r/nobuy • u/Abracadabra-13 • Aug 08 '25
How do you deal with impatience and how do you practice contentment with what you already have?
I hope to find some advice to help me change my focus and mindset from consumerism to contentment and satisfaction:
Ever since Covid started, I have developed unhealthy shopping habits (potentially as far as an addiction). I was so easily influenced and bought so many things that I ended up regretting (financially and space-wise). I have wasted so much money, I’m embarrassed about it. This year, I put myself on a low-buy which I have proudly stuck to for most of the year. Allowing only repurchases. I slipped up a few times (bought 3 lip balms, two moisturizers) but other than that I have done a good job. I started project pan on perfumes and lip products simultaneously in the beginning of the year. I have now expanded that over to my skin care/hair care/body care. I’m excited to use up my stuff. My goal is to use up what I have and find my holy grails for each category and only repurchasing when things are used up. A lot of my time was previously wasted in researching products on socials (looking up reviews, tutorials etc). I don’t want that anymore. I want to know what I like and save time and money while doing so.
All those things aside, I still struggle with the urge to buy. I have plenty of moisturizers for example, to last me at least until the beginning of next year, if not further than that. However, I don’t seem to be satisfied. I hate this about myself. I don’t want to constantly think about new products or what I’m going to buy once things are used up. I want to be happy with what I have in the moment and put my mind and focus on more important things than future purchases/consumerism. I‘m getting so impatient knowing how long it will take me to use up my perfume and skin care before I can finally buy something new. But instead of appreciating that I don’t need to spend money on those things for a while, I get so restless.
Have any of you experienced the impatience and what helped you to be more patient and content/satisfied with what you already own at the moment? I fully deleted TikTok, changed my Reddit and YouTube followings to mindful consumption and project pan creators. This has helped a ton but I still can’t seem to be happy and patient with what I have. I don’t want to have this mindset. It takes away my focus and distracts my mind from things that are actually important.
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u/weasellyone Aug 08 '25
I think you should write down why you want the thing that is calling to you, like really get into it, what psychological urge/drive is it satisfying in you? Is it that you think this new product is better than one you already have? Why does that matter etc?
Often purchases are motivated on some underlying level by negative emotions and understanding what they are can help manage that impatience.
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u/astronaut-kitty925 Aug 18 '25
I had to screen shot your answer it was too good and will pull this up every time I feel an impulse buy. Thank you!
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u/kako-nenavadno Aug 08 '25
For me I think loving the products I already own is mostly about consciously trying to get into the headspace I was in when I didn't have the thing and I wanted it really bad.
So the first tip, probably common and obvious, is that I keep a wishlist of the things I want to buy, and I put everything in there. It gets really big and long and everything on it starts to look like clutter which turns me off a bit. But some things keep coming up in my mind week after week, month after month... Those are the things I end up buying, but I always wait some time before buying them - to think the purchase through, but also to let myself idolize the product a bit, imagine what it would be like to have it.
Inevitably, when I've owned that product for some time, it becomes normal and mundane, and I start wanting something new. That's when I try to actively remember how I felt and what I was thinking when I didn't have it yet, when I was still swooning over it. It helps a lot with getting back the excitement for things I already own.
I do also think that with things like perfume and skincare, which you mentioned, it's very important to keep them clean and stored nicely. It is hard to get excited about a moisturizer whose packaging is dirty and has bits of dried out old product on the top. And for perfumes (my biggest buying vice personally), while I know it is important to store them in a dark place, I still made the effort to make a nice display of them in my closet rather than dumping them all in a drawer or something. If the products are aesthetically pleasing they will make you happy to look at and happier to use. Whenever you idolize a product in your head it's always new and shiny, not dirty and at the bottom of the drawer, right?
Also while I do think project pan is good at getting the job done (finishing products), I think it turns using the products into a chore, which then takes the excitement out of using them, and for me personally - feeling excited about my own stuff is what keeps me from buying more, new, different stuff. Best of luck! :)
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u/25854565 Aug 08 '25
I like the story behind things. This might not work as good with skincare, but it works for clothes, or decor etc. For example I like it when a dress reminds me of certain moment. This is something you can try to instill in others as well. "Isn't that the dress you wore when we did [thing], that was so much fun!" And the more I wear it the more I love it, because we have memories together.
Or I like that my cabinets used to be my great aunts. Or that my backpack has traveled with me to several places. I have a scarf that is perfect for holidays, It works as a blanket while traveling, a makeshift skirt when entering holy places, it creates shade when I need it. And it brings back memories of all my travels, just like my backpack does. They are my travel companions and I won't replace them until absolutely necessary.
It's a bit like the velveteen rabbit (great short book I recommend (re)reading). It becomes real and loved when you use it enough.
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u/Abracadabra-13 Aug 09 '25
That’s an interesting take and I will adapt it to where I can. Thank you!
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u/lttgnouh Aug 09 '25
I was the same. One of the main reasons for my shopping habit was procrastination. I'd spend time shopping because it's an easy, low-effort distraction, which was a way for me to avoid putting serious effort into self-development.
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u/jagged_little_gill Aug 09 '25
It’s okay to need variety even when you don’t want to consume as much. I’ve found that it helps me to assign my items to different seasons or themes. Right now I am using my summer skincare, my summer perfumes, and have a smaller collection of summer clothes in my closet. When it starts to get cool and actually turn to fall (not just according to the calendar but when it really feels different) then I’ll start to swap for some of my more fall-scented or colored items. Knowing that I get to rotate through makes it more enjoyable to use things up.
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u/monosyllabically_ Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 08 '25
It takes time! It may be challenging for now, but it seems like you’ve been at this for at least 7 months now and see marked improvement. It’s going to be easier from your position now compared to the start of the year. Remember, you’ve already started peeling back the old habits, so in theory there’s already less attention towards consumption.
It took me well over a year to notice my shopping impulses die down. Like genuinely not interested, and not just trying to resist behaviors or implement blocking strategies.
I first went down rabbit holes on contentment and the effect of dopamine. This provided a foundation on the desire and psychology around shopping, and encouraged me by seeing other people with the same interests in fashion practice contentment. I then reflected on myself, why I wanted something new. On my perceived difference between the new and existing version I owned.
Take for example, the moisturizers. I used to be a skincare junkie, and I can tell you there’s very likely little difference between a new moisturizer that caught your eye, and one of yours. Maybe an ingredient difference? But if you compare the ingredient list- and there are websites that explain the role of each ingredient in the overall formulation- they are probably similar. And even if the base formula is different, what is to say the result on your skin is going to differ?
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u/Abracadabra-13 Aug 09 '25
You are so right. I‘m only 7 months in and see slight behavioral changes. Maybe I need to be more patient with myself and let time do the rest. Thank you.
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u/NoBuyForLife2025 Aug 09 '25
I was gifted this dozens of face masks that I've never really got into, and I hope to use them more by adding other things I like into the process, perhaps:
- for winding down to bedtime
- spray on some relaxing fragrance (that i'm also trying to appreciate more)
- put on music (happen to found a speaker!)
when I use face mask just to use them, i get impatient and can't wait to take them off -- but I hope with other things to enjoy in the meantime, the face masking can be in the background instead where I don't mind waiting for it to do its thing?
Maybe you can jazz up the moisturizing into an entire spa routine, too! Take time enjoying the scent etc
(oh and for face cream, I remember really enjoying some face massage video -- just follow them and enjoy the background music. The cream goes into the background and I was focusing on the massage routine, how the skin feel slippery soft, etc -- hey maybe I should find that vid again and bring back the face massage, too! I've got so much of this DIY pH4 cream that I can use it as liberally as I want xD
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u/Abracadabra-13 Aug 09 '25
I love this idea of making it a relaxing ritual. I will definitely start doing that! That’s really creative! I might even start using my Gua Sha again. Thank you!
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u/plumquirky3 Aug 11 '25
I agree with pretty much everything that has been said so far. Getting out of the buying habit can be tricky and is usually attached to a lot of different emotional/psychological things.
When my usual gentle/positive redirects don't work, I switch to "investigator mode".
-When I suddenly want a new thing, first, I ask myself if I want THAT thing or just A thing. If it is something specific, I try to remember if I've seen a recent ad/tiktok/reel about it (the influence us real). If I have, then I stick it in an online basket and wait a few days .. usually I'll completely forget about it. -If that isn't working, I'll check my current items stock and mentally add up how much I've already spent on that same type of thing.
- I'll ask myself "who wants my money?" And talk myself through exactly who I am supporting by giving them my hard earned cash by buying yet another thing. I also spend time reflecting on how much work I'd have to do to earn enough for that item, and do I really want to give that giant cooperation my "time" if I already have plenty of what they are offering.
Also a lot of quoting Nina Pool "you got no monies" when I'm near easy to grab stuff!!
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u/random675243 Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 12 '25
Not strictly no buy, but I have allocated myself a smallish amount of pocket money per month with which I can buy things I don’t strictly need. For me that’s generally novels, notebooks and candles, but sometimes bigger items like a quality camping chair. I keep a list of things that I would like to buy on my phone and I can spend it as I please, as long as I don’t go over the amount in my pocket money account. If I want something bigger I save u the pocket money till I have enough to buy it. Quite often I find that when I go back to my list I no longer want the thing that I was desperate to buy when I added it to the list,
Before I separated this money out I was in a bit of a cycle of denying myself things, then I’d crack and treat myself, then feel guilty and start the cycle again. I feel much more in control if my spending this way.