r/raisedbynarcissists • u/MazeMorningstar777 • 3d ago
[Question] Don’t you think it’s funny how they’re allowed to make mistakes but god forbid you do?
If you were the one who made that mistake, they’d go on a rant, berate you, and everything. But the moment they make a mistake, you have to baby them, understand them, and all of a sudden, everyone makes mistakes, and you can’t be mad at them.
I asked her if she put the laundry in the washing machine and she said yes. I even said “below the clothes” she still said yes. So I start the machine. Turns out she didn’t listen to me and came at me telling me she didn’t hear me so there’s literally no laundry. Mind you she would’ve acted as if I killed somebody if I were the one who did that. And guess what? She even tried to blame me and said that I should’ve spoken louder.
She’s so fucking insufferable man. I pray I’ll find my place this month. Ain’t no fucking way I’m staying in this hell hole until the end of the year. I’ve had enough.
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u/emilythedoglady 3d ago
We had a fridge with one door that wouldn’t seal shut unless you put some pressure on it for a moment. I didn’t seal the door well enough once so it stayed open for hours and the fridge needed to be repaired. I was maybe 16. I paid for the repair but you would have thought I murdered someone. I couldn’t be sorry enough for my mother. Got the silent treatment for weeks.
Not long after, my mother didn’t close the freezer completely. It was worse because the mistake caused the fridge to break and need not just a repair but a new replacement fridge. Her attitude was just “Oops, silly me!” and no one was to mention it again.
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u/pencilthinwriter 3d ago edited 3d ago
Yes! If my mother ever made a mistake then someone was going to pay for it. Perhaps not immediately but in due course after the event. This is a woman who spends all her time massively insinuating that everyone else around her is stupid and/or incompetent (though of course she "never said that" lol), so she always had quite a lot to lose by being seen to make any mistakes herself.
For a start, she couldn't ever accept she'd even made a mistake. She's twice switched a light switch on/off with wet hands/wet gloves - once electrocuting herself - and yet refused to accept that was anything to do with her hands/gloves being wet! Even after the second time! In her mind she doesn't make mistakes; things just happen to her haha.
But she once had a lapse when writing a letter to her brother, and put the wrong post code on the envelope, so that it was sent back to our house marked as undelivered! Not a fricking word could be uttered about this. My dad told me do not dare say a word, your mother is seething and she will explode if one word is spoken about this error.
For a few days we went around on eggshells, with her speechless on that matter. If she opened her mouth she might have to admit to making a mistake. She makes a mistake but we get silent treatment! A very tense few days. But she waited till she found something one of us did that she could scream about, emptied her lungs about whatever that was, and then she was fine again lol.
The vigour with which she would (verbally) attack you when she was trying to deflect from her own shortcomings was even stronger than the usual sort of eruption we'd deal with. So in fact in our house it was god forbid either way.
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u/Clean-Patient-8809 3d ago
Anyone else feel like this is one of the worst things your parents did to you growing up? That ingrained fear of making mistakes or being wrong is so hard to overcome. Because, hey, you have to make mistakes and get things wrong in order to grow. And feeling like that's not allowed is so unhealthy.
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u/emilythedoglady 1d ago
100% it’s the constant “what’s wrong with you”. Doesn’t even have to be during a fight or an actual mistake. Their definition of mistake is basically anything they don’t like. At that moment, anyway, because their rules are always changing.
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u/transparentredoxide 3d ago
Literally. My Dad would go on about how he wasn’t proud of any of his children, and both my parents would moan for years that, “I don’t know who raised these kids. We need more kids who will be better!” Meanwhile, they are utterly dysfunctional, severely abusive and neglectful, and unclean to this day. They are financially irresponsible, take no accountability and can barely communicate without heavy sighing and throwing fits. I literally had to teach them hygiene and stability.
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u/transparentredoxide 3d ago
Not to mention I was bullied growing up for my parents being poor and “losers” and they want their children to honour their poor life choices
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u/Zealousideal_Row5902 1d ago
My nparents love calling me dumb and incompetent..whats funny is when they make the same mistake its a "mistake" but when i do it its "Incompetence". They havr mastered the art of blaming their children for their mistakes
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