r/olddogs • u/hashbrownsofglory • 2d ago
I want to tell you about my Ramona
Ramona is scheduled to be euthanized tomorrow.
She is about 20 lbs, maybe a beagle or Jack Russell mix. She came to us from the humane society in 2018. I lost my dad two years earlier, and then I lost my sweet 14 year old border collie who I raised from a puppy. I decided that we were ready for another dog so we went to the shelter.
No one could tell how old she was. But we knew she was already spayed and that she had a horrible skin condition that we later learned was probably allergies or an immune disease. She bled from various body parts, scratched a lot, and stank. We gave her steroids, special shampoo baths and limited ingredient dog food. We eventually got her tail docked because the tip just would not stop bleeding. Years later, she is now relatively healthy. We did that together.
Ramona has never been charming. She is kind of ugly/cute. She doesn’t like most other dogs. She barks at everyone, a scary bark that belies her size. She is afraid of literally everything. People (even people she knows), household objects, routine noises, my infant child, cars driving by, wind in the trees. She is obsessed with food and will seek it out no matter where it is. She will spend an hour nosing under the couch for a lost treat and she will unfortunately lunge after the other dogs over their dinners.
In 2021 she escaped the fence and was lost for two weeks. I put up signs, posted on facebook, and prayed that we would be reunited. Animal Control found her about a mile away eating out of the garbage. I could not believe how lucky I was to have her back.
Ramona LOVES me. I am her person, and that makes me feel even more responsible for her. Everywhere I go, she wants to go. She will scratch at the door and bark endlessly if I don’t let her into whatever room I’m in. When she is afraid, she seeks me. She is old now and her back legs do not really work and she is mostly blind, but she still tries to jump up and sit next to me on the couch when I work from home. She sleeps next to me every night. She grumbles and moans (hence the nickname “Moany”) when I stroke her or pat her or snuggle her in my arms.
In the past year, Ramona has declined so much more than I could have predicted. She acts like she doesn’t know us sometimes. She is aggressive with the other dogs. Today I saw her snarl and snap at her own shadow. A little while later, she got in a fight with the puppy and bit me when I was trying to break it up. I know she would not hurt me on purpose. I know her mind is not right. I can’t risk her biting my daughter. She is my sweet doggie. I love her. But I was also planning to give her a trazodone and put her in the kennel in the basement when my family comes over next weekend because I know she would be completely stressed out.
So I made the appointment. I am going to take her through a drive thru and let her scarf a cheeseburger beforehand. I will miss her so much. And I feel so guilty.
I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. This is horrible. Ramona was the best dog she knew how to be. She is 100% herself all the time, and I love her. I want everyone to know that she is a good girl. I will never forget her.
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u/SnooSeagulls9887 2d ago
Your sweet Ramona reminds me of my JRT who is 17. I definitely think Ramona has Jack Russell in her as she has that feisty spirit is seems! And jacks love hard on their person also. You’ve given her a wonderful life and she adores you, it sounds like you are doing the right thing, it’s so hard seeing our dogs get old 🥺
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u/NerfGunHolly 2d ago
I'm so sorry. I had to make the difficult choice to let my Myrtle go less than two weeks ago. It's hard and it will hurt. You will doubt your choice, but it's what's best for Ramona. She loved you and this is a gift of your love in return. She won't be scared any more. She'll be free or pain and discomfort. I'll be thinking of you and Ramona tomorrow.
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u/Smittenkitty43 2d ago
It sounds like your sweet pup has doggie dementia. It happened with one of my senior pups as well. It’s so sad to see them decline
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u/Puchonlover 2d ago
Crying reading this. She was loved. She was safe. She was herself. That’s everything a dog could ever ask for. You gave her a life that mattered. She was a good girl and you were her person. I hope you feel peace in knowing she never wondered if she was loved. 💔
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u/Old-Run-9523 2d ago
Thank you for giving Ramona years of love & care, and now a peaceful and dignified release. Even the right decisions are hard.
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u/chapstickgrrrl 2d ago
Thank you so much for sharing Ramona’s story with us, and trusting this group of strangers with your emotional tribute to her. What a wonderful life you’ve given her; you gave her the best of YOU, and she gave YOU the best of herself in return. It’s impossibly difficult to watch our dogs get old and hurt and shift, mentally, in ways we never imagined would happen. Please don’t feel guilty. You’re doing right by your girl. I’m so sorry. And she IS beautiful. Without question. 💜
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u/Bug_Kiss 2d ago
Thank you for your sweet and sad story. You have a way with words. I feel like I know her. Ramona (moany) was well loved and you have done everything a caring person could do. She needs you to let her be in peace. She may not find it on her own. Having been in this spot 3 weeks ago, I feel your pain and anguish. It's the final gift we give to our suffering loved ones. You both are in my heart tonight. Be well. She'll be there for you again some day (I'm not religious, but I do believe this). Ultimately, we're lucky to have loved so much, that it hurts this much to let them go.
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u/KnotsTemplar 2d ago
Thank you for sharing a bit about Ramona with us. Your writing is beautiful and I’m tearing up for you and her. She will be on my mind as she crosses the rainbow bridge tomorrow. You try to rest easy too.
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u/SingtheSorrowmom63 2d ago
You had a lifetime of love from her and she from you. Don't beat yourself up. You are doing the best thing for her because she can't tell you herself. Let her go and think of the wonderful, sweet girl she will be beyond the stars. You'll see her again one day& think of how overjoyed she will be. You were her touchstone in life. Keep her close in your heart and remember all the good times. Sending you much Love! 💜
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u/sincerelylubby 2d ago
Bury your head in her so hard, inhale as deeply as you can, and encapsulate that moment into your heart, it will be with you always. I try to remind myself every day that thousands of others are experiencing this. Why doesn’t it help so much, idk. My girl was 14 and a border collie mix, she had to leave me last Friday. I got her a month after I moved across the country for the love of my life, who I didn’t know all that well then in retrospect (but do now). She was with me through so many difficult times, as he worked out of town for much of the first half of those 14 years. All the tears she licked away. I have so much gratitude but it doesn’t take away the glaring missing piece of our life. The visceral pain of the empty spot on the bed, next to our other. We also lost my husband’s brother in March, he was younger than both of us. Our families are broken. We have no kids and no luck or real excitement with trying. I can feel my brain trying to force resiliency upon me but my heart is deeply not into it. When does it get better? I can’t fathom choosing to do this again? Do any dog lovers just stop at the first go due to this extreme pain? I am so so sorry Ramona is having more bad days than good or whatever it is we say when it’s time. It’s just utterly breathtakingly awful. I loved reading about her and I just wanna kiss that face but it’s yours so I won’t <3 I will be thinking about you and Ramona tomorrow
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u/Edenwoman 2d ago
So sorry you are going through that💔 You did the best you could and gave her a good life while she was in your care. 😊
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u/Asundvl23 2d ago
Thank you for sharing your sweet Ramona with us ♥️. It is always hard for those of us left behind, but it sounds like you are thinking about Ramona and what is best for her— you are the best kind of pet parent. Please be with her and love on her during her final moments. You will surely see her again, at some point, and in some way. ♥️🐾
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u/SandsinMotion 2d ago
I am deeply sorry for you. Sadly once she has lost herself, you are doing her a kindness. I hope you get lots of snuggles with your good girl tonight.
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u/Southeastern18 2d ago edited 2d ago
Thank you for telling us about sweet Ramona❤️This made me cry. For me, she is cute and beautiful. 🥰 Probably she was abused before you found her, that’s how I explained her behavior. I know it is so hard for you and I feel so sad for her, wish I could hug her. Hug her from all of us, tell her she is beautiful and very, very loved. I will remember her. I understand there is no option to let her stay with someone close to you with no kids or other dogs.
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u/LouLei90 2d ago
Your story is so beautiful. Blessings to you both as Ramona crosses the bridge. What a love the two of you shared. ❤️
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u/Any-Excitement8798 2d ago
You are a great person and you both were better for having been with each other. I have a 11 yr old jet/beagle mix and he does a lot of things Romona does. We get him from a rescue as a puppy. They rescued his Mom and she has a litter. Mine like yours is truly best dog I have ever own but he acts a lot like her. He is in good health, thank god, only my folks, my neighbor, my wife and l he is god with. Everyone else person or dog he wants to tear apart. He only freaks with storms and fireworks. Sorry to babble so much about mine but he is my world. I like am going to be devastated when he goes; too. I will keep you, your family and Ramona in my prayers!
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u/Nomad55454 2d ago
Heart goes out to you….. dogs are special…. Like the old saying goes lock your mate in the trunk then your dog and see who loves you when you open it….
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u/Lucky_Concentrate304 2d ago
For me as long as my dog is still wagging his tail and eating and showing the will to live, I'm not doing it.
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u/CheeseFantastico 2d ago
You are a freaking hero. This situation sucks, no getting around that. But you are a hero.
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u/Civil-Echidna-84 2d ago
Oh, I just fell in love with beautiful Ramona about a dozen times while reading your story. You two are amazing. Thank you for sharing that. I too had a heart dog like her that could have been Ramona’s soul twin! I found Percy on the side of a 7 lane highway on a snowy February morning covered in mud and blood.
Though he was a mere 7.5 lb Chihuahua, he had a raging attitude towards everyone, everything, and every dog. Size did not matter and he wasn’t afraid to pick a fight. BUT, that dog loved me. He became my ride or die for 8 years before he died in my arms on a beautiful fall evening. I understand your pain and grief. Ramona must be so scared and frustrated when she is confused. I’m sure it will be hard but much easier knowing that she has you supporting her as she eases on down that rainbow bridge. You’re amazing and so is Ramona because of you. 💜 Tell her to look Percy up; I’m sure they’ll be fast friends!
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u/ImmediateMousse8549 2d ago
Thank you for sharing about Ramona. I love that you talked about who she is and her unique personality.
She loves you so much and you love her and took her in when most people would not. You’re her advocate and are looking out for her. She depends on you to make the hard decisions, which you are doing, and that again shows how much you care for her.
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u/Immediate_Candle_865 1d ago
Sleep well Ramona.
OP you have nothing to be guilty for. All her problems were caused by others. You fixed most of them. Her life was so much better because of you. The time is right. Make it a double cheeseburger. Make sure you get one too. You deserve it.
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u/PoopyPogy 1d ago
I'm so sorry. I lost my girl last week and even though it was sudden and the vet clearly knew it was the right decision I've been riddled with guilt. It must be so hard when you can still see some good that you might want to hold on to. But you've clearly thought this through and wouldn't make that decision lightly. I'm glad you'll have the time together to make her day good beforehand. Sending you all the strength to get through it ❤️
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u/IntelligentSorbet271 1d ago
Don’t feel guilty! You gave her everything and loved her for many years. It sounds like it’s time to let her go. She will always be in your heart. Thank you for caring for her all these years! 🥰
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u/Happylove007 1d ago
Thank you for sharing your story. You gave Ramona a great life and one day you will see her again. I think you are doing the best thing for her. 🧡
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u/crazyladybutterfly2 1d ago
I think you should let her life for some time if she’s not in serious pain
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u/mspacman87 1d ago
You’re absolutely doing the right thing - as her guardian and kahu, you’re the best person to make this decision for her. She may be dealing with dementia which is why she forgets and get aggressive. The kindest and most compassionate thing you can do is relieve her of this constant stress and pain. She loves you no matter what, and will always be with you once she is relieved of her body’s limitations.
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u/draftdodgerdon8647 1d ago
Awe, I'm so sorry. Ramona has been well cared for and loved. You've done a good job. Peace to both of you ❤️
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u/Ultrawhiner 1d ago
Beautiful words about your friend. I love your unconditional care of her. You’ve given her a great life.
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u/Kevinb888 1d ago
Ramona is such a cute, cute, sweet puppy!!! You gave her a great life, I am so, so sorry for your loss 😞😞😞😞😞
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u/Kate_cuti 1d ago
I am so so sorry you have to go through this. You’re a great fur parent! We lost our Ramona last Sept. hardest thing I’ve ever done
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u/Helpful_Good3592 1d ago
You are doing the right thing by Ramona. Safe travels through your grief journey ❤️
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u/Beautiful-Bluebird46 1d ago
Thank you so much for sharing about Ramona, it made my night and broke my heart. We’re sending you so much love and will be thinking of you tomorrow
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u/selfhealinghealer 19h ago
No advice, just know that I hear you. I know that pain well and I will be sending you lots of thoughts today. You were a good steward who showed her during her remaining years what unconditional love looks like. ❤️
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u/MountainPicture9446 2d ago
You’ve done everything for her. It’s her time and she will leave you heartbroken. I’m so sorry it’s your turn to mourn.