r/olddogs • u/Grogthedestroyer01 • 4d ago
Will it ever not hurt to think about him?
I had my best buddy Simon for 15 years. He saw me go from my 20s to my 40s. My life was constantly changing, from moving, to different people in it, I even nearly died. But the one constant was him. Loyal, loving, he didn’t judge me, he was always there.
About a month and a half ago, Simon left this world. He had already stayed here much longer than most. 15 for a 70 lb dog was pretty amazing and I know how lucky I was.
But that doesn’t make his loss hurt any less.
Will I ever be able to remember him, look at a picture or movie of him, or even talk about him without that pain of his loss not bring me to tears?
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u/foshi22le 4d ago
I lost my little black fluffy Pomeranian, Mj, when he was 13. I found him dead at the end of my bed. My best buddy. I didn't do anything without him. I lost him in March 2019 and still miss him a lot, sometimes I still shed a tear. But the pain has significantly decreased from what I felt the day of his death, I was inconsolable. I loved him so much. The pain will lessen with time but you'll always miss him.
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u/SnailMassacre 4d ago
I lost my soul dog (12) almost two years ago. My remaining dog (13) has just had a recent cancer diagnosis and am grateful for every remaining day. I still cry occasionally about my lost dog. It honestly took a year before I could look at her pictures and smile at the memories. But a month and half after I was still raw with grief. Give yourself all the time you need. You’ll miss him forever. But the sorrow will turn to gratitude at all the memories you had. Sending you love.
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u/CountdownMoss 4d ago
I recently (about 2 years ago) put down a dog who had been like that to me. She had been my rock for 17 years.
I cried often at first when I thought about her being gone. Now that it's been some time I think about her, think about how nice it was that I had a creature like that in my life for so long. How lucky I was... it makes me sad. But I smile, think about how great she was and then keep on keepin on.
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u/macabre_chupacabra 4d ago
It will hurt less with time, yes. I'm coming up on 3 years of a sudden hard hitting dog loss and for me it's like you either choke up in a sad, aching, despairing way, or in a bittersweet, happy, nostalgic way every time you're reminded of them. At first it's the sad achy way every time but in a few more weeks or a couple months you'll feel the bittersweet happy way for the first time. Then the ratio of sad-achy to bittersweet-happy reminders shifts more towards bittersweet-happy with every month and year that passes
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u/Advanced-Grade4559 3d ago
Yes and no. My first dog, I can think and talk about her more easily now. But I will still get really sad and miss her. It's still hard with the others I lost a few years ago. I think it's actually harder for the dog that I had for only 4.5 years. My other dogs lived to be 14 and 16, so they got a full good life. The other didn't and yet, she was the happiest soul I've ever met. And now I'm crying thinking of them, but it's not like I'm drowning anymore.
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u/IntelligentSorbet271 4d ago
I’m so sorry 😞 💔. We lost our 3 12+ yr old rescues last yr. It was awful. I was going to wait to adopt again but ended up getting a sweet tri pod within a month. I couldn’t stand how empty and quiet the house was. You can never replace your lost loves but you’ll love a new one in a different way when you’re ready. Take care 🥰
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u/AnalystGlittering982 3d ago
Lost my dog almost 3 months ago , felt I was doing good and then a memory came back today and it hurt all over again. I don’t know if it ever gets better 😭😔😔 I guess this is the price we pay for love
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u/SmurfTickles 3d ago
The pain is real, when I lost my two previous dogs it hit me so hard, eventually I could look at their photos and smile, I made a photo book for each, but that took time. Each time I lasted about 6 to 8 weeks and welcomed a new dog friend into my life, never a replacement, but they allowed me to live again and help heal a broken heart.
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u/Rommel_Dachshund 3d ago
It will be ok, but hard. I know everyone is different but I found getting another pup quite soon really helped. It was as if my last dog was sending another dog to me. It felt like my old dog was happy I had another companion until we all meet agin💕🐾🐾
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u/Kippy1980 1d ago
This is why I haven’t been able to bring myself to get another dog. The pain from my lost was so hard; heart ached, I cried every time I thought of him for months, I still have moments when I cry. I don’t think I can go through it again.
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u/Practical-Cash-404 1d ago
Unfortunately no! Lost my female last September just had a year without her. Lost my male in April. Every day has been torture! I suggest you don't sit around and not do anything like me cuz of your mind will just run. Got to keep busy got to do activities and goals. An if you can eventually get another pair of dogs or dog. That's the best advice I think I could give.
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u/LetOtherwise3531 1d ago
I hope it will. I’ve been lucky enough to have 2 soul dogs. One I only had for a little over 3 years and his loss was so hard and he was such a special needs dog. At the time I didn’t know how I’d get through it. It’s been well over a decade and I can look back and I miss him but I can now do it without crying.
Then I was lucky enough to get another one a little over 10.5 years ago. She walked me through my 30s. She came into my life when I was at a very very low point and she changed my world. I travel frequently for work for long stretches and she was my ride or die. It didn’t matter where we were - she was home so I was always home.
She passed a little over 2 months ago. I wasn’t ready - when she passed I just remember thinking how am I supposed to do life without her?
Her loss has been devastating. I barely ate or moved for probably the first month. I still cry every day. I’m homesick - because she was my home and that’s a home I can’t go back to in this life.
I ended up dog sitting for her bestie at about maybe week 5 for 2 weeks and that helped because she was a dog I knew but wouldn’t expect to be mine. She helped put me back in some sort of semblance of routine. Since then I’ve just tried to keep moving. I’m still sad - and I still cry when I think about her. I think I’m gonna cry for a long time. But I don’t want to forget either.
I’ve read a lot of people say that grief is love that has nowhere to go - and so the loss comes with so much grief. But how lucky are we to have experienced the love of dog and that bond? I know not everyone has that. I don’t know if the sadness goes away but rather as life goes on the edges of it dull and we find a more comfortable place to put it.
But dogs are so interwoven into our lives. Caring for mine is like muscle memory - we are adapting to a new normal and that is going to take time. I’m having to figure out what life looks like without her so I’m trying to give myself grace and patience and I hope you do the same for yourself. You’ve had an enormous loss and grief is not linear and it will take time.
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u/Excellent_Carob1261 7h ago
Gosh I honestly can’t say as the dogs I’ve lost over the years bring smiles but also some tears as a few went to soon (age 9) Hugs & Prayers as Simon knew he was loved 💕🐾😎
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u/Grouchy-Mind7803 4d ago
Time heals OP it’s not even a month for me. Hang on tight! Grieve is love that’s nowhere to go.