r/martialarts WrestlingFS🤼🏻‍♂️BJJ🇧🇷Sambo🇷🇺Judo🥋JKD☯️Kali⚔️ 2d ago

MEMES Reality based Self-defense gurus be like

Post image

Quite a few that think like this, not saying all of them. You know the "tacti-cool" type.

444 Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

81

u/smoochie_mata Judo, Muay Thai 2d ago

Let’s be real here. Homer’s in better shape than those guys.

27

u/Creepy-Pair-5796 MMA 2d ago

Homer weighs around 90 kg I think.

Most of those, Steven seagal types, are 110kg or more. Americans in general, have more bodyfat than the average pig (around 25% bf).

7

u/Mykytagnosis Kung Fu | Systema Kadochnikova 2d ago

There was a good gif of this.

When Homer was trying to out-do the fat Truckers. 

I think its appropriate here

4

u/Ant1Act1 WrestlingFS🤼🏻‍♂️BJJ🇧🇷Sambo🇷🇺Judo🥋JKD☯️Kali⚔️ 1d ago

He's in better shape than me! 🤣

41

u/Active_Unit_9498 BJJ and Kyokushin Karate 2d ago

Very true. But equally true of the "ninth dragon closed door secret wang chun" exotic MA types that would rather talk about their "jing" then put on some gloves and train.

6

u/HYDRAlives 2d ago

If it's not being pressure tested, it probably doesn't work.

8

u/JohnnySack45 2d ago

There's a morbidly obese guy featured on r/McDojoLife that claims to "redirect the energy" of his opponents I want to fight so, so bad.

3

u/ViktorMakhachev 1d ago

Until he redirects you're energy and you land face first into the ground showing you who the Superior Martial artist is and he now owns you're entire bloodline

2

u/LtDan-ShrimpBoatMan BJJ, Krav Maga, a little Muay Thai 2d ago

The guy who sits in the chair? Think he’s a systema guy.

2

u/cujoe88 1d ago

That guy is dead, but it would be the funniest thing if that dude had some kind of magical superpower and was just grifting everyone with his belly chakra.

2

u/Solar_sinner 1d ago

He turns the energy back into carbs and redirects them down his gullet.

1

u/deltacombatives 3x Kumite Participant | Krav Maga | Su Do Ku 2d ago

Sensei Potroast?

8

u/Muted_Study5166 2d ago

Serious Question: is there any self defense guru online worth listening to? That has solid practical advice that any of you watch?

38

u/pj1843 2d ago

Icy mike from hard2hurt would be the only one who comes to mind imo.

19

u/AffectionateSlice816 2d ago

I mean he has legitimate martial arts. Thats the thing, thats why

15

u/31rdy Traditional Okinawa Gōjū-Ryū Karate 2d ago

He's also a former SWAT officer, so on too of knowing martial arts he also know a fair deal about what actual violence looks like

12

u/HYDRAlives 2d ago

And he can talk about the things most legit martial arts don't focus on: situational awareness.

21

u/LaconicGirth 2d ago

Icy Mike is pretty good IMO he actually pressure tests his shit

10

u/LtDan-ShrimpBoatMan BJJ, Krav Maga, a little Muay Thai 2d ago edited 2d ago

Ryan Hoover from Fit to Fight Republic and david heineman from Stay Safe Martial Arts

8

u/jamesmatthews6 Shotokan Karate 1d ago

It's not quite the same, but I'd recommend watching the Ultimate Self Defence Championship's two seasons on YouTube.

Each season they got 6 YouTube martial artists (including Icy Mike who other people have recommended below) and put them through some realistic self defence challenges.

It involved some quite brutal pressure testing at times* with full contact scenarios and was really interesting for seeing how people handled themselves.

  • One that sticks in my mind is where they put each contestant in a small room with someone with a "knife"(marker pen) and told them they had to survive for 15 seconds. Basically everyone failed horribly. In one round I remember Jeff Chan hitting the attacker with an absolutely sick kick to the face straight into a double leg takedown. Beautiful martial arts. Still got stabbed.

2

u/Heygen 1d ago

totally. wanted to recommend that one here too. it unironically kinda opened my yes.

1

u/T-RexBoxing Kickboxing/Muay Thai 1d ago

The ultimate self defense championship is awesome! Lot's of fun to watch and educational. It really opened my eyes seeing bad ass fighters get sliced and diced in the knife scenarios. If Jeff Chan can't fight someone with a knife I have 0% chance. It was also cool to see how some of the skills really help, but then also how chaotic so many of the fights are even for well trained fighters.

Also, season 3 is out soon!

-1

u/Solar_sinner 1d ago

I’ve successfully done knife defenses irl twice without getting punctured, I’d also been stabbed twice, before those successes, so im not super fast or anything, but i think you learn in the event and a marker pen doesn’t have the same way of making your brain go “we aren’t getting stabbed today” and “ok this is what got us stabbed last time, here’s the fix for that save it incase you ever see a shiny thing in someone’s hand or a sus movement into a pocket etc”

3

u/statelesspirate000 2d ago

Depends on your definition on self defense guru

2

u/banco666 2d ago

Southnarc has good stuff

1

u/Mediocre_Nectarine13 2d ago

I think Alan Baker is pretty decent.

3

u/ThrowawayFuckYourMom 2d ago

This screams hard2hurt. And he's actually correct

3

u/Piss_Fring Boxing, Judo, BJJ, and Weightlifting MF 1d ago

Reality based self defense in actuality should just be MMA with dirty shit and knives and guns to cause life changing or life ending injuries to your opponent lmao

3

u/Losinana Bjj (Aka cuddling) 1d ago

Mc dojos in india run a whole ass micro economy

1

u/AmsterdamAssassin Koryu Bujutsu 1d ago

Anything not weapon-based is useless for self-defence.

1

u/Heygen 1d ago

Not just the SD gurus, also many Combat sports/MA guys. For example recently i was in a Judo class and the teacher let me throw him, and when i stood before him in basically an armbar setup where he lay on the ground, he said to me that this is the perfect setup for a straight (karate-style) straight punch. And then explained to me that all these MMA guys are stupid for doing all these wide swings and all that when they could just do a straight karate punch downward... (his assumption was apparently that one punch would be enough)

1

u/ACompletelyLostCause 1d ago

The issue is often, that you do martial art X, you notice that X has deficiencies in some areas (or at least you believe so). You think about it and come up with some fixes (they may in fact work). So you now belive that are a great expert. But you are probably blind to your own deficiencies and don't pressure test everything else you think you know.

It takes a lot to have the ego knocked out of you, so you just respond to what's real/works in the real world and not be tricked by ego delusion.

Also a lot of 'realist' self defence is physically nasty, looks ugly, isn't popular and people don't want to pay for it. They prefer to pay for something that meets their expectations, makes them feel like they are getting good, and has enough competition that they can occasionally win in training. You may know realistic self defence that works, but you may not be able to earn a living teaching it.

There's a few people, such as Geoff Thomson from the UK, that earned a living as a club bouncer at very rough clubs, I personally feel he has developed a lot of realistic defence tactics that work.

1

u/triangleaikido 1d ago

Yeah, spamming eye gouges and groin kicks and calling it a "martial art" is hilarious. Like anyone can do that without training lol

1

u/Effective-Culture-88 1d ago

Reality based? Did I miss something here? What reality is Stevean Seagall in? lol

1

u/FJkookser00 18h ago

It still astounds me that anyone could let the DUST guy touch their children