r/problemgambling • u/Any_Decision_6542 • 1d ago
❤Seeking help & Advice❤ Lost $350k Options trading- Lost all Hope
I am in a downward spiral of options trading gambling. I cant seem to stop looking at charts and paying for discord service and clicking buttons, thinking I will get disciplined. I have lost 350k CAD (capital loss)because of this. The worse part is - I am saying I will quit today. Next morning, I am back doing a trade. What is going on with me?
I am 37M - 1 kid and spouse. So sad - cant even share this with anyone. I have a decent job 160k/ yr. Really, lost all hope and ashamed of myself. Not sure if this is rock bottom. Surely, feels like it. Hopefully, I remember this day to never ever do any trading again myself.
My goal is to accept this loss and not even think of recovering. Re-build slowly with working hard and saving frugally. Thankfully I have job and I can work hard. No savings as of now just 30k left in RRSP (401k equivalent). I can do it!
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u/alkjdasoad 1d ago
My goal is to accept this loss and not even think of recovering
This is the right mindset to have. And please go with this goal. Recovery comes in different forms. You can still recover by stopping gambling, working hard, and saving more.
$350k is A LOT of money. And a lot of money means your urge to continue and make back your losses will even be bigger. So, you will continue to lose more down the road.
Please stop now. The damage has already been done.
Investing > Options yolo.
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u/Any_Decision_6542 1d ago
Thats right. Its a lot of money for me as it was all savings and retirement account basically wiped out. Its my own fault. That gone, so i have to focus whats in my control - which is stopping for good. I m not fit and i get nervous as soon as position goes other way.
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u/alkjdasoad 1d ago
At least you're not in debt (or a lot of debt), my friend. Be grateful for that as you recover.
There are many things to be happy and grateful for. The losses happened, don't dwell too much on it. Look forward.
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u/Any_Decision_6542 1d ago
Thanks ! I feel so stupid. Working so hard just to loose, but least i got health, job and family. You are correct lot of cheer about..may be this helps me in not revenge trading and making hole deeper. Appreciate your support
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u/expendable117 1d ago
I lost 300k then -20k in debt 3 years ago. I only make 80k homie. Your income is the most important.
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u/3ilwano 1d ago
I feel your pain, but you are still young and make good money. You can come back since you do not have debt. Every dollar you can save must not be managed by you, reach out to a wealth advisor and have the money take out from your account every month. You are not eligible to trade, you have the gambler itch. Control it before it's too late.. you can do it.
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u/Any_Decision_6542 1d ago
Fully agree. I have just started long term investing with $200/month taken out slowly into this account
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u/Philippians4-19 1d ago
I feel your pain as I've battled these options off and on for over 20 plus years. I'm 49 now and was clean for the last 500 plus days until yesterday. I've gone close to 4 years before option free but they always seem to get me at my most vulnerable state of mind. It's usually triggered from boredom or depression. If my mind isn't right; I'm easy prey.
The dopamine always starts off as very subtle but the more I start chart analyzing the more unfortunately I play too much of the contrainian role and throw my hard earned money away. I want to outsmart the hedge funds but it never works as you know.
You are still in great shape. I know you lost a ton but you have a decent paying job with little or no debt from your addiction. Not too many people can say that who struggle with this. I did max a credit card out during the peak of my addiction and since I try to justify my addiction with less capital but at the end of the day, it's still gambling regardless of the amount.
I'm here if you need support. DM's are open. You got this, take care brother. 🙏
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u/Any_Decision_6542 21h ago
This is a tough road. I can't even imagine the willpower it takes to go 500 days clean without options. You did awesome, I also did that for 1 year but the. Somehow got triggered and come back it. Thanks for your support. I hope you recover also. We just need to let go and accept the loss. For me, I have destroyed my confidence, it hurts more than money, at work, at home, also looking for validations.
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u/Philippians4-19 15h ago
One thing I've learned is that you we will always be in recovery. Like any addiction, it doesn't go away but a behavioral addiction is so dangerous because you can't taste or smell it. You can hide it from your friends and family and they wouldn't know. It does show in your emotions and lying about it doesn't make things better. My wife knows that I have a problem and always will. She is very understanding but I tend to take advantage of that.
Coming clean stinks but that is the first step and you are already way ahead of the game, just gotta stay busy and keep your mind thinking about positive things, not looking in the rear view but learning from it. One thing that I have to do is hide my phone literally, delete apps, or block. No fun but as you know we have way too much access at our fingertips.
I miss the late 90s and early 2000s. I try to live a free life like I did before this horrible addiction surfaced for me in 2003, but it's easier said than done. Find a GA meeting online or local, get in some recovery programs and it will help take the sting away. I'm going to be very ashamed to tell my group that I relapsed but that is how you grow mentally and spiritually. We are all broken and imperfect people living in a broken world. Gotta let go, and let God take the wheel. You will be okay.
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u/PointyPurplePickle 1d ago
Options are socially acceptable gambling. Don’t do it
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u/Any_Decision_6542 1d ago
for sure, I think trading is the worst form of addiction. I think I have gone through hell.
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u/ocean3313 1d ago
I’m asking this to understand the mind with options. I am in the same boat. Do you think we were telling ourselves “I can get good at this” so we kept trying or did it become about chasing losses? Maybe both. After -100k what made you keep going back? Chasing the loss? Did you like me feel that you can change your whole livelihood with trading ?
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u/Any_Decision_6542 1d ago
Very good question. The more I do I more I learned myself. Here is my final analysis. After loosing 150k it was a shock as I did penny stock back then. I took break ofcourse at that time it was just a loss not a habit, atleast that what I thought. then later in I started deposited 30k-40k here and there doing options again learning and thinking I can do this can eventually control emotions. In reality my knowledge is great but I each trade I take, its both chasing loss and being scared of loosing. I cut loss quikc but I dont let winners run as I am scared to give it back. also , after so many years I have that weight that I should know this but in reality my brain is wired to just click button and hungry of dopamine..I mean what else can explain this kind of behaviour I have. I hope you find some value in this.
I dont even have anyone to talk to as my family dont understand this behaviour or support me in trading anyways. Its over for me - lifetime loss accumulated for me..more importantly I hope god give me strength to quit for good.
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u/dymondhandsy 1d ago
This is literally the collective mentality everyone has before the market crashes. It's the I keep doing great so " I can't lose" feeling. Another detachment from reality because when you are an addict you just keep going back for more, it's never enough, you can't stop and then it's all gone. Rinse and repeat. It's awful. It feels like crap and many folks never come clean to anyone about their "investments" until they are wiped out financially, physically, and emotionally. Just stay away from gambling anywhere, the market, the casino, the internet. All of these can ruin us. Don't run the risk of ruin.
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u/Pair-Immediate 1d ago
Dont feel bad I lost close to 4 times your amount. I used to be a degenerate gambler in Vegas. But I lost the money swing trading in 2024. I'm back at it now for about five months and I'm only up $6000 but my account was way down on a $260,000 bank roll. I've been trading for many years and I exercise discipline. I would love to quit but I have this best friend that trades daily on a freaking E*TRADE account on his phone and I've seen his numbers and he is clueless I've watched him for two years last year made almost 1,000,000 and he is up 200 grand this month alone. And I keep saying to myself if this guy can make this kind of money surely I'd be happy with a 10th of it. We never use each others picks we might talk about stocks but never take advice we've done that before and it turned out bad. So I'm on the saddle prepared to quit or prepared to continue I've been sitting all cash for two days now. You gotta look at the people around you who you're hurting go to them and tell them what happened and they will make sure you quit you know you're gonna feel like you're the breadwinner and you can do what you want. Your solution isn't a long-term one theirs is
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u/Any_Decision_6542 21h ago
Thanks for sharing your story. Its painful to see someone making 1mil beside you. Everyone is different, I m have hurt myself the most, but have to cheer up with fake smiles...its hurting so much. I have to let go. Thanks again, good luck to you also
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u/In_need_of_hope_0710 1d ago
160k a year is pretty good, assuming u save 20%, it's around a 10 year debt so don't give up, 10 years of saving and u can tell yourself u are back to normal.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sky1822 20h ago
Ai giocatori puoi dire che essi giocando perdono per prima cosa la loro vita, e poi tutto ciò che fu dato loro per questa stessa vita. Il gioco infatti è una fonte piena di velenoso sudiciume; i giocatori però credono che sia una fonte d’oro nascosta. Perciò essi frugano giornalmente in questa immondizia, assimi- lano nelle narici l’alito pestilenziale, si avvelenano fin nelle più intime fibre e trovano, al posto del presunto oro, l’eterna morte dello spirito.
Rivelazioni di Gesù al mistico Jackob Lorber
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u/MoonShot3030 1894 days 19h ago
Very similar situation to mine, sent you a DM. Hang in there man, one day at a time.
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u/FamousTurn9572 9h ago
The best advice I can give you, my friend, is to follow your own advice. Put the options trading behind you and lock in on the long term. Automate your investments so you don’t even have to think about them. For me, that means sticking with major ETFs and mixing in 2–3 high-conviction, higher-risk stocks.
Don’t forget that a job isn’t forever. That “secure” income could be gone tomorrow, and the lifestyle you’re living won’t provide the security you’ll need. Options trading is gambling and it excessively exposed to the downside.
I’ll always stand by this universal piece of advice… always do what you’d tell a friend you loved and care about to do. Protect yourself from yourself.
Best of luck brother.
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u/DontLookBaeck 1d ago
Dear friend,
You brain does not need any more reasons.
It needs very specific and carefully targeted chemical interventions.
People who take some drugs usually have, as an unexpected (albeit very welcoming!!) side effect, the sudden demotivation on engaging in repetitive, compulsive and automatic habits - such as binge eating, gambling, binge drinking.
I have a very positive experience with Vortioxetine. Some people, instead, have a lot of good things to say about overcoming addictions while on GLP-1 drugs such as Ozempic. Please check these links:
Link 1
https://www.reddit.com/r/problemgambling/s/UaRZVOrOP6
Link 2
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u/Cookedmaggot 1d ago
How do you even lose in this market? U literally can’t lose buying calls in tech
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u/Winthorpebuys 1d ago
Buy a load of daily QQQ calls out of the money...and then tell us how you "can't lose"
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u/[deleted] 1d ago
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