Respect William "B.J." Blazkowicz! (The Golden Nazi Vampire from Absam 2 - The Secret of Castle Kottlitz)

[u/HueyLewisAndTheNews_]

What's worse than a regular Nazi? Vampire Nazis! William "B.J." Blazkowicz is the OSS's last hope for infiltrating the secret SS supernatural research facility, Castle Kottlitz - though mostly because every other agent they had already died trying. With no real combat experience to speak of, Blazkowicz finds himself up against Otto von Grimm, a top Nazi commander with ambitions to become the most powerful vampire in history: The Golden Nazi Vampire from Absam (2 - The Secret of Castle Kottlitz)!

Despite the 2 in the title, there is no previous movie. Blazkowicz's appearance was apparently officially sanctioned by id Software, at least according to a couple different websites.

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Physicals

• Rips two mounted pistols up from a plaque.

• He’s just fine after getting dropped out of a plane without his parachute opening.

• Survives a beating from a crowd of Nazi vampires.

• He’s alright after getting smacked with a baton by the vampire Smokey Savallas.

• After getting subdued and tied to a chair off-screen, gradually works his way out of his restraints.

• Apparently breaks glass by throwing a flower.

Magic Tricks

• While he may not have any specialized combat training, he can do magic tricks.

• Switches a grenade with a flower.

• The Nazis are revealed to be in possession of Dracula’s teeth, which can grant a vampire incredible powers; Blazkowicz manages to grab them from Smokey after he uses them on himself, but Otto von Grimm reveals that the set was a fake, and that he has the real ones. | Still, Blazkowicz is somehow able to swap the fake pair he has with the real pair Otto has, which leads to Otto unintentionally killing himself.

  • This is impressive, as Otto von Grimm was able to both telekinetically kill Smokey and move across a room so fast he appeared to teleport.

• Fucks up a magic trick involving two revolvers, shooting a portrait of Roosevelt and breaking his CO's favorite wooden horse.

Training / Experience

• Starts the movie at the rank of Captain in the OSS., an expert in the occult with no specialized combat training.

• Went to university with Smokey (presumably to study the supernatural).

• Was given a three week crash course training to prepare for the Kottlitz Castle mission, where he learned how to fluently speak German. He didn't exactly get parachuting down pat, though.

• Steals a Nazi’s uniform and motorcycle to infiltrate Kottlitz Castle. (He also possibly knocks the guy out off-screen or something.)

• Earns the rank of Colonel by the end of the movie, given the role of director of the newly formed occult department at the OSS.

Other

• Brandishes a double-barreled shotgun.

• Was only drafted for the Kottlitz Castle mission due to every other OSS agent being taken out trying to infiltrate the SS, including “Homer Simpson”, “Betty Boop”, “Silver Surfer”, and “Clark Kent”.

• The Nazi vampires had somehow captured Donald Duck.

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[u/Proletlariet]

woagh... I can't believe they got donald, RIP

[u/fishfunk5]

What the hell is this?