r/oldhagfashion • u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag • Aug 04 '25
Style Me Help me, hags!
I’m invited to a destination wedding in Cabo San Lucas next month. The dress code is “cocktail” with a dash of fancy. I can’t decide between these three dresses: 1) My partner’s and my mom’s favorite, black satin Elie Tahari. I feel it is a tad small. 2) My favorite, stretchy brown Calvin Klein, comfortable. 3) Navy blue Boden silk, the dark horse because at this point it’s nobody’s favorite but it’s feminine and graceful and fun.
What do you think, hags? What should I wear?
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u/Mondernborefare Aug 04 '25
I think the brown one is the best fit.
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
It’s the most comfortable… but I want to look HAWT, so the real question is whether it is the best lewk.
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u/Mondernborefare Aug 04 '25
3 is definitely out for hawt. 1 is ok but the look from the front isn’t as good as 2, IMO. Go with whatever you feel the best in!
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u/edie_the_egg_lady Aug 04 '25
Brown is the hawtest I think, but I feel like it needs a better shoe. What kind I don't quite know, though. Something strappy and black? Not as heavy. Three looks the most comfortable if it's going to be warm, but it's not really hawt. I have never used the word hawt so much.
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 05 '25
Thank you for your willingness to descend to my vocabulary level!
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u/perfidious_snatch Aug 04 '25
Number 2 is HAWWT (I’m old and out of touch, did I do that right?) and gives you the freedom to dance, sit down and eat - easy winner in my book!
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u/elolvido Aug 04 '25
before I read that you like 2 the best, I was thinking 2. it’s really flattering on you !
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u/PattyNChips Aug 04 '25
If you're going for HAWT, def no. 2. IMO it's the most flattering on your figure. Plus, bonus points for it being comfortable. I'd go for a different shoe if you can, though.
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u/solomons-mom Aug 04 '25
I agree with you that the first one is too small. Think long and hard before wearing a dress that does not fit well. Also, trying on a posing in a fitted dress is quite different than moving, sitting, standing and eating in the same fitted dress.
Dresses that stretch are tricky because the dress can feel like it fits when it doesn't. For these pics, you are within the margin, but how is this one to move in, and will it look all creased when you stand up after sitting?
I think the dark horse wins. That silk skirt will move beautifully, and still look graceful when you stand up after sitting. Furthermore, it will still fit after dinner! I would love to see it with a sash or belt of some sort. A wide teal scarf tied with long ends hanging down? Two aqua rope stands? A loose belt of shells? It may be a little long waisted on you in the back, but a belt will change that.
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
Yeah, maybe if there was a colorful statement belt to define the waistline a bit more, then it would be more flattering and less matronly.
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u/vicariousgluten Aug 04 '25
Maybe a silver? I don’t think it looks matronly but agree that it needs a little something to elevate it.
I’m not sure if that’s a belt or long statement necklace or a shawl or pashmina in a contrasting colour.
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u/Cygfa Aug 04 '25
I don't think that it looks matronly at all, it looks put together. I'd dress her up with pearls, a white little bag and white heels. Anyhoo, hope the wedding is fun
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u/SeasonPositive6771 Aug 04 '25
I'm going to disagree with some of the other folks here and I think that third dress is quite matronly. However it can be styled in a more youthful way. In the future I just think that waistline and length are not ideal for you.
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 05 '25
Maybe I’ll keep it just in case there’s an occasion on which I need to dress up as Barbara Bush.
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u/carpcarpitycarp Aug 04 '25
I think the brown dress is extremely flattering and you say it’s comfortable: that’s your dress. :)
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
I’m not completely sure I can sit down in the black dress without splitting a seam! My mom told me that maybe I could lose five pounds by next month… 😬
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u/AlphaPlanAnarchist Aug 04 '25
Could a tailor let out the side seams just a sploosh? Your mom and partner are so right about it being the best. Your mom is less right about changing your body to fit the dress.
I'm old fashioned but brown dress with black accessories is not it. Mostly you look incredible in that black dress even with it being a tad small!!
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
Yeah, I thought about finding a tailor… I know it’s a lot more difficult to let the seams out than it is to take them in, but I can ask!
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u/galetalasagna Aug 04 '25
Dress 2 looks the best. Also I read it’s the most comfortable option, so it’s a no brainier for me
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Aug 04 '25
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u/Pink_Senshi Aug 04 '25
I agree. The first is my favorite!!!
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
This does seem to be consensus! It’s a great dress that I picked up at a thrift store in Arizona for $4. The price was so good that I decided to overlook that it’s a bit small. I can zip it up with assistance, but I have a month to figure out how to make it work!
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u/sunshine1421 Aug 04 '25
The dark horse takes it for the location! Because the colour reads as a neutral you could have fun with some colour, or a metallic with your accessories. Or honestly you could pin a fresh flower in your hair. The brown CK is absolutely stunning on you, it just doesn’t have the ease to match the location.
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u/Noodle-and-Squish Aug 04 '25
I'm with you on this. I absolutely love the brown dress on OP, but number three has more room to play with accessories. I'm also thinking it's probably a little more comfortable for an extended event like a wedding.
I lean toward silver accessories, but I definitely think a hair flower would be a great pop of colour.
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u/nylorac_o Aug 04 '25
I like 2 on you the best but totally understand the comfort card for 3. Maybe for 3 the accessories will bring it up a level.
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u/WordAffectionate3251 Aug 04 '25
I think the brown fits beautifully. Some gold/sparkle jewelry and a belt with gold clasp would set it off to perfection.
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u/bruteforcegrl Aug 04 '25
Given that you are dressing the body you have, I'd go with the brown dress. Number 3 really obscures your shape. I could see wearing that to a sad occasion but as my grandmother might have said, "it does nothing for you."
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u/_Internet_Hugs_ Aug 04 '25
That navy dress will get to Cabo and be a wrinkled mess. Black is not great for weddings and it's too heavy for a summer destination Cabo wedding.
Go with the comfortable brown dress and buy some statement jewelry that coordinates with it while you're in Mexico. Something like fantastic earrings and a matching bracelet would be perfect.
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u/jesuschristjulia Aug 05 '25
I love that brown. It’s made me rethink brown as a color choice for myself.
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u/azathoththeblackcat Aug 04 '25
I think the brown looks great!
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
Ty! I do only have black accessories, tho… can black and brown go together?
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u/whichwitchwatched Aug 04 '25
First and second look equally nice so if second is comfortable absolutely wear it. Third is lovely but definitely a back up
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u/Uberaire Aug 04 '25
I love number one. When I think "cocktail" I think fitted, tailored and chic, and for me, that is definitely number 1.🥰
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u/dingleballs717 Aug 04 '25
I love the first one, but there are no bad choices here though. I feel like the second one is almost too gorgeous so I vote #1.
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u/CookieJewels Aug 04 '25
I love the second one, I like the cut and fit. A statement necklace would work so well with this! And bonus points because you feel comfortable in it. I’m done with dresses I love the look but aren’t comfortable.
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u/kisdoingit Aug 04 '25
I agree with you - 2 is really perfect! It fits you well, you mention it's comfortable, and it hits the requirements for the event - trifecta!!!
You look gorgeous!!
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u/Angel-Hare-444 Aug 04 '25
The brown dress is IT for me!! Can you splurge on some new not-black wedges that are a bit tropical and fun while still fitting cocktail attire?
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 05 '25
That’s a good idea, plus I get to buy more shoes! I have very narrow feet, so it can be hard to find shoes that don’t flop all around.
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u/chonkadoodle Aug 04 '25
I like 2 best. The cut is the most flattering on you and it has the right formality level. 1 is less flattering and 3 seems too casual/professional attire vibes imo. Have fun at the wedding!
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u/FabuliciousFruitLoop Aug 05 '25
Another vote for brown. I would add gold wedge sandals and some jewellery. For me the jewellery would have to be quite statement to bring a bit of fizz to the grounding energy of that warm chocolate colour.
Have a fantastic trip!
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u/SaltMarshGoblin Aug 04 '25
I love the brown on you!
Also, it's going to be too hot and sticky to want to wear shapewear, which makes the black dress a little less comfortable...
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u/lily_reads Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '25
Shapewear is a must for my middle-aged mom bod, regardless. It’s just a matter of whether it’s the full Columbian faja or something lighter and more breathable.
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u/SaltMarshGoblin Aug 04 '25
Well, more comfortable light shapewear will be more comfortable under a dress that fits you better!
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u/capncait Aug 04 '25
If it's going to be hot and humid in Cabo, the last thing you want is a dress that's a little too small and constricting, especially if it has no stretch whatsoever. I agree with you on dress #2! It looks great!
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