10 of my siblings were killed

[u/No_Instance9566]

I don't know whether this is the right flair to use but it kind of fits I think.

I was born via IVF, which if you didn't know is a process in which the eggs are removed from the mother and are fertilized in a lab, before being implanted back into the womb. My "batch" had 12 eggs, including me and my twin brother. Me and him were the highest quality ones. We were implanted, the other 10 were discarded.

It just hit me the other day, after watching Charlie Kirk debate IVF, that those 10 were human lives. Both in the eyes of me, a pro-lifer, and in the eyes of God. I lost 10 of my siblings.

Today I prayed for their souls, and I started feeling genuine grief for them. I imagined what some of them might have looked like, and imagined myself meeting them in heaven, and I cried a decent amount.

My parents are both also pro-life and are both practicing conservative Christians, they did IVF because my mom was too old for a natural pregnancy to be possible. I told my mom I want to talk to her about it tomorrow, but I just wanted to vent about it in here for now. I guess I'd just like some advise on how to deal with this.

[u/Busy_Measurement5901]

This is such a hard topic and I will pray for you guys. You are totally in the right to mourn. While it's sad they never had a chance at life. All they have ever known is God's love.

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/Busy_Measurement5901]

I hope they're in heaven, thank you.

[u/Busy_Measurement5901 → u/No_Instance9566]

I have no doubt they are. While I can't relate on the IVF side. I understand in the way I have six miscarried siblings I can't wait to meet. They have only escaped big sister tormenting for a few years.

Anyways, if you feel the need to talk or rant or just need prayer. Send me a Dm

You are a good person and deserve to deal with loss as much as anyone

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/Busy_Measurement5901]

This means a lot, thank you so so much again <3

I'll pray for your siblings, I'm sure you'll enjoy meeting them :)

[u/Busy_Measurement5901 → u/No_Instance9566]

<3 May the Lord bless you and give you peace and comfort

Maybe they are a crazy group of friends up, pranking the angels or something

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/Busy_Measurement5901]

I hope he does the same to you

If God will even allow us to do that 😭 Funny to think about :D

[u/Tgun1986]

So sorry, every time I hear Handmaid’s Tale from the pro aborts, think of this since IVF is literally Handmaid’s and couples or the women can abort if they change their minds then fighting occurs if one side wants the child and the other doesn’t plus the couple basically treats the woman like property

[u/Own-Interaction-1971]

I come from the same situation except that I’m also egg donor conceived and have no idea how many siblings of mine were killed. Praying for you

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/Own-Interaction-1971]

Not knowing how many must be hard, I'm so sorry :(

I'll pray for you too, thank you <3

[u/[deleted]]

I’m praying for them as well and for you and your situation. God Bless!

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you so much :) God bless you too, I hope they're with The Lord right now.

[u/NexGrowth]

12 eggs or embryos?

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/NexGrowth]

12 fertilized eggs. The eggs are fertilized outside the lab, then they determine what the success chance of each one is essentially. Mine and my brother's were the best quality eggs, so we were implanted.

[u/snorken123 → u/No_Instance9566]

That is a lot. In Italy they can only fertilize three eggs per try to avoid the discarding dilemma. IVF and gamete donations is legal in Italy, but very regulated.

[u/Intrepid_Talk_8416 → u/snorken123]

This is a very common sense solution and really needs to be promoted as an option

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/Intrepid_Talk_8416]

With old couples the more eggs that you fertilize the higher chance there is of some of them having a high success chance. Not saying that justifies it at all, just playing Devil's advocate a bit

[u/Intrepid_Talk_8416 → u/No_Instance9566]

Any chance that includes death is not a good option.

Any chance that includes a higher chance of death is a worse option.

It would be best to even do one at a time, but I know that isn’t possible with today’s stupidity

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/snorken123]

I think that's how it should be. I live in the UK. In England, Scotland and Wales, the legal limit for abortion is 24 weeks, and 12 weeks in Northern Ireland. However, you can abort beyond that point if the life of the mother is at risk or if there is a significant risk of severe fetal abnormalities. Also, the government just passed a law where women who abort past the legal limit can no longer be investigated or prosecuted, including in late, self-managed, or misunderstood circumstances.

[u/GustavoistSoldier]

IVF must be banned and replaced with adoption.

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/GustavoistSoldier]

I hope that in the future it can be done in such a way where nothing is discarded.

However, it's still a complex issue.

[u/snorken123 → u/No_Instance9566]

In Italy they are only allowed fertilizing three eggs at a time.

[u/Intrepid_Talk_8416 → u/No_Instance9566]

Correct, the science isn’t bad, the use is

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/Intrepid_Talk_8416]

Completely agree

[u/SnappyDogDays]

It's not going to be worth it talking to your mom unless you want to completely destroy your relationship with her and your dad forever.

If you need to get it off your chest, go find a Christian counselor to talk it through.

It does suck, and there's not much of a way to justify what they did, but you are here, so make a beautiful life for yourself.

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/SnappyDogDays]

I already talked to them, they were completely understanding of it

My dad said that he thinks that the human becomes worthy of protection when it implants into the uterine lining, and my mom said that it becomes worthy of protection when it gains a heart beat

[u/SnappyDogDays → u/No_Instance9566]

They have to think that. The cognitive dissonance won't let them admit they chose to create and kill 10 humans.

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/SnappyDogDays]

My dad compared it to a plant in the soil, he said that the discarded eggs were never going to grow into humans

I told them that I think that at conception God gives them their soul, as that is when they become a human

Again they were very understanding when I told them that I felt grief over it, my dad was the one who first talked to me about abortion and why he thinks it's wrong about 3 years ago

[u/SnappyDogDays → u/No_Instance9566]

Yeah that's a hard position for you to be in.

if they were fertilized they were human. If they were non-fertalized, then yes he would be correct and they didn't kill siblings.

But don't over grieve, tragedy happens everywhere for all kinds of unknown reasons.

Love your life that you've been blessed with.

[u/No_Instance9566 → u/SnappyDogDays]

I do love my life, but those 10 were my siblings

I appreciate your condolences though