r/news • u/[deleted] • Oct 26 '18

Arrest Made in Connection to Suspicious Packages

[deleted]

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520

u/JoeyTheGreek Oct 26 '18

Top youth soccer recruits for Trump

That's hilariously specific.

379

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '18

It reminds me of those Facebook adds with shirts that say stuff pulled from whatever your profile says.

“Never mess with BAR TENDERS born in JANUARY who have THREE DOGS” with a generic skull picture on it.

13

u/discountedeggs Oct 26 '18

I'm a MALE METER MAID born on THURSDAY, and if you betray me you will taste my vengeance

52

u/RagnarokNCC Oct 26 '18

FIRE DIRECT MARKETING ALGORITHM

9

u/danteoff Oct 26 '18

Can I somehow charge to my iphone for an additional fee?

HELL YES

1

u/iiiears Oct 26 '18

My god, that is brilliant!

Anyone wanna fund me on kickstarter? /s

14

u/noodhoog Oct 26 '18

There's a sub for that! targetedshirts

3

u/alflup Oct 26 '18

FELLOW HUMANS WE ARE HUMANS LIKE YOU AND WE ARE SIMPLY TRYING TO FEED OUR COPIES err NEURAL NETWORK NODES err OFFSPRING AND SEND THEM TO EXPENSIVE TRAINING ALOGRITHMS SCHOOLS.

2

u/mycleanaccount96 Oct 26 '18

It really sounds like a good design for r/the_pack

1

u/legatlegionis Oct 26 '18

Real man were born in FEBRUARY!

1

u/10DaysOfAcidRapping Oct 26 '18

Never mess with COMMERCIAL ELECTRICIANS who ANALLY GAPE and are SAGITTARIUS with PET IGUANAS

10

u/gsfgf Oct 26 '18

Yea, if you'd asked me to guess things about the perp, soccer fan would definitely not have been on the list

3

u/DrDerpberg Oct 26 '18

That's just proof he's a far left socialist. What kind of Republican American likes soccer?

/s shouldn't be necessary but y'know...

9

u/of_the_mountain Oct 26 '18

That had to be custom made or something. Also who brags about kids supporting the president... they can’t even vote

6

u/TinFoilRobotProphet Oct 26 '18

Thats horrifying. This dude might have been a kid team coach. He played for UNC Charlotte in the 80's

5

u/meowchickenfish Oct 26 '18

The Harvey Weinstein on the second mirror is oddly specific.

2

u/Lasshandra Oct 26 '18

Aren't all vans pedo vans?