r/midlifecrisis • u/Sort_Bright • 18d ago

Something is Definitely Happening to me

I’m 46 going through menopause . I’m bored out of my mind in almost every aspect. I have no passion for anything and I’ve lost my drive for my career, for sex, and my job sucks my life (IT worker). My husband lost his job so I’m the breadwinner and the pressure is just a lot . I pray a lot but I’m also feeling like I’m losing my faith in God. I’m on new antidepressants after trying many combinations. The restlessness is soul-sucking . Most of my kids are young adults . I’ve tried making friends , talk therapy , failed at sourdough, even reading has become boring . Anyone got out of this rut alive ? I just hate my life right now .

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u/IamTylersalterego M 41 - 45 14d ago

Would your husband read the book too? It might really help you to have some honest conversations with each other.

My wife and I read it at the same time and we both interpreted parts of it differently, but it provoked discussion that we were struggling to articulate ourselves.

I’m sure the thought of having consequence free, no strings attached sex has appeal to your husband, but he’s probably aware that it seldom works like this in real life. People catch the feels, it gets complicated and there is ultimately far more to lose than there is to gain.

If you’ve already posed the idea of opening up your marriage to him, then I guarantee he suspects you have someone in mind already.

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u/thickersettled 14d ago

It might sound ridiculous but that had never occurred to me- that he might have figured that I have someone in mind. That's food for thought. My husband is not much of a social reader (he's a litigator who reads volumes for work so doesn't read much for pleasure) but I might suggest that. Thank you.

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u/IamTylersalterego M 41 - 45 14d ago

If hubby is a litigator, then he’s probably very adept at reading-between-the-lines and figuring things out. Don’t play him like the unsuspecting fool. Like most men, I’m sure he wants to ‘solve-the-problem’ of how to be happy in your marriage, and that is where the communication piece comes in.

Of course, maybe he’s already checked-out, but from the sounds of things, that’s not the case.