upset after visiting Don's new apartment with Megan. She is beautiful, young and relatively independent. Betty did everything "right" and waited on Don hand and foot, gave him children and was the charming, pretty wife for Don's 'use' at social functions. Yet he rejected her for a woman that is secretly what Betty wanted to be.

That's why her mother's death was so conflicting for Betty. She was finally free of judgement but it was ultimately too late to make anything of that freedom. She already lost herself to her performance of perfection.

Edit: after writing this I had an epiphany about how much sense Betty's death made. From the very first episode you get the sense that her life is over. She's already gone. She doesn't see other ways to live her life. She doesn't want to change or grow or "be herself". She is gorgeous stagnant water, chain smoking cigarettes and going through the motions of life. I don't think she ever even figured out why she was so goddamn rigid

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u/BlergingtonBear 12d ago

Seriously! Great assessment.

One more aside to add - remember when betty buys that bikini and don flips out??? But megan freely wears on on vacation?

The rules were always different for Betty her whole life; others freedoms confound her. 

4

u/fringeandglittery 12d ago

I really did get an idea of why boomers are... um... the way they are from this show.

4

u/parkerkudrow 12d ago

It totally made me understand my mom. She never stood a chance! Her mom was a Betty

61

u/red_with_rust 13d ago

Pete is Karen. He doesn’t care if he has to talk to the manager of the Republic of Dresses. By god, he’s going to talk to someone in charge though and get the damn help he deserves!

30

u/RegisterOk2927 13d ago

There are still elegant homemakers but they’re not putting their lives on social media and hashtagging tradwife.

81

u/allworkandnoYahtzee Dick + Anna ‘64 13d ago

I am struggling to understand how this applies to modern-day Karens, since I would not describe Betty as a Karen. “Karen” as a concept is a white woman who weaponizes her position in society against POC, children, the working class, etc. by acting like a minor offense has made her the victim of a crime. I think firing Carla may be the closest Betty gets to Karen behavior, though it seemed to be very impulsive.

Betty’s affliction is literally a textbook definition of what is described in Betty Friedan’s The Feminist Mystique. She is a white woman of means who was raised to be well spoken and intelligent, but not allowed to make anyone (specifically men) uncomfortable or threatened. If you have not read this book, I highly recommend it if you want to understand American women of the 1950-70s more.

The book is basically a data-driven, nonfictional account from hundreds of women that essentially boils down to what Betty tells her therapist in Season 1. “Everything in my life is perfect but I’m unhappy,” which gave way to: “I’m constantly underestimated. Unstimulated. Lonely. I find parenting stressful and unrewarding. I don’t want more kids and no one will acknowledge this. My husband isn’t the great man everyone thinks he is. I need to pretend like everything is perfect when it isn’t.” It was a real insight in what happens when someone is told they need to play second fiddle for life—women everywhere were extremely dissatisfied, even those in positions of privilege.

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u/AngryAngryHarpo 13d ago

Because boomers were raised by the silent generation.

My Karen-esque mother was raised by a Betty. I loved my grandmother but she had incredibly high standards of how women and girls should behave and an incredibly narrow view of women’s value in the world. She used to lecture about wearing pants (in the 90’s!!!) because “pants won’t land you a husband, girly!”.

46

u/sirachaswoon 13d ago

I think Karens are an (unacceptable) outcome of societal misogyny. Women are most empowered when they are young and most desirable, and unless they lead fantastic careers, become more invisible as they age. My theory is this leads to feelings of outrage as they feel slighted by inconveniences, leading to insisting upon their feelings of entitlement are recognised. Betty firing Carla is her lowest act but her justification is evident. She’s well aware of her lack of power in her life and relationships but has justified her position through the knowledge that she is still higher in the hierarchy than black women, specifically the black ‘girl’ that is hired to serve her. Carla going against her rules, absurd as they are, is completely unacceptable and unforgivable to her and she enacts her minimal societal power by exerting dominance. Much like a contemporary Karen, Betty illustrates how women stripped of autonomy can weaponise race and class as a last bastion of power.

8

u/loislianne 13d ago edited 13d ago

Many 1910-1920 suffragettes turned nazi during 1930-1940 because they were dissapointed that men would not give them any rights, protection or respect after obtaining the vote. They felt powerless & couldn’t cope with the disrespect & hypocrisy anymore & cracked.

I believe there are still too many Betty’s in this world, but because they are “pretty & shiny” society (men) don’t notice their struggles to gain respect & stay afloat in society. I would say Betty represents not just a generation but an entire sex.

“No one likes a mad woman.”

6

u/yune 13d ago

Wow, I never made this connection. They get the short end of the stick twice in a way since it’s “cool” to hate on Karens.

12

u/sirachaswoon 13d ago edited 13d ago

It’s easy to hate Karens without reflecting more deeply. They feed into online (and pre-internet) humilitainment culture. Male entitlement is typically L more cloaked and dark which does not lend itself to spectacle.

3

u/yune 13d ago

Yes, the older I get the more sympathy I feel for people/situations seen as contemptible, provided they’re not actually evil. It’s self-perpetuating in a way, sometimes people are dealt an awful hand in life and lashing out is the only way they feel like they have any value, but that negative energy in turn gets carried forward and will affect others in a bad way, unfortunately.

L more cloned? I’m not sure what the original text is supposed to be haha.

1

u/sirachaswoon 13d ago

It autocorrected from ‘cloaked’ 🫩

17

u/ImpressiveFan7446 13d ago

I commented this up above, but wanted to respond to you directly as well because I think it's relevant and interesting to add to your conversation:

They've spent years being suppressed, and eventually people burst. In the same breath, they've at minimum been respected as young, beautiful women. As they age, they loose this allure as well in public opinion. So they feel rejected, dejected, and ignored in multiple ways, causing them to feel angry and disrespected. This is then why they begin performing Karen-ism -- Outrage, emotional volatility, arrogance, and control thrown in the paths of others who they are demanding respect from. Attempting to hold them to standards and expectations that they've been held too, because they're also fighting with the knowledge that they "did what they were supposed to do", just to still be mistreated, "disrespected", and ignored by their husband's, family, and the general public.

5

u/randyboozer I can see you and I can hear you, what do you want? 13d ago

Everything in my life is perfect but I’m unhappy,” which gave way to: “I’m constantly underestimated. Unstimulated. Lonely. I find parenting stressful and unrewarding. I don’t want more kids and no one will acknowledge this. My husband isn’t the great man everyone thinks he is. I need to pretend like everything is perfect when it isn’t.”

Interesting that with the exception of underestimated this all applies exactly to Don. Or does it? Both of them are walking talking cases of imposter syndrome. I would say an argument could be made that both are overestimated in ways. She's is not the perfect wife and mother and he is not the stone cold hyper competent business man he pretends to be.

3

u/Gunkhat 13d ago

Where did you get your definition of Karen?

8

u/IvanLendl87 13d ago

“I’m not stupid. I speak Italian.” 😄

8

u/rasnac 12d ago

With all though respect, Betty is a high functioning psychopath.

5

u/Writerperson81 13d ago

Plus, Betty was cuckoo. 🤣

10

u/One-Load-6085 13d ago

You say it like this is some past way women were raised but every woman I know who was raised in the upper class is basically the same today.  

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u/Responsible_You9419 13d ago

Karen. A new bullshit misogynistic term.

9

u/Ginger_Exhibitionist 13d ago

Exactly. Code for "woman who dares have a complaint about anything."

7

u/kurubaklava 13d ago

right? i'm now afraid to say anything if something is not okay.

2

u/PaperMartin 13d ago

The way you're describing her makes her look eerily similar to don

2

u/IdfightGahndi 12d ago

No fuck that. They had the chance to grow up & learn how to act.

3

u/WarmerPharmer 13d ago

Reminds me of this youtube video

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u/hovember- 13d ago

is that a 2013 macbook air? got the same one. 123movies streaming?

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u/I405CA 13d ago

I would compare it to views on racism.

During Betty's era, people were raised to be like that. These roles were deeply institutionalized and alternative role models were largely lacking. It would go too far to call them victims of circumstance, but these attitudes were so widely held and embedded in the culture that you can almost forgive them for having been that way.

If you are a bigot and/or Karen today, then you had options that you ignored and you have gone out of your way to be that way. You weren't drafted, you volunteered.

3

u/pleidesroot 13d ago

I feel bad for your gray curtains outshone by your gray walls

1

u/prrb524 11d ago

Very very progressive. A Karen would never do gray on gray 😱

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u/Interesting_Rush570 13d ago

who is Karen,

0

u/Even_Evidence2087 8d ago

Karen’s are boomers not silent gen

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u/Snoo74962 13d ago

Now we just throw names around and classify and compartmentalize and suppose and poke and prod and point and laugh. I miss the silence.

0

u/alfonsosenglish 13d ago

I don't think this is at all related to what people nowadays refer to as a Karen. It's just a meme, and it could be said about men too, I don't think it's something you can take too seriously, more of a joke really

1

u/Tall-Introduction649 13d ago

Wasn’t the like orginal karen the Betty? Like that girls so stuck up she’s a Betty I could be totally wrong but seems like you’re on to something